


They Never Had

by PotterandEvans



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hogwarts, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), mature language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 95,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotterandEvans/pseuds/PotterandEvans
Summary: She hated him. Nah, she didn't.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 16
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Lily walked up from the library, she’d managed to finish her homework for the rest of the week and had the pieces of parchment pressed flat in the bag on her shoulder. She checked her watch and quickened her pace, finding herself outside the portrait hole with a moment to spare. She brushed herself down and fixed the prefect badge on her robes before nodding, satisfied. She checked her watch again, expecting him to be late as usual. 

“Alright, Evans?” James’ voice sounded from the wall next to the portrait hole. She had walked right by, not even noticing him standing there; leaning against the stone. He smirked at her, his hand sinking into his already messy hair to muss it up further. He always looked forward to prefect duty with Evans, getting the chance to flirt with her. Even if it often ended up with him being yelled at, or even jinxed occasionally. 

“James.” Lily spun around to look at him, surprised by the noise. “I didn’t expect you to be so… Punctual.” She raised an eyebrow before smiling softly. “Well, come on then. We’ve got a job to do…” She turned her back on him and proceeded along the walkway to start descending the stairs. Lily moved her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, something she had noticed she only did when she was nervous. It was also something she had been trying to stop herself doing, so she scowled slightly before carrying on. 

His eyebrow quirked up when she called him James, not her usual act of snapping ‘Potter’ in his direction. And then she’d smiled at him... What in the name of Merlin was up with Evans today? Well, she seemed to be in a good mood, why ruin it so quickly? As she began to walk away from him, he kicked off the wall with his foot and followed, his strides long enough to catch up pretty quickly. When he fell into step beside her, he spotted the scowl on her face. “What’s up, Evans? You seemed almost happy a few moments ago.”

Lily shook her head and looked across at him. “Sorry, I’m good. Just thinking about things…” She brushed her hair out of her face again. “I’ve been in the library, first time this term that I’m all caught up with my homework. Which means I might actually drag myself down to Hogsmeade this weekend…” She looked over at James and quickly turned away.  _ Why the hell am I being nice to James Potter?  _ She thought to herself.

James was pretty taken aback. Lily Evans was talking to him in a normal manner, like they were friends... He stared at her in shock for a brief moment before shaking himself back to reality. Blinking and clearing his throat slightly, he smiled back at her warmly. “Hogsmeade?” He was tempted to ask her to go with him for the hundredth time, but somehow he just knew it wasn’t a good idea. Asking her out like that would just ruin the moment, and he was rather fond of this being-nice-to-him version of Lily Evans.

Lily continued to walk them down the stairs towards the Great Hall, they were yet to see any students out of their common rooms. “Yeah… It’s Dorcas’ birthday, so I think we were all going to get ice cream. Did Remus not say? I thought he was invited.” Lily said with a small shrug. “Not that she would want you guys to know… So I probably shouldn’t have said that…” She groaned slightly and pulled her bag higher on her shoulder and folded her arms over her chest. “Anyway… You seem in a good mood. Did you prank a whole bunch of first years or something, Potter?”

James put his hand to his chest and gave her a look of mock offense. “Is that what you think of me, Evans? Me, who has never even stepped a toe out of line at this school, pranking innocent first years? How could you?” He winked at her, stepping just a little closer as they continued their patrol down the corridors of the school. “It was actually some third years, thank you very much! And don’t worry that you’ve told me, you can put yourself at ease knowing Remus already lectured me and Sirius that we are not to intrude on the festivities.”

“Oh yeah, thirds years are so much better. Just being mean to a bunch of thirteen year olds when you are what, nearly seventeen, James?” She said and rolled her eyes at him. “Good, at least you have someone sensible in your group to keep you all in line.” She said walking out to the front doors and making her way outside. Technically they weren’t meant to patrol outside, but Lily always loved the grounds when they were empty, and there had to be some perks to being a prefect. 

“Just joking, Evans! No pranks on unsuspecting and undeserving victims, I promise! Seriously, when was the last time you saw me do a prank?” He grinned at her, knowing fully well he had not pulled a prank in a long time, no matter how much Sirius had complained at him. He knew he had to grow up to be seen by Evans in a different light, and if this conversation was any indication, it was working. “Looking for a stroll in the sunshine, are we?” He smirked as they walked outside. 

“Best be…” She said rolling her eyes at him. “Honestly I’m not sure. I keep seeing Remus making you all study, which is a rather refreshing improvement. But don’t take that as a compliment to you, it’s one to Remus.” She walked out into the middle of the courtyard, “It’s not exactly sunshine anymore…” She said looking up at the evening sky that was slowly growing dark. “What are you going to do? Tell on me?” She sat down on the edge of the fountain in the middle while looking back at James.

He let out a small laugh, standing beside her with his hands in his pockets. “That’ll be the day! James Potter goes to McGonagall to tell on Lily Evans for rule breaking. Don’t you think the world would collapse?” He grinned, leaning against a stone eagle at the corner of the fountain. It was a nice evening, the setting sun was casting a glow that really brought out the red in Lily’s hair. She looked almost heavenly in the light. Not that he would tell her that right now.

“Yeah, no one would believe you.” She smirked, letting her hand rest with her fingertips brushing the water. She looked over at James, he’d been calmer the last few months. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t always shouting some kind of chat up line at her from afar, or that he saw one of the most vulnerable moments of her life, but he was definitely calmer. “I just want to try and make the most of it, we’ve only got one more year after this… I don’t want to forget this place, I don’t want to forget one moment…” She said, looking back down at the water. 

James sank his hand into his hair as she spoke, looking at her in surprise. Never did he think he would witness Lily Evans opening up, especially not to him. Trying hard not to push his luck, he sat down next to her on the edge of the fountain. “I know what you mean… I know I’m not like you, I’ve always known the wizarding world. But Hogwarts has been such a different experience, so amazing and… Well, a chance to get away from the ‘Potter’ family name… Be myself, make my own friends… And… And find out what I love.” He blushed slightly, looking down at his feet. “Or something like that, I guess…”

Lily listened to him with a soft smile, she moved and pulled her leg up to her chest as she looked over at him. “Hogwarts will always be a place I love, it’s told me so much about myself and allowed me to meet some… great people.” She smiled and used the moment of him looking down to let her eyes skate over him. “James Potter, getting all emotional over Hogwarts. I didn’t think I would see the day.” She smiled before flicking water at him. 

James raised his eyebrows at her, a mischievous grin on his lips. “Oh, Evans. You do  _ not  _ want to start a water fight with me.” He tried to ignore the comment about getting emotional, he hadn’t really meant for it to happen. And for some reason, after everything that had occurred between the two of them, he found her incredibly easy to talk to. Maybe it was just because she was actually allowing him to talk to her for once, rather than walking away or finding a method of shutting him up.

“Do I not?” She smirked, taking her bag off and dropping it onto the floor. She leant her weight onto her knee and reached forward cupping her hand and throwing more water at him. “What are you going to do about it, Potter?” She smiled at him with a wicked look in her eyes. 

“Oh… It is on.” He growled slightly, a wild glint in his eyes as he looked down at his water splattered shirt. Grabbing his wand from his pocket, he pointed it at the fountain, and then at Lily. In a flash, a stream of water soared up and fell over Lily, almost as if Peeves had dropped a water balloon on her head. He laughed in pride as he drenched her. “Don’t blame me for this, Evans! This was your fault, you tempted fate!”

Lily gasped as the water covered her. “You bastard!” She gasped, brushing her wet hair out of her face. She reached around and pulled her wand out of her robes, pointing it straight at him, “Aguamenti.” A jet of clean water poured out of the tip of her wand, drenching him as well. “Is this what you call fate?” She said, standing up on the edge of the fountain starting to move away so he couldn’t get her again.

James laughed as she shrieked at him, not even surprised when she soaked him in return. He simply pushed his sopping hair aside, rubbed some droplets off of his glasses then stepped closer. Non-verbally casting a cushioning charm on the bottom of the fountain so that she wouldn’t get hurt, he pushed her backwards, resulting in her toppling into the water. “No I’d call  _ that  _ fate, Evans.”

Lily gasped, feeling herself being pushed and braced herself for impact. When she hit the bottom with a soft bounce, she sat up gasping for air. “I hate you sometimes.” She said as she sat on the fountain's base and brushed the wet hair out of her face again. She reached forward, grabbing his school tie that was dangling over the water and pulled him in next to her. 

He was so busy laughing joyously at the sight of her sitting there in the water that he dropped his guard. Before he knew what was happening, he was being tugged, falling beside her. He sprawled against the stone at the base of the fountain. He stared at her agape, quite in disbelief that  _ Lily Evans  _ had actually done that. Especially prefect Lily Evans. He spluttered, completely lost for words as he stared at her. 

Lily laughed seeing James covered in water, she giggled still holding his tie in her hand. “Underestimated me, did you, Potter?” She said with a raised eyebrow, she was so close to him now she could feel his breath on her cheek. She looked over his face, the smile not dropping for a second. He smelt of way too much cologne, but damn, did it smell good. She found her eyes flitting down to his lips, a small thought in the back of her mind conjured up the idea of them kissing hers.

“Potter, Evans. What on earth do you think you are doing?” The voice of Professor McGonagall echoed around the courtyard and Lily jumped out of her skin. She moved back so she was sitting back on the edge of the fountain, her hand dropping James’ tie instantly, leaving him in the water. 

James' breath caught in his throat when Lily’s eyes dropped to his lips, his heart practically skipping a beat. Was- was she about to kiss him? He was just gathering up the courage to cup her cheek with his hand when the shrill cry he had come to know very well pierced the air.  _ Shit.  _ His heart sank when Lily pushed herself away from him, her sweet scent vanishing from the air. Meekly, he turned to look at his Head of House, no excuse prepared. “Professor, I-... We- We were just-”

“Just what, Potter?” McGonagall said curtly, her eyes piercing into him. “I could have expected this of you, but Miss Evans… It’s safe to say that this is a shock.”

Lily had turned a violent shade of red, she quickly climbed out of the fountain and stood with her arms wrapped around herself. “Professor McGonagall… It was my fault. I wanted to go outside, I’d spent the whole day in the library and just needed fresh air and I fell in… James was just trying to help and we were just a bit clumsy. It won't ever happen again…” She said keeping her eyes off James. “I’m really sorry…” She said quietly, not used to being told off by a teacher, let alone her Head of House. 

James' jaw dropped. Lily Evans, taking the blame. And outright lying to a teacher like that. He couldn’t help but stare at her, gobsmacked and ever so slightly proud. Professor McGonagall didn’t seem impressed, but did appear to believe Lily’s tale. “I’m very disappointed in the pair of you. Detention, this Saturday. All day, both of you. Now get dried up and get to bed.”

Lily grimaced hearing what Professor McGonagall said but nodded in response. She moved around quickly, picking up her bag off the floor and hurried back to the main doors of the castle. She left it open, allowing James to follow but walked quickly towards the common room. The entire way, she kept her head down and didn’t slow her pace to let James catch up. 

“Evans!” James called after her as she walked off quickly. “Hey, Evans!” He didn’t look back at Professor McGonagall as he broke into a jog to try and catch up with her as she made her way back into the castle. He felt a strange sense of deja vu as he ran after her, reminiscing of all of the times he had yelled at her and ran after her. But this time wasn’t out of humour, or to ask her out. He wanted to talk about it, talk about that split second before McGonagall had interrupted them. In good conscience, he couldn’t let it go.

“What, Potter?” She snapped, turning around standing at a higher point on the stairs than him. “What do you want?” She scowled, wiping her face with her hands, getting more of the water off. “I’m not really in the mood to talk right now. Especially when I now get to tell Dorcas that I’m going to miss her birthday, because thank Merlin I got my first detention since starting at this place.” She snapped at him, looking down at him.

“I-” He was slightly shell-shocked. Gone was the peaceful and happy Lily Evans. He sighed softly, looking up at her. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m so sorry I’ve landed you in detention, especially on your friend’s birthday. It all got completely out of hand but- Well, it was good there. For a moment. And, well… I thought that…” His hand scratched the back of his neck, ruffling up the hair there nervously as his voice trailed off.

“You thought what, James? Thought you’d finally broken through after all these years. Don’t get your hopes up.” She spat, turning her back on him and continued to make her way up the stairs. She hid her face from him, allowing tears to run down her cheeks. “Stupid.” She muttered to herself. She was stupid for letting her barriers down, stupid for messing around, just stupid. She made her way to the portrait hole. “Fluxweed.” She said and the Fat Lady looked at her confused. 

“Out for a little swim in the moonlight were we dear?” She quipped with a smirk, then looked over to see James and raised an eyebrow. “Well, I think I owe Sir Cadogan a few galleons.” She said before opening the portrait hole. 

James stared at Lily, his heart breaking a little at her words. But, feeling dejected, he followed her up the stairs.  _ You bloody moron, James.  _ He thought to himself as he climbed the steps up to the portrait hole.  _ You really buggered that up, didn’t you?  _ He didn’t even listen to what the Fat Lady had to say to the pair of them, instead just standing there sadly, waiting for Lily to enter the Common Room. 

Lily sighed, climbing in through the portrait hole and rushed straight up the stairs with a huff. She didn’t look back at James and went straight to her dormitory, slamming the door behind her. 

“Don’t tell me…” Remus said softly from an armchair by the fire. “You asked her out again and she fed you to the giant squid.” He said, closing his book to look over at James. 

“Don’t…” James muttered, falling into another armchair by Remus. He groaned, pressing his face into his hands. He was still sopping wet, but he really couldn’t care less at this point. He’d had a chance, the briefest of chances with the girl he’d been in love with for years and he had to go and ruin it by taking it too far. “We- I- I was so close, Moony. She- Merlin’s beard…”

Remus pulled out his wand from his jacket and pointed it at James, drying off his clothes. “I’m sure you were, Prongs. But you can’t push her, you know that. She’s more hot headed than Padfoot and that’s saying a lot. You should get an early night and sleep it off.” He said with a small shrug. 

“She spoke to me like she speaks to you, Moony! And… Oh, it’s pointless now.” He muttered, not even noticing that Remus had dried him off. “I landed us both in detention for Saturday, so she’s going to miss Dorcas’ birthday in Hogsmeade. It was stupid, but we were getting along and actually having fun and then- I was  _ this  _ close to kissing her.” He held his fingers up, his thumb and index finger almost touching. He sighed deeply, letting his hand fall back to his lap and he sank down sadly in the armchair.

“Well why don’t you sneak her into Hogsmeade after detention? I know they always say it’ll be for the whole day, but really it’s only until whichever teacher you get grows bored and wants to enjoy their weekend. So you’ll probably be out just after lunch. You could sneak in through the one-eyed witch and then we could all meet up for ice cream.” Remus said, opening his book again, turning the pages. 

James pondered what Remus had said for a fair while, staring into the fire. He suddenly realised he hadn’t spoken for quite a while and flushed slightly. “That’s- That’s actually not a bad idea. Provided she doesn’t murder me or report me for sneaking out of the castle…” He messed up his hair, finally realising it was dry. “Did you do that? Or have I been zoned out for so long I dried naturally?”

Remus rolled his eyes, standing up and closed his book. He walked over to James and grabbed him by the elbow, leading him up to their dormitory. “Go to bed, James.” He said with a roll of his eyes as he made his way to his own bed and closed the curtains around him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hello, hope you enjoyed this first chapter. We are aware that James Potter was not a prefect... But it worked better for what we had in mind so we made him one, sorry it diverges from the canon, we have played with the canon a tiny bit, but it is still pretty canon compliant)


	2. Chapter 2

Lily walked down into the common room with Marlene and Dorcas in tow. “I still can’t believe you got detention, perfect Lily in detention. I can’t cope with it.” Marlene said loudly. 

“It wasn’t exactly my fault. James pushed me in, I just covered for him.” Lily said, holding her books to her chest as she walked.

“Standing up for James Potter. Damn, Lily you are growing soft.” Dorcas said with a small giggle. “It still sucks that you are going to miss my birthday.” She said sadly. 

“I’m not going soft! Come on, Potter’s always in trouble, thought I’d best stop him from being expelled. We can’t leave Remus stuck with only us girls…” Lily said as she walked through the portrait hole and down to lunch.

\---

James was still melancholy as Saturday found its way to Hogwarts, a scowl almost permanently etched on his features as he mooched around the castle. Sirius couldn’t stand it and had made it his mission to make James laugh, which just irritated him further. Remus had been sympathetic, and Peter had barely even noticed anything was up. James hadn’t seen Lily since the fountain incident, any time he had even gotten close to possibly catching her eye, she’d darted away from him. She couldn’t avoid him today though, detention meant a long time in each other’s company. Usually James would be ecstatic, but he just wanted to get it over and done with instead.

Lily arrived early to detention, she had gone down to breakfast at about six am trying to miss out on the crowds and seeing her friends leave for Hogsmeade. She had then made her way to the library to hide out and then sat outside McGongall’s classroom waiting for the teacher to arrive. 

James slouched down the corridor, scuffing his feet against the carpeted hallway. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his robes and he hadn’t even tried to make his hair look intentionally messy. He groaned when he saw red hair outside of the classroom. He had wanted to get there before her in order to gather his thoughts. But of course, punctual as always, Lily had made it there first. He walked over to her, keeping his head down. “Hey.” He said softly, the sadness evident in his voice.

Lily looked up hearing footsteps coming down the corridor. She saw James and quickly looked back down at her hands. “Hi…” She said quietly. As he arrived near her, the door opened and Professor McGonagall stood in front of them. She looked from James to Lily and a small smile tugged at her lips, but was gone before the two looked up at her. 

“Right, I have an easy enough task for you both, which is probably better for you as most of my difficult jobs were completed last week by Mr Black.” She said, her eyes flicking to James. She indicated for them to come in and pointed over to a pile of cages in the corner of the room. “They need cleaning, deep cleaning. No magic necessary. By hand. The quicker you get it done, the quicker you can go and enjoy the sun.” She said and moved to sit at her desk at the head of the room. She flicked her wand and a record player started playing from the corner. McGonagall started to do paperwork, ignoring the two students. 

James just nodded at McGonagall and made his way over to the cages. They were caked in grime, absolutely horrid looking. Used to having to perform tasks like this thanks to the countless detentions he had served in this castle, he lowered himself to sit on the floor, pulling a cage towards him. He looked back at Lily, to see she hadn’t moved yet. “Come on, Evans. You heard Professor McGonagall.”

Lily nodded, moving over to sit with James. She grimaced looking at the caked on dirt. She picked up one of the brushes and grabbed one of the cages. Making a point of not looking at James, she started work on the first cage, keeping at least two cages between them. The music echoed through the classroom and she found herself swaying to the tunes as she cleaned. 

Unable to help himself, James smiled when Lily started swaying to the music as they worked; he found it helplessly adorable. He also couldn’t help it swaying with her, even humming softly along to the music. The job was horrible and difficult and it was a beautifully sunny day outside. But sitting on the floor with Lily Evans, moving to music… It wasn’t the worst detention he’d ever had. It may well have been the best.

Lily found as the morning moved on she was getting quicker at getting the worst of the dirt off, she had opted to take her jumper off and had rolled the sleeves up of her shirt so she could really get dug in to the cleaning. She couldn’t help but smile, her eyes flicking to James when he began humming to a certain piece of music, she really enjoyed the fact that he knew some of the songs. If James would look up at her, she would quickly look away, concentrating on the task at hand. 

James could feel Lily’s eyes on him, and he knew that if he looked at her, she’d look away. So smirking slightly, he kept his eyes on the cage he was cleaning and starting to quietly sing along to the music. It was a song his mother loved, one she listened to on repeat which meant James ended up knowing all of the words. He didn’t think he was a bad singer, and he wasn’t really trying so he wasn’t too bothered if he sounded good or bad. He just wanted Lily to keep looking at him the way he could tell she was.

As James started to sing, Lily could feel her heart in her throat. He was singing, James Potter was singing in front of her and she was enjoying it. Lily made sure she positioned her body so she wasn’t facing him, unable to hide the fact that she was blushing. Lily basically held her breath as he sang, making sure she could hear every note, every word. 

“Wonderful.” McGonagall said suddenly from her position behind her desk. She waved her wand and the record player stopped. Another wave, and all the cages in front of the two students flew up and hung themselves on the walls. “I have one more job for you before I leave you to enjoy your weekend.” She said, standing up. She walked over to them with a roll of parchment outstretched. “Deliver this to Professor Sprout and your punishment will be over.” She handed Lily the note before nodding to them both. “You are both prefects, the younger students look up to you. Make sure I don’t find you both canoodling in the fountain again, otherwise your prefect privileges will be taken away.” She turned her back to them and walked back over to her desk. 

James looked at Lily, shrugging slightly as Professor McGonagall turned away. “Not the worst task in the world. Lets go.” He held the door open for her so she could exit the classroom, following her out. “Thank you, Professor!” He called behind him, knowing that McGonagall would probably roll her eyes but then smile like she usually did when he or Sirius teased her like that. He kept in step with Lily as they walked down the corridor, not wanting to leave her side just yet.

Lily was shocked to find herself leaving the classroom, she glanced at her watch to see it was just after twelve. “Does she usually do that? I thought it was meant to be the whole day. I’m not complaining…” Lily rambled nervously as they started to make their way towards the greenhouses. She wrapped her jumper around her waist as they walked and unrolled her sleeves. 

“Ah, young Evans!” James proclaimed, a grin spreading on his face as she struck up a conversation with him. “Have you not heard of mine and Minnie’s torrid affair? I hear it’s all the gossip around the castle.” He had a new spring in his step as they crossed the grass covering the courtyard. He ran his hand through his hair, remembering he hadn’t spent his usual twenty minutes in front of the mirror that morning, artfully crafting the messy look he so loved. 

“Oh, shut up, James.” Lily reached over and pushed his arm lightly. She rolled her eyes and continued walking towards the greenhouses. “I hope Professor Sprout is actually here… I didn’t think of where she would be on a weekend…” Lily mused lightly, looking over at James to see him playing with his hair. “Merlin, do you ever leave it alone? If you continue like that you’ll probably end up bald at the age of thirty.” 

James beamed when she called him by his first name once again, feeling that same sense of light-heartedness that they'd had the other night. "I'm sure she is, I can't imagine Sprout anywhere else  _ but  _ the greenhouses. She always looks out of place at dinner times." He pulled his hand out of his hair when she criticised him, remembering from her outburst in fifth year that she hated how he messed it up. "Bald? With thick luscious locks like these? Evans, you do know my father invented Sleekeazy's right? We Potters are blessed with long lasting good hair." 

“Perfect hair doesn’t last forever, Potter.” She quipped, “Can’t rely on daddy forever.” She kept walking and found her way to the main greenhouses. She knocked on Greenhouse One and heard some scuffling inside. 

“Come in!” A voice called and Lily pulled open the door to find Professor Sprout lying on the floor underneath a table. “Who is it?”

“Lily Evans, I’ve got a note from Professor McGonagall.” Lily said softly and an arm appeared from underneath the table. Lily passed the note to her and waited a moment as the arm disappeared again. 

“Wonderful, thank you, Miss Evans. Now you and Mr Potter run along. Lunch will be over soon.” Professor Sprout said, her voice slightly muffled. 

“Bye, Professor.” James said before taking Lily by the elbow and leading her away from the greenhouses. He knew that Lily was really sad about not being able to see her friends in Hogsmeade, and since they seemed to be getting on again, he decided to take Remus’s advice. “Evans- Uh, Lily… Since detention didn’t take as long as we thought, do you want to go to Hogsmeade? I’m not- I’m not asking you out, I just think we should at least try to get you to Dorcas’ birthday celebration.”

Lily frowned at James, he just called her Lily… She genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he had called her Lily. “J-James it’s a nice idea, but you know Filch only lets people out before midday. If we tried to get out now he’d stop us, probably go and tell McGonagall and then she won't exactly be pleased with us. The sentiment is nice… But it’s fine. I should probably just go back to my room, do some more reading…” She said with a small shrug. 

“You underestimate me, Lily.” He grinned cheekily, leading her back to the castle. He took her to the third floor where the passage to Hogsmeade was hidden. “Honestly, you’ve known me all these years and you didn’t think I’d ever found a secret way into Hogsmeade?” He knew that Lily would probably be mad at him, possibly hit or hex him. But he didn’t care, there was the smallest chance she would agree with him, and maybe be grateful enough to start up what had occured in the fountain again. A miniscule chance, but a chance nonetheless.

Lily looked at him curiously as they stood next to the secret passageway. “If we get caught, you are taking the entire blame this time… I am only doing this because I really don’t want to miss Dorcas’ birthday… And you are also buying my ice cream. Got it?” She said and folded her arms looking at him, a small smile pulling at her lips. 

“Got it.” He winked at her before pulling out his wand. Turning to the statue of the one-eyed witch, he tapped it once. “ _ Dissendium.”  _ The witch’s hump slid open. “After you, milady.” James said, sinking into a mock bow, holding his arms out wide to allow Lily to climb inside first.

“I really do hate you sometimes…” Lily said with a smile and an eye roll. She pocketed her wand and climbed up, sliding herself down through the one-eyed witch passageway. She waited for James to follow before they both made their way along, keeping their heads low, “So where does this bring us out?”

“Sometimes?” James grinned at her. “Well, that’s an improvement on all the time.” He climbed into the passageway to land beside her. He knew this pathway well, having walked it more times than he could count over the years. Sharing this with Lily felt special, almost sacred. He hadn't shared this with anyone but his fellow Marauders, and it felt so strange to share it with the girl next to him. But it also felt right. He smiled softly at her when she asked him where they were heading. “Honeydukes cellar. We’ll climb right up and through a trapdoor. And then I’ve got another surprise for you when we get there…” He knew he would have to share the secret of his invisibility cloak with her, so that they wouldn’t get caught by the owners of the shop. He just didn’t know how she would react to him having such a rare artifact. She would probably be mad because he had used it for stupid reasons like sneaking out, and crafting pranks.

Lily continued to walk next to him, she’d always had theories of how the ‘Marauders’ were getting out of the castle, especially when they would show up to post-quidditch parties with an exceptional amount of butterbeer and firewhiskey. “Right, of course you have easy access to Honeydukes…” She rolled her eyes trying not to smile. “I’m really not a surprise kind of girl... “ She said but continued walking until she reached the trap door. “So, what now?” She asked, turning to look at him. 

"I think this might surprise you." He chuckled softly, nudging her with his elbow. Still smiling at her, he pulled his invisibility cloak out of his pocket. "A family heirloom."

“You have got to be kidding me!” Lily exclaimed and rolled her eyes. “Well that was one thing Snape got right about you, he’s been telling me for years that you lot had an invisibility cloak.” She sighed and bit her lip for a moment. “I could turn you in so damn easily…” She said before reaching her hand out to him to help open out the cloak. 

"Ah, but you're committing the crime with me this time, Evans." James grinned, throwing the cloak over the two of them. He couldn't help but notice how close the two of them had to stand to be able to fit under the cloak, he wasn't exactly short anymore. Carefully, he pushed up the trapdoor, sighing in relief when the cellar was empty. "Alright, let's go."

Lily used the excuse of being close to him to lightly elbow him in the stomach. “They wouldn’t believe you anyway. She stayed close to him as they made their way into the cellar. She followed James’ lead and made sure they weren’t going to knock into anything. There was a loud noise in front of them and she quickly reached out grabbing James’ hand to stop him from walking into someone. 

James caught a gasp in his throat before it escaped him as Lily's hand slipped into his own. He realised what she was doing and stopped in his tracks, watching as the door to the cellar opened and one of the owners walked in. Slowly, he walked the pair of them back so they were pressed against a wall, holding his breath so as to not make a sound.

Lily kept close to James, waiting for the person to walk away from them. She watched as he made his way to the back of the room, searching for something on the shelves. “Come on.” She whispered in James’ ear. Keeping a hold of his hand, she dragged him to the stairs and together they quickly made their way out through the door that had been left ajar. 

James licked his lips nervously. She was  _ still  _ holding his hand, when she didn't need to anymore. Really, she hadn't needed to hold it in the first place. But something felt right about her hand in his. Together they walked through the sweet shop, dodging past customers until they made it out into Hogsmeade. Pulling Lily down the alley beside Honeydukes, he checked that the coast was clear before taking off the cloak. 

Lily started to giggle as soon as he took the cloak off, “I think that’s the most rule breaking thing I’ve ever done…” She laughed. “Also your hair looks dreadful.” She said, indicating to him with a nod of her head.

James grinned back at her as she giggled, finding it hopelessly cute. "Lily Evans, gets to sixth year and becomes the biggest rule breaker of us all." He blushed when she indicated to his hair, using his one free hand to mess it up to its usual standard.

“Maybe that’s it… Maybe I’ll become the pain in your side.” She smirked at him and then went to move her own hand after realising it was still in his. She quickly let go, folding her arms in front of her again. “Umm… So we should go and find the others… Don’t want to miss much more of Dorcas’ birthday…” She said with a small smile, her face was slightly more pink than it had been a few moments before.

His heart broke slightly when Lily pulled her hand away from his. He'd grown accustomed to feeling it in his own. Feeling slightly awkward, he shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet slightly. "Right, yeah. So long as you don't mind me tagging along..?"

“You did get me here, and you are going to buy me ice cream… So I guess you’ll have to tag along…” She smirked and nudged him with her shoulder. “Come on…” She said and exited the alleyway with him. As they walked along, she turned to him. “To be honest, Sirius will probably be with them, him and Marlene seem to be unable to be somewhere without having a debate that turns into a screaming match…” She said with a small shrug. 

James beamed when she seemed quite happy to have him come with her. He also noticed that she was walking a lot closer to him as they made their way through Hogsmeade. He laughed at her comment about Sirius and Marlene. "Ah, remember when that used to be us? Memories…" He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

“Oh, shut up.” She said and pushed him away. She turned her face away from him and scrunched her features up.  _ Merlin, Lily, stop touching him.  _ “I’m pretty sure they fight because of pent up sexual tension… Do you know if those two are a thing yet? Because she won't tell us anything…” She said softly making their way towards the Three Broomsticks. 

"Well, Padfoot isn't one to kiss and tell…" He chuckled as he spoke, grinning at her. "Who am I kidding? Not you right?" He couldn't stop smiling.  _ Remus is a genius _ . He thought. It really was almost like they were finally on the date he had been asking for since third year. "They've been hooking up and shagging for over a year."

“That lying…” Lily huffed and scowled. “She is so dead.” Lily rolled her eyes at him before making her way to the door. “I’m assuming they’ll be in here…” She said. Opening the door and walking into the pub, she spotted the group straight away and headed over. “Happy Birthday!” She exclaimed, seeing Dorcas who stood up and pulled her into a hug. 

“How did you get here?” Dorcas asked, looking over her, Lily smiled and looked behind her at James. 

“We finished Detention early and James managed to sneak us out…” She said back at Dorcas. 

"James?" Dorcas raised her eyebrow at Lily, her eyes flicking to the boy her friend had walked in with. She lowered her voice so Potter wouldn't hear. "I thought you were mad at him for landing you in detention in the first place, and now you're waltzing in here together, on a first name basis? Does Miss Lily have a slight crush?" 

James watched as Dorcas pulled Lily away from him and sighed slightly, spotting Remus with the group. Grateful for his friend, he headed over, sad to leave Lily behind.

“Oh, shut up, he just helped me get to your party…” Lily said and moved to sit in a spare seat next to Dorcas. Lily joined in the conversation with the other girls, her eyes flicking to James every so often. 

Remus smiled when he saw James and moved up on the bench. “So you took my advice then? What did McGonagall make you do?” He asked and sipped the hot drink in front of him. 

"Mhmm, sure." Dorcas grinned back at Lily. She looked over at Marlene who was sipping on her drink with a sneaky look in her eyes. "Little Lilykins has finally seen what we've been seeing for years, huh, Dorcy?" Marlene giggled, smirking at Lily.

"Cleaned some cages then took a note to Sprout. She put her music on again so I sang along. Evans seemed to appreciate that." James grinned at Remus, leaning back in his chair. He felt so much more at ease now that Lily was talking to him again. 

“You two need to shut up. Right now.” Lily said, kicking Marlene from under the table. “Right, please tell me I did not miss the Honeydukes part of this trip because… Potter owes me ice cream for saving his arse.” Lily said scowling at Marlene. 

“Ahh, not too bad then…” Remus shrugged, finishing his hot chocolate. “So you decided to serenade her rather than yell chat up lines from far away. Wow, maybe you do actually listen to me…”

"No you haven't missed Honeydukes." Dorcas laughed softly while Marlene screamed with laughter. She definitely drew a few eyes, but Marlene wasn't the type to care much when she gathered a crowd. "Nice way to change to subject, Lil." Dorcas said, nudging Lily. "You won't treat me with a little gossip on my birthday, then?"

"Oh shut up, Moony." James blushed, scratching the back of his hand uncomfortably. "I didn't think it would actually work. She didn't even get mad about the passageway or the cloak. Something's changed with her, and it's weird. But I won't complain!"

“There is no gossip.” Lily said at Dorcas before standing up. “Right, come on, I want some sweets.” She said to everyone else on the table. Dorcas stood up with her and grabbed her bag off the table. 

When everyone started getting ready to leave, James looked at Remus and shrugged before also getting up. He looked over to see Lily surrounded by her friends, dejecting him quite a bit. "Now I'm going to be forced to buy an ice cream it seems."

“So Marlene? Where’s Sirius?” Lily quipped as they headed out of the pub and out into the cold street. 

“Are you still on that?” Marlene groaned, walking further ahead of Lily with her arm linked with Dorcas’. 

Lily hung back slightly and waited for Remus and James to catch up. “Come on, Remus, I thought you’d be the first one to be in there. Didn’t Sirius eat your whole chocolate stash last week?”

"I'm making the bastard buy me more." Remus grinned back at Lily, him and James falling into step with her. He made sure that James was stood beside her. He was nothing if not a good wingman.

"So, Evans," James started, smiling at Lily. "What ice cream flavour takes your fancy? I have a feeling you're a…" He pretended to ponder it for a moment. "A strawberry kind of girl?"

“Well, now I know how he’d go about that.” She raised an eyebrow to them both before taking her jumper from around her waist and pulling it over her head. “Potter, why does everything you say sound like a chat up line?” Lily looked forward to the girls in front of her. “But yeah… Strawberry is my favourite…”

James grinned proudly, he hadn't expected to actually be correct. He really wanted to just sling his arm over her shoulders and tug her close, but he also didn't want a kick in the nuts. So instead he ruffled his hair. "I could tell, cause strawberries are sweet. Like you." He winked at her, despite it being the  _ cheesiest  _ line ever. 

“And we are done…” Lily groaned, she started walking faster to catch up with the other girls leaving James and Remus on their own. 

“Oh, James… Will you ever learn?” Remus quipped.

"Can't help it, Moony." James replied absentmindedly, gazing forlornly after her. "At least she didn't punch me or hex me." He looked back at his friend, shrugging slightly. 

“Trouble in paradise.” Marlene observed, her arm around Dorcas’ shoulders. 

“Will you lot shut up?” Lily groaned, letting her hair fall into her face. “There is nothing going on with me and James. He’s not acting like a complete arrogant arse at the moment, so I’m tolerating him… That’s all. He’s being friendly. I’m not suddenly going to turn around and want to bone him!” Lily snapped at them and Dorcas burst out laughing. 

“Bone him?!” Marlene exclaimed, her mouth open at Lily. 

“Well, you are the one who is boning Sirius, so you can’t exactly talk.” Lily quipped back.

“Potter?!” Marlene spun around with anger in her eyes to look at James.

James' eyebrows raised in surprise when Lily's friend spun on her heel, eyes blazing. "Uh oh." Remus muttered beside him. James raised his hands up in surrender, fearing for his safety. Everyone knew Marlene could hex someone into oblivion without batting an eyelid. "McKinnon, I-" 

Marlene pulled out her wand, aiming it at James. Lily quickly stood in front of her. “Come on, Marls, that was my fault. I got it out of him. Not his fault.” She said quickly, holding her hands up in front of her. 

Marlene rolled her eyes, but lowered her wand. "I would've done it, Lil. But it's you. So I won't."

James meanwhile just stared in shock. That was  _ twice _ now that Lily Evans had defended him. His jaw was literally dropped and he could hear Remus chuckling beside him.

“Don’t get any ideas…” She said to Marlene before walking to the door of Honeydukes. She made her way inside and started looking at all the sweets and treats. 

"What in Merlin's name just happened?" James breathed to Remus, pushing his glasses back up his nose and shaking his head. The two boys followed Lily and her friends into Honeydukes, completely at a loss for words.

"Girls." Remus replied, shaking his head and chuckling.

“I’m not telling you how you are feeling…” Dorcas said from the other side of a shelf of sweets. “But you are falling for that boy…” She dropped her voice, with a small smile at Lily. 

Lily closed her eyes. “Dore…” 

“I’m not pressuring you…” She explained with a grin, “Just something to think about…”

James made his way over to where the shop was selling ice cream, pulling his coin pouch out of his pocket. "A cone of strawberry, please." He said to the man behind the counter, handing him the money in return for the ice cream. "Cheers, mate." 

He walked over to Lily, tapping her on the shoulder. "An ice cream, milady." He held the cone out to her, bowing deeply again.

Lily looked over to see James next to her with an ice cream. She smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Thank you…” She took the ice cream and licked it. “You didn’t actually have to get me an ice cream…”

"You defended me twice when you didn't have to, and outright lied to a teacher." James chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I felt obligated to." He smiled warmly, gazing at her.

“Don’t get used to it…” She said with a small laugh. “But thank you… This is nice.” She smiled, continuing to eat the ice cream as they all had a look around the shop.

James stuck by her side as the group perused the sweet shop, not buying anything himself but making small suggestions of things Lily might like to purchase. "Oh, I love those!" 

Lily smiled, listening to James make recommendations, “Oh you do, do you?” She said, picking up the packet of pepper imps and adding it to the small stash of sweets she was going to buy. 

"Yeah! They're like taking a small dose of pepper up potion, it’s great! Plus, it's always fun when steam comes out of your ears." He laughed joyfully. She had taken on board so many of his suggestions, and didn’t seem bothered at all that he was hanging around with her more than Remus. He did feel a little bad for deserting his friend, but Remus seemed fairly content looking at chocolate bars. 

“You are such a strange man sometimes.” Lily giggled, and looked up when a floating balloon came over with a small dish underneath. A small sign read  _ free samples _ and Lily smiled, taking one of the sweets. She popped it in her mouth and suddenly her hair changed to a vibrant pink. 

James was far too preoccupied with picking out his own sweet to notice the effect it had on Lily until he put it in his mouth. His eyes widened when he saw her bright pink hair, terrified the same had happened to him. But then his nose started whistling like a kettle.

Lily watched James and just started laughing. She laughed so much that she actually dropped the sweets she’d been carrying in her arms to hold onto the shelf next to her. Marlene and Dorcas came around one corner and Remus around another, they all looked at James and started laughing.

“Is this the effect of you being nice?” Remus said to Lily, who couldn’t stop giggling. 

James shrugged, not taking his eyes off Lily for a second. "I don't get what's so funny. I would assume someone should make a cup of tea since evidently the water is boiled." He grinned, gesturing to his nose.

“You’re an idiot.” She laughed, picking up the sweets that she had dropped. 

“Come on, let’s pay for this and get up to the castle, dinner is starting soon and I am dying for some kind of pastry.” Marlene said, heading towards the counter. Lily took another glance at James before following. 

James couldn't help but grin at the fact that he had been able to make her laugh like that. When the group left Honeydukes and began to head back to the castle, James continued to stick by Lily's side.

Lily slowed down so it was just her and James walking at the back of the group. She watched the others walk together and swung her paper bag full of sweets in her hand. “Today has been fun. You made my first detention not the worst experience in the world…” She said softly and reached into the bag, pulling out the pepper imps. “This is for you.”

"What, really?" James looked at her in surprise, and pretty touched that she had actually bought them for him. "Thank you, Lily. And really, it was no bother. As I said, Minnie loves me. So detention is never really that bad when she's in charge of it. I'm just sorry you ended up in detention in the first place."

“Well, I’m glad I got stuck in detention with you then.” She smiled a small blush coming to her cheeks. “Yeah… Well, technically it was my fault we were in the fountain in the first place. I shouldn’t have convinced you to go outside, I knew we weren’t meant to…” 

"Lily, I'm nothing if not up for a little adventure and rule breaking." James grinned back at her, clutching the box of Pepper Imps, almost as if his life depended on it. Their friends all climbed through the portrait hole, disappearing into the Gryffindor Common Room. But James hung back for just a second, staying in the corridor with Lily. "I don't feel I deserve these, but thank you." And without even thinking about it first, he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

“No worries.” She said, a blush filling her face slowly. “I umm… I should go and put these in my room… I’ll see you in a bit.” She said softly, her hand moving to where he kissed her for a second. Then she turned away from him, following their friends through the portrait hole. 

"Right…" He whispered, watching her leave. Even after she had disappeared into the Common Room, he still stared at where she had been. James didn't even notice when Remus came back through to stand next to him.

"Lily get you those?" James jumped when Remus spoke, completely unaware of his friend's presence.

"Bloody hell, Moony. You sure know how to sneak up on a bloke." He breathed, hand pressed to his heart. "And… Yeah. She did."


	3. Chapter 3

Lily had found herself growing to enjoy her patrols with James, he grew more relaxed over time and she found herself worrying less and less about him asking her out. She had spent her day in the library as usual, only having classes in the morning. As she left the library, she ran into someone she really hadn’t wanted to see. 

“So I hear you and Potter are a thing now.” Snape sneered from his position standing against the wall. 

Lily sighed and held her books tighter to her chest. “No. Me and Potter aren’t a ‘thing’, but also is it any of your business what I do anymore?” She snapped at him, stopping to stand right in front of him. 

“You’re making a mistake. He’s an arse. You’ve seen it with your own eyes, how can you even be around him? He’s a bully.” Snape said, standing up straight. 

“I am aware of that. But people change… You certainly did.” Lily said, turning and walking away from him. Snape quickly moved to catch up with her. 

“I said I’m sorry. I know I can’t get you to forgive me. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop looking out for you. You’re still my best friend.” Snape said and jumped as Lily suddenly stopped. 

“No Severus, I’m not. James might be an arrogant arse who’s too self obsessed to realise the bigger problem, but at least he isn’t a racist. He isn’t planning on joining Voldemort, he doesn’t want to torture people or kill innocents. But of course, that’s not your life plan is it? Just the life plan of the people you associate with. That makes you so much better, right?” Lily snapped at him, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Lily, I-” He started. 

“Don’t ‘Lily’ me, you lost that right. I don’t need you checking up on me. I don’t need you anymore.” She snapped at him before turning away, this time leaving Snape standing alone in the middle of the corridor. 

Lily made her way up to their usual meeting spot, shoving her books in her bag. She stood leaning on the edge of the banister, looking down at the moving staircase. 

James was a little late, but he and Lily were on such good terms at the moment that he didn't expect that she would be too mad at him. He smiled brightly as he made his way to the meeting point, his grin widening when he spotted her waiting for him.

"Hey, Lily!" He said warmly, sauntering up to her happily. When he'd made the change to calling her by her first name he wasn't certain, probably around the same time she'd started calling him James. But he really liked saying the name 'Lily'. He didn't stop beaming until he saw her face, and noticed how sad she looked. "Hey… What's wrong, Lil?"

“Nothing… I’m fine.” She forced a smile on her face. She turned to start their walk like she usually does. “Sorry… Long day at the library. I think I’m just a bit tired today.” She gave him an excuse, knocking her shoulder into him with a genuine smile. 

James gave her a sceptical look, not properly believing her. But he wouldn’t push, if she didn’t want to tell him, he wouldn't force her. His eyes kept glancing down at her hand that was swinging by her side, remembering how good it felt to hold. "Want to take this patrol a little easy? We can skip a few areas, no one would know." He winked at her cheekily. 

“It’s fine James. Really it is.” She said with a small shrug. “You’ve made me break enough rules these last few weeks. I’m not skipping bits.” She giggled, brushing against him again. As they walked Lily felt her hand brush against his, she bit her lip thinking about the conversation she had earlier and moved to take his hand in hers. “So, what have you been up to today?” She asked as if it was the most casual thing in the world. 

James felt his chest tighten when she held his hand, blinking at her in surprise. It took him a moment to register that she had asked him a question, clearing his throat once he understood. “Oh, well... Had lessons this morning, which you know since you were there. Pads and I snuck into the kitchens and managed to convince the House Elves to sneak a sneezing solution in some of the Slytherins’ food.” He chuckled to himself at the prank, he hadn’t pulled one in a while. But then he realised  _ who  _ he had just said that to, and would have given anything to take it back.

Lily listened to what he said and nodded with a small smile. “Good. I hope Snape had some. Wouldn’t want him to have a good day.” She muttered, and frowned to herself with a sigh. “Sorry, never mind. You shouldn’t do that is what I should have said… Maybe you’re just becoming a bad influence on me…” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Did he- Has he done something to you?” He stopped still as they were walking, his eyebrows furrowed. “Because if he did…” Anger swirled through him, hatred and loathing for Severus bloody Snape filling his every sense. “That little snake. Merlin, I’ll hex him into oblivion.”

Lily stopped as he stopped, she turned around and saw him ranting about Snape. “James-” She tried to interject. “James, please. No it’s fine. He’s just being his general douche self. Nothing bad. I just don’t exactly enjoy seeing him at all..” She moved forward, placing a hand on the side of his face to make him look at her. “I’m fine. As you can see. I’m more than fine.”

“No, Lily,” James said, trying to ignore the effect her hand on his cheek was having. “I’m sorry but he needs to pay for treating you like this. After what I- He’s a snake bastard and you’re the most wonderful person ever. I can’t just stand by while he makes you sad. I can’t.” 

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t make me sad. Mostly he makes me want to chop his bollocks off.” Lily smirked, moving her hand down so it lay on his chest. “No getting ideas, you.” She looked up at him. “I don’t need you to protect me. Don’t worry about that. I’m pretty good at dealing with people myself.” She smiled brightly at him before looking behind him. “James, I’m pretty sure I just saw a student run into that broom closet…” She said with a cheeky smile. 

James licked his lips when her hand slid to his chest. He hadn’t failed to notice that she’d been a little more handsy with him recently, always seeming to find a way to touch him. And boy, did he love it. He leaned his head back and sighed when she told him about the student. “Great… Little shits breaking curfew. Let’s go…” Still holding her hand, he started to head to the broom closet, his other hand on his wand in the pocket of his robe.

Lily watched as he turned away from her and headed to the broom closet, she followed keeping hold of his hand and rolled her eyes slightly. She opened the door quickly to show it was empty, turned her back on the room and looked at him with raised eyebrows. She reached forward and grabbed his shirt pulling him into the room. 

“What the-” James started to say when he saw that the room was empty, before being cut off by Lily pulling him into the broom closet. He gasped, overwhelmed when she did it that all he could do for a while after was stare at her with his mouth agape. “Lily, what the hell?”

“You’re a bit slow aren’t you.” She laughed moving forward to close the door behind them. “Don’t exactly want to get caught by McGonagall doing this…” She said reaching up and kissing him. 

James’ eyes widened when she pressed her lips against his, freezing up in shock. Was this really happening? Wow, Lily Evans… Who would have thought she would ever tug him into a broom closet to snog him? Well, he’d certainly fantasised about it before, but never believed the day would ever come to pass. He then became very aware that he wasn’t responding to the kiss. Which he soon rectified by closing his eyes, sinking his hands into her hair and kissing her back.

Lily’s heart was in her throat, she was kissing James Potter in the broom closet, the most cliché thing she could ever do, and here she was doing it. She was surprised by the sudden enthusiasm coming from James, realising he was probably as shocked as she was that this was happening. She felt a tingle along her skin as he moved his hands to her hair and neck and it just made her want him more. She moved forward pressing her body against him so he was pushed up against the wall. Her hands moved down his chest to his hips keeping his body close to hers. 

He groaned softly against her lips, his fingers running through her silky red hair as he kissed her back. He really was letting her lead the kiss, which surprised him. He’d always imagined that if it ever were to actually happen, he would have initiated it. Yet here he was, pressed up against the wall of a broom closet by Lily bloody Evans. It was really like a dream come true. One of his hands moved to her cheek, his thumb softly stroking the skin there, the other staying tangled in her hair.

Lily moved one of her hands up to his hair, she thought if it was her only chance to do it she wanted to be the girl that grabbed James’ hair. Not that she would tell anyone. She brushed her fingers up through into his hair, she kissed him harder, letting her tongue run along his lips. She held his hair tightly, not sure how quickly it would be over.

James gasped into the kiss, shocked by how passionately she was taking this. Not that he would complain. He’d been waiting for this for years. His lips parted and he tugged her impossibly closer, feeling every inch of her body pressed against his. Her hand felt like heaven in his hair, small groans escaping him when she tugged lightly on it. He knew he would have to stop this soon, she would probably kill him if he let it get out of hand.

Lily kissed him once more before pulling her mouth back, her face still close to his, her arms still around him. Her leg was wrapped around his, her hips pressed against him. She tried to steady her breathing as she looked at him, James Potter stood breathless in front of her. She felt her brain suddenly catch up to the rest of herself and she quickly moved back brushing herself down and trying to pat down her hair. “We should urm…” She stumbled over her words and opened the door to leave the broom closet. 

“Yeah…” James breathed, but made no move to exit the closet. His hair was sticking up all over the place, his eyes glazed over slightly. He looked to a tee the definition of fuck-struck. He was just staring at Lily, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Lily walked out of the cupboard and stood in the corridor waiting for him. She ran her tongue along her teeth trying to work out where she was going from here. Her heart was beating so loudly and her hands were shaking. She folded her arms across her chest and turned around to look at him. “We umm… We should probably head back to the common room…”

Wordlessly, James raised his hand up to run it through his hair, shakily stepping out of the cupboard. He’d never been like this after a snogging session before, legs shaky and so shell-shocked he could barely speak. “Wait,” He said, licking his lips as he walked closer to her. “Wh- What was that? What does this mean?”

“It… It means, we don’t want to get caught by McGonagall again…” Lily said with a small shrug. She turned to walk towards the common room and stopped. “Are you okay?” She asked softly.

“Well I-” He started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Lily, you just pulled me into a broom cupboard and snogged the living daylights out of me. You can’t expect me to be a little confused as to what this makes us?” James stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his own. It felt pretty damn good to feel like he could do that without any repercussions. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it because I  _ bloody  _ did. But I just want to know what we… Well, what we are. This changes things.”

Lily frowned, moving her bag higher on her shoulder. “James, we are friends…” She said, moving her hands out of his. “Just friends... It doesn’t have to change things…”

James felt his heart shatter. He’d got his hopes up so high, only for her to shoot him down once again. “Oh. Well, snogging in a broom cupboard doesn’t really seem like a thing  _ friends  _ do…” He knew that he wasn’t hiding how broken he felt, his face was burning with the pain of being shot down like this. “Lily, I- You know how I feel. I’ve never hidden that. I guess I was foolish for thinking that this was something more…” 

“James… Please don’t do this.” Lily said, looking down at her feet. “James, we just became friends. I’m sorry, I messed up… I don’t want to mess us up.” She said and looked over at him. “I messed up, I can’t… I’m sorry.” She said and quickly walked away. 

_ Don’t let her go, Potter,  _ James thought as he watched her walk away. She didn’t want to…  _ Mess us up.  _ That’s what she’d said. “Lily!” He raced after her, catching her by the wrist. “Stop. Don’t run from me, please.” He said it with all the emotion he could muster, pouring everything into his words. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused.”

“James…” She sighed, turning to look at him. “We should be friends…” She said smiling at him. “That whole thing… it doesn’t have to mean anything…” 

“Very well.” He said, feeling dejected, but respecting her wishes. “Friends snog in broom cupboards, right?” James’ natural coping mechanism… Make jokes. He tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Of course he didn’t want to just be friends, but he couldn’t force it. And he certainly didn’t want to go back to how they used to be.

“Yeah… Me and Marlene were in there last week…” Lily said with a small shrug. “I’m really sorry, James…” She said, “I just can’t…” 

“Ok.” James whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear for her. He gazed down at her, fighting with his heart to keep strong for her. He couldn’t help himself. He stepped just that little bit closer and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, before holding his hand out in motion to shake it. “Friends”

“Friends…” She said, reaching out her hand to him and shaking it.

\---

Quidditch season was upon Hogwarts and as Captain of the Gryffindor Team, James had been working hard to make sure his team were up to scratch. He still wasn’t overly confident in his Seeker, not that he’d ever tell the lad that. But he felt that the team had a good chance against Hufflepuff today, especially since he and Lily had been getting along just fine, despite their…  _ moment  _ during prefect duty a few weeks ago.

She was like his good luck charm. She had given his hand a squeeze at breakfast and wished him luck, which had helped to ease his nerves and induce that pre-Quidditch excitement. The team were waiting to be called out to the pitch, sharing in some of their pre-match rituals.

“Right, get together everyone!” He called out, Captain mode taking control. “Hufflepuff has a pretty good team this year, but nothing like us. It’s the final match of the season, so no pressure. But have fun, and let's smash it.” The team cheered in response and together they all walked out onto the pitch. Momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight, James raised his free hand to shade his eyes, attempting to seek out Lily in the stands.

Lily stood with Remus, Sirius, Marlene, Peter and Dorcas on the stands, they had managed to get the prime spot at the front so they could shout abuse at the Hufflepuff team. Sirius had  _ actual _ plans to throw  _ actual _ stuff at the team, but Remus had already shut that one down. 

Lily looked down as the teams walked onto the pitch, she saw James looking up towards the crowd. “Wooo!!! James!!!” She called out and Remus turned to her with an eyebrow raised. “Shut up.” She said and elbowed him. 

James heard her voice and grinned, following the sound. There he saw a flash of red and gold, pinpointing where his group of friends were sitting at the front. He beamed when he saw Lily cheering him on, sporting the house colours. Giddy with joy, James waved enthusiastically at the group before approaching the Hufflepuff captain to shake her hand. At least the Hufflepuffs didn’t crush his bones like the Slytherins…

“Let’s just hope this time he doesn’t break anything… Last time he did that he was a pain in my arse for weeks. It took ten minutes to fix, yet three weeks for his mental state to return.” Remus said, sitting back on the bench as the others joined him. 

“He’ll do great. He always does…” Lily said with a small smile.    
  
“So you snogged him yet?” Remus asked, leaning his head against her shoulder. 

“Shut up, Remus.” Lily said, moving so he couldn’t rest his head.

Remus laughed, watching as James and the rest of the Quidditch players mounted their brooms and took off, flying to their starting positions in the air. “You don’t even need to say yes or no, to be honest, Lily. I saw that boy come back to the dormitory looking all sad but also with  _ extremely  _ messy hair, and lipstick smeared over him. It didn’t take me long to put two and two together.”

“Yeah well…” Lily looked over to see Sirius talking to Marlene. “When are you going to talk to  _ your _ crush?” She raised her eyebrows at Remus. “We’re just friends, thank you. That’s the way it should stay…”

Remus looked at Lily, wide eyed. “Crush? I- I don’t know what you mean…” He looked pretty panicked, staring at her nervously.

“Try me, Lupin.” She scowled at him before looking back at the game. “Right, explain to me again how this stupid game works…”

“You’re evil, Evans.” Remus muttered under his breath, shaking his head. So he’d been foiled… Great.

“Stupid? I take offense to that, Lily.” Came James’ voice. While the game had started, he’d spotted his friends having a conversation and  _ not _ paying  _ any _ attention to his amazing work whilst playing as Chaser. Taking a risk, he had flown over whilst his team mates were taking a penalty shot to berate them, only to find Lily insulting the game he was very much involved in. 

“James Potter, get your arse back out there and play the damn game.” Lily blushed, having been singled out of the entire game. “Maybe if you play a bit better, I’ll understand it a bit better.” She said folding her arms and scowling at him. 

“Oh, it’s one of  _ those  _ moods today, I guess. Am I right, Moony?” James turned to ask Remus, who merely shrugged in response. “I see. Well... Pay attention, Lily Evans,” James winked at her. “Maybe someday I’ll give you a private lesson in Quidditch.” And before she could lunge over the stand to hit him, he zoomed off, catching the Quaffle quickly as he flew back up to the hoops.

“Sirius give me whatever you were planning on throwing.” Lily snapped, but sat down in her seat, her face as red as her hair. “Never coming to one of these again…”

“You’ve got it baaaaad.” Remus sang in her ear as he leaned over Lily to push away the chunk of brick Sirius was holding out to her. “And Padfoot, this could  _ kill  _ someone, you lunatic.”

“Shut up, Moony.” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes before shoving the brick back into his bag. “Just a bit of harmless fun, no ill intended.”

“Right. Cause throwing a chunk of brick at someone is harmless.” Remus sighed, settling back in his seat and continuing to watch the match.

“Maybe, maybe not, Sirius…” Lily smirked before looking back at the game. The game continued like normal, and Lily was able to follow most of it, not really understanding till someone made an announcement saying what team won the points.

Gryffindor were 350 points up from Hufflepuff when the commentator yelled out. The Seeker for the Gryffindor team had his hand held aloft, and James could see a small golden ball glittering in his fist. James punched the air in joy, they had won the match. His first year as Captain, and his team had won the cup! He sought out Lily in the crowd, and beamed proudly at her.

Lily laughed as Sirius dragged them all down to meet the team on the pitch, but most of the Gryffindors did the same. It was so noisy and Lily was looking around, trying to find her friends, when she saw James. “Congratulations.” She said loudly being pushed towards him by other people in the crowd. “You were amazing out there.”

James was surprised to say the least when hundreds of students suddenly swarmed the pitch. It was common practice for the final match. He didn't see Lily at first, but heard her congratulations. When he did spot her, he immediately pulled her into a tight hug, not caring that the whole school was watching. 

Lily gasped as he pulled her into a hug, but she quickly moved her arms to around his neck. She was much shorter than he was, so during the hug her feet lifted off the ground. “You, don’t  _ ever _ call me out in front of everyone like that.” She said with her arms still around his neck and a raised eyebrow. 

James just laughed, not willing to let her go just yet. “Hey, I blame Remus too. You should know better than to not pay attention to Quidditch.” He grinned and loosened his grip just slightly. As always, he was going to let her initiate things. If she pulled away, he would let go. But if she stayed? Well, he wasn’t going to end such a nice hug.

“I was asking for help…” She said with a small shrug. “I should umm… I should let you see the others, I’m sure they’ll want to congratulate you on catching the snitch?” She said with some vague idea of what she was talking about.

He laughed warmly, his hands still on her waist. “I’m a Chaser, Lil. Seekers catch the snitch…” He licked his lips, an idea forming. “You know, if you did want to learn about Quidditch I could show you the ropes? You could borrow a school broom and I could teach you a little. If you want to, that is.” He blushed slightly, thinking it was probably a stupid idea.

“Maybe next year, Potter.” Lily smirked. “I’ll think about it over summer.” She smiled and moved back out of the hug. “Come on, I’ve managed to stop Sirius from throwing stuff at you…” She took his hand and led him through the crowd towards Sirius and Remus.

\--- 

Lily stood outside the Potter residence, she held a perfectly wrapped box that was Marlene’s gift. She was very grateful for the fact she was now able to apparate, so managed to arrive early, but not too early. She walked to the door, wearing a sundress in a pale green with red shoes and red lipstick. She’d brought a bag, because the main part of the group was planning on staying the night and going for a hungover bike ride through the countryside the next day. 

She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell, rocking on her heels as she waited for someone to answer the door. 

James flung the door open, already a little buzzed thanks to Sirius and his endless supply of firewhiskey. He had dressed up a bit for this party, knowing it was Lily’s first time coming to his house and they were out of school. Really, he wanted to impress her. So he had on some fairly tight blue jeans with a red plaid shirt. Neat and tidy, he hadn’t done badly in dressing like a muggle. He grinned when he saw Lily standing there, clutching a present and a bag.

“Lily!” He cried out, pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek. “You look gorgeous! Welcome, welcome to my humble abode!”

“Hey…” Lily smiled and blushed when he kissed her cheek. “I hope I’m not too early… I was a bit worried about timing and I’ll be honest my sister brought her boyfriend around and I needed to get out there as quickly as possible.” She shivered thinking about the large weird man. 

Lily walked in, closing the door behind her. “Your house is lovely James.”

“Oh you’re not too early.” James grinned at her as she made her way through the door. “I mean, you’re here before most of the guests  _ and  _ the birthday girl. But the boys are here, Sirius was just sharing his uh, stash of firewhiskey with us before the party.” He chuckled at her, leading her towards where the Marauders were all hanging out in the main living room. 

“You have a sister?” He asked, not realising she had any siblings. Being an only child, he always assumed everyone else was also an only child until told otherwise. And Lily had never mentioned having a sister before. 

Lily kept her bag on her with her change of clothes and followed him into the living room. She placed her bag at the side of the room. “Yeah, Petunia. She’s older than me. She’s a muggle, didn’t really like me after she found out I was a wizard… So we don’t really get on. But she now has her horrible oaf of a boyfriend Vermin… Sorry Vernon…” Lily smiled at James. 

“Hey guys.” Lily said as they went over to the three lads. “Damn, you could smell the booze a mile off.”

James let out a bark of laughter. “Vermin! Merlin, Evans. That’s bloody hysterical.” He kept chuckling at that, feeling very proud of her for such a wonderful nickname. He didn’t know this Vernon, but if Lily didn’t like him, neither did James. When Lily said hey to the Marauders, they all cheered at the sight of her, Sirius much drunker than the rest of them. 

“Lily!” Sirius slurred, raising his glass to her. “What’s up, Lil Red?”

“Oh Sirius…” Lily sighed looking at him. “Come on, Jamie, let’s go and get some water for Sirius.” She said with a smirk and grabbed James’ hand, hoping he would lead her towards a kitchen where she could get Sirius a glass of water 

“ _ Jamie… _ ” James mouthed at Remus with a confused look as he and Lily made their way to the kitchen, holding hands. She’d never called him that before. Only his mum had called him Jamie. And speak of the devil, when they entered the kitchen, James saw that his mother was already in there, nursing a cup of coffee. “Oh, hey. Mum, this is Lily. Lily, this is my mother, Euphemia.”

Lily quickly dropped his hand seeing his mother. “Hey, Mrs Potter.” Lily said with a soft smile, she quickly folded her arms across herself in her usual protective stance.    
  
“Ahh, your friends are arriving already.” Mrs Potter smiled up from her drink. She quickly lifted it and finished the mug off. She carefully walked over and started to wash the mug up in the sink. Lily watched her, she hadn’t realised how much older James’ parents were, she smiled at both James and his mother. 

James quickly made his way over to his mother, gently nudging her out of the way, taking the mug out of her hands. “Mum, you know it’s my job to do the washing up. That includes coffee mugs.” His voice was very soft and gentle when talking to his mother, it was evident in his voice that he loved her very very much.

Lily smiled softly as James moved to take over washing up the mug. It was a side to James she saw very rarely, a moment where he wasn’t showing off to anyone, he was just  _ him _ . Euphemia moved out of the way with her hands up and she looked over at Lily. 

“James has told me a lot about you…” She said, she walked past her son, patting him on the shoulder. “You are always welcome in our home.” She said softly to Lily and headed out of the room.

James grinned as his mother spoke to Lily. She knew everything. He was very open with her, always asking for her advice. Euphemia had been the one to tell him to lay off, let Lily see the real him. He quickly washed up the mug, placing it on the draining board before turning to Lily once again. "She likes you."

“Good job she does.” Lily said with a smirk, “I’m usually good with mothers, I don’t think I could cope if yours didn’t like me.” She moved so that she was sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen. “So, how’s your summer been so far?”

"Pretty good. I've missed you though." James grinned, leaning against the counter with his hands in his pockets. She looked so pretty in that dress, all made up for the party. Then again, she always looked stunning, even first thing in the morning with no makeup at all. "I feel like it's never going to end though. I almost don't want to go back to Hogwarts knowing it's our last year."

“I missed you too…” She said resting her chin on her hand. “Don’t remind me. Then we have to go out in the real world and get jobs and stuff… I don’t think I’m ready to be an adult.” Lily smiled, looking over James. She let her eyes wander over him before shaking her head and just smiling. 

"Yeah." James let out a breathy sort of laugh, crossing his ankles as he put all of his weight against the counter. "Do you have plans on what you want to do? Because I think I'm going to apply to be an Auror, what with Voldemort getting stronger as each day passes."

“I was talking to McGonagall last term about it…” Lily said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I might go and be a healer at St Mungos. Seems like I might be able to help like that…” She said, “But an Auror seems to fit you quite well… Anyway, we should get water for Sirius before the others arrive. I really don’t want to see him and Marlene do anything I haven’t seen before…”

James grinned at her. "I can see you as a Healer. You care so much about everyone, it suits you." He gazed at her for a while before pushing off of the counter, grabbing a glass and filling it with water from the tap. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Though usually any attempts to sober him up just make him drink more out of stubbornness. Bloody Gryffindor, am I right?" He winked at her.

“Don’t worry. I got it.” Lily said, taking the glass out of his hand. “I got Marlene sober at her mum’s wedding…” She smirked and walked into the room sitting next to Sirius. “Drink. Now.”

James gave Sirius a look that said 'just do it, mate' after Lily handed him the glass. Sirius rolled his eyes, but did as Lily asked, downing the whole glass quite quickly. Peter giggled from his spot next to Remus. "Wow, Padfoot!" Peter said. "Who would've thought Lily Evans would be the one to finally convince you to sober up!"

"Shut it, Wormy." Sirius snarled, but there was no malicious hint to his voice. Maybe for once he realised that sobering up was the right thing to do.

Lily looked mildly pleased with herself when Sirius drank before standing up again. “James… Is there somewhere I can put my bag before everyone else arrives?” She asked softly, totally not using it as an excuse to be on her own with him again.

"Oh, yeah. You can dump it in my room for now if you want. I'll show you where it is." James jumped to his feet again, decidedly not looking at his other friends as he quickly led the way out of the living room, heading over to the amazing grand staircase that led to the upstairs of the huge house.

“This place is like a maze…” Lily said as she followed him up the stairs with her bag. “I know you say you're rich… But damn, James…” She giggled.

James groaned slightly, sighing. "I hate it. I mean, I get why we are. The Potters are an ancient family, and my father invented such a revolutionary product. But I always feel like we could share so much with those less fortunate. We do donate a lot, and do charity work, but why should I get to live in luxury while others suffer?" He ran his hand through his hair, surprised at what he was saying. He'd never told that to anyone before, not even Sirius. "This is my room." He said, opening a door and entering into the tidiest bedroom a teenage boy could have.

Lily nodded listening to what he was saying. “James. I know what your parents have done for charity over the years, everyone knows… You do a lot. You shouldn’t feel guilty for it.” She said and followed him into his room. “Damn… How do you go from this… to your dorm room at school…”

"Blame Sirius for that." James laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He'd never had a girl in his childhood bedroom before, and the first one being  _ Lily  _ made him quite nervous. "Believe it or not, but I'm neater than Remus."

“Now that is really attractive…” She said before covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes went wide. “I umm…” She placed her bag down on the chair in his room and looked back at him. “Ignore me…”

James pressed his lips together, suppressing a smile. He looked away from her and his eyes were naturally drawn to the photograph of him and the rest of the Marauders he had put up on the wall. All four of them had a copy, which was cheesy as hell but James didn't care. "I'll take it as a compliment."

“Please don’t…” She smirked looking over at him and seeing him look at the photograph. She walked forward to look at the picture, resting her head against his arm. “It’s a nice picture. I’m glad you have them and they have you.”

James grinned and put his arm around Lily, tugging her close. "It was in fifth year, we got a snotty little second year to take it for us." His heart warmed at the memory. It had been a good day. That was just after Sirius had officially moved in with him.

“You sound so great… And then you say something like that.” She sighed and looked up at him. “Remind me to take a picture for you all at some point before graduation. Maybe I can add another photo to your night stand.” She smiled.

"Yeah. I'd like that." He smiled down at her. She had this look in her eyes and all he wanted to do in that moment was kiss her. He was moving in when he heard a scream downstairs. "Sounds like Marlene has arrived." He whispered, his lips very close to hers.

Lily could see him moving closer, her heart was in her chest again. “Yeah… We should probably head downstairs…” She said, not moving from her spot, she had a hand on his chest again.

James licked his lips, eyes flicking down to Lily's before he took a step back, clearing his throat. "Come on, let's get this party started, huh?" He jerked his head to the bedroom door that was still wide open.

“Yeah… Right.” Lily smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Got to keep Marlene in check right?” Lily walked out with James but stopped before she reached the stairs. “Is it okay if I use your bathroom? I’ll meet you down there.”

"Yeah of course." He said, one hand shoved back into his pocket. "Down that corridor, second door on your left." He gestured towards it, smiling softly.

Lily smiled and made her way down to the bathroom. She used the facilities and as she walked out she ran into Mrs Potter in the corridor. “Sorry, Angel, I didn’t see you there.” Euphemia said with a wide smile. “I’m very pleased you are here, Lily.” She said with a knowing smile. 

“Well I’m pleased I got to finally meet you Mrs Potter.” Lily replied.

“Lily. James has… He’s mellowed since you two became friends.” Mrs Potter said. “It’s good for him. He really cares about you…” She turned to see Mr Potter stood in the corridor as well. Mrs Potter walked over and hugged him tightly. “This is Lily…” She said. 

“Oh I know…” Mr Potter smirked and nodded at Lily. “Lovely to meet you. Sorry I’m going to drag my wife away. We are having a date night.” The older man smiled and spun Mrs Potter under his arm. 

“Have a lovely evening…” Lily said before quickly making her way back down to the party.

James had hugged Marlene tightly when he’d made it downstairs, wishing her a very happy birthday and they, and all of the friends that she had shown up with, made their way to the living room which was decorated for the party. 

Now that he was seventeen, James revelled in being able to perform magic outside of Hogwarts. So he pointed his wand at the record player in the corner, music filling the room.

Lily walked into the room as the music started up and smiled. “Happy Birthday!” She called out to Marlene who ran over and gave her a big hug. “Your present is over there. Maybe save it till later.” She winked at her and laughed. 

“Let’s dance!” Dorcas called out, grabbed Remus’ hand and made him dance. 

James made his way over to the sofa, sitting down next to Sirius. He grabbed a butterbeer, sipping it as he watched Remus reluctantly starting to dance with Dorcas. Peter had leapt to his feet, dancing on his own. James smiled, leaning back against the cushions.

"Well isn't this nice…" He said, absentmindedly.

“It’s great…” Sirius said drinking a can of coke now. “So, Lily’s bag is in your room is it?” Sirius smirked. 

As Dorcas and Remus started dancing, Marlene dragged Lily into the middle to start dancing as well. They all danced around to the music dragging Peter in to dance with them all as a group.

"Oh shut up." James said, knocking Sirius with his elbow. "I was gonna dump everyone's stuff in there. Not everyone has their own bloody bedroom, Padfoot." James slipped his drink as he watched their friends dancing, not taking his eyes off of Lily who looked unbelievably happy in the middle of the group.

“Sure you were. I actually already got Dorcas and Marlene to put their stuff in the spare room… Remus and Peter’s stuff is in my room.” Sirius laughed. “It’s going to look like you wanted her there.”

Lily laughed as Marlene started spinning her in the middle of the group. “How does it feel being old?” Lily smirked at Marlene.

"Bloody hell…" James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She kissed me, you know. Last year. Pulled me right into a broom cupboard and snogged the living daylights out of me. But she wants to just be friends, so that's all I can ever be. Just friends."

Marlene laughed, her head falling back as she spun with Lily, holding her hands tightly. "Great! I hate being the youngest, watching all of you doing magic while I had to sit like a bloody muggle!"

Sirius nearly spat his drink out and looked at James. “Merlin, mate. That seems unbelievable. But I also have seen the way she looks at you.” Sirius groaned. “Sometimes I’m not surprised I’m the only one with a girlfriend…” He stood up and went over to Marlene. 

“Well now you can… Just maybe don’t do too much today. Dorcas, how much as she had?” Lily asked and Dorcas just smirked. Marlene let go of Lily to wrap her arms around Sirius. 

James sighed, closing his eyes once Sirius left and just sat, listening to the music. He started to sing along quietly, knowing none of them would hear him thanks to their loud chatter.

Lily turned to look at James, he was the only one in the group not dancing now. She saw him moving his lips, so walked forward and reached her hands out to him. “Come dance... “

His eyes opened at the sound of her voice, a small smile pulling at his lips when she asked him to dance. "Ah, you spotted the lonely gent and decided to save him did you? Isn't that how it usually goes in those muggle books you like to read?" He asked, getting to his feet and taking her hands. "By that Janet Orsten woman, or whatever her name is."

Lily held his hand tightly and brought him towards the group. “Please tell me you started reading Jane Austen…” She laughed and started dancing with him keeping hold of his hands. 

"Maybe." He winked at her, moving with her. He wasn't a very confident dancer, especially when he wasn't drunk enough. "I might have gotten my hands on the one called Emma because I heard you recommend it…" 

Lily moved his arms back and forth making it look like he was dancing. “You…” Lily looked away from him. She shook her hand and just continued to dance, singing along to some of the music. 

“I, what?” He grinned at her, swaying with her, not overly enthusiastically. He looked over to see Sirius and Marlene very much interlocked. Honestly, since they had properly gotten together, they were insufferable to witness.

“Nothing... “ She said, moving her hand to the back of her neck. She looked over to where he was looking. “Oh… Eww.” She pulled a face at James.

James laughed, discomfort evident on his features. “I would tell them to get a room, but this is my house. And I do not want to think about  _ that  _ happening beneath my roof.” He grew a little more confident with his dancing, using the hand she had just let go of to slide around to rest on her lower back.

“That would be… Disturbing…” She pulled a face before biting her lip as he held her. “I’m going to get a drink…” She said, quickly moving away from the group.

James sighed when she walked away from him, ruffling up his hair. She’d bitten her goddamn lip and given him this look like- Merlin, this girl was going to be the death of him. He suddenly realised he was standing alone in the middle of a group of drunk, dancing teenagers. Cringing, he stepped away and moved to stand by the record player. Only Lily could get him to dance.

Lily went over to the table, picking up one of the butterbeer bottles and taking a swig. The evening continued on with Marlene opening many presents, way too much drunk dancing and Sirius running naked through the garden. The group found themselves in the garden lying back on the grass with cider and an empty bottle of firewhiskey. Sirius smirked, spinning the bottle in front of him. “Truth or dare?” He asked James. 

James rolled his eyes, of course Sirius would pick such a game. And his best friend really should know the answer by now. James wasn’t one to chicken out. “Dare, of course.” He grinned mischievously back at his friend, raising an eyebrow.

“I dare you…” Sirius said and smirked. “I dare you to kiss Lily.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Sirius…” She said but didn’t continue.

James glared at Sirius, of course Padfoot would do something like that. He should not have told him about the broom cupboard… Chewing his lip, James turned to look at Lily, trying to ask with his eyes if this was okay.

Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius before turning to James. Instead she moved forward and kissed him. It began soft but she moved closer to deepen the kiss. 

By Merlin, did it feel good to be kissing her again. His hand cupped her cheek as he kissed her back, breathing every inch of her in. He ignored the cat calls from their friends around them, just enjoying this moment. But when he felt her try to deepen it, he pulled away. “Not here.” He whispered, so that only Lily could hear. “Not with them all watching.”

Lily felt the blush cover her face, she bit her lip and sat back down. “Right, James’ go…” She said and poked her tongue out at Sirius. 

James cleared his throat, knowing his cheeks were flushed very red from the kiss. He looked around at his friends, Peter had the biggest grin on his face while Remus looked fairly shocked that they had actually gone through with it, especially since Lily had initiated it. He leaned forwards, spinning the bottle. “Remus, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Remus replied, very quickly. He knew James wouldn’t push the boundaries, especially when it came to his ‘furry little problem’. 

“Do you have a crush on anyone?” James asked, not realising that Remus actually did. 

The colour drained from Remus’ face and his eyes flicked around the group. “Yes…” He said and looked down at his hands. “But you are never going to find out who.” He said and quickly spun the bottle again, landing on Dorcas. “I dare you to kiss Peter.”

James gave Remus an apologetic look, hoping his friend realised that he hadn’t known and had thought he’d asked an easy question. Now that attention was turned away from him, he got to his feet. “Bathroom.” He muttered while Dorcas squealed as Peter kissed her. Quietly, he walked away from the group and towards the lake, needed a bit of silence to gather his thoughts.

The game quickly came to an end when Marlene and Sirius found an excuse to start snogging and Remus started fake throwing up. “Fine.” Sirius said with a sigh standing up. “Let’s go down to the lake. I dare you all.” The rest of the group agreed and started to head to the lake. 

“I’ll wait for James… So he knows where we are…” Lily said and the others just nodded. 

James spotted the rest of the group coming towards him and darted into the shadows, not ready to rejoin them just yet. He shoved his hands in his pocket and looked at his feet as he started to walk back to the house, figuring where the group had all just been hanging out would be empty now. He didn’t notice Lily there waiting for him.

“Alright stranger.” Lily called out, noticing he hadn’t seen her yet. “Are you okay? Too drunk?” 

James jumped, pressing his hand to his rapidly beating heart. “Blimey, Evans. You need to stop sneaking up on me like that.” He gave her a weak smile, walking over. “I’m fine, just needed a bit of space away from Sirius and his need for attention.” He wasn’t very convincing.

“It’s more the fact that he’s a little too drunk and Marlene is there…” Lily rolled her eyes. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out on going to the lake.” She smiled, shuffling her feet on the floor. 

“I was already there.” He said softly, gazing at her in the moonlight. He noticed that she had some goosebumps on her arms. He unbuttoned his shirt, wearing a t-shirt underneath, and put it over her shoulders. “You looked cold.”

“Oh, I thought…” She frowned but smiled when he placed his shirt around her. “Or was it just an excuse to take your shirt off?” She smiled and wrapped the shirt over her. “You want to talk about it?”

“Shut up.” James chuckled, bumping her with his shoulder. “I… I think Sirius was a right bastard for that dare.” He said, looking up at the stars. “It wasn’t fair to you, you know, since we’re friends and all.”

“Sirius has been trying to get us together for years…” Lily said and moved to take his hand and started walking across the grounds. “It probably didn’t help that I told Marlene about the broom closet and she without a doubt told Sirius.” She ran a hand through her hair and looked up at him. “The kiss wasn’t a bad thing James… I mean Dorcas and Peter kissed too…”

James was pretty surprised when Lily mentioned the broom cupboard, she hadn’t said a word about it since it had happened. He licked his lips, trying not to look at her like all he wanted to do was kiss her again, though he was fairly sure he was failing. “It was, when he knew how I-” He cut himself off, not wanting to push the boundary of their friendship.

Lily turned to look back at James. “You want to stop hiding things from me, Potter?” She said, raising an eyebrow at him. 

James shook his head. “I’m not hiding anything. You know everything anyway.” He whispered, looking down at his feet, chewing his lip nervously.

“Hey, Jamie. Talk to me. There’s no point in… Come on, tell me what you are thinking. It’s just you and me…” She smiled, stopping to stand in front of him.

James felt like his heart was in his throat. He really did cherish her friendship, but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it up, especially now that they had two shared kisses under their belts. “He knows how I feel about you, Lil. I know that we agreed that being friends was best, but Merlin, I can’t get you out of my head. I know I’ve been a right wanker for years. But I’ve changed, I’ve shown you who I really am, yet all you want is to be my friend. And I’m sorry… I- I can’t do it anymore.” He dropped her hands and turned, starting to walk away from her, trying to hold back tears.

“James.” Lily stepped forward grabbing his arm. “Don’t walk away.” She realised she probably wouldn’t be saying this if she hadn’t had a couple of drinks under her belt to build some confidence. “James, I don’t want to be friends anymore…” She paused and looked at him. “I made a mistake. I was just worried that I’d mess something up… But I like you James.”

James’ eyes closed, he wasn’t quite sure if what he had heard was real or not. His heart was beating so fast, his hands were shaking. “You need to stop playing with my heart, Lil. I don’t think I can take it…” He looked at her, misery in his eyes. “I need you to not run from me... “

Lily smiled sadly at him. She stepped forward, placing a hand on the side of his face. “How about this…” She looked him straight in the eyes. “James Potter, will you be my boyfriend?”

James didn’t reply. Instead, a huge grin spread across his lips, and he took a step closer. His hands cupped her cheeks and he crashed his lips against hers, kissing her desperately.

Lily kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. She broke the kiss shortly after resting her forehead against his. “So is that a yes?”

A single tear slipped down James’ cheek, he was giddy with joy. “What do you think?” He whispered, kissing her again. This time it was soft, gentle and ever so loving.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily smiled and quickly wiped the tear off of James’ face. “Don’t want to let the others see you crying.” She smiled, kissing him back and holding him close. 

“Merlin.” James whispered after they broke off the kiss, nudging her nose with his. “Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming…” His thumb stroked the apple of her cheek as he gazed into her bright green eyes, grinning broadly. “Imagine what people will say when we get back to Hogwarts…”

“I feel like a lot of money will pass hands.” Lily giggled. “Come on, let’s get to the lake with the others… Don’t want to be missing out…” She smiled and took his hand, leading him along with his shirt still around her. 

James was ecstatic. He continued to hold her hand but moved so that his arm was around her shoulders, her arm resting across her chest as he held her close by his side. As they walked down to the lake, he kissed the top of her head. He felt quite warm, despite having given his shirt to her in the cool evening air. Maybe it was thanks to the alcohol he had consumed, but he was pretty positive it was due to pure joy. After a few moments, she let go of his hand to hold him back.

Lily leant against him as they walked, her arm around his waist, her fingers brushing against the skin that showed between his t-shirt and his jeans. As they made their way to the clearing they saw Sirius and Marlene already in the water. “What are you two doing?” Lily called out.

“Swimming… In the moonlight” Marlene called back with a wide grin at the couple. 

“Getting hypothermia…” Remus called back with a sigh. But he then proceeded to pull his jumper off, finish off another bottle of firewhiskey and jumped into the water himself. 

James let out a peal of laughter, wrapping his other arm around Lily to pull her into a hug. “Moony must be drunk if he’s doing that.” He grinned as he watched his friends splashing around in the lake, Remus managing to dunk Sirius. It was the perfect night to spend with his friends and his… Merlin’s beard… His _girlfriend._ He didn’t care that their friends could see, he lifted Lily’s chin up with his fingers and gave her a chaste kiss.

Lily smirked, reaching up and kissing him back. She broke the kiss and smiled at him. “Race you…” She laughed and threw off his shirt running into the water. She dived in, leaving her shoes on the shore. She swam up to the surface gasping at how cold the water was now. 

James watched as everyone else ran into the water, diving in. _My stupid friends,_ he thought to himself before pulling his t-shirt over his head, pushing his glasses up his nose and running after them all. Just before he ran into the water, he jumped. And like a cannonball, he splashed every single one of them as he landed.

Lily got a lot of water in her face when he jumped in and she coughed, moving away from him. Once the water settled she swam over to him. “Alright, boyfriend?” She said before splashing him with the water, mirroring their time in the fountain.

“Alright, girlfriend?” James grinned back at her, pushing her wet hair out of her face. He felt a little self-conscious now that he’d taken his shirt off, but it was his favourite, he didn’t want it to get wet. He leant down to kiss her, but just as their lips touched he used his arm to sweep a whole load of water at her.

Lily gasped as the water went over her. “Bastard!” She called out and ducked under the water. She swam down before appearing behind him and jumped onto his back, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “You’ll pay for that, Potter.” She said as a whisper in his ear. She then nipped at his ear lobe before looking over at the rest of the group. 

Marlene had her arms wrapped around Sirius as he held her in a piggy back, much like how Lily was being held by James. All of their friends looked insanely thrilled that James and Lily had finally found their way together. Remus was smiling wider than perhaps any of them had ever seen from him. 

James hooked his arms under Lily's legs, grinning at Sirius before he pushed up, forcing Lily off of him so she fell backwards in the water. "You started it, Evans." He laughed.

Lily gasped as she fell into the water managing to hold her breath. She swam down and held her breath so she was underwater for longer, trying to scare him a little bit. She then swam to the surface with a scowl on her face. 

James smiled warmly down at her, holding out his hand. “Don’t play with fire, Evans. Also this lake isn’t deep enough to hide under the water.” He winked at her, genuine happiness on his face.

After a large water fight that included dragging Peter into the water, the group found themselves lying on the edge of the lake staring up into the sky. “It’s scary to think after all this, after our final year, we will be out there in the world…” Dorcas said suddenly from her position lying on Marlene’s shoulder. 

“We’ll be out there in the war…” Remus said, a solemn look on his face. 

“We’ll be together though.” Lily said, her fingers brushing against the back of James’ hand. “As long as we’re together we will be happy, right?”

“Yeah,” James said, locking their fingers together as he turned his head to look at Lily. “Together.” The war was approaching, that was something they all knew. But they were still young, still had another year left of childhood. It was best for them to embrace it.

They decided to make their way into the house, especially when they realised the sun was starting to rise. Lily kept hold of James’ hand the entire time, but the group was too tired to make much small talk. 

With a wave of his wand, the living room suddenly had sleeping bags on the floor, ready for everyone to climb into. “Thanks for a great seventeenth, everyone.” Marlene smiled at her friends, still hanging onto Sirius to stay standing up. She was _very_ drunk. “Now we all get to cuddle up together. Cute.” 

James jerked his head over to a couple of sleeping bags, smiling at Lily. “Those ones over there look pretty cosy, huh?”

“Sounds good.” She smirked and led him over to the two sleeping bags in the corner. She sat down on top of one before pulling him down next to her. 

James wrapped Lily up in his arms, kissing her head. With another flick of his wand, all of their overnight bags came flying down the stairs, landing in front of their owners. 

Lily smiled softly leaning into his touch, she quickly pulled out her pyjamas from the bag and pulled the trousers on under her skirt. Marlene just stripped in front of them all and Dorcas got changed inside her sleeping bag. Lily pulled her dress over her head so she was in her bra but quickly pulled the t-shirt on over. 

James pointedly looked away when the girls started changing. His shirt was already off so he simply had to switch his jeans for his pajama bottoms. He yawned widely, slipping into his sleeping bag. Sirius was already passed out, fully clothed and sprawled across the top of his sleeping bag, Marlene was shaking her head at him.

Remus sat on his sleeping bag next to Sirius and moved to position Sirius on his side, having found Sirius in this position many times before. Everyone else started getting into the sleeping bags and Lily did the same snuggling down into hers.

James rolled over to look at Lily, his hand resting on her waist. He smiled softly and pressed a gentle kiss to her nose. "Alright, Evans?" He whispered. 

“Alright, Potter?” Lily smirked lying so she was facing him. “Goodnight everyone…” Lily called out to the rest of the group.

Everyone who was still awake said goodnight back, and very quickly the group fell asleep. Except for James who decided to just stare at Lily for a while, still in disbelief that she had actually asked him out.

“I’ll still be here tomorrow.” Lily said softly, she moved her hand out of the sleeping bag and took James’ before closing her eyes.

“You’d better be.” He whispered, lifting their hands so that he could press a kiss to the back of Lily’s. Smiling happily, James finally closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

\--- 

_Lily,_

_I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I don't think that James will._

_Sirius wrote to me, and gave me the heartbreaking news that both of James' parents contracted Dragon Pox a few days ago, and sadly they were too old to survive._

_James has cut us all off. Except Sirius of course since they live together but I doubt he will contact you either. He won't want to hurt you by bringing you into this, not considering that leaving you out will hurt you too._

_I don't have a clue what to do from here. I want to help my friend, but I also want to give him the space he needs. If you ever need to talk, feel free to write to me, or come and visit._

_Your friend,_

_Remus._

_Remus,_

_Thank you for contacting me, I was getting quite worried as he wasn’t replying to my letters. I can’t believe that has happened. It's so horrible._

_I’ve looked into it and the funeral is on Wednesday at the church around the corner from their house. I was thinking about going. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but Mr and Mrs Potter were so nice to me and to all of us. I think it would be better if we were there to pay our respects, and there if James or Sirius needed us._

_If we give him space till then, maybe that’s the best way. I won't contact him, I’ll give him that space. If you want to come to the funeral as well, I can always meet you and we can go together._

_Hope you are doing okay._

_Lils x_

_Lily,_

_Sirius told me about the funeral, asking if I could attend. I will happily stick with you if you would like, I just think it’s best that we all tread carefully around James for the time being. I’m sorry that this happened, especially since you two only just got together. I’m afraid I don’t know what this will do to your relationship._

_If you wanted, I can apparate to your house beforehand, so neither of us have to go alone. I would ask Pete, but he and his parents are in the Bahamas. It’s probably best for us to be there, so James knows that we are there for him, but we keep our distance. I can’t imagine what he is going through._

_Much love,_

_Remus._

_Remus,_

_I guess Sirius will be with James when this all starts off, so if it’s okay we can stick together at the start. I’d like it if you came here, thanks. I don’t care about what will happen, I just want James to be_ ~~_happy_~~ _okay._

_I’ll see you on Wednesday._

_Lily._


	5. Chapter 5

Lily stood outside her house in the small front garden, staring at the white picket fence. She wore a long sleeved black dress with a white collar, black tights and black shoes. She held a bunch of sunflowers in her hands as well as a small bag. Lily had her hair brushed straight and enough makeup on to hide the bags that were under her eyes from her lack of sleep with worrying about James. 

Remus apparated to Lily’s village, knowing it was a muggle dwelling so made sure to appear in a quiet alleyway. He walked down Lily’s street, dressed all in black. He was limited in clothing choices, so he was wearing a pair of his school trousers with a black jumper and his trusty long black coat. His hands were in his coat pockets. Despite it being the middle of summer, it felt like a cold day. He tried to smile when he spotted Lily standing outside of her house, but it just looked like a grimace. This was no day for smiling. “Hey, Lils.”

Lily looked up when she heard her voice. “Remus..” She said softly. She walked off her path and pulled him into a hug. She held him tightly for a long moment before moving back. “It’s…” She stopped and looked down for a moment. “I don’t know…” She smiled sadly at him. “Let’s go…” 

Remus sniffed quietly when Lily hugged him. To be honest, he was barely holding it together. Euphemia and Fleamont had been so quick to accept him when James had explained his ‘furry little problem’ to them, giving him access to their grounds last summer after the other Marauders had figured out how to become Animagi so that he could be safe to transform. When she pulled back, his eyes were watering, but he didn’t let the tears fall. Instead, he just held out his hand to her. “Want me to apparate us both there? I probably know the area better than you.”

“Yeah… If that’s okay.” She said and gripped his hand tightly. With a quick turn and a tug they found themselves in the side alley by the Potter’s house. Instead of letting go of Remus’ hand, Lily kept a hold of it as they walked towards the church. She could tell Remus was struggling, so anything she could do to help the boys today, she was going to. 

Remus’ breath caught when he saw a few people already standing in the cemetery, noticing two boys with black hair standing together. James looked broken, his skin pale, his eyes red. His hair was messier than ever, he had stubble on his jaw as well. Remus let out a shaky sigh, clutching Lily’s hand tightly. “Merlin…”

Lily’s heart was in her throat when she saw James, a shiver ran down her spine. Lily led Remus over to the front so she could put down the flowers, most people have put traditional flowers down so Lily’s looked a bit different. She kept hold of Remus and walked them to a seat a few rows back from James and Sirius. 

By the looks of things, James was already crying, his head bowed. If he had been surprised that Lily was there, he hadn’t shown it. He might not have even noticed that they were there, lost in his grief. Remus squeezed Lily’s hand trying to give her some of his tiny shred of strength.

Lily stroked the back of Remus’ hand with her thumb. The music started and the coffins were brought down the centre aisle, everyone stood and Lily kept her eyes on James. She squeezed Remus’ hand back again and everyone sat back down. The ceremony was beautiful, lots of the Potters' friends came up and said beautiful words about them, a few songs were sung and music was being played. 

At one point, Remus noticed Sirius nudge James, apparently asking if he wanted to get up and say something. But James shook his head in response, which broke Remus’ heart a little. He couldn’t stand seeing his friend go through this, especially one as kind and thoughtful as James.

Lily turned to look at Remus, “D-Do you want to say anything? Or go and be up there with James and Sirius?” Lily asked, looking over at Sirius.

Remus shook his head. “I knew them, but I don’t think my words would be worth much to most of these people.” He knew Lily wouldn’t understand that, one day he would tell her about him being a werewolf, but today wasn’t that day. “Are you okay, though?”

“I’m fine…” Lily said, looking back over at James and Sirius. At that point Sirius stood up, he walked over to the podium. 

“Mr and Mrs Potter were more like family to me than my own parents were. I became homeless at the age of 15 and they took me in, no questions asked, nothing. They gave me a room and clothes and fed me. But even before that, even before I was forced into their lives, I’d never met someone who cared so much. We used to sneak over to see James over the summer, Remus and I would climb up the trellis in the back garden and climb through the window. But Euphemia wasn’t stupid, because when we woke up in the morning there would be a cooked breakfast for each of us sat outside the door.” Sirius smiled sadly. “Fleamont and Euphemia Potter were the kindest, most genuine people I have ever met. I will always miss them. But I will take their strength and their kindness with me, always. They aren’t gone, James.” Sirius said, looking at his brother. “Because they’re always in here.” Sirius put a hand to his heart before walking back to his brother. 

Tears had started streaming down Remus’ face at Sirius’ words. He wasn’t as close to James’ parents as his friend, but he did know how they had saved him. He clutched Lily’s hand tighter, sniffling quietly. James was bent over in his chair, his head in his hands.

Lily wrapped her arm around Remus, tears falling down her face as well. She rested her head on Remus’ shoulder while rubbing circles into his back during the rest of the ceremony. They were then led out of the church and out to the graveyard. James and Sirius stood right at the front and Lily took Remus to stand at the side slightly away from them. 

A few more speeches were spoken, then the coffins were lowered into the ground, mud covering them. The headstone before the grave read:  _ Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.  _ “They were such good people.” Remus whispered to Lily, his voice dry and croaky.

“I know they were…” Lily said and stroked Remus’ back. She looked over to see Sirius was sobbing into his hands. “Go to Sirius… He needs you.”  _ And you need him, _ she thought. 

Remus saw the knowing look in her eyes and nodded. Letting her hand go, he made his way over to his two friends. James was staring ahead, his face blank. “Prongs… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” In response, James just nodded his head once, not looking at his friend.

Sirius saw Remus walk over, he let him speak before wrapping his arms around him and burying his head in his shoulder as he cried. Sirius had obviously been trying to stay strong for them all, but had finally broken. As this happened, Lily walked over and slipped her hand into James’. She said nothing and just looked forward at the grave stone. 

James felt a hand slip into his own, but he didn’t properly register it. He didn’t even know who it was. All he knew was that his parents were dead, his friends were crying and he felt more alone than he ever had before. And that’s what he wanted. He didn’t want to be around all of these people, he was sick of hearing the sympathies and the apologies. He just wanted to go home and sit in his bedroom.

Lily turned to look at him, she could see the emptiness in his eyes. “Let’s get out of here.” She said softly, leading him away from the rest of the group. She led him along the path away from the graveyard and along to a small empty park. She took him to a park bench and sat him down. 

James followed, not really knowing where he was going. When she sat him down, he finally looked, realising it was Lily. He hadn’t even known she was coming. He could see tear tracks on her cheeks, redness under her eyes. “Hey.” He spoke for the first time in days. 

“Hey.” She said softly, she brushed some of James’ hair out of his face. She reached down and straightened out his suit. She then sat back on the bench next to him. 

James looked at Lily and the floodgates opened. Tears began streaming down his face, his whole body shaking as he started sobbing. There was something about seeing her there, the fact she had turned up without him asking that broke him to shreds, especially knowing that his heart was far too broken to be able to love at the moment. 

Lily quickly moved to wrap her arms around him and hold him as he sobbed. She rubbed her hand in circles on his back and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “It’s okay. I got you.” She said, just trying to hold him steady. 

James hiccupped, completely unaware that he was soaking her dress with his tears. He clung to her tightly, knowing that soon he was going to have to let her go. She didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve the hell that was going to come with all the shit accompanying his parent’s deaths. But for now, he let himself be held by her, savouring the last few moments together.

Lily closed her eyes, holding him close. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.” She said softly. She rocked him back and forth slowly, trying to calm him, trying to ground him. 

“It’s not…” James whispered, his voice hoarse and croaky. “They died, Evans. They’re never coming back.” He pulled himself away from her, his hands tugging at his hair until it hurt. He couldn’t do this, he had to protect her. And the best way to do that was to push her away. So he resorted back to calling her Evans.

“I know… I know, Jamie.” She said. “Please. Please don’t hurt yourself.” She urged, keeping her hands up in front of her, but not moving to touch him. “James, they don’t want you to have to go through this alone.”

James just looked at her before standing up, his face still streaked with tears. But he wasn’t crying anymore. “I’m sorry.” He said simply, before turning on his heel and disapparating, leaving her alone on the bench.

“Shit.” Lily exclaimed looking at the empty space in front of her. She quickly walked back to the group by the church and made her way over to Sirius and Remus. “He’s gone. Apparated… I couldn’t stop him…” She said and Sirius just nodded. 

“Don’t worry Evans. I got this.” He smiled sadly at her and touched her arm. “Thanks for coming.”

Remus wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulders, knowing that she was going to need support. He didn't know what had happened between them, but he did know what James could be like when he got upset. He was such a passionate person, a tragedy like this will have broken him entirely. "I'm sorry, Lily."

“It’s fine.” Lily shrugged his arm off. “I just want him to be okay… Or safe. Or whatever he’s meant to be right now.” Lily sighed and bit her lip. “I should go… Are you going to be okay?” She asked Remus.

“Yeah.” Remus said, nodding back at her. “Don’t think just because James is like this that we aren’t there for you, Lily. I’ve been your friend for years and I care about you a lot okay?” He gave her a soft smile. “Just because I’m his friend, doesn’t mean I’m not yours too.” 

“I’m not going anywhere Remus. He needs time. But I’m here if he needs me. Or if you need me.” She smiled softly at him. She turned and walked away from them looking at the grave once more. “Bye, Mr and Mrs Potter.” She said quietly before apparating back to her house.

Remus sighed, looking at Sirius. “Ready for a long time of hell?” He asked, scratching at an itchy scab from his last transformation. Yet another scar added to his collection.


	6. Chapter 6

Lily had managed to get on the train and find a seat without seeing him. It’s not that she was hiding from him, she just didn’t think those were the right moments. But it wasn’t going to be long, she knew she’d have to make her way down to the Prefect's carriage, where she was to collect everyone together and explain the rules, and introduce herself as the new Head Girl. She bid goodbye to Mary and Marlene and made her way to the end carriage, it was already saved for them. She opened the door, thankfully it was empty, she sat down in the corner and waited for everyone to arrive. 

James had certainly been shocked when he’d seen the Head Boy badge fall out of his envelope when he had opened it. What was Dumbledore thinking? Remus was surely the obvious choice. But no, James Potter was Head Boy of Hogwarts. He stood on the platform with Sirius, helping him load their trunks onto the train. He had recovered a little since his parent's death. But he wasn't happy, by no means. 

After the train had started making its journey to the castle, he realised he needed to head to the Prefect’s compartment. He didn't know where Remus was, so he made his way there alone. He prayed no one was in there already. But once he slid open the door, he wasn't particularly surprised to see Lily already there. She always was early. 

Lily looked up, hoping to see one of the other prefects. “James…” She said catching his eyes. “I didn’t know you were a prefect again this year…” She said and quickly looked away from him and down to her hands. 

"Not just a prefect." James replied, feeling quite awkward around her. He felt so awful for ending things the way he did, but he stood by it. She deserved to be protected. He tapped the badge labelled 'HB' on his chest, the sound of his nail hitting the metal echoed through the quiet compartment. 

“Head Boy…” Lily said with wide eyes. “I’m… Head Girl.” She stood up as a few more prefects made their way into the compartment. She was going to spend way more time with him than she expected. She also didn’t like how awkward he was around her. 

“Congrats.” James said, finally taking a seat opposite her. This was going to be a tough year. He almost sighed in relief when Remus walked through the door, moving his bag so his friend could sit beside him. Hopefully, Remus could act as a kind of buffer between him and Lily.

Slowly everyone arrived, when Remus showed up she gave him a big hug and they all sat in the compartment. Lily checked everyone off the list and spoke about patrol pairings and what they could and couldn’t do. She then dismissed everyone. 

“Evans?” James said, when everyone was starting to leave. “Can… Can I have a word?” He twisted his fingers together, nervous to talk to her alone.

“Potter. Yeah. Course.” She said and turned to say goodbye to one of the last prefects. She shut the door behind them and turned around. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” James said, giving her a tight smile. “I just thought we should talk about what our plan is going to be as Heads. We should probably be on the same page from the very beginning.” He knew she probably thought he was going to talk about  _ them,  _ but he wasn’t quite ready to face that conversation yet…

“Yeah… Of course.” She stayed standing, resting her back against the door. “Sure… What were you thinking? I’ve already got us down on the patrol spreadsheet.” 

“Well, you being you, I’m guessing our approach will be firm but fair?” He said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Merlin… I don’t know what the hell Dumbledore was thinking, putting  _ me  _ in charge.”  _ I’m not cut out for this,  _ he thought to himself.

“Yeah.. I guess Dumbledore thought that maybe, because all of this shit that’s going on, people needed to be able to have some fun…” She said, watching his face. “Maybe he thought that we’d only tell people off if we have to. Or maybe he thought if he made you Head Boy, you’d actually look me in the face…” Lily said with her arms folded. 

James’ stomach dropped. Wow, she’d really just said that? “What’s that supposed to mean?” He snapped, growing defensive very quickly. He understood why she had said it, deep down. But the James on the surface was hurt, and angry. 

Lily sighed and looked at him. “What do you think it’s supposed to mean, James? You look like shit.” She sighed. “I’m not going to be awkward around you. I’m not going to make this difficult and I’m not going to stop loving you, James. You can push me away all you like but guess what? I’m here.” 

James’ eyes widened. She loved him? She’d never told him that. Especially since they had only been together for a few days. He couldn’t even manage a response, all he could do was stare at her in shock. It was way too long before he realised his shock looked more like anger than surprise. But it was probably too late.

“Look, I’m not forcing anything… I’m not going to make you suddenly want to be around me. But you can push me away all you like. I’m still going to be here at the end of the day.” She said. “Go and find your boys, I’ll see you later.” She said and turned her back on him and opened the door. 

James groaned, his hands running through his hair.  _ Good one, Potter,  _ he thought. Well, he had certainly messed that one up well and truly. After a few moments alone in the compartment, he made his way back to the one the Marauders were hanging out in. “Well, that was a disaster.” He said as he flopped down onto one of the seats, his hand covering his eyes under his glasses.

Remus was sitting in the corner watching the door. When James came in, he sat up straighter. “What happened?” He said, making space for his friend. “Please tell me you didn’t push her away anymore.”

"I just said that I didn't know what Dumbledore was thinking, picking me to be Head Boy. And then she went mental saying maybe he picked me so that I'd be forced to look at her." James shook his head, groaning again. "And me, being a pathetic little shit got all defensive. And then she said she loved me, which I don't believe because I've been a right wanker, and stormed out." 

“Oh, James…” Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should stop pushing her away and you could always tell her you love her too…” He said with a smirk.

James just groaned in response and rolled to the side, pressing his face against the back of the seat. "This is so bloody shit." His voice was muffled against the fabric of the seat.

“Then maybe you should make it less shit…” Sirius said, looking up from his book. “Get your head out of your arse, James.”

“Shut up.” James retorted back. “It’s not like I don’t have a reason to be feeling like shit, prick.” Cause he did. He really did.

“James, I’m not telling you to stop feeling shit. You can feel shit all you like, you can cry all you like. But why are you stopping yourself from finding something happy in your life. She wants to make you happy. You’ve been running after that girl for years…” Sirius said and sat up to look at him. 

James rolled back over, looking at his best friend. He had a resigned sort of look on his face, enough time had passed since the funeral that he had accepted that whatever he and Lily had between them, he’d ruined it. He didn’t say anything, just gave Sirius a look that he hoped would convey everything.

“She’s the one who said she loved you.” Remus smirked before moving to rest his head in Sirius’ lap. “Anyway, you should get your robes on, we should be arriving soon…”

James rolled off the seat, accidentally kicking Peter in the process. “Oops, sorry, Wormy.” He pointed his wand at his trunk and it sprung open. He pulled his robes over his head, and repinned his Head Boy badge to the front. 

“Who’d have thought it, James Potter, Head Boy.” Sirius rolled his eyes. Peter snorted slightly looking at James. 

“It should have been me.” He wheezed, brushing down his own robes.

"Yeah right, Wormy." James snorted, glancing at Remus. "Moony was the obvious choice, but even I understand Dumbledore choosing me over you. And Padfoot." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to Sirius. "Hogwarts would burn down if Pads became Head Boy."

“I feel like Dumbledore would need a Head Boy who’s available every day of the month?” Remus quipped. “My furry little problem keeps me at least a little bit busy…” He sat up and sorted his robes out as they came to a stop. 

“That’s fair.” James shrugged, messing up his hair. “If only old Albus knew that we break the law each month to run around with you over the grounds, probably wouldn’t have picked any of us if he did.” 

“That’s a very true fact.” Remus said, leading the group out of the compartment and off the train. “Go on, Head Boy. Lead the troops.” He smirked.

"Oh, shove off." James shook his head, but did jump straight into Head Boy mode, helping a stranded first year make their way over to Hagrid while shepherding others over to the horseless carriages. He kind of hated it, but he also really enjoyed leading. Maybe he was cut out for this after all.

“Hagrid. These guys are the last.” Lily called, leading the last group of children to Hagrid so he could take them on the boats. 

Hagrid thanked Lily and waved at the Marauders when he spotted them, who waved enthusiastically back. James led his friends over to one of the last carriages, many of the others had already started the journey up to the castle.

Lily followed them and saw them getting into a carriage, she looked at James for a second before standing back ready to wait for another one. 

It felt weird, knowing this was the last time they would use these carriages to get to Hogwarts. That they'd be having their last welcoming feast, hear the Sorting Hat's song for the last time. "I can't believe we're seventh years…" 

Remus sat next to James, “We are, and maybe you should start this year right, and not make any mistakes.” He said, indicating to Lily standing on her own. 

James gave Remus a harsh look before leaning over the edge of the carriage. “Evans!” He shouted down to her. “There’s room in here! If you want…” His voice trailed off, his confidence wavering. He assumed that she would turn him down straight away, she was incredibly stubborn after all.

Lily looked around, there really wasn’t anyone left around meaning if she didn’t take up his offer, she’d end up going to the castle alone. “Fine.” She said and climbed up on the carriage just before it started to move. “Thanks…”

“Evans!” Sirius gave a big wet kiss on her cheek, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and tugging her close. “How’s it been, Little Red? Did you faint when you got that delivered?” He flicked her Head Girl badge, smirking at her. James just rolled his eyes and looked out the side of the carriage.

Lily smiled softly. “A little. I wasn’t really expecting it… Mum was really pleased, once I explained what it was…” She said her eyes flicking to James. “Petunia called me a swot. So the usual.” She leant slightly further forward to look at the castle as it came into view. “We’re home.” She said softly.

James snorted when Lily mentioned Petunia, forgetting himself for a moment. “Yeah, well Petunia decided to date Vermin so-” He cut himself off, mentally kicking himself. Stupid idiot, he’d completely slipped back into their old back and forth.

“Oh, they are engaged now. Getting married just before Christmas.” Lily commented. She sat back in her seat, her eyes flicking to Sirius who just shrugged at her. Lily tucked her hair behind both her ears and looked down at the floor. “I forgot how beautiful the thestrals are…” She said quietly.

James’ eyes widened. So Lily’s sister was getting married… How could Vermin Dursley succeed at love and he couldn’t? Then his eyes widened even further and he looked at Lily in surprise. “You can see them too?” 

“Can see what?” Peter asked, looking around for something he was missing. 

“Thestrals, they pull the carriages. Only people who have seen death, can see them.” Remus said softly, his eyes flicking around the group. 

“I’ve been able to see them since third year…” Lily said quietly. 

“I’ve never seen them before.” James whispered, staring at the thestrals with a pang in his gut. He had been in the room when his mother had passed, had held her hand. He could feel tears start to well up as he thought about it, and he quickly turned his head to look out the side of the carriage again, staring at the trees as they passed.

“You’ll see them in the forest when they aren’t doing this.” Remus said quietly. “Not that we would be in there, seen as the Head Boy here will tell us off.” Remus forced a small laugh and Peter joined in. 

Lily moved in her seat, as if she was going to stand up and move. But she quickly stopped herself and ran her hands over her face. 

James didn’t react to what Remus said. In fact, he didn’t even hear him. This kept happening, him getting lost in his own head, disassociating. Supposedly it was natural after such a devastating loss, but James hated it when he came back to his senses. He felt vulnerable, being so unaware of what was happening around him. He felt it made him weak.

Remus noticed it immediately, giving Lily a look that he hoped would say ‘this happens all the time’. 

Lily caught the look from Remus. She mouthed ‘What helps?’ to him, and Remus shrugged in reply. Lily stood up and moved to sit next to James. She took his hand like she did at the funeral before looking back up at the castle, saying nothing, but she hoped her actions said a lot.

Unlike at the funeral, this time James knew immediately who it was who had taken his hand. He didn't run from it, in fact he actually gave her hand a squeeze. He blinked. That was one way to bring him back to himself. He didn't stop staring out the side of the carriage though.

When James didn’t let go, Lily relaxed slightly. She started making small talk with the rest of the Marauders about the upcoming school year. “What about you and Marlene?” Lily asked softly.

“We decided to go our separate ways…” Sirius said with a small shrug. “It was mutual. No point in spending our last year at Hogwarts tied down.” Sirius winked at Lily.

Remus had a small smile on his lips when Sirius mentioned his and Marlene's break up, but didn't mention anything about it.

"I don't know why you'd break up with anyone as  _ smoking  _ as Marlene, Padfoot." Peter said, shaking his head. "I'd give a hand and a leg to be with her."

“Well Peter, you know Mary is single again…” Lily said looking over at Peter. “She broke up with Benjy over summer.” Lily raised her eyebrow at him but said nothing more.

Peter blushed, his cheeks going bright red. "Oh dear, Lily." Remus laughed. "You've hit the nail on the head there. Old Pete here's been pining after Mary for quite some time now." 

Sirius meanwhile roared with laughter. "Wormtail and Mary! You've got to be joking, Red!"

“Hey, I didn’t say anything. But I know they ended up being herbology partners in first year and we got stuck with Mary talking about him for weeks. I’m not saying anything though.” She said and softly squeezed James’ hand. 

“Well Sirius, now you’re the singleton, are you going to be out playing the field? Maybe you could beat Peter to it.” Lily poked her tongue out at Sirius. 

Sirius scrunched his nose up at Lily. "Nah. Mary's nice and all, but that's just it. She’s  _ nice.  _ No, maybe I'll try something a bit different for a change, broaden my horizons." He stretched back in his chair, his arms supporting his head as he looked up at the darkening sky. "Who knows, maybe I'll bang a dude next."

That brought James back. He choked on air, wheezing slightly. "Bloody hell, Pads!" He croaked, clutching his chest. "Way to bring me back to the present!"

Lily kept her eyes on Sirius when he spoke and saw Remus in the corner of her eye rub the back of his neck. “I heard Frank Longbottom is good in bed.” Lily said with a small smile. “You’ll have to fight Alice for him though…”

James looked at Lily with wide eyes. What ever happened to that shy girl? Then he remembered the broom cupboard and blushed, looking away again. He really hoped she didn't notice the pink tint his cheeks had gained. 

Lily really enjoyed the fact James still hadn’t let go of her hand, she looked up at Sirius as he continued to laugh. “Alice is too feisty for me.” He smirked before winking at Remus. 

“Come on.” Remus said to the group as he climbed off the carriage.

James jumped down from the carriage, and helped Lily get out too. But once both their feet had hit the ground, and they were around other students again, his hand loosened around hers and fell back to his side. He didn't dare look at her, instead leading the group the rest of the way to the castle.

They all made their way into the castle and into the Great Hall, taking their seats at the table. Lily sat in between Remus and Dorcas and Marlene and Sirius sat across from them. James was a bit further away but Lily could still see him. 

James watched as Dumbledore got to his feet, beginning his usually short and odd speech before all of the food appeared on the tables in front of them. James had lost his appetite since his parents died, so only took what he knew he needed to survive. Sirius meanwhile piled his plate up high as he could.

Lily ate enough food, as she usually did. A few times Dorcas and Marlene tried to talk to her about James and she kicked them under the table. “Saving space for pudding, Potter?” Marlene called from across the table. 

"Shut up, McKinnon." James said through gritted teeth, stabbing a potato a little more aggressively than usual. The hand that wasn't holding his fork was clenched into a tight fist. It was obvious he had lost weight over the summer, he had bags under his eyes and his skin seemed almost translucent. He was grieving, of course he wouldn't be as perky or hungry as he used to be. 

Marlene’s smile dropped quickly over her face, she looked at Sirius and then Lily who both just shrugged. Marlene started up a conversation with some other people at the table and Lily stood up and walked over to perch near James. “Hey…” She said softly. 

"Hey." He said back, still staring down at his half eaten meal, not feeling hungry at all anymore. "Sorry… I, well, sorry I'm being so difficult." He whispered, chewing on his lip anxiously.

“You really aren’t being difficult, James. I was a mess after my dad died. I barely spoke to anyone. I was snappy and bitchy. It’s okay. It happens.” She rubbed his arm lightly. “But you need to start looking after yourself. If your mum could see you picking at your food right now, what do you think she would say?” Lily said softly. 

James smiled, thinking about what his mum  _ would  _ say. “She’d probably smack me up the back of the head and tell me to eat like she brought me up to.” He looked up at her, finally looking in her eyes.  _ Shit, they were so green.  _ “And tell me to still find happiness.” He added as a whisper.

“Right…” She said with a small smile before hitting him on the back of the head, “Eat like your mother brought you up to.” She said, loud enough that people looked around at them. “Better?” She said softly before moving forward and kissing him on the cheek. She stood up and returned to her own seat. 

James blushed, pressing his fingers to the place that she had kissed him before looking back at his plate. “Sorry, Mum.” He whispered to no one who was physically there, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. Then he did as Lily had instructed and continued to eat until his plate was clear. 

Lily smiled softly and joined in the conversation at the table. When dinner came to an end Lily stood up and went over to the first years. “Hello. I’m Lily, I’ll be your Head Girl. If you’d like to follow me, I’ll take you up to our common room and show you where the dorms are.” She said with a bright smile. 

James realised he should probably be helping her out a bit, so leapt to his feet. He walked pretty quickly over. “Need a hand, Evans?” He nudged her shoulder a bit, walking with her as they started to head out of the Great Hall.

“Everyone, this is your Head Boy. James Potter. He likes to allude under the statement, do as I say, not as I do.” She called out to the group behind her before turning back to walk with him. “You seem perkier.” 

“Well, it was quite nice to hear from my mother.” He said softly, after nodding along to Lily’s statement to the first years about him. “And I guess it’s good to be back here. I’ve never found somewhere that makes me feel as happy as I do here.”

“I may have only known her a few days… But I know a lot about what she thinks of you.” Lily nudged him as they walked. “As I said, Hogwarts is home.” Lily stood in front of the portrait hole. “This is the entrance, you will say the password and the portrait will open.” She turned to look at the Fat Lady. “Thunderbird.” The Fat Lady smiled and opened the door for them to walk through. 

James stood back and grinned at the first years as they looked at the common room in awe. “Remember when we were like that, Evans? So pure and innocent.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall.

“You were never pure and innocent.” Lily quipped. “Boys' dormitories are upstairs and down to your left, girls are the same on your right. All your belongings will be on your beds. If you need anything you have your prefects and teachers, both myself and James will always be happy to help.” Lily smiled at the students as they went up the stairs.

“Well, a successful first day as Head Boy and Head Girl, I think.” James grinned, his eyebrow raising as he looked at her. He was trying to get back to being friendly with her. He doubted that she would be willing to pick up where they had left off, but he guessed friendship would have to suffice.

“Yeah, I think that was pretty good.” She turned to look up at him, lifting her chin to look into his face. “It would be better if you kissed me.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He whispered, stepping backwards. “S-Sorry…” James stammered, backing out of the portrait hole.

Lily sighed and watched him leave. “Shit…” She looked down at her feet before heading up to her own dormitory. 


	7. Chapter 7

After a few days of settling back into life at school, Hogwarts returned to its usual routine. James had been spending less time with Lily, still feeling quite awkward about their whole breakup and friendship situation. It was just after Divination, and James and Sirius were walking down a corridor, on their way to dinner. 

“Alright Potter.” Lily called out, walking behind him. “Nice arse.” She smirked and winked at him. 

James spun around, mouth open with shock. "Wh-Wh…" He sputtered, lost for words. Sirius meanwhile laughed loudly.

"Oh, nice one, Evans!" Sirius said, catching on to what she was doing. He raised his hand to her for a high five.

Lily high-fived Sirius before reaching over, slapping James on the bum. “So, patrol tonight then?” She winked at him. 

James stared at her, surprise all over his face. Had she really-? What was she thinking? “Uh… Uh, yeah… That was what we agreed?” He stammered, very much confused as to what the hell had come over her. The past few days Lily had been outrageously flirtatious with him, and it was starting to get very difficult to stay as just her friend, to control himself.

“Perfect.” She smiled at him. “It’s a date.” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and started to walk away. 

"That girl is going to kill me, Pads…" James whispered to Sirius, watching as she sauntered away. "Bloody hell…" He groaned, running his hand through his hair. 

“Maybe you should give in. I don’t think you have the strength she had…” Sirius said and nudged his brother. 

"I- I can't, Sirius." James sighed, continuing to walk down to the Great Hall. "I can't risk hurting her again. I know I will, I'm too much of a mess to risk putting her heart on the line. I need to fix mine first."

“Yeah… Well maybe she can help.” Sirius said with a shrug. “She can deal with some hurt once in a while. If even I’m saying it, it might mean it’s true…” 

"You know, you need to stop having a brain." James said, lightly punching Sirius' shoulder. "Since when have you been rational?"

“Maybe since you stopped… no you’ve never been rational. Probably since I shagged Moony then…” Sirius smirked and continued down the stairs. 

It took James a moment to register what Sirius had said. But once it had, he raced after his best friend. "Wait, WHAT? Padfoot! Tell me you're joking?!"

“Of course I’m joking.” Sirius laughed and brushed his hair back with his hand. “So, date with Lily tonight eh?”

James rolled his eyes. "We're patrolling the castle. That's hardly a date. And I've told you what I think." He pushed open the doors to the Great Hall, heading over to the Gryffindor table. 

“She said it was a date. Maybe you should do something with your hair.” Sirius smirked sitting down next to Remus. 

“What’s this?” Remus said, sipping his goblet of pumpkin juice. “Lily still ‘pulling a Prongs’ and harassing him until he caves into dating her again?” He smirked, looking at James with a knowing look.

“I hate you guys.” James sighed, piling food onto his plate. Since Lily had spoken to him that first night back at the castle, his appetite had returned.

“Speaking of…” Sirius looked up as Lily sat down next to him with Marlene and Dorcas. 

“You boys are talking about me again.” She winked at James and turned back to Marlene continuing their conversation. 

“Oh, bloody hell.” James whispered, his hand pushing under his glasses so he could rub his eyes. “What have I gotten myself into?”

Remus simply smirked at him, knowing that he was close to caving.

Sirius nudged Remus and continued to eat his food, saying nothing. The group stayed at the table till the end of dinner and when the plates disappeared Lily stood up. “Come on then.” She said, standing behind James. 

“Yeah.” James said softly, getting to his feet. Merlin, he was nervous. This would be the first time they would be with just each other since the prefects compartment on the Hogwarts Express. And he just hoped they didn’t end up arguing again. “Let’s go.”

Lily nodded and they walked out of the Great Hall. “Don’t worry… I’m not going to be an arse to you all evening… I might be wanting to make a point… but I can’t keep that up for hours.” She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“It is a tough life, being an arse.” James replied, still not quite looking her in the eyes. They started their usual route, walking through the corridors, checking that no malfeasance was occuring.

“Really tough. No idea how you did it for so many years.” Lily giggled and continued their route. “So how are you doing?” She asked, trying to fill in the silence. 

"I'm-" James started, but cut himself off. How was he feeling? Better than he had back at home, but by no means back to himself. "I'm healing."

“Healing is good. I don’t expect you to be suddenly okay.” She said and let her hand brush against his. “As long as you are safe and taking each day as they come.” 

“I miss them.” James breathed, his eyes closing for a moment. “I keep- I keep thinking of things that I want to write to them about… But then I remember that they’re gone, and the hole in my heart I’m trying to heal rips open again.” One lone tear slipped down his cheek. “I’m… I’m sorry for being so awful, Lily. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“Then write to them, James.” Lily stopped in front of him and put her hands on his arms. “Write down what you feel, write down what you are thinking. It’s okay to do that.” She moved her hand up and brushed the tear off his cheek. “You didn’t hurt me. You could never… not like that.” 

James couldn’t help himself, he looked into her eyes. His breath caught in his throat, his heart stopped racing. Looking into her eyes, he just felt serene, peaceful. And he realised what an idiot he’d been. Sirius was right, he needed _her_ in order to heal. His eyes flicked up and with a jolt he realised which corridor they were in. Smiling, he took her hand and pretty much dragged her a little further down, stopping in front of a doorway. Still grinning, he pulled open the door to the broom cupboard and gently backed her in. Once the door shut behind them, he crashed his lips onto hers.

“James…” She began to say before his lips were on hers. She kissed him back, moving her hands up his chest to around his neck, pushing them up to his hair. He was kissing her… He was kissing her again. Her skin tingled and she held him close. She broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his. “James, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

“Go out with me, Evans.” He said softly, moving his lips to press gentle kisses to her neck. He had said those five words so many times over the years, yet this time he knew he would like the answer. He pressed her up against the wall of the cupboard, his lips still attacking her neck in the most wonderful way. Every inch of her body was pressed against his, and Merlin, did it feel just perfect.

Lily moved her head back so he had better access to her neck, her hands gripped at his shoulders and her eyes fluttered closed. When he spoke, she smiled and moved her hands to bring his face to hers. “No.” She said directly to his face. “Of course I will, you idiot.” She kissed him again, jumping up into his arms. 

James grinned against her lips, using his body to hold her up against the wall. He used one arm to push her legs to wrap around his waist while the other slid up her side, accidentally untucking her shirt from her skirt. She was so warm. He kissed her deeply, definitely making up for lost time.

Lily kissed him back, hard. She pulled at his hair and ran her nails across his back. “Damn, James.” She said against his lips. “James…”

“Mmm…” Was all he had to say in response, pressing kisses against her jaw and back down her neck again. As usual, her top button was done up, her tie tight. He managed to loosen it and opened her shirt button, so he had more neck to kiss.

“James!” Lily gasped, she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away. “Too much…” She said softly. She brushed down her hair. “We can’t…”

“Shit!” He gasped, coming back to his senses when she stopped him. “Lil, I’m so sorry…” His face went bright red, his pupils still blown wide. “I… I got carried away.”

“You don’t need to apologise.” She said, doing up her shirt and fixing her tie. “It was good… Nice.. I just…” Lily blushed and bit her lip. “Maybe we shouldn’t jump too quickly into things… In a broom cupboard.”

“Our broom cupboard.” James chuckled, kissing her nose. “Sorry again… I just needed some time. But it really was you I needed.” Nervously, he licked his lips. “Did you mean it? What you said on the train?”

“Don’t make me say it again.” Lily said, looking up at him. “This is not our broom cupboard and this is not a story we will be telling our children in years to come.” She smirked at him before heading to the door. 

Much like the last time they were in this cupboard, James didn’t follow her. “Our… Our children?” He said softly, staring at her. 

“You think you are getting rid of me that easily? You spent years on this.” She indicated to herself. “You’ve got me for a good while. Come on.” She said and reached out to take his hand. 

James grinned at her, taking her hand. They walked out of the cupboard and straight into Remus, who had a pretend stern look on his face, his arms folded. But James could see the smile in his eyes. “Well, well, well...” Remus said. “What a great example being set by our new Head Boy and Girl.”

“And you’ll keep it to yourself.” Lily said, frowning at Remus. But she looked back at James and smiled. “Cat’s out of the bag.”

“I’m not worried.” He grinned and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “And you can shut up, Moony.” He said to Remus, giving him a pointed look.

Remus raised his hands in defence, but his stern look had broken into a smile. “I didn’t say anything!”

“I could feel the ‘I-told-you-so’ coming off you in waves.” James said, but he still turned to smile again at Lily. His girlfriend.

“Shouldn’t you be in the dormitory? It’s not your patrol.” Lily said, folding her arms while looking at Remus. She then started to laugh.

“You must have been in there longer than I thought.” Remus snorted. “I’m here to take over from you lovebirds. You’re done with your patrol.” 

James let out a cackle, but his cheeks did get tinted pink. How long _had_ they been in the cupboard?

“Oh…” Lily blushed. “Right… All yours Remus… Have a good night.” She said and took James’ hand, leading him towards the common room. 

James was still chuckling as they walked, unbelievably happy. Had he smiled this much since his parents had passed? Probably not. He could almost feel them smiling at him, could almost feel their pride. “Lil?” James said, squeezing her hand.

Lily stopped as soon as he said her name, she turned around to look him over. “James?” She said softly.

“D-Did you…?” He sighed and cleared his throat, trying again. “Are you okay with people finding out about us? Over summer, when we were- before… Before everything happened, it was just our friends who knew. But here, it’s going to be so much more serious than that.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And Snape-”

Lily winced at his words, she looked back up at him. “James. I don’t care what other people think. I care that… I care about you, James. I want to be with you. If other people have a problem with that… Well I really just don’t care about it.” Lily smiled. “I’m yours if you’ll have me.” She said and reached up to kiss him. 

James hummed into the kiss, his hands holding her by the waist. When they broke apart, he still held her close. “How did I get so lucky?” He smiled warmly, kissing her once more. “Wanna tell the whole school by snogging at breakfast?” He chuckled, his thumb stroking her hip.

“You really are an arse sometimes.” Lily rolled her eyes and swotted his arm. “Come on. Sirius will get worried if I don’t bring you back before nine.” Lily smirked. 

“Hmm, maybe I just want you all to myself.” James grinned, pressing a kiss just behind her ear. But she was right. He looped his arm around her waist as they continued their walk back to the common room. He just wanted to keep her close.

“We’ll have enough time for that. You’ll be stuck with me for a long time.” She said softly, resting her head against his arm. She stayed close until they got to the portrait hole and made their way inside.

James pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and after climbing through the portrait hole, his arm immediately found its way around her again. He heard Sirius let out a whoop of delight, along with gasps from people who knew them. “Do you wanna find a quiet spot to sit and ignore everyone else, or do you wanna face the music, love?” He asked Lily, leaning close to her ear.

Lily just rolled her eyes at the others, she took James’ hand and took him over to the sofa next to Sirius. She pulled James down and placed her legs over him, laying back on the sofa. Using her wand, she conjured her parchment and a quill and started writing one of her essays. 

James’ hand immediately came to rest on her leg, his thumb stroking it absentmindedly. He could feel Sirius’ eyes on them. “Get over it, Pads, it’s not like you’ve never seen us as a couple before.” He didn’t even look at his friend, not needing to. He knew him too well. 

“So she got you in a couple of weeks and it took you years… Got any tips, Evans?” Sirius smirked, putting his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Ew, Pads!” James teased, shoving his friend. “You want tips on how to woo me? I thought we were brothers, man. That’s just plain gross.” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows. 

“You two. Shut up.” Lily groaned and rolled her eyes, continuing to write her essay. 


	8. Chapter 8

James was waiting in the common room for Lily, who had run upstairs to drop off her bag. They had a free period together, and instead of studying they had decided to go for a walk across the grounds. He’d been so excited to tell all of their friends that they were officially back together, and they had also garnered quite a few stares in the corridors over the past few days. News had travelled fast. James Potter had finally won over Lily Evans.

Lily headed back down the stairs from the girl’s dormitory to the common room. She stopped on the bottom step, looking over at James. She watched him for a few moments, smiling. How on earth had she started dating James Potter? She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. “Ready when you are.”

James slipped his hand into hers, grinning as he led them through the portrait hole. It was a nice day outside, not too hot or too cold. It was also the middle of the morning, which meant most people were in lessons, so the grounds were fairly empty. They managed to make it as far as the lake before they were stopped. By none other than Severus Snape.

Snape was glaring at James, his eyes like daggers. “So… It’s true.” He seethed, glancing to Lily. “You really stooped that low.”

Lily almost let go of James’ hand when Severus appeared, but she quickly stopped herself. “I didn’t stoop anywhere, Severus.” She said and squeezed James’ hand. “Why don’t you go off and worship the Dark Lord you love so much?” 

Snape’s eyes narrowed, and James noticed that his hand was in his pocket, most likely gripping his wand. “Why should you care, Snape? Get over it. She doesn’t want you.” He snarled in response, his own hand tightening around his wand.

“Shut your mouth, Potter.” Snape spat. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“James, stop it.” She said, putting her hand on her boyfriend’s arm. “Just leave us alone, Severus.”

But Snape made a sudden movement with his arm. James was too quick for him. In a flash of blue light, Snape was on his back on the ground, his face covered with weird flapping wings. James let out a horrible laugh. “Nice try, Snivellus.”

Lily stepped away from both of them. “Stop it. Both of you.” Lily pulled out her own wand and sent the counter jinx at Snape. “Just stop it.”

“He was going to do it first!” James defended himself angrily as Snape got to his feet, and with an icy glare, stormed away. “It’s not my fault that I’m quicker and better at magic than him.”

“That’s not the point, James.” Lily huffed and started walking away from him.

James groaned, setting off after her. “Lily! Lily, don’t walk away from me!” He grabbed her by the elbow, pulling her so that she turned to face him. “You know he deserved it! He’s a Death Eater wannabe, for Merlin’s sake! Just because he was your friend once doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s a creep and a pathetic excuse for a wizard!” 

“James, just stop it. I don’t want to hear it.” She sighed. “Stop fighting people.” She turned around to look at him, “Just stop fighting people, James. You know after we leave this place that’s all there will be. All we have will be fighting. So what’s the point in doing it now? Stop seeking out the fight!” 

“I can’t stand by and let him say those things!” His voice was rising in volume, his skin starting to prickle. “How can you? He’s bitter because he’s obsessed with you. He’s joined the ranks of the evil bastards who want to kill and eradicate people like you? Yet he thinks he has the right to comment on who you decide to be with? He thinks that  _ he  _ is better for you than me?” James was gesticulating wildly, his hands flying about in anger. He didn’t mean to say these things to Lily, but his anger towards Snape had reached a peak, and it was all coming out in a fit of rage. “I’m sorry I hexed him. I’m sorry I acted without thinking. But you can’t deny that if I hadn’t done something, one of us could be severely injured. Or have you forgotten what happened the last time Snape was able to cast a curse my way?” He pointed his finger to the thin scar on his cheek, the permanent reminder of the time Snape had sliced at his skin with magic, the day after the Defense Against The Dark Arts O.W.L. “I can’t let him do that to you, Lily..”

“Protego is a damn charm, James.” Lily ran her hands through her hair, watching him rage. “I know, I get it. He’s a bloody monster. But you’re not, Jamie, you’re just not. So don’t sink to his level, I don’t care about him, I never will again.” She stepped forward, moving her hand up to brush the scar on his cheek. “He won't hurt me. Just ignore him, for now, while we are here.”

James lifted his hand so that it rested atop Lily’s, anchoring it to his cheek. He leaned into her touch, gazing into her eyes. “I’m sorry.” He breathed, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m just afraid. I couldn’t stand it if you were hurt.”

“I know. I know that, Jamie.” She sighed and reached up to kiss him. “But I’m not hurt. I’m good. I’m also rather good at looking after myself. So maybe let me do that once in a while…” She moved back and folded her arms. “I’m still mad at you though.”

“I know you can look after yourself.” He said softly, twisting his hands together as she stepped away from him. “You’re one of the smartest and powerful witches in our year, hell, in the whole school.” James sighed, and fought back the urge to step forwards, making sure to give her distance if that's what she wanted. “And I don’t blame you for being mad. I just hope you can understand  _ why. _ ”

“It’s alright. I’m always mad at you.” She rolled her eyes at him, arms crossing against her chest. “Are we going on this walk or what?” She said.

“Right… Yes.” He smiled at her and held out his hand for her to take, ignoring the fact that it was still shaking with adrenaline. “If you would still like to, I’m all for it.”

\---

_ CRACK! _

Sirius’ head snapped backwards, his hands moving to cover his throbbing nose. Remus stood back, shaking out his hand with a look of utter rage on his face. “What the hell, Moony?!”

“How dare you!” Remus groaned, clutching his hand against his chest. “How  _ fucking  _ dare you?” He spat at the man he had always classed as a friend. 

“Moony, b-be c-careful.” Peter stuttered, moving his hand out as if to touch Remus’ arm but not having the guts to actually do it.

“Shut up, Pete.” James said, his voice low. He had his arms crossed, standing to the side as he glared at Sirius. He had a massive gash across his shoulder, his jumper torn and bloody. But he barely felt the pain given to him by the Whomping Willow, his anger too prevalent for him to notice the stinging wound. 

“Oh, come on.” Sirius said, dabbing at his bleeding nose with his sleeve. “I get that I fucked up, but Dumbledore has made the bastard swear not to tell. So what’s the big deal?”

Remus stared at Sirius, his mouth hanging open slightly. “The big deal?” He sneered at him before throwing himself at Sirius and knocked them both to the ground. “The big deal is…” He punched Sirius again. “If someone finds out that I’m a werewolf, my whole life is over. If someone finds out that I nearly killed a seventeen year old boy, I will be sent to Azkaban, Sirius. I’ll be trapped there for years, stuck in my own head, ripping my whole fucking body apart month after month. So what’s the  _ fucking  _ big deal, Sirius?” Remus said, his body screaming in pain as he looked down at the man underneath him. 

James let Remus get a few punches in before rushing over to haul him off of Sirius, wrapping his arms around his middle. “Remus, stop.” He said, not letting him go until he calmed down. “He’s not even worth it right now. Don’t exhaust yourself.”

Sirius blinked up at the two of them, blood now trickling from his lip as well as his nose. He carefully pushed himself up onto one elbow, his sleeve smearing the blood across his cheek. He coughed slightly, his whole face throbbing now thanks to Remus. “Let’s get up to the castle.” He murmured, moving his eyes to James instead. “It’s almost light, we don’t want to be caught out here.”

“S-s-sounds good.” Peter muttered, quickly heading towards the castle, looking like the only clean one of the group. 

Remus pushed himself out of James' grip, stumbling forward slightly. It had been a rough transformation after he nearly killed Severus, the wolf aching to get his claws on the teen. He moved a hand to the back of his neck before following after Sirius. He looked to James, still raging but knowing to control it. 

Sirius stormed off ahead, leading the group up to the castle without looking back. James stayed by Remus’ side, really feeling the pain in his shoulder now. “I’ve still got some of that dittany in my trunk.” He said quietly to Remus. “You’ve got some nasty scrapes there too.”

“I’m used to scrapes…” Remus shrugged and looked over James. “Please tell me that wasn’t me…” He said, indicating his head to the gash in James’ arm. 

James shook his head, rolling his shoulder with a wince. He could feel a drop of blood working its way down his back, which was very uncomfortable to say the least. “No, don’t worry. Bloody Willow thwacked me when I yanked Snape away from you. I’ve had worse.” He gave Remus a strained smile as they walked into the Entrance Hall, beginning the long climb up the stairs to the portrait hole. 

“Well, maybe you need the dittany more than me…” Remus shrugged, slowing down as it came to the stairs. Pomfrey had told him he could make his own way back to the dormitory after transformations, but if he needed assistance he would come to the hospital wing. Really he should have been heading there, but all he really wanted was sleep. He put a lot of weight onto the bannisters as they walked up, his breathing heavy. 

“We’re almost there, mate.” James said, putting his hand on Remus’ back in an attempt to steady him. “At least it's a Saturday. I wouldn’t fancy having to go to class like this.” He looked up to see Sirius and Peter quite far ahead of them, Peter trotting along behind Sirius nervously. 

“I’m good, worry about yourself for once, Prongs.” Remus said, his eyes flicking to the two boys in front of them. Remus picked up the pace as they walked along the flat corridor, his longer legs helping their speed. By the time the portrait hole was open, they’d caught up. 

Lily was sitting asleep in the armchair, her open book in her lap. She opened her eyes slowly as she heard noise, looking up to see the four Marauders walk into the common room. She kept quiet, not wanting to disturb them, but she nearly jumped up when she noticed their injuries. 

Sirius flopped down on the sofa in the common room, which was probably a good idea. He pressed his face against a cushion, trying hard not to groan in pain. James gingerly pressed a hand to his own shoulder, wincing at the sting. “Come on.” He said softly, just in case anyone was awake in the dormitories. Not one of the four boys noticed Lily in her armchair. “Let’s heal ourselves up and get some sleep.” At his words, Remus and Peter both made to head up the staircase to the boy’s dormitory. James took a second to glance back at Sirius before shaking his head, following his two other friends up the stairs.

“I can fix that for you, if you want.” Lily said, once the other boys were gone. “But it also looks like you might deserve it, so I won't be offended if you say no…” She said closing her book and stretching back against the chair. 

“Merlin’s saggy ballsack, Evans.” Sirius yelped, rolling over at the sound of her voice. “Warn a man before you scare the hell out of him.” He lay on his back on the sofa, his head turned to look at her. “You’re very good at blending in.”

“It’s the red on red, I’m a true Gryffindor.” She smirked, but pulled her wand out of her bag and pointed it at him. “Episkey.” She said, fixing his broken nose. “Wouldn't want it to ruin your good looks, eh?”

“Cheers, Red.” Sirius said, pressing his fingers to his newly healed nose. “It would put a dent in my reputation to say the least.” He sighed and turned his head to look up at the ceiling. “Don’t ask me any questions about this all, please. You’re gonna have to talk to Remus if you possibly want an answer as to what we were up to.”

“I’m not asking… It’s your business not mine…” She shrugged, moving back to curl up in the chair. “As long as, well… I’m hoping as long as what ever happened doesn’t happen again, you all look rough…”

Sirius ran his hand over his face, trying to bite back a groan. “Let’s just say… I think Remus is done being friends with me. Your boyfriend too, even though we live together.” He sighed again, his eyes squeezing shut. 

“You boys will fix it. You always do.” Lily stood up, grabbing a blanket off another chair and placed it over Sirius. “Now, have a nap, you look bloody exhausted.” She said, patting the side of his face with her hand before taking her book and heading up to the girl’s dormitory.

\---

Lily sat in the corner of the library, everyone else had already made their way back to the common room. “So, I have a question, Remus… Because the other boys won't tell me.” She said, looking over the top of her book. She had waited till she got him alone, in case it was something that others weren’t meant to know. “When you four came into the common room, battered and bruised early in the morning, can you please tell me what happened?”

“What?” Remus said, his eyes wide as he looked at her. His quill was pressed against the parchment, an inkblot already starting to form. “I- We- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He scribbled out the now ruined word he had been writing, starting over again to continue with his Ancient Runes essay. “I think you’ve been dreaming, Lily.”

Lily closed her book, looking over at him with a stern expression. “Remus, you deem me far too intelligent to use the excuse ‘you were dreaming’...” She smirked and threw her spare quill at him. “Look, I get that it’s probably illegal and you don’t want to get into trouble, I get it. I just want to know that I don’t have to worry about you four more than I already do. I’m not prying, I’m really not. But I just want to know you are safe. I care about you boys, not just James.”

Remus sighed, setting his quill down now. “Yeah… I did promise James that I would tell you at some point anyway. He’s hated lying to you, but he’s also been very respectful that it’s not his information to tell.” He ran his fingers over the ridged scar on his jaw, one from years ago. “I just… I don’t want to lose your friendship because of it, I didn’t want to tell anyone at all while I was here.”

Lily sat up in her chair, she placed the book down on the small table in front of them. “Remus, you don’t have to be afraid of telling me anything, you are one of the people I’m closest to. You can tell me anything, Merlin, you could tell me you were in a relationship with the Giant Squid and I’d probably just judge you a little bit…” She smiled brightly at him. 

Remus chuckled slightly, still feeling incredibly nervous. “Nah, we both know the Giant Squid is your area of expertise, if you saying to James that you’d rather date a cephalopod than him is anything to go by.” He smiled, avoiding her eye. “No, it’s nothing like that.” He drew in a shaky breath before continuing. “Well uh, you’ve probably noticed that I get sick a lot. And am covered in scars all of the time. Unfortunately those things aren’t very easy to hide.”

“Rude.” Lily laughed but kept a straight face when he began to speak again. “I am aware, but I haven’t… I didn’t want to ask, it’s your business not mine, as long as you are safe.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while anyway, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.” He sighed, keeping his eyes trained on his essay. “I’m- I’m a werewolf, Lily. That’s why I disappear once a month, and why I’m always so tired.” 

“Right.” Lily smiled at him and nodded. “So you are keeping yourself safe right? Like they are looking after you? Potions and stuff for the pain?” She asked, placing her hand on Remus’ arm. 

Remus looked at her in surprise, not quite believing that she seemed so unfazed by it. “Well there isn’t really anything to help with it. But Dumbledore has helped, I’m the reason why the Whomping Willow got planted, and why the Shrieking Shack shrieks. There’s a passageway beneath the tree running straight through to Hogsmeade. But that’s all that anyone could do really. It’s more than I deserve really.” He murmured at the end, running his hands over his face.

“No, don’t you dare.” Lily said a bit too loudly and heard Madam Pince shh her. “Sorry, I don’t want to hear anything bad about you, even coming from you.” She said, a small frown on her face. “At least you are safe enough… I really don’t think I want to know how the other three are involved in this…” She said, folding her arms and sitting back and looking at him. “Remus… Severus has had theories about you for years… I’m not sure if you know that…”

“I’m going to let James explain that to you, it’s his story to tell.” Remus said, returning his gaze to her face. “And yeah, I know about Snape. He- Well, he knows for definite about me now.” His fists clenched, his eyes flashing with anger. “If you saw us coming through the portrait hole that morning then you would know that I’m not exactly on best terms with Sirius right now.”

“Yeah… He came and slept on the sofa in the common room while I was studying that morning. He didn’t look in a good place…” Lily said with a soft smile. “I’m sure things will work themselves out.” She stood up and wrapped an arm around Remus’ shoulder. “They always do…”

“Thanks, Lily.” Remus smiled softly, leaning into her side. “I’m still going to punish him for being an arsehole though, he deserves it. But the library probably isn’t the best place for me to go into detail about what happened the other night. Just know that Sirius deserves one of your slaps if you decide to give him one. I know they’re pretty ferocious.”

“I’ll always dish out a slap if it’s for your honour. Come on, Rem. Let’s go back upstairs, before Pince kicks us out.” She whispered to him before grabbing her books. They both quickly made their way out and walked down the corridors. “I now understand Moony… Let’s not talk about the theories Marlene and I have about that nickname.” She winked at him and carried on walking. 


	9. Chapter 9

“So, I find a piece of parchment on my pillow that just says meet me by the lake. So either you are going to murder me, or something a bit more fun…” Lily said as she walked over to James.

James was lounging beneath his favourite tree by the lake. It had some sour memories, especially  _ that  _ memory from fifth year, but he and Lily had spent many hours down by it these last few months. It was cold out, winter had settled over Hogwarts, but it was still his favourite place to come. 

At the sound of his girlfriend’s voice, he leapt to his feet, grinning widely. “Hello, gorgeous.” He said, giving her a brief kiss when she got close to him. “No murder I promise.”

Lily smirked, “Well if it’s not murder…” Lily looked up at him. “Then it is far too cold for the other thing…” Lily rolled her eyes at him, but still squeezed his arm. 

"You're gonna be the death of me, you know that right?" James said, his voice growing deep and seductive. He pressed a kiss to her lips, wrapping her up in his arms.

“Oh, I know. That’s why I like it.” She smirked, she reached up and kissed him again. “So what did you drag me out of bed for?” She asked softly.

"Well… Um…" He started, messing up his hair nervously. "Sorry to force you out into the cold, but I needed space and to be far enough away from prying eyes to be able to talk to you about this." He said, his cheeks growing pink and not because of the cold.

“Well, you know I’m not exactly one to shout about people’s secrets, am I?” Lily said with a smile. She looked over at him, seeing him acting weird. “What do you want to tell me?”

"So, I know Remus told you about his  _ furry little problem.  _ And I thought since we are committed to this relationship, we shouldn't have any secrets between us." James took a deep breath, looking at her nervously. "Since we figured it all out, myself, Sirius and Peter all decided to become Animagi, as werewolves don't attack animals. And just in case you don't believe me…" He took a step back from her, glanced around to check the coast was clear and transformed into his stag form.

“I wish you w-” Lily froze as he transformed into a stag. She stood staring at her boyfriend, her mouth open. She waited for a few moments before moving forward to touch his face, her hand sliding up to his antlers. “Prongs…” She muttered, more to herself than to him. 

James nudged his nose into her hand when she touched him, trying to smile but knowing he couldn't when in his animagus form. He gave her a while to look at him before he transformed back, looking quite sheepish. "Please don't be mad at us… We just wanted to help our friend… And we have! He's said his transformations haven't been nearly as bad since we've been with him." 

Lily held up her hand in front of her and waited for him to stop speaking. “First of all, you held a mandrake in your mouth for a month. A month.” She said with wide eyes, still looking at him. “Second of all, you are with him during transformations? That is stupidly dangerous.” She ran her tongue along her teeth and raised an eyebrow at him. “Third of all…” She pulled out her wand. “Expecto Patronum!” A graceful doe burst out of her wand and walked around the couple. 

James' eyes grew wide, and he stared at her patronus. "A doe?" He whispered, looking at her. "Merlin's beard…" 

“Yeah, don’t go getting all soppy on me…” Lily said and put her wand away again. “Are you all staying safe?” She asked, a serious tone to her voice. 

"Yes." He breathed, still staring at her in amazement. "We all get a little beaten up sometimes, except Pete since he's a rat." He chuckles and shook his head. "Sorry… I just can't believe-" He beamed at her, knowing it was now or never. "I'm in love with you."

“Of course you are. I’m great.” She grinned at him and moved forward, kissing him again. “I was thinking…” She said against his lips. “Want to come to my sister's wedding over the Christmas holidays? You can come and take the mick out of Vernon with me. That and you could meet my mother…” Lily said with a small smile. 

James smiled back, pecking her lips once more. "Of course I will! You'll have to teach me how to act like a muggle though." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, gazing into her eyes. "And I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to meet the woman who raised the most wonderful person I know…" 

“Since when is Petunia your favourite person?” She asked with mock anger. “So I can dress you up as a muggle… Sounds fun.” She smiled and moved to wrap her scarf back around her neck. “Right, can we go inside now, maybe go via the kitchens and get some hot chocolate?” She took his hand in hers. 

"I'm sure I can think of some other ways to warm you up." He grinned, waggling his eyebrows at her. He nudged his nose with hers, but shoved their joined hands into his pocket, trying to keep her warm.

\---

Lily stood outside of her house, it was cold, her coat was wrapped around her and a green hat was pulled down covering her ears. She knew James would be here soon and she really wanted to intercept him before Petunia or her mother got to him first. 

James tugged at the tie around his neck before pulling on the suit jacket Lily had helped him find. While he wasn't the worst at finding muggle clothing, he hadn't worn formal wear before. He much preferred the comfort of robes, the crisp shirt and heavy jacket felt so restricting. With one last ruffle of his hair, he pulled on a thick and warm coat before turning on the spot, disapparating.

He walked down the road to where Lily had told him her house was, humming absentmindedly to himself as his feet crunched against the snow. He couldn't wait to see his girlfriend, the Christmas holidays had separated them for longer than he had been intending. 

Lily spotted him coming around the corner and found herself running down the small path into his arms. She reached up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck like she always did. “Alright, stranger?” She said softly. 

James grinned when he saw Lily running towards him. His arms wrapped around her waist when she kissed him, and he was so excited to see her he lifted her off the ground, spinning her around as he kissed her back. "I've missed you." He whispered against her lips when they broke apart.

Lily giggled as he spun her. “I’ve missed you too.” She stood back on her heels and looked over him. “You look good.” She said and moved to fix his tie for him. “You pull ‘muggle’ off quite well… James, where are your glasses?” Lily said with a raised eyebrow, she had gotten a letter from Remus saying James had been refusing to wear his glasses over the Christmas holidays. She put her hands on her hips and gave him a very motherly frown. 

James squinted back at her, while he didn't need his glasses to see all of the time, the world was still quite blurry without them. He just prayed any children he ended up having would be blessed with good eyesight. "Oh…" He said, pressing a hand to his face as he realised he was missing them. "My mum always used to remind me to wear them, I keep forgetting." He smiled warmly at her. "I'll just have to pull off the smouldering look today. Don't tell anyone that really I'm just trying to see them."

Lily smirked at him watching him fumble about. “Sure.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of glasses. “Sirius already sent me your spare pair.” She said and passed him the glasses. “I’m not having you stumble about my sister's wedding, blind as a bat.” She laughed, she looked him over and bit her lip. “Now I think you look presentable enough to meet my mother…” She said and reached her hand out to him. 

James looked at the spare glasses with a scrunched up face. He much preferred his square shaped frames, the round ones really were in case of an emergency. "These ones make me look like a kid!" He whined. "I swear, if any children of mine have bad eyesight they're not getting a pair of these. No son of mine will have dorky round glasses!" He exclaimed, but still settled the glasses on his nose at Lily's request. Grinning at the prospect of meeting her mum, he took her hand. "Lead the way, Evans."

“Maybe we should just… Do something else.” She said, walking to the gate and looking at the house. “You best be on your best behaviour…” Lily warned him before walking to the door. She opened it and brushed her shoes on the mat. When she stepped in she took her coat off and hung it up, she had a dark green dress on with matching shoes. She took James’ coat and hung it up as well and closed the door behind them. “Mum?” Lily called out and a voice came back from the kitchen, Lily led James there to find her mum stood in the little kitchen with a cup of tea in her hands.

"Always." James whispered in her ear when she told him to behave, kissing her cheek gently. Nerves shot through him when she called out to her mother. He'd dated a few girls in the past, but had never met a parent before. Then again, Lily was the only girl he'd fallen in love with before. 

"Ah, Lily!" Her mother beamed when her daughter walked into the kitchen, hand in hand with James. "And you must be James. Lily's told me so much about you over the years. I must say I was surprised to find out she finally gave in to you asking her out." Lily's mother winked at her daughter.

“Mum!” Lily blushed, embarrassed by her mother's words. “Yes this is James. He’s my plus one for the wedding so I thought he should meet you. You know before it all gets chaotic with running around after Petunia.” Lily said with a raised eyebrow. 

“Be nice, Lily.” Her mother said and Lily rolled her eyes at her. 

“It’s not like she told me that she wouldn’t pick me as her bridesmaid in a million years or anything.” Lily said and ran her tongue across her teeth. “But yes, this is James… He’s going to be an Auror, like I explained, Wizarding police man, but like… cooler…” Lily stumbled over her words, not letting him get a word in edgeways. “He lives with Sirius, they are basically brothers.” 

"It's lovely to meet you, Mrs Evans." James said warmly, shaking Lily's mother's hand. As Lily had requested, he went into best behaviour mode. "I promise I wasn't intending on forcing Lily into going out with me, in fact she actually started chasing me in return." He turned and winked at Lily. "Congratulations on your daughter's wedding."

“Why thank you, James. It’s good to hear your actual voice.” She smiled brightly at him. At this point the front door opened and slammed making the house shake slightly. “Ahh, there’s my other daughter. Make yourself at home. I’m around if you need anything.” She said and quickly left to deal with Petunia. 

“And that was my mother…” Lily said looking back at James. “Let’s get out of here before Tuney tries to get us to help.” She said and took his hand dragging him upstairs.

"She's lovely." James grinned as he followed Lily up the stairs, chuckling at some of the hopelessly adorable baby and childhood photos of Lily that adorned the walls. "I always forget muggle photographs don't move." He said, pointing them out. 

Lily stopped to look at the photos he was looking at. “Oh, yeah… You’re not used to that… That one is my favourite.” She said pointing to one of the photos. “Me and my dad. The day I got my Hogwarts letter, Tuney had said some things and it had upset me, so he took me for ice cream. We got the ice cream lady to take the picture of us…” She said with a sad smile. 

James noticed the look on her face, so wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, holding her close. He pressed a soft kiss behind her ear. "It must have been such a shock for you, finding out about magic and that you had it."

“It was less of a shock when the letter came. Snape had already told me... “ Lily frowned. “Sorry…” She took his hand again and led him up to her bedroom, she opened the door. “Please don’t judge me.” She walked in, it was a typical girls bedroom, everything was white or pink, lots of florals, there was a large bookcase in the corner filled with books, a vanity and a double bed. 

It had completely passed James by that she was taking him to her bedroom, but when he saw how girly it was, he could help but start laughing. "Oh, Evans…" He ran his fingers along some of the flowers on the wallpaper. "I didn't expect you to be such a fan of pink."

“It was last decorated when I was eight years old, James.” She said and shoved him. “Tuney always wanted her room decorated, so I always said I still liked mine…” Lily shrugged. “Not like I’m here a lot anyway, I’m always at Hogwarts.” She said and sat down on her bed, slipping her shoes off. 

James kept looking around her room, smiling at the muggle books, recognising a few of those Jane Austen ones she loved so much. He let out a snort as he picked something up, turning to her. "Forget to hide something, Lil?" He had one of her bras dangling from between his fingers.

“Oh, shut up.” Lily jumped up and grabbed her bra off him and shoved it into the drawer next to her bed. “Also you’ve seen my bra plenty of times now, no need to find that so… intriguing.” She rolled her eyes, a blush still present on her cheeks. 

“Mmm…” He hummed, pulling her close to him so he could nudge his nose up against her cheek. “Scandalous, you talking about me seeing your bra in your childhood bedroom…” He whispered, winking at her. He knew what he was doing, he knew she liked it when he flirted like this. He moved his lips so that they were just a second from touching hers, but then he stepped back.

“You bastard.” She reached over and threw a pillow at him and lay back on the bed. “You said you were going to be on your best behaviour.” She smirked and stood up to kiss him this time. “Stop being a little tease.”

"Yeah, around your family." He chuckled, catching the pillow when she threw it. Chaser reflexes. He pulled her close when she came over, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her back. "But as you can see, Evans. We are very much alone." 

“We are alone… In my childhood bedroom with my mother and sister downstairs and no lock on the door. Not happening, Potter.” She quipped and poked him in the ribs. “Keep it in your pants.”

“Shame.” James laughed, kissing her forehead. “Maybe I’ll just have to sneak you back to mine after the wedding.” He winked at her, interlocking their fingers together. “How do muggle weddings usually go by the way? I imagine they’re quite different to wizarding ones…”

Lily just blushed, “I always forget you’ve not experienced muggle things..” Lily shrugged slightly. “Well I’ve never been to a wizarding wedding. We’ll head over to the church in about an hour, Verm-non… Will be standing at the front of the church, we’ll all make our way to seats, then Tuney and her bridesmaid will come down the aisle, they’ll say some vows and things and then we all will have a big party in the town hall, where I plan to get stupendously drunk and show you off to all my weird family members.”

“Oh wonderful!” James chuckled, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “Stupendously drunk Lily is great fun.” He knew he would not be partaking in drinking alcohol tonight. Right after the funeral, after he had left Lily behind, Sirius had found James with two empty bottles of firewhiskey. The hangover that came with that meant James had no wish to get drunk again for a  _ long  _ time.

“I don’t think you’ve seen me as drunk as I’m going to end up tonight.” She smirked and moved to lie back on the bed. She lay there, looking at the ceiling. “She didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid… I thought she would. I’m her sister…”

James toed his shoes off of his feet and climbed onto the bed beside her, pulling her close to him. “She doesn’t understand you, does she? She doesn’t understand magic, and our world… If she did, she would know what an incredible person you are. Because you  _ are,  _ Lil.” He kissed her temple, willing her to believe him. “You’re smart, funny and beautiful. You light up a room, and you taught me, the most arrogant bastard you’d ever met, how to gain some humility and compassion. Merlin, you even found the good in  _ Snape  _ of all people. You  _ are  _ magic, Lily. The best kind.”

Lily forced a smile onto her face and turned so she was laying her head on his chest. “She wanted to be part of our world, I’d give everything up to let her…” Lily said quietly. She grabbed her wand off her bedside table and started the record player with it. She closed her eyes and listened to the music softly, she could hear James’ heart beating and she smiled softly. “I’d like to see a wizarding wedding someday.” She said. 

“I’m sure you will.” James whispered, kissing the top of her head softly. He knew that soon after school, they would be plunged headfirst into a war. So he’d managed to search through his mother’s jewellery box, finding her engagement ring. He didn’t know when he would ask Lily, possibly after they had left school. But he knew he wanted to marry that girl sooner rather than later, and wanted to make her his wife before even the slightest chance that they might have wound up dead.

After some time just enjoying each other’s company, Lily’s mother called up the stairs to say they were leaving. Lily’s uncle had arrived to go with Petunia and Lily’s mother was wearing a dress and jacket combo with a matching hat. Lily stopped seeing her sister in her dress, she looked beautiful. “Tuney… you look amazing.” Lily said softly and a small smile tugged at her sister's lips. 

“I know I do.” Petunia said with a wide smile before she went back to the mirror to fix her hair again. “Come on, Mum.” Lily said and led James and her mother out to the family car. Lily grabbed their coats and put them in the back. Lily sat in the driver's seat and drove them to the church parking around the side. 

James was scared to say the least, sat in the metal contraption that Lily was steering along the road. He'd seen cars before, of course he had. But he'd never been in one before and it was not a pleasant journey. But the car scared him less than Lily's sister who had given him a cold look when he'd introduced himself to her.  _ If looks could kill,  _ he'd thought to himself.

Lily turned back to James once she had parked, “Shit, are you okay? You’ve never been in a car. I should have warned you. Crap.” Lily exclaimed. 

“Lily, language.” Her mother berated her. 

“Sorry…” Lily said and got the coats and her bag out of the back. 

"I'm fine…" James muttered as he clambered out of the car, pressing his hand against it to steady himself. He had turned slightly green. "I prefer going by broom, for future reference…"

“I’ll remember that for next time.” Lily smiled and stepped forward, placing her hand on his forehead. “I think you’re going to be fine.” She took his hand and led him along, following her mother. They made their way into the church and found seats towards the front, Lily’s mother sitting on the front row with Lily and James behind her. 

James laced their fingers together as they sat in the church, and he leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I'm with you. And if you want to whisper insults about Vermin under your breath I'll be here to laugh inappropriately at them." 

Lily smirked and looked over to see Vernon sat at the front, waiting. “I don’t even think we need to make any insults, he’s not exactly helping himself.” She smirked, looking over at him. 

James snorted, but managed to pass it off as a cough. "You were right, he really does look like a walrus." And he bared his teeth at her, curling his lip to create a deranged looking expression, his meager attempt to do an impression of a walrus.

Lily giggled and there was a slight chuckle from her mother in front of them. Lily quickly stopped and bit her lip before putting one finger to her lips. Suddenly the music started to play and they all stood up, Petunia started walking down the aisle. Lily squeezed James' hand tightly, her sister may have disliked her, but Lily was really happy for her. They all sat down and watched the ceremony happen, the exchange of vows and rings, the kiss in which Lily mimicked gagging at James and the couple walked out of the church. “So, first muggle wedding, what did you think?” Lily asked as they followed the couple out with the rest of the crowd. 

"Muggle weddings are weird. And  _ boring."  _ He said, still gripping her hand tightly as they were surrounded by Lily's relatives as everyone made their way outside. "No golden bubbles, or sparks. Just words and rings." James rolled his eyes. "Life must be so dull without magic."

“Golden bubbles?” Lily whispered to him, keeping her voice down, “Damn…” She smiled and they all stood outside taking some photos. At this point Petunia walked forward, ready to throw the bouquet. The girls were all pushed forward ready to catch it and Lily’s mother shoved her, urging Lily to be in the crowd. 

“What’s happening?” James whispered to Lily’s mother, having absolutely no idea about muggle traditions. “Where has Lily gone?”

“All the eligible women try to catch the bouquet, whoever does is apparently the next person to get married.” Lily’s mother said with a smile. “Don’t worry, don’t look so scared.” She smiled and turned back just in time to see the girl next to Lily catch the flowers. Lily blushed and went back to her mother and boyfriend.

James wasn’t scared, in fact he was almost disappointed that Lily didn’t catch the bouquet, now knowing the tradition. His mind went back to the ring that was sat on his desk in his bedroom. When Lily returned, he put his arm around her shoulders. “Better luck next time, love.”

Lily laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m in no rush.” She elbowed him. They all made their way to their vehicles and Lily turned to James. “We can walk if you really don’t want to go in the car again…” She said with a small smile. 

“Where are we going now?” He asked, confused. Usually the reception and ceremony of a wizarding wedding took place in the same location. Then again, the church hadn’t really seemed like the type of place a bunch of people would get drunk in. “I’m sure I’ll survive in the bloody car, it's not too far away right?”

“Five minutes down the road. I promise you’ll be fine.” She smiled and took them to the car and drove them to the local. When they got out, Lily passed her mum the keys. “So you can get home safe…” Lily said with a smile. 

“More so you can get drunk. Lily, I know you are almost eighteen, but it doesn’t mean you should be drinking…” Her mum said. 

“I promise, I will be safe, I wont do anything stupid and if we need to we will call a taxi.” Lily said with her hand on her heart. She pressed a kiss on her mum’s cheek. “Love you.”

“I promise I’ll look after her, Mrs Evans.” James said to Lily’s mother, complete seriousness in his tone. He wanted to get Lily’s mum alone, so he could talk to her about proposing to her daughter in the hopefully not too far away future. But he also knew that Lily was well aware of how out of his depth he was, and would be sticking by his side all night.

“Come on.” Lily said and pulled James into the town hall. It was a big open space, decorated with lots of fairy lights and white fabric. There was a buffet on one side, big tables on the other and then a dance floor and a DJ. Lily smiled and headed straight over to the food. “Before the good stuff is gone.”

“That’s my Lily.” James grinned, kissing her cheek as they attacked the buffet table, piling plates high. It was funny, having to get in before food disappeared, of course muggles didn’t have refilling dishes. It was incredibly interesting, seeing this entire other world. And he was completely grateful to Lily for asking him and showing him all of this.

“Knew there was a reason why you loved me.” Lily laughed, once she had piled up her plate they went to find a table in the corner and started eating. As people walked past, Lily told James who they were, then also explained why she didn’t like them. 

James kept a steady eye on how many drinks that Lily was knocking back, well aware of her plan to get hammered. If worse came to, he would have to use magic to sober her up, which always led to one hell of a hangover the next day. He laughed and grinned along with her as she described various members of her family, but was very polite and friendly to them when they came over to meet him. 

Lily was really polite to her family, even more polite to Vernon’s family, but she’d had a few glasses. She stood up and walked around James’ chair. “Okay you, what do you say, give me a whirl?” She said with a grin. 

“Don’t the bride and groom dance first?” He grinned, leaning back in his chair. Out of all of the drunk Lily’s he’d had the pleasure of witnessing, tipsy Lily was his favourite. “Even wizarding weddings do that.”

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes and moved to sit in his lap. “Fine…” She said and as she did the DJ called the bride and groom to the dance floor. Lily smiled, watching her sister move out and start dancing with her husband. “She looks happy.” 

James wrapped his arms around her the instant she sat on him, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Yeah… Have I told you how beautiful you look by the way?” He said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck.

“Not enough…” She said with a small giggle. Her fingertips brushed against the skin on his hand. 

“And now if everyone would like to join the happy couple on the dance floor.” The DJ called out and Lily jumped up. 

“Come on, Potter, show me those moves.” She smiled, holding her hand out to him. 

It was a slow song, romantic. James laughed at how eager she was, and took her hand, letting her lead him to the dance floor. He immediately took her in his arms, holding her close as they started spinning and swaying. “I like this part of muggle weddings.” He said to her softly.

“I thought you might.” Lily said looking up at him. “You like to show off.” She moved slowly with him, her footing not as good as it would usually be. “Did you imagine years ago… That we would be dancing together at a wedding? All those years of asking me out? Is this how you saw us?” She asked, her hand resting on his chest.

“Always.” James said. “I know I was a wanker, and a prick and all the other things you used to call me. But my heart was always in it, every single time I asked you.” He smiled down at her, his thumb stroking her hip as they danced. “Maybe I hoped we would be dancing together at a wedding one day. Dreamed it, even. If dreams come true, this would be as close as it gets.”

Lily blushed and rested her head on his chest, she looked back at him. “You are a lot soppier than I expected.” She said with a smile. She reached up and kissed him, “Thank you for coming today…”

“You bring out the sop in me, Evans.” He grinned and kissed her back. “And you’re welcome. Thank you for asking me, I know it must be hard having to explain all of this to me like I’m a child.” He chuckled back at her.

“James, you have made this whole day bearable.” She said and giggled as the song changed to a more upbeat song. She took his hand and reached up, trying to spin him under her arm. 

James laughed at how excited she got when the song changed. At her request, he ducked down, spinning under her arm just as she wanted. “You’re so dorky.” He chuckled, letting her lead the way when it came to dancing like this. 

“Says you!” She said, they continued to dance through the next six songs before heading back over to the bar and getting a drink.

“Lil, you should have a glass of water as well…” He said as she ordered another alcoholic drink. He meanwhile had opted for lemonade, which he had become very fond of since Lily had introduced him to it during sixth year. 

“Alright, Dad.” Lily rolled her eyes and drank a glass of water as well. Lily’s mum bid them a good night not long after, opting for an earlier night, saying the night belonged to the young ones. 

“I’ll be right back…” James said to Lily before rushing out after her mother. “Mrs Evans!” He called out, really hoping to talk to her before she left. “Sorry, Mrs Evans, could I have a word please?”

Mrs Evans stopped by the car and turned around. “James, are you alright? Did you leave something in the car?” She asked with a soft smile, wrapping her coat around herself.

“N-No…” James said, stumbling over his words slightly. “No nothing like that…” Nervously, he ran a hand through his hair, gathering up all of his courage. “I… Well I was going to ask you about how you would feel… I know we’re young and everything, and I don’t know if Lily has told you any of this, but the Wizarding World is on the brink of war and I-” He sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry, I’m doing this all wrong. I wanted to ask for your blessing in asking Lily to marry me at some point in the hopefully near future.” He blurted out.

Mrs Evans' smile widened as he spoke. “My blessing?” She said and folded her arms. “You get her home safe tonight… And you have my blessing.” She grinned and moved forward to hug the man in front of her. “I’m glad she has you.” She said quietly to him before climbing into the car.

“I will.” James grinned at Lily’s mother. “And thank you so much.” He watched as she drove off before heading back inside. There he found Lily easily once again. He strode right over to her, seized her by the waist and kissed her deeply, smiling against her lips.

Lily smiled and kissed him back, “Someone’s in a good mood.” She giggled, keeping him close. “Shall we dance some more?”

“Sounds good.” James grinned, kissing her once more. As they made their way back onto the dance floor, he noticed Lily’s sister, Petunia watching them with a scowl on her face. But James wouldn’t point that out to Lily, instead he spun her around on the dance floor, trying to distract her.

Lily danced along with James, her eyes only concentrating on him. Her parents had always been accepting of her magic, but the rest of her family weren’t allowed to know. Petunia had turned most of her family away from her over the years, saying horrible things about her because Lily was always at school and unable to stand up for herself. “What are your plans for Christmas?” Lily asked softly as they moved to a slower song. 

“I… Sirius and I were just going to ignore it. We don’t really have a good way to celebrate…” He said, holding her close as they swayed to the slow music. “It doesn’t feel right celebrating at home without the traditions me and my parents had for years…”

“We could always make our own traditions. My mum has been trying to work out what to do, she wanted to go and spend the afternoon with Petunia anyway… I could always come over? Maybe see if Remus can spare a couple of hours, Peter? We could have our own little christmas.” Lily offered.

“Merlin, I love you.” James grinned, kissing her forehead. “You and your mother are both welcome at mine in the morning, we could have Christmas lunch all together and she can visit your sister after that. The more the merrier and all that.” 

“I’d like that…” Lily smiled, holding him close. “Be warned, my mother will take over the cooking whether you like it or not… She’s like that.” Lily looked over his face and put a light kiss on his cheek. “Let’s walk back…”

‘That’s more than alright.” James chuckled. “I can cook, but making Christmas lunch seems just a bit too much for me to make alone. I’d happily give her a hand though.” He could see how tired she looked and was just about to suggest they call it a night when she said it herself. “Sounds good, love. Or I can apparate us, if you’re too tired. I haven’t had anything to drink.”

“I noticed.” Lily went over and grabbed her coat and bag off a table. “But I’d like to walk. The night shouldn’t end so soon.” She took his hand and took a last look over the last few people before walking out into the street. She swung their arms and when there was a small wall at the front of someone's house, she began to walk along it. “Look, I’m finally tall enough.” She smirked, reaching his own height.

James laughed as she stood at his height. “Now I won’t get neck ache trying to kiss you.” He grinned as he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before continuing on. He made sure to keep a hold of her hand, not trusting that in her drunken state she wouldn’t fall off the wall and hurt herself.

“Don’t look so worried, Jamie.” Lily giggled and hopped off the wall. She kept hold of him as she danced along the pavement. She followed the familiar walkways along her little village, every so often she would look up at the sky. “Come sit with me.” She said, dragging him into the park near her house. She lay down on the grass, staring up at the stars in the sky. 

James settled himself down next to her, their hair touching as they lay on the grass. He smiled when he looked up at the stars and spotted Canis Major, the constellation which had the brightest star seen from Earth in the centre. He raised his hand and pointed to the star. “See that bright one, there? That’s Sirius, the one my brother was named after. The Dog star. I guess it was destiny his animagus would be a big black dog.”

“I still can’t get over that… You lot being Animagi…” She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. “Was he the dog that was seen running around the castle one day?” Lily asked with a smug smile. 

James let out a bark of laughter, remembering that day. “Yeah, that was him. Merlin, I’d completely forgotten about that.” He started playing with her hair, twisting it between his fingers. “He didn’t want to go to Charms, so transformed and ran around chasing birds instead.”

“I do wonder about that boy sometimes…” Lily smiled before sighing. “I used to sit here with Severus…” Lily said quietly, looking away from James. “Before Hogwarts, Petunia caught him watching us and that’s when he told me I was a witch, I used to do a lot of accidental magic…” Lily smiled. “We used to sit here and he’d tell me about the wizarding world and about magic and Hogwarts. It used to be good.”

James stiffened when she started talking about Snape, his loathing for that boy was unbelievably intense. He hadn’t realised before he and Lily became friends that they had known each other before Hogwarts, which made sense as to why they were sitting together on the train on their first day. “But then he showed his true colours…” He whispered, not wanting to interrupt her, clearly she needed to get this off her chest.

“Yeah..” She frowned. “Now he’s a Death Eater…” Lily sat up, wrapping her arms around her legs. “James, it’s bloody freezing, why did you let me convince you to lie on the grass?” She smiled and laughed. 

James got to his feet and pulled her up, steadying her when she stumbled. "Come on, I'll apparate us the rest of the way, yeah? You'll catch your death."

“Fine.” Lily smiled, tucking her arm into his and holding him tightly. 

He kissed her forehead and held her tightly before turning on the spot, apparating directly into her bedroom. “Home sweet home.” He said, smiling at her warmly.


	10. Chapter 10

Lily pulled up in the Potter’s driveway, she parked the car near to the front and turned to her mum. “This is it.” She said with a wide smile. 

“I know you said he lived in a big house… But Lily-” Her mother exclaimed. They both climbed out of the car and Lily started pulling out bags of presents out of the boot. Mrs Evans pulled out some pre-made dishes from the back seat and they headed towards the door. 

James and Sirius were in the living room, laughing happily as they finished decorating the room before Lily and her mother arrived. “Padfoot, if you make any comments that are inappropriate to Lily’s mum I swear to Merlin I will tear you a new one!” James warned, but there was no real threat in his voice.

“I promise I’ll be a goody two shoes like you are now, Prongs.” Sirius replied, grinning as he held his hands up in defense. “I bet she’s a raging sort and a right MILF though.”

James shoved him hard, but in that kind of brotherly way where it doesn’t  _ actually  _ hurt. “I could murder you sometimes.”

Lily just managed to open the door with all of her bags and lead her mum into the lobby. “We’re here!” Lily called out, knowing James and Sirius would hear. She placed the bags down in a pile on the floor before helping her mother with the food. “Let me take that, I'll put it in the kitchen.” She said, taking two dishes from her.

James rushed out of the living room when he heard Lily shout out, Sirius trailing behind him. “Hey!” He said excitedly, pressing a kiss to Lily’s cheek before hugging her mother tightly. “Merry Christmas, ladies! Mrs Evans, this is my brother Sirius.” 

Sirius walked forward and pressed a kiss to Lily’s mother’s hand. “A pleasure to meet you, my lady.”

“Don’t.” Lily muttered, looking at Sirius. She quickly smiled at her mum before heading to the kitchen to drop off the dishes she had.

Lily placed the dishes on the counter before finally taking her coat off and hooking it on the back of the chair. 

Mrs Evans waved her hand at the boys. “Mrs Evans always makes me feel like my mother, please call me Rose.” James grinned at her, picking up the bags for her. 

“Alright then, Rose. If you’d like to follow Sirius, he’ll show you into the living room, I’ll take these upstairs for Lily.” He knew that Lily was smart enough to figure out where they had gone, so he made his way upstairs. He debated putting the bags in one of the spare rooms, but he chuckled slightly and dropped them off in his own bedroom. 

Once Lily had put things away, she made her way back into the lobby. Seeing they were gone she made her way into the living room to see Sirius and her mum talking. Lily moved to sit next to Sirius, resting her head and arms on his shoulder. “Stop it.” She said and scowled at him. 

“I’m just talking, Lil. In fact, Rose here was just telling me some wonderfully embarrassing baby stories about you.” Sirius grinned, winking at her mother. “And Merry Christmas to you too.” He said as he booped Lily’s nose with his finger.

James made his way back to the living room just in time to see his friend boop Lily’s nose. Happily, he leant in the doorway, just watching them all with a grin on his face. It was weird celebrating Christmas without his parents, but he was so grateful to have people he loved with him.

Lily grabbed Sirius by the waist before standing up. “Liar.” She scowled but her mother just smiled. Lily looked up to see James and walked over to pull him into a hug, resting her head on his chest. “Merry Christmas.” She said softly. 

Rose stood up at this point, “Right, I’d better start on lunch.” She looked at her daughter and smiled. “Point me at the kitchen and I’ll get it sorted, you lot relax. It is Christmas after all.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a hand, Rose?” James said, his arms still wrapped around Lily. “I’m not the best cook in the world but I’m more than willing to be directed if you need it.” If Rose was anything like his own mother, she would turn him down. He wouldn’t be offended, he was used to it.

“I’ll call you all if I need anything.” Rose said with a smile and headed off towards the kitchen.

“Told you…” Lily said with a grin. “I’ll save your presents until Remus gets here later. Did you hear back from Peter?” Lily asked, dragging James over to the sofa. 

“Yeah.” James said as he sat down between Lily and Sirius. “He can pop in for a little bit, but he always has thousands of family members coming round for Christmas, so it’ll be just to exchange presents and that's it.” He put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close. He hadn’t seen her since the wedding, she’d been so busy packing it all up that they’d only had the chance to write a few letters every now and then. “I’m so glad we could be together all day today, I’ve missed you.” The joy that she was staying the night too went unspoken, but he was sure she knew that anyway.

“Yeah, I’m so glad, James.” Sirius quipped from the other side of him. 

“Shut up, Sirius.” Lily poked her tongue out at him. “I’m glad I’m here too.” She said to James and curled her legs up and tucked her feet under him with a cheeky smile. 

James grinned back at her and gave her a quick kiss. “I can’t wait for you to see what I got you.” He said to her, his voice low and gravelly. 

Sirius rolled his eyes at the pair of them. “You guys are gross.”

“Shut up, Padfoot.” James said, smacking him up the back of the head. “You were the one telling me to get back together with Lil in the first place. So you cannot say anything about us being together.”

“Oh, you boys, always arguing over little old me.” Lily put on a bad southern accent and twirled her hair around her finger. 

James snorted, kissing her cheek. “He can try, but I think we all know I would win that argument. You love me too much, right?” He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. “Plus, I know your deepest, darkest secrets…”

“Way too much.” Lily then scowled at him. “My deepest, darkest secrets? Really?” Lily sat up and looked at him. “You think you know all that?”

“I’m pretty sure I was there for most of them.” James grinned, giving her a knowing look. Sirius meanwhile just groaned and got up off the couch.

“Oh, I do not need to hear this. I’m gonna go help with lunch.” And he walked out of the room.

“Wow, when Padfoot agrees to help out, you know he’s grossed out.” James laughed, pressing his hand to his stomach.

“I mean, we are disgusting…” Lily smirked and pushed him down onto the sofa, kissing him softly while lying all her weight on him. “Horrifying…” She said and kissed him again. 

“Hmm, disgraceful…” James growled, pulling her close as he kissed the living daylights out of her, it had been a fair bit since they’d had the chance to just snog like there was no tomorrow.

Lily kissed him until she had to take a breath. She moved away and giggled, letting her hair fall over them both. 

“I love you.” James grinned at her, swiping his thumb over her lower lip which was slightly swollen thanks to the wonderful kisses they had just shared. He was gazing up at her like she hung the moon and the stars.

“That’s good then.” She said and giggled before climbing off him. “Let’s go check on the others. I don’t want to find out if Sirius can actually woo my mother.”

“Oh Merlin, imagine…” James laughed, fake gagging. He took her hand as they started walking into the kitchen. James’ stomach growled when he smelt the cooking food. “Wow, smells amazing.”

“What have you two been living off? Lily said with a smirk, “Neither one of you can cook.” She said looking over at Sirius.

“Hey! I can make pasta!” James said to her, nudging her side with his hip. “I may not be amazing, but I know my way around a kitchen.”

“Sure…” She smirked at him and moved to help her mother finish some bits off. 

Sirius walked over to James. “You have lipstick on your face.” He said with a smirk before putting some dishes on the table.

“Shove off.” He muttered, and wiped his lower face with the sleeve of his jumper. “Bloody women with their makeup…”

“Language, Jamie.” Lily called out, taking another dish to the table. Rose laughed and followed her daughter and they all took their places around the table.

‘Sorry, darling.” James said, kissing her cheek as they sat down next to each other. “This looks amazing, Rose, thank you so much for doing this.”

“No problem. You are always more than welcome to come over, even if it’s just for dinner.” Rose said softly. They all started eating the food, piling their plates high and chatting and laughing about Christmas things, as well as talking about the difference between muggle and wizarding Christmas traditions. 

The food was amazing, so hearty and wonderful. But soon enough their plates were cleared and James picked them up, taking everything over to the sink. With a wave of his wand, the dishes started to wash themselves. He glanced at his watch. “Ah, Remus should be here soon.”

Rose looked at the clock as well, “I should also be leaving. Your sister is expecting me soon.” She stood up and kissed the top of Lily’s head. “I’ll see you in the new year, Lily.” She said and moved around, squeezing Sirius’ shoulder. “It was lovely to meet you, Sirius.” She said and hugged James. “Thank you for looking after my daughter.” She said and headed to the door. “Lily has presents for you all, don’t let her forget.” She smiled and left the house.

Almost the moment that Rose left, the fireplace in the kitchen flared green, and Remus stepped out of it onto the hearth, brushing soot off of his clothes. James chuckled and looked at Lily. “Your mum might have fainted if she’d seen that. She looked shocked enough when the dishes started washing themselves up.”

“Yeah… I don’t do much magic at home.” She smiled before running over and pulling Remus into a hug. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Lily.” Remus smiled, hugging her back before turning to his two best friends. “Hey.” He grinned at James, seeing the remnants of Lily’s lipstick on his chin that he hadn’t managed to wipe away. “You got a little something there, Prongs.”

“Oh, bollocks!” James yelped, rubbing at his chin. “Was that there through all of dinner? With your mum?” He rounded on Lily, eyes wide with panic.

“Maybe… I didn’t notice.” Lily said and bit her lip looking at him. “Shall we go into the living room?” She asked and quickly made her way out of the room.

James shared a look with Sirius and Remus, the former was roaring with laughter. He shook his head and followed his girlfriend into the living room, grinning at the sight of the Christmas tree with presents underneath. He pointed his wand at the record player, classical music starting to play.

Lily sat down on the floor near the tree, she pulled a box of chocolates she had put under the tree earlier and passed them around the group. She flicked her wand and the fire started up crackling and warm near them.

“This is nice.” James smiled, falling into his Dad’s old armchair. It was weird, not having his parents around for Christmas, but it was nice to share it with his friends. His eyes landed on Lily, gazing at her as she sat by the tree, a loving smile on his face.


	11. Chapter 11

“So, Valentine's Day Hogsmeade trip…” Lily smiled at James as she stood outside the main doors of Hogwarts. “Never thought I’d see the day when me and you were doing this…” She blushed, pulling her hood up over her hair to keep it dry from the snow. 

“You think  _ you  _ never thought this would happen?” James laughed, tugging his hat further down over his ears in an attempt to keep them warm. “All those times I asked you out, I never imagined you would actually agree to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade. Especially not for Valentine’s.” 

Filch was checking names off of his list, making sure that no one without a permission form was leaving the castle. James took Lily’s hand in his own as they started to walk out of the grounds, swinging them back and forth happily.

“I can always say no…” Lily said, laughing as James swung their arms. She squeezed his hand as they walked and once they were off the grounds, Lily led him to the woodland route that most of the students didn’t use. 

“You’d better not.” James grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders while keeping their hands interlocked. Their feet crunched against the undisturbed snow, a welcome difference to the slush that hundreds of students had created on the normal path to the small wizarding village. “I’ve never been this way before, to be honest we usually just use the secret passages we’ve found to get to Hogsmeade.”

“Ahh yes… You boys and your secret passageways. I don’t know how you remember them all.” She smirked, leaning against James. They had become so comfortable so quickly, it was strange to think this time last year she had hated his guts. “Me and Marlene often come this way, less chance of seeing people we don’t like… Mostly you…”

“Ah, well we definitely haven’t made a magical map of Hogwarts, don’t worry.” James winked at her, his cheeks flushing pink. “Seems we’ve come full circle that now you’re intentionally leading me down here. You really must love me to sacrifice your secret route then, huh?”

“My god, you four must be the bane of Dumbledore’s life…” She rolled her eyes. “Going back to this again…” She turned to look at him. “You really want me to say it, don’t you?” She bit her lip.

“I’m not going to force it out of you.” James grinned back, turning his head to kiss her hairline softly. “But yes, of course I do. Yet, if I have to wait, so be it. I’ll just have to tell you how much I love you every day until then.”

“Yes well… I’m aware you are going to say it every day.” She smiled, letting her eyes close as he kissed her head. “It’s not like I’m going to be falling in love with anyone else any time soon.” She nudged him, breaking from their hold and skipping out further along the path. 

“Oh, well that’s good to know!” James called after her, continuing to walk along. “Please don’t slip and break your neck!” He couldn’t stop grinning as he followed her down the path, the joy on her face at being with him made his heart squeeze with happiness.

“Oh but that was my plan.” She smirked, turning back to look at him. “Come on, I need a warm drink and some chocolate.” She put her hand out towards him again, having cast a warming charm on her gloves. 

“You always need chocolate, Evans.” James laughed, lacing his fingers through hers once again. They walked across a small bridge over a frozen river, Hogsmeade village not too far in the distance now. As they stepped down onto the cobblestones, James looked at Lily again. “So, where do you want to go? Madam Puddifoot’s?” He said teasingly, knowing only too well of the cafe’s reputation for being filled with mushy couples who can’t keep their hands off each other.

“Merlin, no, I’d rather throw myself in this frozen stream.” Lily laughed. “The Three Broomsticks, maybe? We could always go to The Hogs Head if we want to be left alone…” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You’d risk going to a sleazy pub that smells of goats just to get me alone? Wow, Evans, I’m not the kind of guy to give it up on the first date.” He grinned back at her, knowing fully well that they had both already  _ given it up  _ prior to going on a proper date. “Wherever you want to go, we’ll go.”

“I don’t know if I’d really class this as a first date, you came to my sisters wedding… Maybe the first time you actually asked me to go on a ‘date’, yeah…” She shrugged. “The Three Broomsticks it is.” She giggled, walking onto the stone as they made their way to the street. 

“I think it counts as a date if we are spending a day together with hopefully no interruptions, rather than you drinking an excessive amount while your sister married the human embodiment of a walrus.” James laughed with her, heading towards the Three Broomsticks. 

“I’ll take that one.” Lily laughed, opening the door and letting James in. 

“Young witches and wizards are always coming into our pub.” One of the shrunken heads said to the other. 

“Young love…” The other said smiling. 

“Disgusting…” The grumpy one replied and Lily dragged James away to a booth. 

“Those things are so creepy.” James murmured, sliding into the booth next to Lily. It was busy in the pub, it being a cold day the students had flocked to the warmth, though it was probably worse in Madam Puddifoot's… “What would you like to drink?” He smiled at Lily, he wasn’t going to let her pay for anything on this date. “Hot chocolate I’m guessing?”

“Yes please.” She looked up at him, about to offer to pay and saw the look on his face. “With cream and marshmallows please.” She smiled brightly at him, taking her coat and gloves off, her cheeks rosy from the cold outside. 

“As you wish.” James smiled, kissing her cheek softly before climbing out of the booth again, heading up to the bar. Thanks to Sirius’ many flirtatious moments with Madam Rosmerta, she recognised James so came to serve him pretty quickly. He ordered the hot chocolate for Lily and a warm butterbeer for himself, taking both drinks back over to their booth. He put them down on the table before removing his own coat and hat, ruffling through his hair to shake out the curls that had been flattened against his forehead. 

“James Potter with flat hair, thought I’d never see the day.” She mocked, taking the hot chocolate and smiled up at him. “Thank you.” She said, moving the mug to her lips and taking a sip. The cream got on her top lip but she quickly wiped it off. “Perfect.” She ran her tongue across her lips.

“Don’t tell anyone.” James laughed as he sat down next to her again, cradling his mug of butterbeer between his hands. He felt his cheeks flush slightly as he watched Lily’s tongue dart out to catch the cream off her lips, wishing he’d been fast enough to do it for her. “You know, I’ve never actually been on a date on Valentine’s Day before, I always tried to make sure I was free in case you said yes.”

“Oh, so I’ve actually got to make it a good one.” She giggled, slightly nervously. “I mean I’ve only been on one Valentine’s date, I used to lie to you and say I had a date and then just hide away from you the whole day.” Lily blushed, “My only date was with… that fourth year guy, in my third year… Shit, what was his name?” Lily chewed on her lip. “Callum or Darren?” She said with a frown. 

“Caldun Price.” James said through gritted teeth, remembering how smarmy the kid had been that he got to go on a date with Lily Evans. “Well, with any luck this date will go a lot better than the one you went on with him.” He hid his face in his butterbeer mug, though the tips of his ears gave him away, they were burning pink which had nothing to do with the cold outside.

“Not that you remember those sort of things, eh?” She smiled at him, biting her lip. “This date is already a million times better, for one I want to be here…” She nudged him with her elbow. “It’s cool.”

“Hmm, that’s always nice to know.” He smiled back, emerging from behind his mug. “How come you agreed to go on a date with him if you didn’t want to be there? It’s not like the guy was devilishly handsome or popular.” He smirked a little at that, knowing that he was definitely more attractive than Price. 

“I’d never been on a date before, thought it would be nice to actually go on one, I was wrong.” Lily shrugged, “Sometimes people just want that little bit of attention… But maybe not the attention you were giving me.” She winked at him. 

“Hopefully I’m giving you the right attention now.” James smiled, brushing a fallen eyelash off of her cheek with his finger. “Again, I can't apologise enough for being such a prat, but then again I doubt we would be here today if I hadn’t begged and begged you. Or maybe fate would have intervened, if you believe in such a thing.”

“You don’t have to apologise… I get it. We’re past that.” She ran her finger around the rim of the mug and looked back at him. “Fate didn’t bring us together.” 

James sipped his drink thoughtfully, smiling at her over the top of his mug. “Well, however it happened. I’m glad it did.” He swiped his finger through the cream on the top of her hot chocolate, depositing it straight on the tip of her nose.

“Rude!” Lily said, moving to wipe it off her nose and licked her finger clean. She poked her tongue out at him before taking his butterbeer from him and taking a sip. “Whatcha going to do about it, Potter?” She smirked. 

“This.” James grinned back, surging forwards to kiss her. His hand moved to cup the back of her hair, tilting her face towards his to make it easier. He didn’t care that they were in public, he kissed her passionately. Sure, they were putting on a display much like that you would find in Madam Puddifoot’s, but damn it he was going to kiss his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day if he wanted to. He’d already waited long enough.

Lily kissed back, her hand resting on his chest, she gripped his shirt and held him close. 

“Stop kissing.” One of the shrunken heads called from behind them. 

“We don’t have that kind of thing in here.” The other said and Lily pressed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. 

“Maybe we should finish this up and go for a walk…” Lily said, turning back to her drink as her cheeks flushed again. 

“Yeah... “ James said, slightly breathlessly. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” He glanced around, catching a few pairs of eyes looking at them. He licked some of the butterbeer foam off of his top lip after taking another sip of his drink, the mug only half empty. “Come on, Evans. Let’s get out of here.”

Lily finished off the drink, placing the cup in the middle of the table, before pulling her coat and gloves back on. She jumped up out of the seat and headed for the door. 

“And don’t come back!” One of the shrunken heads shouted after them and Lily burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Bloody grumps.” James muttered as he shook his head but couldn’t contain his grin. He took Lily’s hand in his own once more, still forever amazed that she didn’t rip it away and tell him to piss off. “So, where do you want to go?”

“Wherever you want…” She shrugged, “I really don’t mind, Jamie.” She squeezed his hand, before walking down the cobbled street. 

“Well, if you’re not too cold, we could always walk up to the Shrieking Shack. You know it’s not haunted now so there’s no need to be scared around it.” He smiled, swinging their hands back and forth slightly again. “The woods around there are quite nice, especially in winter.”

“James… If anyone sees me and you heading out to the Shrieking Shack, just the two of us. What do you think people will say?” She smirked at him. “I really don’t want to be known as that girl…”

“Right…” James snorted, shaking his head. “And people definitely haven’t spotted us climbing out of broom cupboards.” He moved their hands so that their fingers laced together. “We don’t have to go close, just take a stroll through the woods.”

“I’m denying it if anyone asks…” She said but nodded in acceptance. She started heading towards the Shrieking Shack.

“No one else is stupid enough to be out in the cold anyway.” James laughed, keeping a hold of her hand while starting to walk backwards ahead of her, so he could see her face properly. 

“Whatever you say…” She smiled, brushed her hair back now the snow wasn’t falling. “Anyway, after this weekend is over, I’m starting my exam prep…”

“Really?” James said, raising an eyebrow at her. “Lily, it’s February. Exams aren’t till May.” He stopped walking backwards, falling back into step beside her once again. “You’re going to overstress yourself if you’re not careful.”

“Really I should have started it before… You are a distraction.” She smiled. “I’m not going to overstress, if I start now I won’t stress… I can balance it out and revise everything I need to.” 

“I don’t know how you do it.” He chuckled, spotting the Shrieking Shack up in the distance, the abandoned house looming over the snowy hill. “I mean, obviously I want to do well in my exams but I know finding motivation to care so much is impossible for me.”

“You could always join me in the library, Remus will be there…” Lily said, looking over at the house. “You should put away some time for stuff like that… I know you are clever... But you could always join us.”

“Maybe… But also I hate studying in the library, it’s so boring.” He grinned at her as they got closer to the shack, but instead he led her down a small path into the woods. It looked so beautiful in the trees, glittering snow shining in the winter sun. It was untouched apart from a few animal footprints, locals seemed to think the woods were haunted too. But James of course knew better. “But anyway, it’s Valentine’s weekend, we shouldn’t worry ourselves with exams.”

“No, we shouldn’t…” She grinned at him before reaching up to press a kiss on his lips. “I’m very glad I have you.”

James smiled warmly at her, coming to a stop in a clearing in the woods. He moved his hands to her waist, smiling down at her. “Right back at you. I still feel like I’m dreaming.”

Lily moved her hand and pinched his arm. “Nope, you're not dreaming…”

“Good to know.” James grinned, his hands sliding around her waist to her back as he pulled her in for a hug, his chin resting on her shoulder. He held her close, smiling when snow started to fall once again. 

“I’m glad it’s not a dream, otherwise I might not be in love with you.” She smiled, looking up at him. 

James grinned at her, his heart squeezing. “You said it.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. 

“I did.” She smiled, her hands wrapped around his waist. “You okay with that?” She asked softly.

“I’m more than okay with that…” He replied, leaning down to press his lips against hers, his hand sliding up her back to tangle in her hair.

“Happy Valentines Day.” She said softly against his lips before kissing him again.

It was hopelessly romantic, standing there kissing in the snow. But after a while James felt his fingers beginning to freeze, the wet snow starting to seep into his boots. He pressed a few more soft kisses against Lily’s lips before pulling away. “I think we should probably get somewhere warmer.” He muttered, not moving too far back from her. “I love you too, by the way.”

“Good, I haven’t heard it enough today.” She laughed and pulled him along back towards the street.

\---

“The library is for studying, James.” Lily said looking up from her book at him. “Please try and study, if we want good jobs after we graduate, this is how we do it. Didn’t you want to be an Auror anyway? You need amazing grades to get into the training…” She sighed and looked back at her book.

James was slouched back in his chair, letting go of and catching yet another snitch that he had somehow managed to obtain. He sighed as Lily made yet another attempt to get him to focus, swiping the snitch out of the air one more time. “I know it all. What’s the point in studying if I know it all?”

“You don’t know it all.” She sighed and turned the page. “Also, if she catches you with that in here you will be banned and then you’ll never see me.” She rolled her eyes and continued to read. 

James reluctantly shoved the snitch back in his pocket, but made no attempt to look at the books in front of him. “I have a pretty good memory, it’s not my fault if I’m great at absorbing information.” He shrugged, his wand poking at one of the books on Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“And you absorb that information from the tip of your wand do you?” She asked, noting something on a piece of parchment. “Just half an hour more and we can go back to the common room, okay?”

James merely grunted in response, his head falling backwards as his eyes closed. He was so unbelievably bored, but his girlfriend wanted him to spend time with her while she studied, so boredom it had to be. 

Lily ignored him for the next half an hour before picking up her books. She knocked him on the head with her book, “Come on, let's go. Head Boy setting a great example.” She rolled her eyes. 

James sat up with a start, tucking his wand away in the pocket of his robes. He mussed up his hair as he got to his feet, groaning at how stiff his legs had become from sitting in a chair for so long. “So, have you got me something amazing for my birthday?” He asked Lily as they walked out of the library together.

“No. I got you something you’d hate because I’m a really bad girlfriend.” Lily said, tucking her final book in her bag as they walked along the corridor. 

“Honestly the best gift would be the end of you bragging that you’re older than me.” James chuckled, his hands in his pockets. “You’ve only got two months up on me, Evans.”

“Yet I’m years more mature than you, I wonder how that works.” She laughed and nudged him with her body. “I’ll be bragging about it for the rest of our lives.”

“Rest of our lives, huh?” James smirked at her, taking one of his hands out of his pocket to wrap around her shoulders. “You’re so sure of our relationship to think that far ahead?”

“You’ve been pestering me for years, even if we break up I still feel like you’ll always be around.” Lily looked up at him and winked, knowing that wasn’t the answer he wanted. 

“Ah, yes. Of course.” He gave her a weak smile, his arm giving her a squeeze. He’d been thinking more and more about the ring that he had found, considering when would be a good time to try and give it to her. But it was still too soon… “Though I do hope breaking up with me isn’t currently on your to do list…”

“I’m sure it’s somewhere on it.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry, it’s probably at the bottom of the list.” She winked at him and laughed. 

“Well I hope it’s a list that will last forever then.” He smiled, tugging her a little closer so he could kiss her head gently. But he let his arm slide from her shoulder when Professor McGonagall walked up to them, knowing she didn’t exactly approve of her Head Boy and Girl walking around like that. “Hello, Professor.”

“Potter. Evans.” McGonagall said, not even mentioning their public display of affection. “Professor Dumbledore needs to see you in his office. He also says that he’s partial to Liquorice Wands.” 

“Of course Professor.” Lily said with a polite nod, keeping her distance from James. “We’ll go right away.” She smiled at her before walking past her and towards Dumbledore’s office. Once McGonagall was out of ear shot she turned to James. “What’s this about?”

“I have no idea.” James replied, his brow furrowed. “I guess we will find out when we get there, maybe it’s something that always happens with the Heads? I don’t know…”

“I still sent letters to the old Head from last year, she never mentioned anything like this and I questioned her about everything…” She said with a small shrug. “I’m sure it’s fine…” She said and walked up to the statue. “Liquorice Wands.” She said and the statue started to move. 

“Well, let’s just pray we’re not expelled. How embarrassing that would be.” James smirked as they stepped onto the spiral staircase, letting it carry them up to the doorway of Dumbledore’s office. James knocked on the huge ornate door, waiting for an answer.

“Come in, come in.” A voice called out and Lily pushed open the door and walked in. “Do not worry, Mr Potter, you’re not getting expelled today.” Albus Dumbledore sat in the seat at his desk and looked across at them. “Take a seat.”

“That’s a relief.” James grinned at the headmaster as he walked over to one of the chairs in front of the desk, taking a seat as instructed. “I think I’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve said that to me, Sir.”

“That’s not a good thing, James.” Lily said, her eyes flicking back to James. “Professor, is something wrong? What’s happening?”

“As you are both aware, the situation regarding Lord Voldemort and his followers is getting more serious as each day passes.” Dumbledore said, his hands clasped before him on the desk. His bright blue eyes were piercing as he looked intently at both of them. “I have spent the past two years gathering together talented witches and wizards in whom I can trust, who will do whatever is necessary to protect the Wizarding World from the dark forces that threaten those that we love. I believe that the two of you would be assets to the organisation, and I would like to know if you would be interested. Of course, I must beg of you for your silence, whether you decide to join us or not.”

James stared at Dumbledore for a moment, taking everything in. An organisation working in secret to try to bring down Voldemort and his Death Eaters? “Count me in.” He said, his voice firm and steady.

“And me.” Lily said, her eyes focused on a book on Dumbledore’s table. She was thinking through everything and everyone she wanted to keep safe. “Have you spoken to the other three?” She asked, looking over at Dumbledore. “Remus, Sirius and Peter? They’ll want to join.” 

Dumbledore nodded his head slowly. “Yes, I am planning to ask Mr Black, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew. I also believe Miss Meadowes and Miss McKinnon would be perfect. But you two, I wanted to ensure that I had your acceptance and approval. I imagine great things from both of you.”

“Us?” James said, glancing over at Lily quickly. “I, well, no offence, Sir. But what makes us so special?”

“Your spirit.” Dumbledore said a twinkle in his eyes. “I will contact you all after graduation and give you all the details. Keep you both in the loop.” He stood up. “Now I’m sure you want to get back to the books, right, Mr Potter?” 

James laughed slightly, also getting to his feet. “Right, of course, Professor.” 

Dumbledore held out a hand, shaking both of their hands. “Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix.”


	12. Chapter 12

Lily woke up with a start. She wasn’t in her bed; she was on a sofa in the common room. She looked around to see the rest of her group was also dozing. Lily sat up, seeing that her head had been resting in James' lap. 

James’ head was propped up against the back of the sofa, in a clearly awkward position. But evidently he hadn’t wanted to move Lily from his lap the night before, so had subjected himself to an uncomfortable sleep. He didn’t wake up when Lily moved, small snores coming from his open mouth.

Lily smiled, turning so she was lying back on the sofa and moved to pull James down so he was lying more comfortably on her. She ran her fingers through his hair, letting her eyes close as she did. 

James let out a soft sigh as Lily adjusted his position, his head moving to lay on her stomach. He nuzzled against her shirt, his hand coming to rest on her arm as he slept. 

“You two look happy.” Sirius said from his spot in the armchair. 

“We are. Are you?” Lily asked, keeping her eyes closed. 

“As happy as anyone can be knowing that a war is coming.” Sirius replied, his voice quiet so as to not wake up their friends. “Especially when most of my family are going to be fighting on the opposite side to us.”

“It’ll be okay. We will make it okay. They aren’t your family, we are.” She said, opening her eyes to look at him. “We will keep each other safe.”

“You know, I never really understood why Prongs was so obsessed with you.” Sirius said, adjusting in the chair so that his legs were hanging over one of the arms. “I always assumed you were a little bit boring… But ever since you both got over your little tension, and we became friends… I get it. I’m glad you’re my friend, Lily. And I’m glad that you and James are happy together. You both deserve each other.”

“I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever had…” Lily said with a soft smile. “I always assumed you boys were trouble-making arseholes.” She poked her tongue out at him, “But now I realise you are just loyal friends who want to make others smile.” She stroked James’ hair again. 

“Wow, Evans.” Sirius grinned over at her, his fingers tugging at a hole in his trousers. “You really have had a change of heart.” He stared at her for a moment, considering whether or not he should ask her what he wanted to before deciding to just go for it. “You gonna marry him someday? Cause I know he wants to marry you.”

“Don’t tell him about my change of heart. Got to keep him on his toes somehow.” She smiled and looked back at Sirius. “I think he’s wanted to marry me since we were twelve.” Lily said and looked down at James again. “But yeah, I wouldn’t say no…” She blushed and looked back at Sirius.

“I knew it.” Sirius beamed at her, the room still dark because of it being early morning, so it was hard to actually make each other out. “Remus bets you’ll be engaged before the year is out. But I don’t think Prongs has got the balls to ask you so soon.”

“Stop it. We’re all still young. There isn’t any rush…” She said softly, her eyes closed again. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t mind in what way.”

“We shall see.” Sirius smiled, sinking deeper into the chair. “You should get some more sleep, I don’t think that the lump that’s laying on you will be waking up anytime soon.”

“I don’t think he will. Sleep well, Sirius…” Lily said, she placed her hand on the back of James’ neck and closed her eyes again.

\---

The last day of seventh year snuck up on them. Exams were done, goodbyes were being made. James had teared up when McGonagall had said goodbye to the class, making a small joke about him and Sirius finally leaving her in peace. The Marauders had pulled one last prank, which had been a spectacle for all. But now it just seemed strange, everyone was so quiet. 

Lily was sat by the lake, they had all agreed to meet there after class was over for one last hang out. Lily has gotten there early so she could take a minute by herself. She looked up at the castle, taking in every detail, listening to the sounds around the castle. She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled. 

“Alright, Evans?” James called out, sitting down next to her, she hadn’t spotted him as he’d walked towards her. The ring was burning a hole in his pocket, he wanted to do it today, before they left the place that they had met and shared the most experiences together. He just hoped she wouldn’t be afraid that they were too young for it.

“Alright, Potter.” She smirked and rested her head on his shoulder once he sat down. “I’m really going to miss this place…” She said softly. “So much has changed… I don’t really want to leave.” 

“But we’re moving in together, which should be good.” James smiled, thinking about the cottage that they had picked out in Godric’s Hollow. He had needed to get out of Potter Manor, it was too big for just him and Sirius. And Lily was the perfect person to find a forever home with. He turned his head to press a kiss to her hair, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him.

“I’m still surprised you didn’t decide to get in on the flat with Sirius and Remus.” Lily said before placing her hand in his and looking at him. “But yeah, it will be good. A space for us.” She smiled. 

“I can’t wait.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Come on, let’s go skip stones on the lake, try and coax out the Giant Squid for the last time. Say goodbye.” He pulled her to her feet. He didn’t want to be laying on the grass when he asked her, he wanted to do it properly, on one knee. 

Lily rolled her eyes, “Fine. But I am not saving you from that thing again.” She stood up and walked slowly over to the edge of the water. “Where is everyone else?”

“They’re not coming…” James whispered, taking her hands in his own. “I… I told them not to. Because I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“But we were going to spend one last afternoon down by the lake…” Lily said, turning to look at him with a frown. “What did you want to talk about?”

He drew a nervous breath, looking at her. “Lily… I love you and I wanted to do this before we left Hogwarts, and I guess it's now or never. You’ve always been  _ it  _ for me. All those years of asking, I never imagined that we would get here. But I’m so glad we have. And before you say anything, I spoke to your mum, and she gave me her blessing. So…” Letting go of her hands, he lowered himself to one knee, pulling his mother’s engagement ring out of his pocket. “Lily Evans, will you marry me?”

Lily raised her eyebrows at him, she bit her lip and stayed silent for a few moments. “No… Obviously not.” She said with a big smile on her face. “Not in a million years Potter.” She said and moved down to kiss him. “Yes, you idiot.”

James felt his heart break a little when she said no, the blood draining out of his face. But he was filled with relief when he realised she was kidding, a wide grin spreading across his lips. “R-Really? You mean it?” He let out a joyous laugh, getting to his feet and hugging her tightly, lifting her up and spinning her around.

“Of course I mean it you bloody idiot.” She laughed, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. “Did you really think I’d say no?”

“I thought you might yell at me, that we’re too young.” James chuckled, pressing his forehead against hers. “Do you want to put the ring on, make it official? It was my mother’s…” He said softly, showing her the simple but elegant diamond up close.

“Of course I do.” She laughed holding out her hand. “We’re young, yeah…” But Lily shrugged anyway. 

James couldn’t stop grinning as he slid the ring onto her finger, it magically resized itself to fit her perfectly. “I love you so much.” He cupped her cheek with his hand.

“I love you too, you daft idiot.” She grinned, holding him close. 

He kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly against him, pouring all of his love into the kiss. He was incandescently happy, he was going to  _ marry  _ Lily Evans. 

“So now we are going to be spending the rest of our lives together… Shall we go and find our friends?” She said softly, smiling up at him. 

“Yeah.” He grinned back at her, kissing her forehead. “My future wife.” He took her hand in his and they started to make their way up the grass, finding their friends lounging around, waiting to see what Lily said to James’ question.

“Sirius, you owe me twenty galleons.” Remus said after one look at Lily. 

“You said yes?” Sirius exclaimed sitting up, removing his head from Remus’ lap.

“She did.” James grinned at his friends, almost wanting to cry he was so happy. Peter let out a squeak of happiness, Dorcas and Marlene rushed towards them both, wrapping Lily up in a hug. “Congratulations!” Dorcas said to Lily, admiring her ring.

Lily smiled and hugged her friends and smiled over at the boys. “That’s certainly a good way to end our time at Hogwarts.” Lily laughed. 

James was being pat on the back by Sirius and hugged by Remus, still unable to stop grinning. "It kind of brings us full circle, huh? Starting our time here with you saying no to me, ending with a yes." 

“It could always be a no if you want.” Lily laughed and sat down with their friends lying on the grass. 

"Not for one second." James grinned back at her, winking. "Would you really be so quick to change your mind?" He asked as he settled down next to her. 

“Better stick around and find out.” Lily smirked and rested her head against him.

“I’m planning on it.” James grinned back at her, his eyes glancing down to his mother’s ring on her finger. He still couldn’t quite believe she’d said yes to him, he was floating on cloud nine. They were young, probably too young to get married, but the war was coming. And he didn’t want to waste a single moment. 


	13. Chapter 13

“James, the meeting starts in ten minutes.” Lily said, pulling off her scrubs and throwing them into the washing basket. “I thought you’d already be there.” She said and grabbed a hairbrush and pulled it through her hair. She grabbed her hand bag off the floor and grabbed her wand off the side. “Are you ready?”

James groaned, rolling out of bed and heading to their wardrobe. He pulled his robes out and put them on, sneezing. He had a cold, a bad one. And James Potter was such a grump when he was ill. "Ready as I'll ever be." He said, his nose audibly blocked.

Lily turned to look at him and smiled. “Actually maybe you shouldn’t. Not like that.” She moved to put her hand on his forehead. “Did they send you home from Auror training early?” She said softly. 

He nodded back at her, feeling quite pathetic. "But I'm coming to this. I can't miss a meeting, I'll never catch up. But Miss Healer," James managed a weak smile at her. "Got any Pepper Up Potion stored somewhere? I do love being engaged to a lady of St Mungos."

“Using me for drugs are we?” Lily raised her eyebrows and reached into her bag, pulling out a potion. “Take this one.” She said and then grabbed another. “And take this one, it’ll relieve some of the symptoms, at least for the duration of the meeting.” She said and started heading out the door. 

"I love you." James said as he downed the two potions, shaking his head in disgust at the taste. But he did feel a lot better already, thanks to the help of some medication. He followed her out the door. "It's probably best for me to side-along with you, I'll probably splinch myself if I try to apparate myself in this state."

“Yeah don’t worry. I wasn’t going to let you go alone.” She said and held out her arm to him. “But if you get me sick, I will make your life a living hell.” She scowled at him. She quickly turned on the spot and arrived at James' parents’ old house. Lily smiled at the fond memories she had there, James had given the house to Dumbledore to use for Order meetings. 

"I wouldn't dream of it, darling." James grinned before she apparated them away. His stomach dropped when he saw the house. He had been back a few times, thanks to the Order meetings, but it was still strange. "It feels so weird to come back here." James whispered to Lily. "I love our little home… I don't miss living in such a huge place with so few people inside…"

“At least now it’s full of people…” She said and squeezed his hand. “As long as this isn’t a comment about filling our rooms up.” Lily said and kissed his cheek. “Come on.” She quickly made her way into the house, heading into the dining room where they always had their meetings to see they were the last ones to arrive. Lily let James take the seat and leant against the back of his chair. She smiled at Remus who was standing with Sirius by the wall. 

Dumbledore clasped his hands together now that everybody had arrived. "Well, thank you all for attending once again." He started outlining the Order of the Phoenix's plans, setting up patrols and ideas. James moved his hand to rest on Lily's which was on the back of his chair, smiling when he felt her engagement ring beneath his palm. 

Lily listened intently to everything Dumbledore was saying, she found out she was on patrol with Sirius this week, which was much better than last week when she’d been placed with Alastor Moody. Lily smiled at feeling James’ hand on hers, she softly intertwined their fingers and continued to listen. 

“My sister sent me over with some food.” Fabian said when Dumbledore finished talking, and with a wave of his wand various dishes appeared on the table. 

“Well, you will have to thank Molly from us all.” Dumbledore said and picked up a pastry before sitting down to converse with McGonagall. 

James turned to look up at Lily when Dumbledore stopped addressing the group, a lot of people turning to start talking. "Lucky that you got Padfoot. Guess it's me and Frank this time." James had been paired with Frank Longbottom, who he liked, but wasn't as fun as he might have enjoyed.

“I get to walk the dog.” Lily smirked, but reached forward and took a pastry off the table, “I haven't eaten anything all day.” She said, leaning back against the chair. At this point Remus and Sirius came over and smiled. 

“Stuck with me Evans.” Sirius smirked and put his arm over her shoulders. 

"Shove off, Pads." James said, feeling his nose starting to tickle again as the effects of Lily's potions started to wear off. "You two had better look after each other. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you both…" His sickness scowl had returned.

“He's sick…” Lily said to Sirius, she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. 

“Oh I know. I told them to send him home today.” Sirius smirked. “I met him for lunch and he was just gross.” 

"Ugh, you're all bastards." James groaned, his forehead falling onto the table. 

Remus chuckled, patting James on the back sympathetically. "At least you're paired with Frank, imagine being Wormy and being paired with old Elphias Doge." 

That cheered James up a little, a small laugh escaped him. "True."

“Stop it, boys.” Lily said and rolled her eyes before stifling a yawn. “I'm going to talk to Alice.” Lily said and walked over to one of the younger women. She started asking about James’ Auror training and how the Auror department was going in general. Lily found she got on really well with Frank and Alice, she found herself quite nervous about being the newer members of the Order, finding herself only really socialising with the younger members. 

James watched her leave, his eyes slightly glazed over. Living with Lily was everything he had ever dreamed. Minus the fact that they were fighting a war. 

"Have you two picked a date yet?" Remus asked, noticing where James' eyes had led to. 

"Oh. No. We haven't spoken much about it, we've both been so wrapped up in these meetings and our training, we haven't really had a chance." James replied. He couldn't wait to marry Lily, but they were both  _ so  _ busy, it was beginning to look like it would never happen. "We're hardly ever at home together anymore, let alone having time to have a wedding."

Lily finished up her conversation before heading back over catching the end of what James was saying. “We’ll have time soon, too busy protecting everyone.” She said softly, sitting in a vacated seat next to Remus. “You think you need to tie this down before I run off?” She winked at James. 

"Is that your way of requesting I tie you up, Evans?" James flirted back, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her. "Because I thought we did that last week."

"And, I'm out." Remus said bluntly, getting to his feet. "I'll see you back at the flat, Sirius."

“Have fun on patrol.” Lily said with a soft smile and scowled at James. “You're a dick.” She said and threw the crust of her pastry at him. “I should probably get him home…” She said to Sirius, realising that the potions she had given James were wearing off. 

"Yeah you probably should. Merlin, he looks pathetic." Sirius grinned, leaning over and ruffling James' hair. 

"Sod off." James grumbled, pushing his friend's hand away before getting to his feet. "Shall we?" He said to Lily, holding out his arm to her.

“Come on.” She took his hand and led him outside before apparating them back to the cottage. She walked through the gate and took her shoes off once they were inside. She stifled a yawn again. “Right, get up to bed, I'll make some hot drinks and we can have an early night.”

As soon as they walked through the door, their cat came bounding over and brushed up against James' legs. He picked her up, nuzzling his nose into her soft fur. "Sounds like a plan, my love." He smiled at Lily, kissing the top of her head as he and the cat made their way upstairs to their bedroom.

“I’m still shocked she likes you. She hates everyone.” Lily smiled and made her way into the kitchen, brewing some calming tea the muggle way. She then poured another potion from her bag into one of the mugs. She slipped her slippers on before heading up the stairs and opened the bedroom door with her elbow. 

James had already pulled his pyjamas on, and was snuggled up in bed with their cat in his lap. He was laughing as he teased the animal, tickling her tummy as she clawed at him playfully. He looked up when Lily entered, a wide smile on his face when he saw her, despite still feeling lousy. 

Lily placed her mug on her bedside table before passing him his. “Drink, it’ll mean you’ll sleep better.” She said as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on her pyjamas. “So other than getting sent home sick, how was your day?” 

"Mmm, thank you." James hummed as he accepted his tea, cradling it in his hands before taking a sip. He felt a warmth spread through him. "I spent most of it in bed, this one kept me company." He smiled down at the cat. "How was training today? Save any lives?" 

“I’m glad she did.” Lily said and sat on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her neck with her hand and closed her eyes. “It’s good, it’s less training now, more just to help people. It’s gotten so busy there isn’t really the time to train people. But we are getting there.” Lily said and took a deep breath before tucking herself into bed. 

"I'm proud of you." James smiled warmly at her, nudging her leg with his. "I mean it. You're making a difference, in more ways than one. And you're acing it, every step of the way." He watched as their cat jumped off the bed and left their bedroom, probably wanting to go hunting or something. 

“See, she doesn’t even like me.” Lily sighed and snuggled down into the pillows looking at James and ignoring her drink. “James… Did you want to talk about wedding stuff?” She said softly. 

James' interest was piqued instantly, his eyes drawing to her engagement ring. "We probably should. I don't really want a long drawn out engagement. I just really want to marry you." He grinned at her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "So long as you want to marry me too, that is."

“Yes, James…” She poked her tongue out at him. “I still want to marry you.” She moved her hand so her fingers brushed against the fabric of his shirt. “What about winter? Like December time. A winter wedding...” She said with a small frown. “I don’t know…”

"Whatever you wish, darling." James smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I'm sure it will be a while before we can even get married, what with everything that's going on…" He sighed softly. "Maybe we should just elope…"

“We are not eloping. It’s not like we are going to invite many people anyway… What Sirius, Remus and Peter? My mum… Petunia isn’t coming, even if I invited her.” Lily sat up in his arms, resting her head against him. “Marlene, Dorcas and Mary maybe. Don’t tell me, you want to invite Minerva?”

"I'm positive Sirius is going to ask her to be his date." James laughed, kissing her hair. "I'd like to invite her, Hagrid too. They're good people. I would suggest more of your muggle family, but at a wizarding wedding it's hard to hide all the magic…"

“I’m good with that. As long as Remus brings Dumbledore.” Lily giggled. “I don’t want them there, just my mum. She’s the only one that really cares. She can also deal with the magic stuff…” Lily sat up and reached over to grab her tea, taking a sip. “My sister got married at Christmas…” Lily mused for a moment. “Maybe a summer wedding?”

James mulled it over for a moment, smiling softly as he twirled some of her hair between his fingers. "Your hair glows so beautifully in the summer… Like the sun itself…" He muttered, almost as though he hadn't registered he was speaking.

“The drugs are working…” She smiled. “We don’t have to talk about it now… You should sleep. Just so you are well enough to get back to training tomorrow.” She said and took the mug out of his hands, putting it on the table behind him. 

"Let's get married in the summer, Evans." James mumbled as he sunk down beneath the covers, his eyes growing heavy. "I can't wait to be your husband, have kids, grow old together." His words were whispers by the time his head hit the pillow, he was looking at her through his eyelashes. "I love you more than anything…"

“Eager beaver.” She smiled and kissed his forehead, turning off the light and curling up with her back to him. She intertwined their legs and reached over, setting the muggle alarm clock. She then closed her eyes, letting herself be lost with sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Months of training for the Auror academy whilst also carrying out patrols and missions for the Order had started to take its toll on James. Add that to wedding planning and trying to live a normal life, exhausted was an understatement. And it was becoming dangerous.

James and his coworkers were out on a mission, they had secured knowledge of a small meeting of Death Eaters, and were planning a raid. They had managed to circle the group, staying hidden in the shadows. James was weary, he hadn't had a wink of sleep the night before thanks to having been on patrol for the Order. 

Before they knew it, carnage ensued. The Death Eaters had sprung into action, spells firing out of the tips of their wands. Bright lights coated the night sky. His reaction time slowed by his exhaustion, James only managed to deflect a few of the spells before one caught him, right in the chest. With a gasp, he collapsed to the ground, unconscious. 

Lily was working the evening shift at St Mungo’s, having just become a newly qualified Healer she found herself on one of the busiest shifts so far. There had been a fight around Diagon Alley and there were seven new patients brought in. Lily was called by one of the other nurses and she made her way to the ward. She picked up the chart of the end of the bed and checked through the issues. 

“James…” She muttered and looked to the bed to see her fiancé lying there unconscious. “Fuck.” She quickly looked through what was wrong with him and set to work. She started casting spells over him and pouring potions down his throat. 

“Don’t you need to check that he’s allowed to take these?” The other Healer that was with he asked. 

“No, he’s my fiancé, I know what he can take.” Lily said quickly, she started dropping essence of Dittany onto his open wounds, closing them up. “I’ll stay here, you help someone else.” Lily said and moved to tap James on the face. “Hey, Jamie, I need you to wake up for me.” She said softly.

A small groan escaped James' lips as the potions Lily had given him started to take effect. Blood was still oozing from the deep wound on his chest, the gash taking a while to heal.

"Bloody hell…" He croaked, his eyes squeezed shut. "That hurts like a bitch…" He didn't seem to realise Lily was there, his mind still woozy from the loss of blood.

“You’re a bloody idiot.” Lily snapped, seeing that he was mildly conscious. She moved her wand across him and sighed. “Broken ribs… smashed ribs more like. Looks like you’ll be on Skelegro” She said, making a note on his chart. “Stay down.” She noticed him moving slightly and quickly pushed him back down onto the bed. “Jamie…” She said softly, she touched his face lightly before lifting his eyelids and looking at his eyes. “Concussion…” She commented to no one. “Can you tell me your name?”

"You just said Jamie, so that." James replied, his voice slightly slurred due to the concussion. He slouched back against the pillows, pain wracking his body. "Am I going to die?" He whispered, feeling closer to death than he ever had before.

“Do you really think I’m going to let that happen?” Lily said softly. “James, I need you to answer my questions and I need you to keep your eyes open. Tell me your full name. Tell me your age and occupation.” Lily said, her wand moving to the open wound on his chest. She started doing non-verbal magic to heal the wound. 

James' brow furrowed, but his eyes peeled open, looking at her hazily. He realised it was Lily finally, a small smile on his lips when he saw her hard at work. "My girl…" He muttered, not answering her questions, instead just staring at her in awe. "My girl saving my life…"

Lily kept at work on his chest, when he said _‘my girl’_ she felt a tear fall down her cheek and she quickly wiped at it. “Jamie, listen to me. Name, age and occupation.” She said, trying to keep a strong face. 

"James Potter, eighteen, and occupation is being a failure." He muttered, closing his eyes again, this time not out of pain but out of anger. It was all coming back to him, his idiocy in dropping his guard, his slowed reactions. Getting hit with a curse. 

“You aren’t an idiot, James.” Lily said softly and picked up another potion, helping him drink it. “There are six others here…” She said before touching his face again. “Eyes open for me, Jamie. Tell me what you remember, what happened?” She said and moved to rip open his shirt to check other areas on his chest.

James sputtered when the potion hit his throat, it burned like fire. At her touch and command, his eyes opened. "Death Eaters." He grimaced and winced when she touched a particularly tender spot on his chest. "Ah! We thought we had them, but they saw us coming." He hissed when more Dittany hit one of his wounds, sealing it up. "Merlin's pants, that shit is like acid…"

“That’s becoming more and more common…” Lily sighed and quickly stopped when he winced. “Sorry…” She said quietly. “Well that ‘shit’ is what’s probably going to save your life, so suck it up.” Lily was in Healer mode and found herself being stern with him. “Who else was with you at the attack?” She asked, best to keep him talking. She moved and pulled a bottle of Skelegro out from the shelves next to her.

James gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Too many. Everyone. I don't know, Lil." His hand flew to his side, a sharp pain hitting him as he drew a breath too quickly. "I've got to quit. I can't do this." He didn't realise that he was crying as he said it.

“Careful.” She said, noticing that he was moving too quickly. She brought a cup of Skelegro to him and helped him sit up slightly to drink it. Usually she would move the bed, but instead she moved James against herself so she was holding him up. “You really think I was going to let you back out there after that?” She said and moved to wipe the tears off his face. “You don’t have to work, James. You do enough for the Order, you can quit if you want.”

A small sob escaped his throat. "I- I never see you…" More tears spilled down his cheeks, the floodgates had opened and his concussion was not helping to hold anything back. "I'm _tired,_ Lily. I'm so fucking exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open on the field. All I want is to be home with you, snuggled up together in our house where no one can find us. Just us, a family. But instead I'm out fighting Death Eaters at work, then patrolling and following Death Eaters in my free time."

He sighed, leaning against her heavily. His face was buried against her neck, he could smell her hair. "I miss Hogwarts. Basking in the sun, finding secluded corners, our broom cupboard. I can't- I don't want to fail, but I'm not cut out to be an Auror. Not when there's too much at stake."

“It’s okay, Jamie.” She said softly. Once he had drunk the Skelegro, she had her arms wrapped around him. “I know. We can have that. I promise. We will have that.” She said, moving to lay him down but still held him close. “James, you don’t have to be an Auror anymore, Sirius stopped as well. You boys can just be safe, there are so many other things you can do.” She rested him back against the pillows and placed her hand on his forehead. “Just concentrate on getting better right now. We can talk about all of this later.” 

"I love you." James whispered, his eyes already drooping as he gazed at her, unconsciousness taking over him once more. He slipped into the blackness of sleep, unable to keep himself awake any longer.

Lily had continued to work until the end of her shift, checking in on James regularly. But once her shift was done she went back to James and curled up in the chair next to him, watching him sleep. After a while and her already twelve hour working day, she fell asleep in the chair. 

James woke up again in the hospital, his eyes and mind blurry. He briefly remembered being here, Lily treating him. He did notice how much his chest and head ached. He glanced over to see his fiancée curled up beside him, fast asleep. She should have gone home, she'd spent all day at St Mungo's, and now she remained by his bedside? Merlin, he loved her. 

Lily woke up with a start, not realising she had fallen asleep. She looked over to see James with his eyes open in the bed. She jumped up, moving over to him. “How are you? What hurts? What can I do?” She asked although her vision was still blurry from waking up and her scrubs were all crumpled from sleeping in a chair in them. 

"Lily…" James croaked, his mouth dry from thirst. "Y-You shouldn't have stayed. You should have gone home, not here." He gazed at her in wonder, utterly in awe that she remained beside him. "I'm okay, just a bit sore, really." He was lying of course.

“You really thought I’d go home…” Lily sighed and pulled out her wand, moving it over him. “The potions are working. You’ll need a new dose in a few hours.” She looked at the clock on the wall, it was 6am, she had finished work at 2. “Liar.” She muttered, waving her wand to change the dressings on his body. “Shit. I haven’t told Sirius.” Lily muttered and waved her wand again. Her doe patronus stood before her and she said the message. “James is okay. In St Mungo's. I’m looking after him. Room 402.”

"Did I say I wanted to quit?" James asked her quietly, trying to ignore the throbbing in his ribs. He'd had injuries before, mostly from Quidditch. But these were far worse, especially the wound on his chest. "I can't remember it all, it's sort of a blur."

“Yeah… You did.” She said and placed a cooling charm on his ribs. She also got the Skelegro out and handed him another cup. “It’ll help.” She said before standing there and folding her arms. She tried to hide a yawn. “You said it was too dangerous…"

James choked on the Skelegro again, grimacing at the taste. Very carefully, he scooted to the side on the bed, leaving a small gap. Giving her a knowing look, he lifted up the duvet. "I meant it. I don't enjoy it, I worry that I won't come home to you every time we're out on a mission. Now please, come lay with me? It doesn't feel right being in a bed without you…" 

“Stop moving.” Lily scolded. She watched him for a moment, her arms wrapped around herself again. “I can’t-” She started but looked at him. He was stubborn when he was sick. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed and lay down next to him, making sure no part of her body was touching his, ensuring he was okay. “Go back to sleep, it’ll help you heal.” She said in a quiet voice. 

Gingerly, he wrapped his arm around her, his face moving so that it was against her neck. "Thank you. Thank you for staying with me, looking after me." He whispered, his eyes closing again. "I love you, Lily."

“I love you too.” She said watching him the whole time. She waited till she knew he was asleep before moving off the bed. She started to check over him with her wand again accepting that she just needed to wait. She went back to the chair and rested her head on her knees, closing her eyes.

\---

"Lily?" A quiet voice spoke a few hours later, a gentle hand pressing against her shoulder blades. It was one of Lily's supervisors. "Lily, honey. I need you to wake up for me."

“Shit.” Lily stood up quickly and brushed herself down. “Hey, sorry… Drifted off.” She stuttered through her words and quickly rubbed at her eyes. “What do you need?”

"For you to go home, sweetheart." She said, smiling at her softly. "Your fiancé is well enough to rest in the comfort of his own home, I've monitored his condition. We could really use his bed, there's been another attack." She looked slightly awkward as she said it. "I know you should be training today, but you're exhausted, darling. And you should have a few days to look after Mr Potter, and recover yourself too."

“No… It’s okay. I’ll get Sirius and Remus to come and get him. I can stay. I can work. If you need me, I can work.” She said, brushing some loose hairs behind her ear. “I’ll explain what they need to do and then I can be wherever you want me.”

"Lily," The Healer said, authority coming into her voice now. "It wasn't up for debate. We all agreed that you would be too distracted, too tired. Go home, get some rest, come back in a few days. We will be fine."

“Okay…” Lily said reluctantly. “But if you need me, just send me an owl.” She said with a forced smile at her superior. Then she went about sorting James out for heading home. Once she had gotten his stuff and made sure he had clothes on without waking him, she touched his shoulder. “Jam- James. Wake up for me, I’ve got to take you home.”

A groan escaped his lips as he stirred, his eyes peeling open again. "Huh?" He was very groggy thanks to all of the magical remedies he had taken the past few hours. "Home?"

“Yeah. I’m taking you home. I can do the rest of the stuff you need there.” She said softly, helping him sit up. With a wave of her wand she brought a wheelchair around next to the bed. “Let’s get you out of bed.”

Very carefully, and using Lily to help him balance, James swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting to his feet. He let out a moan of pain as he stood up, his hand gripping her arm tightly.

“I got you.” She said and slowly moved and lowered him into the wheelchair. “Nice and easy.” She said softly, helping him move his legs into the foot rest. “We’ll floo, it’ll be safer.” She said and headed out of the ward with all their stuff and down the hall to the main office, which she knew she could use to floo out of. 

Lily got them to the fireplace and thankfully it was big enough to fit them both in and she dropped the floo powder and called out. “Potter's Cottage.” She pushed James out into the living room and was surprised to see Remus and Sirius stood there. “Hey.” She said with a soft smile.

"Oh bloody hell…" James muttered when he saw his two friends, his hand flying to his face. "What in the name of Merlin are you two doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H: Hey! Just a little comment to say thank you for your lovely comments and reads, I'm very excited about the next chapter where we do something a little different so I hope you are enjoying it so far and are staying safe and having a good December. x


	15. Chapter 15

“Looking after you.” Sirius smirked, then looked up at Lily. “Right, we’ll get him upstairs and into bed. There’s a cup of coffee and some pastries in the kitchen for the lady.” Sirius winked at her before taking the wheelchair off her and pushing James towards the stairs. 

Sirius hovered the wheelchair up to James and Lily’s bedroom and pulled it up alongside the bed and looked at James. “Right tell me the best way to move you.” Sirius said while Remus stood in the doorway watching them. 

"You're a bastard…" James growled and tried to hoist himself out of the wheelchair, but let out a cry of pain, falling back into the seat. 

“Prongs. Come on, let me help. I’m not being a dick.” Sirius said and moved to take most of James’ weight and picked him up to place him on the bed. Once Sirius knew he was safely on the bed, he moved back and sat in the wheelchair, moving it around with a smirk. Remus walked over and leant on the vanity near the bed. 

\\\

Lily sat in the kitchen, her hands around the mug of coffee and she was picking at the pastry. “You okay?” A voice asked behind her and she saw Peter, Lily forced a smile. 

“I’m fine.” She said and sipped her drink. 

Peter walked closer to Lily, putting his hand on her shoulder. He looked ill, his eyes sunken, his skin pallid. He somehow looked worse than Remus, but still managed a small smile. "Is there anything I can do? Maybe you want to talk about it?" 

Lily frowned, looking at him. “It’s fine, Sirius and Remus are getting James into bed. What you could do for me is take a seat…” Lily said, offering out the chair next to her. “I don’t mean to be mean, Peter, but you look like shit.” She said with a soft smile and offered one of the pastries Remus had obviously chosen. 

Peter chuckled as he sat down next to Lily, accepting the pastry from her. "That's war for you." He shrugged, taking a bite. "I guess it's had a bit more of an effect on me than others."

“You should see James. He looks worse.” Lily tried to smile, but it didn’t reach her face. She sipped the coffee. “I know the Order was there during the attack, you were on duty, did you see what happened?” She asked, her hand moving to her hair and undoing the hair tie. 

//

"I'm quitting." James said as he stared at the ceiling from his position on the bed. "I can't put Lily through this again, and I can't handle the pressure… But I feel like such a fucking failure."

“Good.” Sirius said with a small look at Remus. “Prongs, at least you got in. I didn’t even get through the interview process.” He shrugged slightly. “You’re not a failure. You are fighting with the Order. You are doing your bit for this all. No one will blame you for wanting to quit.” He said, putting a hand on James’ arm. 

“It’ll be safer for all of us.” Remus said softly. “Means we can protect each other…” He blushed slightly at the selfishness of the comment. “When we found out you got hurt… Just… Keep safe from now on, yeah?”

James shook his head, trying to hold back tears. "I just wish the war didn't happen in  _ our  _ lifetime. It's not fair, why should we have to fight it?" His hand pressed to his eyes, he let out a shaky breath. "No, I don't mean that. I just- I've got so many people I want to keep safe, and I feel pretty useless if I fail at that." 

“Prongs,” Sirius said, moving to take his hand in his own. “You are not useless and you didn’t fail. One fight, one fight you lost. Not the battle, not the war. We are all still here and we are all fighting. We are fighting for each other.” His eyes flicked to Remus again. “We fight for who we love. We all love each other.” Sirius smiled at his brother. “The war sucks. If I only had one wish it would be for us all to be out of it, but we have to keep on. We will keep each other safe. You’ve got to marry that girl downstairs anyway.” Sirius smirked. 

\\\

"Yeah. I did." Peter said, swallowing another bite of his pastry. "We had circled the Death Eaters, but we must have a spy. Because they ambushed  _ us  _ instead." He shifted in his seat, looking nervous and uncomfortable. "Spells were flying everywhere, I could see James was struggling. He looked  _ so  _ tired. He let down his guard and a bright orange spell caught him square in the chest."

“Yeah…” Lily said quietly and rubbed her eyes. “Which Death Eaters were there?” She asked him and then looked up at Peter. “Was he there?” She asked, her face showing no emotion. “Did he...“ She winced. “James’ wounds… The cut… Did  _ he _ do it?”

Peter looked terrified, he was wringing his hands together nervously. He glanced briefly into Lily's eyes, before looking away again quickly. He nodded. "Yes. Snape cast the curse. I s-saw it… Sectumsempra, his… His favourite. I should have realised you would have recognised it, ever since he used it on Prongs that day at the lake. The d-day he c-called you a-" He broke off, his cheeks flushed pink. 

Lily nodded, putting down her drink. She pulled her scrubs off, throwing them into the basket she had in the corner, revealing the normal clothes she had on underneath. She didn’t say anything to Peter for a few minutes as she walked around the kitchen. “I umm… I need to go for a walk. I’ll be back soon. They’re all upstairs if you want to join them.” She said and grabbed her coat off the hook. “I’ll be back later.” She said and walked out of the house. 

She walked down and out of the front garden before turning on the spot. She apparated to the park that she had laid in with James and the many times she’d spent time with Snape.

//

James squeezed Sirius's hand, turning to look at his brother. "Summer." He said, a small smile forming on his lips. "We're going to get married in the summer, so clear your diaries." He glanced up at Remus, giving his friend a smile too. 

“Then the summer is free for you both.” Sirius smirked and started spinning himself around in his wheelchair. “So I heard you had a really cute nurse at St Mungo’s, did you manage to get her number?” He smirked, putting his feet up on the bed.

"I've had her number for years." James winked at Sirius. The bedroom door opened and Peter walked in. "Hey Wormy, Lily with you?"

Peter stood in the doorway with his arms folded. “She went for a walk… I feel like she’s had a long day…” He moved to sit on the bed next to Sirius’. “She said she’ll be back later…”

//

Snape jumped when he heard a crack, spinning around to see Lily Evans right in front of him. "Lily? What are you doing here?"

“How dare you.” She snapped at him. “How fucking dare you?” There was such venom in her words and her hands shook as she held her wand. “Were you going to kill him? Were you going to murder him? What did you think was going to happen then, Severus? Did you think I was going to come crawling back to you?” 

"What the hell?" Snape spat back, his eyes darkening. "What are you talking about, Lily? Murder who?" But it was obvious in his voice that he knew  _ precisely  _ what she was talking about. 

\\\

James sighed, his eyes landing on the window. "Did you see who cursed me, Wormy? You were there, you might have seen…" 

“They were all wearing those new masks they have. To hide their identities. I didn’t see…” Peter said quietly. “Sorry, it could have been anyone…” He said with a small wheeze. 

“I’ll be back…” Remus said quietly and left the room closing the door behind him. 

//

“I found him in St Mungo’s, Severus. With cuts across his body. Cuts like I’ve seen before.” She winced again, thinking back to the way he had been when she saw him. “I’m not stupid.” She snapped at him, raising her wand. “You’ll pay for what you did.”

“Lily, don’t.” Remus said from a spot behind her. 

"What did you expect?" Snape retorted back to her. "I was under orders. So it happened to be Potter that got in the way, I simply cast a curse. It was his fault he couldn't deflect it.  _ Pathetic. _ " He spat, his hand on his own wand now. He glared at Lupin, who was now behind Lily. "Stay out of this, werewolf. It doesn't concern you."

Remus remained where he was at the edge of the park, his hands slightly raised but he still held his wand. He didn’t move, showing Snape he wasn’t a threat. 

“Don’t you dare.” Lily snarled at him. “If I wasn’t there, if I hadn’t been the one to find him, he would be dead. You know that. That’s not simply a curse, it’s a death sentence. All those years of you trying to tell me you weren’t on the bad side, when you invent curses like that!” She was almost shouting now. “You tried for years to tell me you weren’t the man I see in front of me, how can you justify this? How can this be okay?” She angrily wiped at the tears in her eyes. 

“Lily come back, come home. He’s not worth it.” Remus said softly, still keeping a distance. 

\\\

James' hand flew to his bandaged chest, his eyes widening. "Snape… It was him…" His eyes narrowed again as he glared at Peter. "You told her. She's- She's gone to find him…" He looked to Sirius in a panic. "He could kill her!"

Sirius stood up, about to head to the door when a patronus in the shape of a wolf appeared. “I’ve got this. Stay there.” It was Remus’ voice and Sirius turned to look at James. 

James pushed himself up, biting back the pain, trying to climb out of the bed. He was panicking now, fear evident in his eyes. He stumbled to his feet, reaching out of Sirius. "I- I can't lose her… No…"

“Prongs, lie down. No point hurting yourself.” Sirius said, moving to stop James from going any further. “Remus is there, he’ll keep her safe. You know he will. I’ll go if you want me to, but you have to stay here.” He said. For the first time that day his face was serious. 

James sobbed against Sirius' chest, clinging to him desperately. How could she have left like that, put herself in that kind of danger? 

//

"I told you. I told you so many times that he would hurt you." Snape said, his voice low and hardly more than a whisper. "Potter is a coward. An arrogant, self-centred coward." Snape took a step closer to Lily, deliberately moving so that her wand pressed against his chest. "And you want to marry someone like that? I thought better of you.  _ Expected  _ better." 

“Hurt me? He hasn’t hurt me. He’s never hurt me!” Lily took a deep breath, glancing down at her hands before looking back at Snape. “Expected better? You expected me to be your little lap dog for most of your life. What did you want? Want us to be married? Wanted me to be your little wife?” She kept her voice low enough this time. “James Potter is a better man you’ll ever be, and you know why? Because he doesn’t kill innocent people, he doesn’t torture people, he doesn’t work for a man who wants everyone like me dead. Go on then, Snape. You have your orders, isn’t it to kill all Mudbloods? Go on then. I’m here. Standing in front of you as a Mudblood. Are you going to kill me, Snape?” 

"I won't." Snape replied, his voice dripping with venom. "I won't let you die, Lily. You wouldn't understand." He growled, feeling his dark mark burning on his forearm. "I have to go. You should reconsider your choices." 

“If you kill him, I will die. If you hurt him,  _ you _ will die.” Lily spat out at him. Her wand lowered. “That’s a promise.”

He stalked away from her, turning on the spot and disapparating. 

Remus moved to Lily, his hand on her shoulder. "Lily… Lily, are you okay?" 

“I’m fine.” Lily said, moving her shoulder away from him. “Don’t tell him what happened. Tell him you stopped me before I saw him…” She said and took a deep breath, pocketing her wand. “He doesn’t need to know about that…”

\\\

Sirius held James. “It’s okay, Remus will have stopped her. She’s just angry, she probably wasn’t even going to do anything…” He said, trying to calm James down. 

James took a few shuddering breaths, sinking so that he was sitting on the bed again, still holding onto Sirius. "Why… Why did she go?"

“She’ll be home soon.” Sirius said softly. “You can ask her.” 

//

"Lily…" Remus replied, stepping back towards her again. "He should know. He deserves to know…" 

“No. We all keep some secrets and that’s mine. I’m not telling him and I’m asking you not to as well.” She said, folding her arms. “You can say you found me buying milk or something…” She said and sighed. “Remus… Please.” 

Remus sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. But he's probably already figured it out." He gave her a knowing look. "You know he'll figure it out eventually, if he hasn't already…" 

“Yeah… Well, not when he’s like this.” She said and sighed. “Come on, let’s go back.” She turned on the spot, arriving in front of the cottage. She waited for Remus to join her before walking in. “We’re back.” She called out before hanging up her coat and walking into the bedroom. “Remus told me you were worried. I was only going out for some milk.” She said keeping a neutral face, “No need to get so worried.”

James looked at her, his face full of worry. "What the hell, Lily? You went after  _ Snape _ ? He could have killed you." He reached out to her, anger coursing through him. "Don't try and bullshit me. I know what you did."

“I’m not you, James. I’m not that… I’m not that brash with everything I do. I went for a walk to clear my head. I can’t stand the fact that he wants to hurt you more because of me. That’s all. I’m not you.” She snapped out at him. “I’m not doing this right now.” She looked at him reaching for her before walking out of the room. 

James looked at Remus, who shrugged. But James could read his friend well enough. Grimacing, he got to his feet. He used the walls as support and followed her out of the room. "Don't-" He shouted after her. "Don't avoid me, we need to talk about this. No secrets. We made that promise the day I told you about Prongs."

“James, get back in that bed.” She said, turning to look at him. “I’m not avoiding you…” She ran her hand over her face. “I’m not keeping secrets from you, I’m just not telling you everything…” She said and folded her arms again. “It’s not like you haven’t done it before. I know about that time you got hurt during the first week of Auror training and conveniently forgot that you were sleeping over at the boys’ flat, just to hide the damage from me. Alice told me. I know you do things and keep them from me, not in a bad way. But am I not allowed to do the same thing? It’s not a bad thing, not a dangerous thing. It was something I had to do. For me.” She said, taking a deep breath. “James, just please get back into bed.”

"No. I  _ was  _ staying at the boys’ flat, I broke my ankle, Lil. Remus healed it in seconds." He leant against the wall, ignoring the pain in his torso. "I didn't seek out a known Death Eater who hates the person I love." He hated arguing with her, but it was necessary. "Talk to me. Please." 

“And?” She scowled and leant back against the wall. “I threatened him.” She said, unable to look at him. “I told him if he hurt you, I’d kill him.” She said, starting to feel sick now. She’d had about three hours of sleep and gone through every length of emotion in the last few hours. “He wouldn’t hurt me.” 

James stared at her, willing her to keep talking. "But he would hurt everyone you love." He said softly, his voice full of empathy now. "I understand why. I probably would have done the same thing. But you didn't need to lie about it."

“Now… will you get back to bed? Please.” She urged and closed her eyes. “Just please get back into bed.” She let the tears fall down her face. 

Still using the wall as support, he moved closer to her. His hand brushed her tears away. "I will… But only after I've kissed you." And kiss her he did. He held her close, his hand cupping her cheek. 

Lily kissed him back and rested her forehead against his. “Now get back in bed before I force your arse there.” She said and helped him back into bed. Remus and Sirius were now standing together and Peter was sitting in the wheelchair. “I’m going to start dinner for us all…”. 


	16. Chapter 16

"Well that was dramatic." Sirius said, grinning at James. "How long has it been since you two argued anyway?"

"Shut up, Padfoot." James sighed, sinking against the pillows. "I can't believe she did that…"

“She just wanted to keep you safe.” Remus said, sitting hunched over while looking down at his feet. “We all want to protect each other. She was protecting you. You would do it if the situations were switched.” He said with a small shrug. “I think we all would.” 

"I know we would…" He sighed. "I hate that I got hurt, and I hate Snape even more for being the one who did it." It was then that James noticed Peter in the corner. "Bloody hell, Wormy. You look more ill than I do." 

“I-I’m fine.” Peter said with a small shrug. “Just not been coping with it all. I’m fine.” He stuttered through before forcing a smile. “I’m sure one of Lily’s dinners will perk me right back up.” He wheezed. 

"You sure?" James raised his eyebrow at him, completely missing the fact that Peter was scratching at his left forearm. "I hate all the stress this is putting on everyone." He said, shifting so that he was sitting up in bed. 

“Lily’s food fixes everything.” Peter smiled and started moving around in the wheelchair, mimicking Sirius from earlier. 

“Careful.” Remus said, watching James. “I think it’s time for more meds…” He said, indicating to the potion vials on the bedside table. 

James sighed, grabbing one of the potions and downing it. He shuddered as it affected him, this one was like ice. "I hate taking potions, I hate getting hurt and  _ having  _ to take potions." 

“Maybe next time you can all tell us you are struggling and we can take over some of your patrols?” Remus said with his arms folded in a very Lily stance. 

“Don’t be mean to the poor guy, Rem.” Sirius said standing up and putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Let’s leave him to sleep and then we can all have dinner together when he wakes up.” Sirius said, moving his hand and slapping Remus’ butt. “Come on Wormy.” The two of them said as they left James and Lily’s room. 

James groaned when he settled down in the bed again, falling asleep pretty soon after.

Remus, Sirius and Peter made their way down to the kitchen, finding Lily in the midst of cooking.

"Smells good, Red." Sirius grinned, looping his arm around her waist. "Give Snivellus a good bollocking for me?"

“Shut up, Sirius.” Lily said and rolled her eyes, placing the lid on the dish. She moved out of his arms and moved to sit at the table with the others. “I just… You lot would do it, so why can’t I?”

"Cause he's in love with you." Remus said, giving her a sad smile. "He wants to keep you safe, especially since Snape was the one that cursed him, he knew how he would be. I'm just glad I got there before you did something you would regret."

“I wasn’t going to hurt him. Just make sure he didn’t hurt us.” Lily said and put her head in her hands. 

Remus put his arm around Lily’s shoulders, comforting her. He didn’t really know what else to say to her, so kept quiet, sharing a look with Sirius.

Peter made a motion with his arm, a small cry of pain escaping him. His right hand tugged his left sleeve down. 

Sirius looked to his friend, a curious look on his face. "Ants in your pants, Wormy?"

“Yeah… Sorry… Feeling off…” Peter said and winced. “I need to get home anyway, Mum will be asking for me.” He said before quickly leaving the house.

Sirius stared at the door that Peter had just left through. “Wormtail’s always been a weird fellow, but I’ve never seen him act like that before. He really must be struggling…”

“I think he’s worried. I don’t imagine his mum will help the situation…” Lily said quietly and rested her head against Remus. 

“We’re all coping in our own ways. Maybe he’s doing drugs?” Sirius said with a smirk. 

“He’s not doing drugs…” Lily quipped and rolled her eyes at him. 

“Who knows…” Sirius quipped, snorting as he said it. “Maybe Wormtail is the spy! Imagine, Voldemort recruiting him to be a Death Eater.” He fell about laughing. 

Even Remus smiled at the idea of this, his arm still around Lily. A full moon was coming up soon, and he was feeling pretty peaky. At least he had Sirius during his transformations still, but it wasn’t the same without James and Peter, roaming through the Forbidden Forest all together.

“If James does decide to quit becoming an Auror, at least you’ll have him around a bit more.” Lily said softly, making the others realise she hadn’t really been listening to the rest of the conversation. 

“True.” Sirius leaned back in his chair, resting his head on his arms which he linked behind his neck. “It’s not been as fun running around with just Moony at the full moon.” It was always weird talking about the full moon and being Animagi with Lily, they’d had to keep it secret for so many years. “You ever ridden James, Red?” Sirius grinned, winking at her. “In stag form, I mean.”

“You’re a bastard sometimes.” Lily rolled her eyes at him and yawned. “I’m sure you’ve loved it being just you two…” Lily looked at Sirius with one eyebrow raised. “How is that flat of yours, just two bachelors bringing home women every night, eh?” She said before standing up to stir the dinner. 

Remus and Sirius shared a look, smirking to each other when Lily turned her back on them. They didn’t answer, letting the silence answer for them. 

A clattering noise above them sounded, James had woken, smelt the food and realised he was alone. So he’d tried to get out of bed himself, but had knocked the wheelchair into the wardrobe in the process. But he wasn’t in as much pain now, managing to stand himself up long enough to make it onto the landing.

Lily sighed and quickly ran up the stairs to catch James. “Damn it, you could have just called us.” She said grabbing James and helping him stand. “You’re meant to be resting…”

“I can rest in a chair downstairs, Lily.” James replied, using her as a point to steady himself. “I don’t want to be in bed forever. I’m not in too much pain, I just want to eat at a table, not on my lap.” He smiled softly at her, trying not to worry her. He hated seeing the concerned look on her face. “I’m okay, love. I promise.”

“Fine.. Fine.” She said, still taking his weight. She slowly helped him down the stairs and they made it into the kitchen, she placed him down on a seat next to Remus before moving back to the stew cooking. “His Majesty wanted to join us.”

Remus snorted, giving James a wide grin, who simply rolled his eyes back. “I’m a little sore, darling, not on my deathbed.” 

Sirius looked absolutely thrilled at the tension in the air, looking between Lily and James with an eager look on his face. “Merlin, if you two are still acting like this on your wedding day, your vows are going to be very entertaining.”

“Well, let’s hope James keeps himself alive long enough to get to our wedding vows.” Lily said, not turning to look at them. 

“Someone’s in the dog house… Or deer house…” Remus smirked at James. 

“Bloody hell…” James whispered, putting his head in his hands. He hated being at odds with Lily, but he didn’t want to be coddled constantly. He was an adult, he could take care of himself to some degree. “I should probably write to Moody, let him know I’m quitting…”

“You can always talk to him at tomorrow's meeting.” Sirius said and Lily turned around. 

“He’s not allowed to leave the house for a few days…” She said, folding her arms over her chest. 

James simply sighed and grabbed his wand. “Accio quill and parchment.” The mentioned items flew into the kitchen and landed on the table in front of him. James ducked his head, starting to write.

“Want us to come over after the meeting and tell you both what was said?” Remus said, assuming that Lily would be staying with James to keep him out of more trouble.

“It’s okay… I’m going to go anyway. Got some stuff I need to tell Dumbledore.” She said and looked over James. “I’m sure he can be okay at home alone for an hour.” She said, watching James as he wrote. She turned back to the dinner, turning off the heat and adding it to bowls that she passed between the four of them. 

After a few minutes of quill scratching parchment, James sat back, rolling up the parchment. “Hopefully, that will suffice. Oh, thank you.” He said to Lily as she passed his bowl to him. He smiled at the smell of the stew as it filled his nostrils, forever grateful that Lily could cook so well.

Lily sat down and ate the stew with everyone else, but she could feel her eyelids drooping shut. She shook her head to clear it, finishing the bowl. “There’s more if you boys want it.” She said and sat back in the chair, folding her arms and tried to keep her eyes open. 

It didn’t take long for the three Marauders to finish eating. Once they were done Remus immediately stood up, taking the dishes to the sink and cast a spell to set them washing themselves up. 

“We should probably go.” Sirius said, also getting to his feet. “Thank you for the meal, Lily.” He kissed her cheek.

“Yeah, thank you, Lily.” Remus smiled at her warmly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Prongs. Both of you, get some rest, okay?” 

“Any time, you know that.” Lily said softly and waved slightly at the pair. She didn’t look at James until they were both out of sight. “You should get back into bed.”

“Only if you come with me.” Jame replied, taking her hand in his own. “You’re exhausted, Lily. You slept in a  _ chair  _ last night.”

“I can always sleep in the spare room… Maybe I should…” She said and moved her hand out of his grip. 

“Lily…” James whispered, looking at her in shock. “Don’t… Please…” His eyes were wide, his heart breaking a little when she spoke with such coldness in her voice. “You shouldn’t. We need to get over this, stick together. I forgive you for running out like that, I love you. Don’t push me away now.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, James? I know if this was the other way around you would have gone out and you probably would have killed him or died trying. I go out and do something much less dangerous and much less rash and you… You act like I’ve done something stupid. How am I meant to be okay with that? With these double standards…” She said sitting back in her chair. “I don’t know what I want to do right now.”

James felt a tear slip down his cheek. “I was terrified when I realised where you had gone, I acted out of anger, when I should have acted out of understanding. I know I would have done the same, but I was so scared for your safety. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you, Lily. I would die.” He pushed the tear out of the way, his hands shaking with emotion. “Please… Just… Lets go to bed, together… I’m so sorry for how I acted, I didn’t think.”

_ If you kill him, I will die.  _

_ Lily. I would die.  _

Lily winced at his words. “It’s fine. We both fucked up…” She said plainly. She stood up and moved to help him up. “Come on. I’m exhausted…” She said. walking them both upstairs to their bedroom. She found her pyjamas and went to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth and hair. She walked back and stood in the doorway looking at him. “Do you trust me?”

“More than anyone.” James said softly, hobbling over to her. He took both of her hands in his, ignoring the slight burning in his ribs. “I trust you with my whole soul, Evans. I know I’m still an arrogant, pompous arse sometimes, but you’re my whole world.” He let go of one of her hands to bring his to her cheek, stroking the skin there softly as he stared into her eyes. “My whole Universe…”

Lily looked him in the eyes, she could see he meant it. She moved forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Soon enough, you won't be able to call me Evans…” She said with a small smile. “Now get into bed before you split something.” She said and moved him over to the bed, helping him settle down before climbing in on the other side. 

“Hmm.” James smiled when she climbed in next to him, shifting himself close to her. “Lily Potter… It sounds so perfect.” He pressed another soft kiss to her lips, his fingers playing with her hair. “I can’t wait to be your husband…”

Lily just smiled, resting her head on the pillows and closing her eyes. “Wake me up only if you’re dying…” She said in a whisper as she drifted off. 

James smiled, gazing at her sleeping for a while before he too succumbed to sleep, his arm wrapped tightly around her. 


	17. Chapter 17

Lily ran and ducked behind a skip on the abandoned London street, she looked to see James run past and grabbed him, pulling him to stand with her. She put her finger to her lips as they could hear someone walking towards them along the street. She held out her wand and as soon as the cloaked death eater came into sight she stunned them. 

“Nice one!” James whispered and kissed her cheek, grinning. “I can’t believe it’s taken this long for us to be partnered up! We make the best team.” He ducked his head out to look down the street. “All clear…”

Lily stood up, keeping her wand out. “I can think of a few reasons not to put us together.” She said with a smirk. She brushed her clothes down and smiled at him. “Not too bad yourself out there.” She said and began walking towards the unconscious body. She waved her wand and they were wrapped in ropes and then she sent a patronus to Moody. “We should go.” 

“Yeah.” James grinned, pulling her in for a quick kiss. “You’re brilliant, you know that right?” He waved his wand, the death eater’s body rose a few feet off the ground, lifted by an invisible stretcher. “You got the portkey?”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes but kissed him back. “Yeah.” She pulled an old sock out of her back pocket and passed it to him. “All yours.” She said and smiled. 

James laid the sock on top of the Death Eater, keeping his hand on part of it. He checked his watch. “We’ve got a minute until it’s going to take us back. We really caught this bastard in the nick of time, huh?” He grinned.

“We are very good.” She said with a laugh. At that point an explosion sounded at the other end of the road. “Shit.” She called out pointing her wand towards the sound. Three death eaters appeared in front of them and without a pause she threw a stunning spell at the one closest to her. 

James took his hand off of the sock immediately, just as it glowed blue, the unconscious death eater disappearing. He managed to draw his wand quickly enough to cast a powerful protection charm that stopped spells that the Death Eaters had thrown at them both. “Lily! Get cover!” 

“I’m not leaving you behind you idiot.” She said throwing another spell and taking out one of the death eaters. She started to move to the side when she took a nasty spell to the shoulder, she recoiled moving behind James. She waved her wand and another patronus flew out behind them, calling for backup. 

James let out a shout of rage when Lily got hit, darting out to throw spells at the death eaters. He hit one more of them with a stunning spell, casting another protego before slipping back behind the wall to see how injured Lily was. “You okay? Is it bad? Merlin, Lily, don’t scare me like that”.

“I’m fine, James.” She said, holding her arm slightly. “I’ve called for backup.” She said and took a deep breath, resting against the wall. 

James gave her shoulder a quick look over, he wasn’t nearly as good at healing as she was, but she had given him basic healing training. When he noticed that it wasn’t too bad an injury, he gave her a kiss on the head before looking over when a loud crack sounded beside them. Kingsley Shacklebolt, an old school friend of theirs who had been a few years above them appeared in the alleyway beside them.

“How many?” Kingsley asked, noticing Lily cradling her arm.

“There were three but I’m pretty sure there are more.” She replied and groaned, sagging against the wall. 

“Lily knocked out one, I took out another.” James told him, casting a charm that would bind up Lily’s shoulder, giving it support. “I think more are on the way, Lily needs to get away from here…” James wanted to stay and help, but he also knew that hewouldn’t want her to leave him behind, so he shouldn’t do the same.

“Go on without me.” She said. “I'll stay here as back up.” She said. “Get out there and stay safe.” She kissed him softly. “Im fine, my wand arm still works.” 

“I love you…” He whispered, kissing her once one, pressing their foreheads together before he pulled away. James and Kingsley stepped out into the street together, both casting a protection charm as soon as they were out in the open.

Lily moved so she could watch them, she shot a few spells at the death eaters before leaning back against the wall again, gasping in pain. She turned to look and saw Remus next to her. “Alright, trouble?” She said with a small smile. “They need help.” She groaned. 

James spun on the spot, slashing spells at the death eaters as more showed up. He spotted more members of the Order appearing, being careful not to hit them. He took down death eater after death eater, ruthlessly stunning and hexing.

Remus nodded at Lily. “You alright?” He jerked his head towards her shoulder. 

“I’m fine.” She said and took a deep breath. “Just get out there and help.” She said and forced a smile. 

Remus gave her a grin before also jumping into the fray, finding his way to James' side.

“Moony! What took you so long, mate?” James grinned at his friend, stunning another death eater.

“Found your girlfriend in the alley. Thought I’d check on her.” Moony rolled his eyes firing a stunning jinx out. 

Lily took a deep breath before moving out further so she could start firing spells. 

“That’s fiancée, thank you very much.” James grinned at Remus, sending petrificus totalus towards a death eater. He turned on the spot to see Lily poking her head around the corner. “She needs to get out of here…” He sighed.

“Watch yourself, James.” Lily called out shooting a stunner at the person who shot towards James. “Don’t worry about me.” She shouted out, throwing another spell. 

“You keep safe!” James shouted back, ducking as a spell soared where his head would be, firing a stinging hex back. Remus was chuckling beside James, casting a strong protection charm around them.

“I am safe.” She said, crouching down to take some pressure off her shoulder. She took a deep breath before standing up and moving over to them, her arm against her chest. She shot a spell towards the death eaters over James. “How many more can they have?”

James carefully placed himself in front of Lily, standing in the path of spells that would be directed towards her. “I’m hoping this is it.” There were only three death eaters left, and they seemed panicked. 

“Good.” She said and shot multiple spells into the smoke, holding James with her body resting against him. “Hopefully…” She said and looked to see Kingsley, Alice and Frank, Moody and Remus with them. 

With a final flourish of his wand, James took down the final death eater, quiet falling on the street. “Everyone okay?” He called out, looking around at his fellow members of the Order. 

Lily smiled seeing James checking on everyone. She finally put away her wand and rested her hand on his shoulder. She looked and saw the rest of the group was okay, just her. “Are you okay?” She asked softly, checking him over. 

“I’m fine.” He smiled back at her, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll help you with that. Do you have stuff here to make it better, or do we need to go home?”

“I’ve got stuff at home.” She said softly, “But I’ll be fine, no rush.” She said looking around and checking the others. 

Almost everyone seemed fine, only a few bumps and bruises. James spoke to Kingsley, who said that those who were Aurors would take the death eaters back to the ministry. He made his way back to Lily. “They’ve got things covered here, should we head home so I can fix you up?”

“Sure.” She said, taking a deep breath. “Can I side-along before I mess something else up?” She said and took James’ arm, holding him tightly. 

“Of course.” James grinned at her before turning on the spot, apparating into their living room and scaring the hell out of the cat. James immediately directed her to sit in an armchair. “Right, what do you need me to do?”

“There’s a potion in the pocket of my handbag, there should be a pain potion. There is also a salve that can go on my arm.” She indicated to her handbag that was on the table in the living room. 

“On it.” James pressed a kiss to her forehead, before rushing to the bag. He pulled the potion and salve out of the bag, passing them over to her. “You were so lucky.” He said, crouching down next to her, his hand on her knee.

Lily took the potion with her good hand and drank it before taking the vial and rubbed some of the liquid onto her arm. “I just got hit by a spell, just like normal. It’s fine.” She said and forced a smile at him. “You’ve been worse.”

“I know.” James smiled, stroking her knee with his thumb. “I’m just glad it wasn’t worse.” He got to his feet, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll go and make you a hot chocolate, that always helps.”

“That does always help.” She said as she finished rubbing the liquid on her arm. “We should probably get a message to Dumbledore, so he knows what happened.” She said, standing up and following him to the kitchen. She grabbed a piece of parchment, sat at the table and began writing. 

James smiled at Lily over his shoulder when she started writing the letter. He was already at the oven, making hot chocolate the muggle way on the hob. Soon enough, he had two steaming mugs of the drink, and brought one over to Lily, kissing her cheek as he set it down next to her.

“Thanks, honey.” She said softly and took a sip of the drink, smiling. “I think I found the reason we don’t get paired up…” She said with a small smile as she continued writing. 

“We did great until all the other bastards turned up!” James laughed, taking a seat next to her. “I said it before, we do make quite the team, my love.”

“Yeah, but Mr I-should-stay-with-my-Fiancé is not exactly what they need in the Order.” She said with a scowl. She finished the letter off. “Not that I’m grateful, but you know what I mean.”

His smile dropped at her words, shock slipping onto his face. He hadn't expected her to say that, so he hid his face behind his mug.

“You were thinking about it. Not that I want you to jump right into battle. But... I get why they don’t.” She rolled up the paper and went to the window, calling James’ owl. She attached it to the bird's leg and she flew off to Dumbledore. “What are you thinking right now?”

"I'm thinking that I hate it, but you’re right.” James sighed, running his hand through his hair. His glasses had started slipping down his nose, so he pushed them back up. “But you know what I’m like. Without you, I’m reckless. With you, I won’t run into dangerous situations and possibly get killed. It’s like being between a rock and a hard place, no middle ground…”

“True.” Lily leant against the kitchen counter and looked over at him. “Remus said you’ve been better recently, less running into perilous danger.” She said and walked over and wrapped her good arm over his shoulders. 

James turned his head, pressing a kiss to her hand. “I mean, you need to have a groom on your wedding day, can’t be jumping into certain death if I want you to have the perfect wedding in a few months.” He grinned, tilting his head back to look at her.

“Well, I can always ask Remus. He’s much more attractive.” Lily grinned and kissed James softly. “Or Sirius at a push, but I’d probably kill him before the wedding even happened.”

“You wouldn’t dare marry Sirius.” James grinned up at her, interlocking his fingers with hers. “Or Remus for that fact… If I died, would you not grieve for the rest of your life, never recovering? Because I know that’s what I would be like.” 

“Nah, I’d probably get myself a toyboy right?” Lily said with a grin. She took his hand and pulled him close. “Being protective are we?” 

“Always.” James smirked, kissing the back of her hand softly. “Sometimes I still don’t believe this is real.”

“Maybe it’s not real, Jamie. Maybe it’s all in your head.” She giggled and left the room.


	18. Chapter 18

Lily stood looking in the mirror, the white dress cascaded down her figure. It was intertwined with lace and she smiled at seeing her mother's handy work. “It's a beautiful dress, Mum.” She said, turning slightly in the dress so she could see the way it moved. Her mother didn’t say anything, she just watched her daughter stand there. Lily moved her hand to her hair, tucking in a loose strand to the beautiful updo Marlene had done for her. 

She moved her hand to the locket around her neck and smiled, it contained a picture of her dad. A knock on the door sounded and Lily turned around to see Remus standing in the doorway. “We’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.” He said with a wide grin, looking at Lily. “You look beautiful.” He gave her a wink before stepping back outside.

Remus made his way through the garden, down towards the big white marquee. He grinned as he stepped towards his two friends, seeing Sirius giving James a pep talk. The latter looked rather green. James glanced over to see Remus walking towards him, and he immediately felt even more sick.

“Moony... Is she okay? She hasn’t run away has she? What if we’re too young..?” James blabbered, the tie around his neck feeling far too tight. Sirius laughed at his friend, shaking his head. There was a click of a camera and James grimaced. Great. Photographic evidence of his freak out. 

“She’s fine, Prongs. And you aren’t prepared to see her.” Remus grinned, winking at Sirius. James sighed deeply, finally calming down a bit. That was all he had needed to hear. If Lily was still prepared to walk down that aisle and marry him, everything would be fine. Happiness then started to settle in, pure joy spreading throughout his veins. A grin settled on his lips, he couldn’t help but bite his lip in excitement.

“She looks like an angel, doesn’t she?” He asked Remus, his heart swelling out of love for Lily Evans, soon to be Lily Potter.

Lily walked with her mum to the edge of the marquee, so James just couldn't see her. Marlene stood next to her in the bridesmaids dress she had chosen for herself and Dorcas stood at her other side, matching. “Ready for this?” Marlene asked with a bright smile. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Lily said, blushing. She took her mother's hand and held it tightly. The music started to play and Marlene and Dorcas began to walk down the aisle. 

“Are you okay?” Her mum asked softly and squeezed her hand. 

“I wish Dad was here and James’ parents.” Lily replied with a sad smile. 

“They are here.” Rose said. “They are always here.” She started to lead her daughter to the bottom of the aisle. “They’re in your smile and his eyes.” She said, looking over at James. Lily smiled seeing James at the end of the aisle. She lifted her hand and gave a small wave towards him. 

James felt his stomach drop when the music started. He even felt Sirius stiffen beside him. He turned, looking down the aisle. He smiled at the sight of Marlene and Dorcas walking down it, looking very pretty in their dresses. But then he spotted a flash of red hair at the very end, and his heart soared.

Lily looked heavenly, clad in angelic white. His jaw dropped slightly, his lips spreading wide into a grin. He probably looked ridiculous, smiling like that, but he didn’t care. This was really happening, they were really getting married. All of his boyish dreams throughout their time at Hogwarts together were coming true. 

He couldn’t tear his eyes off her as she walked down the aisle towards him, his heart swelling impossibly larger with love and pride. A tear slipped down his cheek and he felt Sirius pat his shoulder gently. He waved back at her, feeling like a puddle of goo on the floor.

Lily walked slowly with her mother, still holding her hand tightly. She didn’t wear a veil but had a few white flowers in her hair. She held her bouquet in her hands, red roses and sunflowers. 

She kept her eyes on James as she walked along, a smile never leaving her face. Once she reached him, her mum passed her hand to his and took the flowers from her. “I love you.” Rose said to her daughter. 

“I love you too.” She replied. Lily then looked to James and the ceremony began. 

James couldn’t stop grinning when Lily reached him at the top of the aisle, taking her hands in his when she passed over the flowers. “Hi…” He whispered to her, another tear slipping down his cheek. “You look beautiful.”

“Hey.” Lily said softly and raised one of her hands to wipe the tear off his face. “You look pretty good yourself, Potter.” She beamed at him and moved her hand back to his. 

James pressed their foreheads together briefly before turning to look at the wizard who was conducting the ceremony. His hands held Lily’s tightly, his smile never wavering.

“Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of two faithful souls…” The wizard began, his voice magically magnified so that all of those who were watching could hear. 

James didn’t stop looking into Lily’s eyes as the wizard spoke, barely listening to him until the time came for the vows.

“Miss Evans, ladies first.” The wizard bowed slightly, signalling for Lily to begin reciting her vows.

Lily raised her eyebrow at James. “So I know whatever I say, I will be bested by his majesty over here, so I thought I’d keep it light. I never imagined eight, nearly nine years ago, that I would be in any way shape or form associated with James Potter. As most people here know, I had this guy pestering me for years to go on a date with him, so I was very much not going to marry him.” She winked at him. “But of course, I had to be worn down eventually.” She smiled at James. 

“You are a wonderful, sweet and caring man. You are my prince charming and my knight in shining armor. I will love you till the end of time, and even then probably a little bit more after that. I promise to always be there for you. I promise to keep you boys in line.” She looked over at Remus, Sirius and Peter with a smirk. “I promise to love you, Jamie.” She grinned at him. 

James' smile seemed to grow even wider as Lily spoke, as she poured her heart out through words. Then it was his turn, he took a deep breath and began to vow his love to her.

“Evans… I knew from the moment we met on the train on our first day to Hogwarts that you were a spitfire, a personality that would either compliment or rival my own. I was irritating, arrogant and a right nuisance. You said it yourself, I pestered you for years. But it wasn’t out of malice or malevolence. It was because I well and truly wanted to date you, fall in love with you, and someday, hopefully, marry you.” He chuckled a little, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb as he spoke.

“But throughout those years of asking, I watched you evolve, change into an amazing woman, with a huge heart and such passion. You’re unbelievably talented, kind and the best person I know. Sorry, Padfoot.” James turned to Sirius, who merely shrugged in response. “And one day the best thing happened, you let me in. Well, you  _ pushed  _ me into a broom cupboard, but that’s our little secret.” He winked at her. “I vow, Lily Evans, to never stop telling you I love you, to fight for you. To grow old with you. You made me the man I am today, and for that I can never repay you. Thank you, my Lily. And I will love you forever and always.”

Lily scowled at him when he mentioned the broom cupboard, but it quickly became a smile again. The wizard smiled at the couple, “Do you Lily Evans take James Fleamont Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?” He asked and Lily grinned. 

“I do.” She said softly looking at James.

James beamed back at her when she said those two words, almost like he hadn’t believed she actually would. “And do you, James Fleamont Potter, take Lily Evans to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The wizard then asked James. 

James, being the bastard he was, pretended to ponder over it for a moment before chuckling. “I do.” He replied. Soon enough, Sirius and Marlene were passing over their rings, more vows were spoken and James had a golden band on his finger.

Lily grinned at him as they exchanged rings. “...Then I declare you bonded for life.” The wizard said. “You may kiss your bride.” He said to James and Lily moved forward to kiss her husband. As she did, golden fireworks exploded above them leaving sparkles in the air. 

James' hand immediately cupped Lily’s cheek as they kissed, his smile still wide as their lips pressed together.  _ She was his wife… _ His other hand went to her waist, tugging her close. Then suddenly, he dipped her, grinning against her lips as he did so.

Lily gasped as he dipped her and she smirked, kissing him back. “Do you finally believe I’m not running away?” She said, still in the dip with a grin. She kissed him once more and stood up. She turned to look at her family and friends and smiled again. 

“Mr and Mrs Potter!” Sirius called out and everyone started clapping. Remus let out a wolf-whistle with a smirk and Peter was grinning. 

James took her hand tightly in his, grinning when he saw the glint of her new ring settled against his mother’s one. Together, they made their way back down the aisle. Once everyone had gotten to their feet, the chairs all moved to the side, creating the dance floor. Waiters began walking around with trays, and James snagged two glasses of champagne for himself and Lily. “Mrs Potter.” He grinned at his wife, offering the glass to her.

“Mr Potter.” She said with a grin and took the glass taking a sip. As she did, Sirius showed up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“So now you're married, that makes you my sister-in-law… Right?” He said with a grin and kissed her cheek before jumping onto his brother.

James grinned, hugging Sirius back tightly as he let out a joyous shout of laughter. He definitely dropped the glass of champagne he had been holding, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He didn’t let go of Lily’s hand for a second though.

Remus made his way over, snickering at his two best friends. “Congratulations, Lily.” He said to her warmly, his eyes bright with happiness for his friends. 

“Yeah!” Piped up Peter, who had been trailing behind Remus. “Congrats!”

“Thank you boys.” She said with a grin and nodded at both of them, unable to move far with James keeping hold. Her mother came over as well and pulled Lily into a hug. 

“Your father would be so proud. I’m so proud.” Rose said, tears in her eyes. 

“Thanks, Mum.” She said with a sad smile, then moved back and looked at James.

Sirius had finally released James, who had staggered away then turned to see Lily’s mother. With a huge grin, he swept his new mother-in-law into a hug, kissing her cheek. “Hello, Mum.” He smiled, beaming down at Rose. 

Lily slipped her hand out of James’ as he hugged her mother. She put a hand to her mouth as he called her mum and wiped at a tear in the corner of her eye. 

“Congratulations!” A voice sounded behind them and Albus Dumbledore, Minerva Mcgonagall and Rubeus Hagrid walked over. Lily smiled and hugged them all. 

“I’m so glad you could all come.” She said softly before introducing them to her mother.

James shook all of their hands, beaming particularly brightly at McGonagall who looked like she might have been crying. Hagrid definitely had, he was still dabbing at his eyes with a tablecloth-sized handkerchief. 

“Bet you never thought you would see the day, Professor.” James grinned at McGonagall, winking at her too. “James Potter, being made an honest man by Lily Evans.”

“Now that, Mr Potter, is a very true fact.” She smiled and passed him a wrapped present from inside her robes. “For you both.” She turned to Albus. “Now I believe we are in need of a drink before the dancing begins. I’ll find you later, Mr Black.” She winked at Sirius then walked off. 

Lily stood with her mouth slightly open and looked back at the boys. “What did you do?” She asked Sirius with a grin. 

“Well well well,” Sirius himself looked a little shocked, but he quickly regained his posture, smoothing his hair back. “It seems Minnie has finally given in to my advances. See, Prongs. You’re not the only one who can do it. I expect tears at our wedding.”

James snorted loudly, unable to contain himself. “B-Bloody hell, Padfoot…”

“I need more booze.” Lily smirked and downed the rest of her glass. As if summoned, Marlene and Dorcas showed up, taking each of Lily’s arms.

“We’re stealing your wife.” Dorcas said with a smile. 

“We’ll bring her back.” Marlene grinned and dragged Lily over to the bar. As they walked, Lily spotted Andromeda and Ted sitting with their daughter. They were talking to Molly and Arthur who were sitting with their five children all of whom were playing with things. Lily waved at them, which they all returned, smiling as they let Lily be dragged away by her two friends. 

Marlene ordered drinks for them all before pulling a flask out of her bra and poured it into all of the glasses. “You’ll thank me later.” She said with a grin and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Just don’t get her too drunk!” Dorcas laughed, sipping on her own drink happily. “Or she won’t be able to perform well on her wedding night! James would be rather  _ let down  _ don’t you think?” She let out a huge giggle, clapping her hands together in pride of her own joke.

“I hate you both.” Lily groaned and sipped the drink. She looked over to see James talking to more of the guests. She smiled softly to herself, “I think I bagged myself a good one.”

“Hell yeah, you did.” Marlene grinned. “Who would’ve thought that specky scrawny git we met that first year would become so hot?” She quirked an eyebrow at Lily. “But you always thought he was fit, didn’t you, Lil?” She winked.

“I’m not going to answer that.” She blushed and sipped her drink again. Music started playing and Lily looked over. 

“Now the happy couple will have their first dance.” Fabian Prewett said from behind a tacky muggle DJ booth, something Lily had insisted on having for their wedding. Lily got to her feet, handing Marlene her drink before walking towards James.

James sunk into a bow, holding his hand out to Lily, reminiscent of the last time they danced at a wedding. “My lady, will you honour me with this dance?”

“Why certainly, my lord.” She said and took his hand, moving them into position as he swayed in the middle of the room. “Are you happy?” She asked softly, holding him close.

“Incandescently.” He whispered in response, pressing his forehead against hers. One hand was pressed against her lower back, the other interlocked with one of her hands. It wasn’t the most complex of dances, really just swaying and spinning slowly, but it felt like they were dancing on clouds. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too, James.” She smiled and kissed him, letting it linger for a moment. As she broke away, she looked to her right to see Sirius pulling Minerva onto the dance floor. 

“Let’s get this party started!” Sirius called out and Fabian changed the song. 

James grinned as the music became slightly more upbeat, a laugh escaping him when he saw Sirius twirling McGonagall around. “Oh Merlin, how did he manage that?” He asked softly in Lily’s ear, still holding her closely as they shifted their way of dancing to fit the song.

“I may have spoken to her about it last week…” Lily said with a bright smile. “You know, thought I’d get the best man a treat.” She laughed. 

“As long as it doesn’t go any further than a dance.” James shivered, pretending to gag at the thought. He stepped a little away from Lily, holding his arm up so that she could spin underneath it.

“That would be the day…” She laughed. “Nah, but I’m sure Sirius will go home with someone.” She said, moving her hand to cup his cheek. 

“Oh, I bet he will. I’d be surprised if he didn’t.” James grinned, leaning his cheek into her touch. “Have I told you how beautiful you look?”

“Maybe once or twice, but I can hear it again.” She replied, stroking her thumb across his cheek. 

“I promise I’ll tell you everyday for the rest of our lives.” He said softly before turning his head to press a kiss to the centre of her palm. 

“Even when I look like shit? Because I can look really bad some mornings…” She beamed up at him, her hand brushed back into his hair before resting on his shoulder.

“You’re always beautiful, Evans.” He said sincerely, not even realising that he had called her by her old last name, so used to the habit. “Every minute, of every day.”

“The name is Potter now, Lily Potter.” She laughed, resting her head against his chest. “Now we can live happily ever after.” She said softly.

“Sounds like heaven.” James smiled, holding her closely for a few moments before spinning her again, the music once again changing. It was far more upbeat now, a few wizarding songs filling the space as people crowded onto the dance floor. James spotted Remus and Sirius dancing together quite enthusiastically, huge grins on their faces. 

Lily giggled as they danced, she looked around at their friends and laughed a little harder. “Dancing my feet off?” She asked, out of breath. “I may need to sit down for a little bit.” She said, squeezing James’ hand. 

“Oh, yes. Of course.” James smiled, leading her off of the dancefloor to where there were a few tables and chairs set up. “You have a sit down, I’ll grab a drink. What’s your poison, love?”

“Oh, it’s my wedding day, Champagne obviously.” Lily laughed, kissing him on the cheek before taking a seat and sorting out her dress.

“On it.” He grinned back at her before slipping away to source her a glass of champagne. It took longer than he had expected, since family members and friends seemed set on stopping him and congratulating him. 

Lily found herself surrounded with their school mates with Marlene hanging on her shoulder, slurring slightly. “I’m glad you are enjoying yourself, Marly.” Lily said softly, patting her best friend's arm. 

“Can’t believe you up and got married, Lil.” Marlene said back, a huge dopey grin on her face. “To Potter of all people. Bloody mental you are. Though he’s probably a good shag right?”

“Darling, we really aren’t talking about this, especially with all these people around…” She smirked. “So maybe we should get a glass of water, right? Maybe Sirius can take you to get some water?”

“I don’t need water, Lilypad.” Marlene slurred, using the name she used to call Lily in first year. But she definitely did need water, but drunk Marlene was far too stubborn to admit it. 

Dorcas, who was sitting on Lily’s other side, rolled her eyes. She sipped her drink, looking around at all the people who were at the wedding. “So how many of these people do you actually know, Lily?”

“I know a few, It’s not really the kind of thing to bring family members along to. My mum’s somewhere, but then it’s just friends and people…” Lily shrugged, smiling at her friends. 

“I bet your mum is having the time of her life meeting all these witches and wizards. Are you uh- Are you upset your sister didn’t show up?” Dorcas asked, watching as Marlene leapt out of her chair to literally jump on Sirius, climbing onto his back.

“A little, but I didn’t really expect her to. Too many of us weirdos around for her liking.” Lily shrugged, she was hurt about not seeing her sister, but she knew that’s the way it would be. “Please be careful you two…”

“I’ve got it!” Sirius called back, holding onto Marlene while Remus roared with laughter beside him.

“Well, you’ve got us. All of us.” Dorcas grinned, grabbing Lily’s hand. “Now where is your husband with your drink? Reckon he got accosted by relatives?”

“Something like that…” Came James’ voice from Lily’s other side, taking Marlene’s vacated seat. He held out a glass to his wife, looking slightly rumpled. “I might hit the next person who says the word ‘congratulations’ to me.”

“That’s the point of being married, Jamie.” Lily said with a bright smile. “For people to congratulate you that you finally bagged me.” She laughed.

James grinned back, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. “Very true. Feel any different now that you’re a Potter and I ‘bagged’ you?” He winked. 

“Completely different.” She laughed, taking a sip from her glass. “It’ll feel better later.” She whispered in his ear. 

“Oh, you bet it will,  _ wife. _ ” James growled back into her ear, his lips brushing over her jaw. 

“Get a room.” Remus said as he walked over, high fiving Dorcas who let out a bark of laughter. 

“Not being rude, Moony.” James said, hardly moving away from Lily. “But this is  _ our  _ wedding. I think we have every right to do whatever we wish.”

“Be nice to your friends.” Lily nudged him, and smiled at Remus. “Isn’t it cake cutting time?” She asked James and the others. 

“Cake cutting time is whenever we choose it to be.” James grinned back at her, leaning over to kiss her quickly before getting to his feet. He held out a hand to Lily. “Ready, dear?”

“Always ready.” She said, picking up her glass and taking his hand as they walked over to cut the cake. 

Sirius put his fingers into his mouth, letting out a huge whistle that echoed around the space, alerting everyone’s attention. “The lovebirds are going to cut the cake!”

James grinned, picking up the knife. He held it out to Lily, smiling as he waited for her to also take a hold of the handle.

Lily put her hand over his and then cut the cake. “I don’t know if this is a wizard tradition as well…” She said, taking part of the cake and shoving it into James’ mouth. 

It shocked James to say the least, his eyes widening as she did it. But he soon started laughing, along with everyone who was watching. He was sure that the muggle tradition was that the groom would do the same thing back, but he had icing and cream all over his face already. So he cupped Lily’s cheeks with his hands and smashed his lips against hers, smearing her face with the cake mess too.

Lily kissed him back, getting icing on her face. “I must love you, to let you ruin my makeup.” She laughed, moving back. “Cake anyone?”

“Not if it’s off James’ face, thanks!” Sirius called from slightly further away. 

“You’d love my face cake and you know it, Padfoot!” James called back at his brother before returning his gaze to Lily. 

“Right, you lot, grab cake, eat food, dance away and enjoy!” Lily said to the crowd. “Ladies, who wants to catch my bouquet?” She asked, looking at the group. “Shall I aim for Remus?” Lily asked James quietly. 

“What, you reckon Remus will be the next one to get hitched?” James laughed softly, his hand resting on her waist since he knew she would be leaving his side again in a moment. “Sure, why not. He could use a ray of hope at the moment.”

“If Sirius plays his cards right.” Lily whispered again with a bright smile, she turned around and threw it behind her and turned around to see who caught it. 

James snorted at the sight of Remus clutching the bouquet, his eyes wide at the sight of the flowers in his hand. Evidently his reflexes had taken over, and that Lily’s aim had been true. James had explained to his friends and family some of the muggle wedding traditions, so that they wouldn’t be too confused. Every single one of the Marauders had laughed at the idea of throwing a bouquet of flowers to show who will be the next to get married, but the only one who wasn’t laughing now was Remus.

Lily held James close as they both smiled over at Remus, she really enjoyed Remus being her only close friend who also had muggles in his family. “So, we are all going to Remus’ wedding, nice. Wonder who the bride will be...” She laughed as the group dispersed. 

“I bet he’ll surprise us all by having the tiniest wedding imaginable and then showing up with this young thing on his arm when we’re all older or something.” James snorted, holding her tightly back. He kissed the top of her head, grinning as he watched Dorcas trying to trick Marlene into drinking water by pretending that it was shots. 

“Right, let’s do a lap of all the guests and then Sirius said he wants to steal you for a bit.” Lily said before dragging James around the tables to thank people for coming. She let James go once Sirius showed up and sat at a table with all her old teachers. 

“Come on, mate.” Sirius said, dragging James from the venue and out and along a path. 

“This seems daunting…” James muttered, but still allowed Sirius to lead him away from the main wedding. It was quite refreshing to get away from the noise and crowd for a while, to breathe in the night air.

“Don’t worry, I’m not out to murder you.” Sirius laughed as they walked along to the lake behind the Potters’ house. Sirius was grateful for the fact they got married in the church in Godric's Hollow . “We thought it was best to have some time with the lads, it seemed right.” He said, indicating to Remus and Peter who were sat on picnic blankets, still in their suits. 

“Bloody hell…” James said in awe, walking over to join the two men, sitting down on a blanket. “You lads really came prepared. I guess this is because everything is going to change now, isn’t it?”

Sirius slumped down onto the blanket in between James and Remus. “You’re the one who got married, we’re all still young bachelors.” He laughed. 

“Speak for yourself. I’m getting married.” Remus said, holding up the bouquet. 

“Hey! I-I’m…” Peter just shrugged, clearly realising that Sirius was right. 

James snorted, letting himself relax on the blanket, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Whatever, Lily is worth it. I’m not going to ditch you lads just because I have a wife now, you do know that right? I think Lily would kill me if I even attempted it anyway.”

“Oh don’t worry, we know that. I’m pretty sure I’m going to see you even more now you’re married. I’m coming over for dinner with you and Prongsette every night.” Sirius laughed. 

“Prongsette?” James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, looking so disappointed in his friend. “Really? Out of all the nicknames you’ve given Lily over the years, Prongsette is the one you’re going with? Pathetic, mate.”

“I was going to call her Mama Prongs, but you know.. You haven’t knocked her up yet.” Sirius laughed, lying back. 

“Haven’t done what to me yet?” Lily asked, walking down the path towards them. She walked over and sat with them on the blanket. 

James chuckled, letting Lily settle between his legs, pulling her close so that her back was resting against his chest. “I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon, Pads.” He smiled at his friend before leaning forwards to kiss Lily’s cheek.

“I don’t know, the rate you two were going at it at Hogwarts…” Remus said, grinning widely.

“Maybe I should have stayed up there…” Lily said, blushing deeply. 

“We were t-talking about how everything’s going to change…” Peter said with a small smile. 

“I was attempting to reassure them that nothing is going to change, except that you are now legally a Potter.” James said to Lily, holding her close.

“And Sirius was inviting himself over for dinner with the pair of you every night.” Remus said, sipping on his bottle of butterbeer that he had brought with him from the wedding. 

“I mean he was doing that anyway…” She laughed, “You’re all always invited over, we have a spare room for a reason…” She said, looking at all of the boys.

“Don’t say that, love.” James said, but he was grinning as he spoke. “They’ll move in and we’ll never have a moment to ourselves again.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Sirius smirked, moving to lay flat on his back to look up at the stars.

“I’m good with my boys being over all the time.” Lily said, intertwining her fingers with James’. 

“I’ve started baking, I could bake some stuff and bring it over.” Peter said, copying Sirius and lying back. 

“Merlin, Pete.” James laughed, squeezing Lily’s hand. “Since when did you get so domesticated?”

“Since I moved back in with my mother full time.” Peter replied, his watery eyes fixed on the sky above. “She thinks she needs to fatten me up.”

“Merlin, maybe you can marry Remus with you being all domestic. He can’t cook for shit.” Sirius laughed, looking across at Remus. 

“Piss off.” Remus said, hitting Sirius with the flowers. 

“Oi, careful with those.” James said to Remus. “We spent money on those flowers. You better look after them or give them back.” He was smirking though, still holding Lily close to his chest.

“Do you reckon McKinnon has gotten so drunk that she’ll snog me again?” Sirius said, almost like he was thinking aloud. He was staring up at the stars again, one arm tucked beneath his head like a cushion.

“She’s staying with Dorcas tonight, so don’t get your hopes up at getting your dick wet.” Remus said, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“Yeah, Dorcas promised to get her back tonight, so no trying any funny business.” Lily warned Sirius. 

“Gross, Moony…” Peter said. His eyes were closed now, he looked peaceful for the first time in months. Despite him saying that his mum had been trying to fatten him up, he looked thinner and thinner every time James saw him now.

“Maybe Moony’s the one who’s been drinking too much.” Sirius said, a small smirk on his face.

“Maybe.” Remus replied, holding up his bottle before taking another sip. 

James let his own eyes slide closed now, his chin coming to rest on Lily’s shoulder as he just enjoyed the moment with the people he called his family. His heart ached that his parents couldn’t have been there, to see him get married to the love of his life. But at least he had the family he had chosen by his side, the four people he loved most in the world.

After a short amount of time in each other’s company, Lily sat up straight. “Right boys, we should get back and say goodbye to our guests.” She said, pushing herself up from the blanket carefully in the dress and looked down at the four of them. 

“Yeah, sure.  _ That’s  _ the reason you want to head back.” Sirius smirked, but still climbed off of the ground to get to his feet at her request. 

“Shove off, Padfoot.” James rolled his eyes, helping Lily brush a crinkle out of her dress thanks to sitting on the floor. “There is another reason you want to head back, right?” He whispered into her ear, smiling softly. 

“Obviously I want another slice of cake. What else would I want?” She smirked and rolled her eyes at James. “Come on, boys.” 

Remus stood up stumbling slightly and swigged from his bottle again. “Back we go.” He said, Peter moved and held Remus around his waist to help him back.

“Oh, Remus, mate...” James chuckled, finally realising just how pissed his friend was. “You should get a glass of water when we get back. That doesn’t look like it’s going to be fun tomorrow.”

“For once it’s not me!” Sirius said joyfully, flicking his wand to make the blankets disappear. “You got him okay, Wormtail?”

“I got him, first time I’ve ever seen Moony drunk.” Peter said with a laugh and tried to take the bottle from Remus. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown him the bouquet…” Lily said softly, but with a small smile knowing it wasn’t actually bad. 

“The way he hasn’t let go of those flowers all night tells a different story to me, Lil.” James laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist as the five of them started to make their way back towards the rest of the wedding, going a little slower than usual thanks to Remus’ stumbling. 

“I’m fine!” Remus opposed. If there was one thing to be said about drunk Remus, it was that he was incredible at sounding sober. Just not so great at walking properly. 

Lily reached out and grabbed Sirius’ arm, pulling him close. “Can you make sure he gets home safe for me?” She asked, quietly. 

“You got it.” Sirius said, his hand patting Lily’s. “You know me, not one to leave a friend stranded alone.”

“Thanks.” Lily smiled as they walked back into the venue. “One last dance?” Lily asked James softly. 

“I’d be honoured.” James smiled, leading her back onto the dance floor. Another slow song was playing, one that James knew well since it had been one of his mother’s favourites. He pulled Lily close, starting to slowly turn and sway once again.

Lily held him close. “Today’s been perfect, James.” She said, looking at only him. 

“It really has.” He replied, his thumb stroking against the soft fabric of her dress as he spun her around slowly. “I just wish Mum and Dad could have been here.”

“They are here, with us.” Lily said, his hand moving to his cheek. “They would be so proud of you, Jamie.”

“I know.” He smiled at her, letting his cheek press into her touch. “And I know that they would be here if they could. I’m just glad I got to marry you. I mean, you’re my  _ wife _ .”

“And you’re my husband.” Lily smiled as the song came to an end and some people came over to say goodbye. 

It was pretty tiresome, saying goodbye to everyone. James shook Professor Dumbledore’s hand, let himself be engulfed in a bear hug by Hagrid and was surprised when McGonagall (who was fairly rosy-cheeked by the end of the evening) pressed a kiss on his cheek as well as giving them both a hug goodbye. But finally the guests had filed down until there were only a few stragglers left. 

“Mr Potter, shall we go home?” Lily asked, turning to her now husband. 

“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Mrs Potter.” James grinned back at her, pressing his lips to her forehead. “It was a great idea to have the wedding so close to home. And also that there aren’t any muggles to see me do this.” He made sure he had a firm grip on Lily before he turned on the spot, apparating them into the hallway of their house. While she was still regaining her balance, James crouched down to slide his arm under her knees, lifting her up into his arms. With a huge grin, he carried her over the threshold of their bedroom. “That’s the tradition right?”

“Close enough.” Lily laughed, holding onto him. “So… What do we do now?” She asked, her arms still around his neck.

“Oh, I think you know the answer to that.” James smirked, still keeping her in his arms. “And it involves that lovely dress of yours being on the floor.”

“Well then, I think we can make that happen.” Lily laughed, moving her legs down to the floor before pulling him back towards the bed. “I love you, Mr Potter."

“I love you too, Mrs Potter.” James grinned, his fingers already working on undoing the laces of the corseted back of her dress. “More than anything.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, we may have forgotten to update on Wednesday (let's be real we always forget) but anyway, enjoy some tooth-rotting fluff to make up for it 
> 
> -G x

“Well this is quaint.” James said as he opened the door of the cottage. They couldn’t afford to have a long honeymoon, what with Lily’s busy work schedule and both of their loyalties with the Order, but a long weekend in Tinmouth seemed like a fine way to celebrate their marriage. The cottage was beautiful, shells adorning the walls both on the outside and the inside. They were also steps away from the beach, something Lily had insisted on. 

“It was so nice of Fabian to ask Arthur’s sister for us…” Lily said, holding a smaller bag on her shoulder. She had her sunglasses in her hair and was ready for the beach. “This is perfect.” She said, looking around the space. 

“I know it’s not some hot foreign country, but I think it suits us.” James grinned at her as he dumped the rest of their bags down by the front door, rubbing his shoulder which ached a little from how heavy they were. “I can’t believe this place is just sitting here unused, I hope Arthur’s sister finds someone to move in someday…”

“There are enough kids in that family, I’m sure someone will end up in there. How many have Molly and Arthur got now? Four, or is it five?” Lily asked, walking through the house, looking out of the windows and through the space.

“I’m losing count.” James chuckled, walking along beside her. “Let’s hope our kids inherit my hair colour rather than yours, if they end up at Hogwarts with the Weasleys they might end up getting accidentally adopted by Molly and Arthur.” As he said it, he started playing with Lily’s ponytail, wrapping it around his finger.

“ _Kids_ plural, eh?” She said and turned to look at him. “What makes you think I’m pushing multiple children out of my downstairs, Potter?” She smirked, moving her arms to snake around his waist. 

“Because we were born to have beautiful children,  _ Potter. _ ” James replied, holding her close. He loved being able to call her Potter now, taking delight in the way her eyes lit up whenever she was reminded of her new last name. “It would be a shame to waste our blessed genetics on only one child.”

“You know… If that’s the plan, maybe we should get started on that.” She said, pulling her bottom lip back with her teeth. “Bedrooms are upstairs…” She said, a bright look in her eyes. She waited a moment before running towards the stairs. “Gotta catch me first.” She called back. 

“Bloody hell…” James laughed, letting her get a head start before beginning to follow her. “You’re insatiable! Not that I’m complaining.” He caught her at the top of the stairs on the landing. He immediately lifted her up, flinging her onto his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. 

“It’s our honeymoon, isn’t that what we are meant to be doing?” Lily giggled and gasped as he picked her up. “Careful, I really don’t want to go back to work just because of you throwing me down some stairs.” Lily laughed. 

“Don’t you trust me?” James asked as he started to walk her over to one of the bedrooms upstairs, kicking open a door. Once near the bed, he practically threw her onto it, making sure that he was doing it safely. As soon as he had her out of his arms, he ripped his t-shirt and jumper off in one. “Might as well, since it’s our honeymoon.” He winked, making sure to flex as he stood over her.

Lily grabbed one of the pillows behind her and threw it at him. “Darling, you really don’t need to flex for me.” She said with a giggle, sitting up against the headboard. “But a strip tease might be nice…” She said, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I knew you would appreciate the show.” James grinned, having caught the pillow. He tossed it back at her before crawling onto the bed, his legs straddling hers. “We are unbelievable, aren’t we?” He chuckled, leaning over to kiss her softly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” She said and kissed him again, pulling him down against the bed. 

\---

Lily lay on a beach towel in the warm sun, her sunglasses on and her head resting back on another towel. “Shall we just stay here forever?”

“It would be nice to, wouldn’t it?” James replied, laying next to her with his eyes closed. He turned his head, opening his eyes so that he could look at her. “A lifetime of this view before me.” 

“The beach and sand just steps away from your door, perfect.” Lily said not realising he was looking at her. “We should go for a swim…” She said, sitting up and looking back at him. “What do you think?”

“I wasn’t talking about the beach…” James murmured, sitting up as well. “But a swim sounds good, even though my hair certainly won’t thank me for it later.” He ran a hand through his curls, but got to his feet, stretching his arms over his head. “Race you.” He said before taking off towards the ocean at a sprint.

“Arse.” Lily shouted seeing him run off and raced behind him, knowing that in no way she could catch him up. She laughed as she reached the water. “Cheating. You got a head start!” She exclaimed.

James had already dived in, and was swimming around happily amongst the gentle waves. “You snooze, you lose, darling.” He smirked, shaking his head so that water droplets sprayed everywhere.

“I’ll message Sirius and see if he’s got the divorce papers ready yet.” Lily called out, but dived into the water and swam over to him. “Your hair is wet…” She said, when close enough to him. 

“A sacrifice I had to make.” James said dramatically, letting his head fall back as he shook his hair out again. “I’ll just be very kind to it over the next few days.”

“Why don’t you treat all things in life like your hair?” She laughed as she swam around him. “You look happy.” She mused softly, floating on her back and watching him. 

“Of course I’m happy.” He smiled, kicking his feet under the water to stay afloat. “I married you.” 

“If all the other girls knew what a sop you were, you would have totally had girls falling at your feet.” She smiled floating next to him. “I never thought I’d be married by the time I was twenty…”

“I already did, love. But you were too focused on hating my guts to be jealous of all the other girls.” He grinned, enjoying the warm sun and cool water. “Honestly, it just feels right to be married now. Why bother waiting when you know it’s going to last forever?”

“I didn’t spend the whole time hating your guts. I remember when you went on a date with Grace Anders, I really didn’t like her…” She said, floating around. “I guess, I never really thought about it like that…”

James snorted at the mention of Grace Anders. She had been far too clingy. Not that any of the people that either of them had dated in the past mattered anymore. “I hope you’re not regretting marrying me, Lil.” He chuckled, fighting the temptation to splash her. “It really would be a kick in my ego to have a failed marriage one day into the honeymoon.”

“I’m thinking about it…” She said with a laugh. “I think I’m good, it’s… It’s a pretty good marriage. I get a hot and sexy husband who is great in bed, and three sons who I have to feed and keep safe. I think it works out pretty well.”

“Th-three sons?” James stammered, not understanding her for a second, feeling a mounting panic. But then he flushed bright red, realising she meant the Marauders. He took a deep breath and let his face sink under the water to hide his embarrassment.

Lily laughed, “No, James, I’m pregnant with triplet boys and somehow managed to hide it from you.” She laughed and when he came back up to the surface she threw water at him. “You are bloody stupid sometimes, Jamie.”

James pretended to be offended as she splashed him, but his expression quickly turned into one that was full of mischief. He used his arm to sweep a ton of water over Lily, drenching her. He laughed happily at the sight of her hair sticking to her face. “Don’t play with fire, Lily!”

“I think we’ve learnt by now it’s my speciality.” She laughed, getting a full mouthful of water. She dunked under the water before moving up and chuckled, wiping her hair out of her face. 

James caught her in his arms. It was odd, having an entire beach and ocean to themselves. But it was the perfect way to spend their honeymoon. “Well, at least I’ve got the water to put any fires you cause out.”

“We’re a match made in heaven.” Lily said with a small laugh. Her arms moved to wrap around his shoulders. 

“Better fire and water than water and oil.” James smiled before leaning in to kiss her, smiling against her lips as he did so. But then he felt something brush against his ankle and he let out the highest pitched yelp he had ever managed to achieve. “What in the bloody Merlin was that!?”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, looking around at the water underneath them. “What are you saying?”

“Something touched my leg!” James said, keeping a hold of her as he splashed away from where they had been floating. “I’m probably overreacting, sorry…” 

“It’s okay, we can swim back to shore.” She said, moving out of his arms and beginning to swim towards the sand. 

James followed her. When they were in shallow water again, he was able to look down at his foot. He blushed when he realised that he had algae wrapped around it, the cause of his panic. He attempted to rip it off, getting rid of it before Lily could see.

“You alright?” She asked, walking onto the sand and brushing her hair back off her face. 

“Yep!” He replied, probably a little too quickly. He tossed the piece of algae behind him, hearing it splash into the sea once again. “Perfectly alright.”

“Good, don’t want you to get eaten by a shark.” She laughed and walked back up the beach to wrap a towel around herself. 

James felt his face heat up again as he followed her up the beach, ignoring the irritating sand that was clinging to his legs. Luckily a simple charm would do away with it. He sat back down on one of the towels that they had spread out, grabbing another in an attempt to dry his hair.

Lily sat on the beach towel and kept another wrapped around her as she looked out to sea. “We should head inside soon, get some food.” She thought aloud, getting her wand out of her bag to dry them both off. 

“Yeah.” James grinned back at her, his stomach rumbling. “You look like you might have caught the sun a little there, darling.” He chuckled, gently stroking his finger over one of her cheeks which was a little pinker than usual. The sun had also brought out some more freckles on her skin.

“Yeah, any sun makes me burn. A fun treat of being ginger.” She laughed, standing up and putting everything away. “You’ve got red shoulders too, didn’t think we could get much of that in British summer.”

“We certainly picked the right time to go on our honeymoon.” James grinned, pulling on a t-shirt. He helped her pack everything up then flicked his wand to make the bags a little lighter for them to carry back to the cottage. “Imagine if it had rained the whole time we were here.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that had happened.” Lily said with a bright smile as they walked back to the cottage. “But we could have coped, it may have meant a bit more time in the bedroom.” She nudged him as they walked back. 

“Down, girl.” James winked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked. “You were right though, I wish we could stay here forever. Leave the war and all of our responsibilities behind us.”

“Yeah…” She said, placing her arm around his waist. “But we can’t, we have to go back and help. It’s just who we are. We didn’t even wait and think about it when Dumbledore asked, we just said yes.” 

“I know. Neither of us are that selfish.” He sighed, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “I just know that as soon as we leave this bubble, things are going to get harder and harder. And, no. That’s not a euphemism.” 

“Down, boy.” She laughed, “I know. It’s not going to be a good time…” She said and moved to open the door, getting into the house. “But it’s going to be okay.” 

“As long as we have each other, right?” He smiled, giving her a gentle squeeze with his arm. He made his way into the kitchen, dropping their beach stuff onto the table before flicking his wand to clean away all of the sand and neatly fold and stack the towels back in the cupboard that they had found them in.

“As long as we have each other.” She smiled, waving her own wand, summoning some food out of the cupboard which got to work cooking itself. 

“I’m going to go have a shower, wash this salt out of my hair.” James smiled, walking over to kiss Lily on the cheek. “Are you alright doing all of this? You can tell me to leave it for later to help out if you want.” 

“I’m all good doing this, you go and shower.” She smiled, watching him start to go. “Be all clean for me.” She winked.

“I would offer that there’s room for two!” He called, walking backwards so that he could still look at her before disappearing upstairs. “But I know you’re busy.”

“Keep it in your pants!” She called out to him after he had left her sight. She made the food up, spending long moments looking out the window out to sea. She finished their dinner and plated it up, taking it out to the front porch to wait for James. 

James showered quickly, singing to himself as he did so. He walked back downstairs, still singing under his breath. When he noticed Lily wasn’t in the kitchen he assumed she had taken the food out the front, they’d eaten out there the night before too. 

“Food’s ready.” She said with a smile and indicated to the chair next to her. She pulled her feet up on her chair and looked out across the sea, taking a piece of the food and popping it into her mouth. 

“Smells divine.” James grinned, kissing the top of her head before taking a seat next to her. “The curls are still intact.” He smirked at her as he leant over to take a sip of water. “A little bit of sea salt hasn’t destroyed them.”

“Sea salt is meant to help curls darling.” She said, not looking over at him. “You were a while, I wondered if you were diffusing your hair or something…”

“Nah, I was too busy singing in the shower.” He grinned, reaching over to nab a bit of food to chew on. “This is good! Very summery.” 

“Summer’s my speciality.” She said, putting her head on her knees as she looked out. “We should retire here…”

“Sounds like a dream.” James smiled, gazing at her as she looked towards the ocean. “When we’re old and grey, and our kids have all got kids of their own.”

“I’d like that. We can be the cool grandparents who live by the sea, and they can come over and spend weekends with us.” Lily said with a sad smile on her face. 

“Hey…” James said, moving his hand so that he could rest it on her shoulder, his thumb stroking a small circle against her skin. “Are you okay? You seem vexed.”

“I’m all good.” She said and shook her head, moving to eat some of the food she had made. “Just thinking about stuff…”

“Yeah…” James said, letting his hand fall from her shoulder. “But we shouldn’t dwell on the future. We need to remember to live in the present, enjoy the precious moments while we have them.”

“I know, sorry. Being stupid.” She said and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Too many people we know from school have turned up dead recently. It just makes me worry that it will be us…” 

“I know, me too… But we’re smart, and we’re careful.” James smiled at her softly, taking another bite of his food. “We can always back out of the Order, if that’s what you wanted…”

“No, people are dying whether they are fighting or not.” She said and sipped her drink. “I still want to fight, I want to fight to save everyone's future… I just, I don’t want to die.”

“I don’t think anyone wants to die, Lil.” James sighed, feeling the weight of the war. “I certainly don’t either. But Dumbledore trusts us, scouted us out specifically to help.” He sighed again, running a hand through his still damp hair. “We just have to look out for each other. You know I would step in front of a curse for you right? You’re not going to die on my watch.”

“That… Jamie, please don’t say that. Life without you would be unbearable.” She sighed, putting down her fork. “I can’t think about you doing that for me, I can’t think about living in a world where you’re gone…” She shivered, although it was still warm. 

James reached for her hand then, holding it between both of his. “We shouldn’t think like this… We need to believe that it’s all going to be fine, and that we will win this fight. We’ve got to have faith.”

“I know. I know.” She said and smiled back at him. “I’m being silly.” She brushed her hair off her shoulder. “We should enjoy the evening, we can watch the sun set.”

“You’re not being silly. You’re being a realist.” He smiled at her warmly, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. “But I would love it if we could enjoy the rest of our honeymoon, not spend our days fretting about the future.”

“Sounds like a fantastic idea.” She said with a bright smile. “Also now you are all clean, I have a great opportunity to make you sweat a bit.” She winked at him and continued to eat her food.

“Well, I guess we had better eat quickly then.” James said, his voice low as he winked back at her. 


	20. Chapter 20

Lily sighed, apparating into the usual meeting spot. She had just finished a full shift at work and had pulled a few late nights over the rest of the week. Working for the Order was getting harder by the day, but she knew she had to commit to it. 

James was already there, standing with Sirius and Peter, his hands twisting nervously in front of him. His eyes lit up when he spotted Lily, his body language changing instantly. Everyone was exhausted, overworked and scared. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She said, walking over with a small smile. “Work got a bit hectic.” She stifled a yawn. 

James simply leaned over to kiss her cheek, trying not to feel awful at how exhausted she seemed. “It’s alright. We’re still waiting on Vance and Moody to show up anyway.”

“Good, good. As long as I beat the Aurors here.” She smiled, then hugged Peter and Sirius. They’d all been so busy after the wedding that they hadn’t been able to catch up as much as she would have liked. 

James looked down at his feet, feeling a little embarrassed that he hadn’t succeeded in joining Moody and Emmeline Vance in being an Auror. But it wasn’t important, he needed to sweep any feelings like that under the carpet and focus on the task at hand.

Sirius smiled, patting his brother on the back. “It’s all good, James, who’d want to work with Moody anyway? He creeps me o-”

“Mr Black, I see you are ready for a fight today.” Moody said from behind Sirius, who winced and turned around to look at the older man.

“Ahh, Moody. Pleasure as always.” He said with a small smirk as he fell into place between Lily and James. 

“I apologise on the behalf of my brother, Alastor.” James said, rolling his eyes at Sirius, though he couldn’t help the small smile that had forced its way onto his face. “He doesn’t know when to hold his tongue.”

“He doesn’t know when to do a lot of things.” Lily quipped, resting her head on Sirius’ shoulder. “What’s the plan today, Alastor?” She asked. 

“Keep quiet, keep to the shadows.” Said Moody, his dark eyes fixed upon Lily. He started slowly walking up and down the line of Order members no matter how short it was, his wooden leg clunking against the pavement. “We don’t want to be seen or heard, we are here to watch, to listen. Hopefully overhear any plotting. Do not engage in combat, shoot red sparks if you are spotted.”

“If we are spotted and attacked, we attack back?” Sirius asked, folding his arms over his leather jacket.

“Naturally.” Emmeline said, nodding at Sirius. “We’re all going to pair up. The Potters as one, Pettigrew with me, and Black with Moody. We realise that it would be difficult to separate a married couple.” She added in a more casual tone to Lily and James.

“We don’t mind being split up.” Lily said, but lifted her head off of Sirius’ shoulder and moved to stand with James. “But yeah… Less conspicuous.” She shrugged and took James’ hand. “Back here by midnight?” Lily asked Emmeline. 

Emmeline nodded, moving to stand with her partner for the mission. Peter looked slightly relieved that he was with Emmeline, he had always been pretty scared of Moody. Sirius however appeared to be a bit put out, but would deal with being paired with the gruff Auror.

“Right. Potters, you go right. Vance and Pettigrew, straight ahead. Black, we’re taking the left.” Moody said roughly, jutting his finger at each part of the junction that they would be respectively heading down. 

“See you later.” Lily said with a small smile at them all before heading the way they were told. She held James’ hand, keeping her wand tucked away in her pocket. “So, how was your day?”

“Long…” James said, his eyes weary. “I handed in my resignation at the academy. It was- It was difficult to do.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before replacing his grip on his wand, making sure to keep his voice quiet. “You seem shattered, was work busy?”

“I’m sorry, my love.” She said, squeezing his hand. “But it’s okay. We’re moving forward. It’s all going to be fine.” She said, moving them down a dark alleyway. “Work was… Just a lot today. I can’t wait for the weekend, no Order stuff, no work, just bed.”

“Wait-” James whispered, stopping dead in his tracks. He could hear voices coming from a little further down the alleyway, low mutters sounding from just a few feet away. James drew his wand out of his pocket, pressing a finger to his lips as he glanced at Lily. Death eaters.

In one swift move, Lily pulled out her wand, stepping back so she was pressed against the wall. She looked at James with open and awake eyes, waiting for his guidance on how they should proceed with the situation. 

James carefully started edging closer, wanting to be able to hear what they were saying in order to have something to report back. How he wished Dumbledore didn’t still have his invisibility cloak.

Lily followed him carefully, making sure to watch where she placed her feet. The voices became clearer. “My Lord, we have done everything we can tonight.” A sharp voice said, it made Lily’s blood run cold. 

“Enough, Bellatrix, it is not enough until we have taken control.” The smooth voice responded. 

Shit. James hadn’t expected bloody Voldemort to be there… His hand tightened around his wand, unsure of what to do. They couldn’t signal the other Order members, or Voldemort and his lackeys would see them instantly. His heart raced as he flattened himself against the bricks, his ears straining in hope that he might overhear more of their plans.

Lily took a few careful steps backwards, keeping as silent as she could. She didn’t want to make them aware of James, but she managed to get to the corner and sent a patronus to Sirius, telling him where they were. 

James attempted to edge closer, but his foot hit a stone. He cringed as the small rock made enough of a noise in the quiet alleyway to cease the conversation that was occurring further along. He felt his skin crawl as his eyes met those of Lord Voldemort’s, the scarlet burning through his retinas. He heard a bone-chilling laugh. 

Lily turned back to where James was and saw Voldemort looking right at him. “Bombarda!” Lily shouted at the bins that were next to them. “James. Run!” She shouted to her husband. 

“Protego!” James shouted, casting a surprisingly strong shield charm. He raced back down the alleyway, towards Lily. He heard the death eaters attempting to break his shield, dodging a blast of green light as it soared past him. He grabbed Lily’s wrist when he reached her, tugging her around the corner. 

Lily felt herself being pulled away by James, but as she turned the corner she felt a spell hit her back. She stumbled forward, shouting out in pain but continued to run with James.

James heard Lily cry out, his arm immediately moving around her waist to steady her, but he didn’t stop running. There were a couple of popping noises, the rest of the group had arrived to help. “It’s him!” James shouted at Moody, still holding up Lily. 

“Go.” Moody replied, his eyes fixed on James’ struggling wife. “Get her healed and get her safe. You’re no use here injured.” As he spoke, a spell hit him directly in the face, sparks flashing over his right eye. It didn’t seem to bother him much though, as he leapt straight back into battle.

James turned back to Lily, cringing at the pain on her face. “Hold onto me, I’m going to get us home, okay?”

“You should stay and fight.” She said, but felt her knees buckling. “I’ve got you.” She said, holding him as tight as she could.

“No.” James insisted, keeping her supported while still firing spells back at the death eaters. His eyes locked with Voldemort’s once more, he watched as the Dark wizard raised his wand. But he didn’t allow him the chance. He gripped Lily tightly as he spun on the spot, apparating them into their kitchen. 

Lily felt the familiar tug, but as soon as her feet hit the ground she stumbled forward, the pain in her back increasing. “Fuck.” She muttered, gasping for air. 

James helped her over to the table, letting her lean against it. He bit back a gasp when he looked at her back, her shirt was drenched in blood. “Shit…” As carefully as he could, he peeled her shirt away from her skin, wincing when he saw a gash like one left by a whip streaking up her spine. “I… Tell me what to do. Tell me how to heal you.” His hand shook as he lifted his wand.

“Right… Yeah…” She muttered through gritted teeth. “Dittany would be better than spells. My medibag is on the sofa. You want a vial with blue liquid.” She groaned. “Red top.”

“Right.” He said, taking a step back. “It’s going to be okay.” He rushed into the living room, his hands shaking as he rifled through her bag, but he couldn’t seem to find the potion. He let out a shout of frustration and snatched his wand up from where he had dropped it on the sofa. “Accio blue vial!” Three different vials soared out of the bag. He caught them all and shoved all but one back into the bag, keeping the red-topped vial. 

“I know, James.” She said before he left, her head resting on her arms on the table now. She was breathing deeply, each moment making her back bleed more. “When you’ve got it, small droplets over the wound.” She called to him as loudly as she could, her nails digging into the palms of her hands. 

“I’ve got it!” James called out as he came skidding back into the kitchen, the potion clutched in his grip. He tried to stop his shaking hands as he unscrewed the top, using the built in dropper to suck up the bright blue liquid. “Relax, I’ve got you.” He murmured to Lily, before carefully dripping the potion over the huge gash in her back.

“I trust you.” She said, but as soon as the potion landed on her back she screamed. “Keep going.” She called out, trying to brace herself. 

“I’m sorry…” James said, his heart squeezing as she cried out in pain. He could already see the dittany working, knitting her skin back together. At her command, he kept applying the potion, letting it fall onto her skin. “I’m so sorry, darling…”

“James, I’m going to warn you. I’m very close to passing out. If I do, it’s okay. Just lift my legs up slightly.” She said, still breathing deeply. 

“I… Yes, okay.” He replied, attempting not to panic and stay calm for her. He continued his task, letting the potion heal her injury. His other hand moved to her hair, stroking it softly to try and soothe her slightly. “I’ve got this.”

“It’s good. You’re doing great.” She said, wincing as a particularly bad bit started to heal. “I’m sorry, I should have been more careful…”

“Shut up.” James said, shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him. “The cowards hit you in the back, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine.” His hand shook harder but he didn’t stop applying the potion.

“James, it really wasn’t your fault.” She pushed herself up into some kind of standing position. “I think that’s enough…” She said, wincing. “I shouldn’t have blown up the bins…”

James immediately moved his hands to her waist, trying to help her stay supported. “I shouldn’t have tried to get closer.” He sighed, his head dropping. “You could have died… Moody has probably lost an eye because of my stupidity... “

“You weren’t stupid.” Lily said, her hand moving to grab his shoulder for support. “It’s okay. Sirius will come here afterwards and tell us what happened. You know he will and they all will be fine. We were told to watch and that’s what we did.” She said, her hand squeezed his shoulder and her vision blurred a little. 

He noticed her eyes going a little glassy, so adjusted their position in order to pick her up. He carried her through to the living room, transfiguring the sofa into a bed. He set her down on top of it, careful not to touch her back. “Here, this should be more comfortable.”

“I’m okay.” She said, but groaned as she was placed on the bed. “Can you get another vial out of my bag? Clear potion, green lid.” She muttered, resting her head on her arm. 

“Of course.” James replied, leaning down to kiss the top of her head before picking up the medibag, he’d clearly knocked it off the sofa in his rush to get back to Lily before. He didn’t bother rooting around inside it this time, opting to summon the vial straight away. “Here, darling.” He said, holding it out to her. 

“Thank you.” She said, opening the stopper and downing the liquid. She sighed, feeling the potion work its magic, taking away the pain. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” She asked, looking up at him.

“I’m fine.” He said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his hands gently pushing her hair out of her face. “Just worried about you.”

“I’m okay. Don’t worry.” She said, but her body betrayed her as she gasped when moving. “I’ll be fine in the morning. The potions take a few hours to take effect.”

“Is there anything else I can do?” James said, his stomach clenching every time she showed that she was hurting. “I… I want to help.”

“James, you’ve done more than enough. You did amazing.” Lily said, placing her hand on his leg and squeezed it softly. “My Hero.”

He rested his hand on top of hers, his thumb gently stroking the back of her hand. “You should get some sleep, it would probably be better for the pain, right?”

“I want to wait and see what Sirius says when he gets back. I need to know everyone’s okay…” She said, turning her hand over to hold his. “I’ll sleep when he’s back.”

“If you’re sure…” James said quietly, lacing their fingers together. “I can always relay the message when you wake up… But it’s your choice.”

“I’ll wait. It’s my fault they were two men down.” She said, resting her head on a pillow. 

James opened his mouth to reply but he heard a knock at the door. “That must be Sirius. I’ll be right back.” He pressed a kiss to Lily’s forehead before climbing off of the bed, heading down the hallway to open the door.

Sirius had stumbled towards the doorway, a bad apparition landing. “Hey. All safe. Moody’s gone to St Mungos for a check up but everyones alive. How’s Lil?” Sirius asked, his face betraying how worried he was. 

“She’s okay. Thank Merlin she’s a healer.” James sighed, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ neck to pull him in for a hug. “She could have fucking died… You all could.”

“We’re all fine. It’s a feat. You two are the ones who defied Voldemort.” Sirius said, his arms wrapped around James. “He vanished right after you did, we just got Bellatrix and the Carrows.”

James buried his face against Sirius’ shoulder, feeling tears sting at his eyes. His hands were still covered in Lily’s blood, smearing it all over Sirius’ shirt as he clung to his brother. 

“Hey, no getting soppy.” Sirius said, rubbing James’ back. “Right. You need to go and get washed up. Go and shower and change. I’ll go talk to Lily and clean her up. Okay.” He said, pulling back to look over James' face. 

“Yeah.” James nodded, blinking back his tears. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Padfoot.” He said sincerely, letting go of Sirius’ shirt as he pulled away from the hug. 

“It’s okay.” He smiled, walking into the house and closing the door. “Go on, shower.” He said and pointed to the stairs, before looking to see Lily in the living room. 

James did as Sirius instructed, heading upstairs to wash off. Sirius meanwhile peered around the living room door. “Knock knock.” He said as he walked in, trying to hide his grimace at the sight of her blood-soaked shirt. 

“Hey you.” Lily smiled at him. “Everyone okay? Are you okay?” She asked, moving slightly but wincing when she did. 

“Everyone’s fine.” Sirius reassured her, holding a hand out to try and get her to relax. “Moody is in St Mungo’s for his eye, knowing him, he'll get some fancy new high-tech replacement of some kind. You’ve had the worst of it.” He climbed onto the bed next to her, sitting cross-legged with one hand resting on Lily’s shoulder. “You know, you should always have a bed in here, it seems way more comfortable.”

“Maybe for you boys to have a sleepover.” She said, slowly moving to lie flat on her front rather than on her side. “I wouldn’t usually ask this, but can you get rid of my shirt?” She asked with a small smirk playing on her lips. 

“Ooh, I’m sure your husband will be thrilled that you asked me that.” Sirius winked, flicking his wand to banish her shirt, the fabric disappearing. “Don’t ask me how many times I’ve done that.” He chuckled as he moved to lay on his front beside her, kicking his legs in the air like a kid. “That’s a nasty cut you’ve got there.”

“I really don’t want to know, do I?” Lily laughed, the movement causing her pain. “Yeah. It’s not great…” She said, moving her head on the pillow. “It’ll be fine by morning.” She said, looking over at Sirius. “Is James okay?”

“He seems… He blames himself, doesn’t he?” Sirius asked, his head resting on top of his arms as he looked over at her. “I told him to go and take a shower, freshen himself up. Mainly because I know that he needs a moment to himself to have a breakdown, he won’t do it in front of us.”

“As he always does and always will.” She said with a sigh. “Good idea. I told him I’d sleep once you showed up, that was more because I needed someone to keep an eye on him.” She said and put her hand on Sirius’ arm. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Sirius smiled warmly at her, moving his finger to poke her nose gently. “Do feel free to get some sleep if you need it, I can’t imagine the pain you’re in right now. I can handle James.”

“Thanks, Sirius.” She said, her eyes drooping as she lay there. “I’m fine.” She muttered before falling asleep.

Sirius had been correct. James had definitely had a breakdown in the shower, spending a few long minutes with his face pressed against the tiles trying not to scream. It took him a bit to get moving again, but he pulled on some clean clothes, staring for a while at his newly washed hands while imagining them still covered in blood, then made his way back downstairs. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Lily and Sirius laying side by side, Lily evidently asleep based on the way she was breathing. “Why is my wife shirtless in bed next to you?” He whispered to Sirius.

“Because we are having an affair.” Sirius said, with a straight face. “I’m sorry, we’ve been meaning to tell you.” He said before laughing. “It’s better for the healing I think. But she’s out of it.” He said, smiling at his brother. “You okay? It’s been a while.”

James gave Sirius a weak smile in response, moving his armchair so that it was closer to the bed. He sank into it with a groan. He’d decided to forgo wearing his glasses for a little bit, not caring to put them back on after his shower, instead hooking them on the neck of his top. He sighed deeply. “I’m fine. I think making eye contact with Voldemort while he was preparing to kill me has shaken me up just a little.”

“Fair. It would shake anyone up. But you just have to think. You survived. You are both okay. Everyone is okay.” Sirius said, sitting up straight on the makeshift bed. “I said on your wedding day, we’re going to keep each other safe. I promise that. I want you both in my life till I’m old and grey. Okay?” 

“Okay.” James nodded, smiling at his brother. “I think we might be able to manage that.” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes moving to look at the blurry outline of his sleeping wife. “Has Moody really lost an eye?”

“I don’t know. It didn’t look good.” Sirius said, climbing off the bed and moving to sit on the arm of the chair. “But he can cope. If any of us can it’s him.”

“I know.” James murmured, still watching the rise and fall of Lily’s shoulders as she slept. He felt slightly mesmerised by it, that gentle movement being a sure sign that she was alive, and healing. Already the wound on her back had scabbed over, still terrible looking, but it was definitely fixing itself over time. “I just don’t want anyone else to die.”

“We’ll work hard to make sure that doesn’t happen. You’re good.” Sirius said with a small frown. “I’m a bit worried about Wormy and Moony. Moony has been talking to Dumbledore about some separate missions and Wormy’s isolating himself more than ever staying with his mum.”

“Shit…” James sighed again, rubbing his hands over his face. “This fucking war, man. It’s tearing us all apart.”

“I won't let that happen. We will all get out of this and it’ll be fine.” Sirius smiled. “I want to get out of this and I want what you have, I want someone to wake up to every morning…” 

“You will…” James smiled up at Sirius, patting his knee gently. “Don’t forget, Lily and I are so young. We got married younger than most people would advise, it’s not a rush, Sirius. You’ll find someone. Or, maybe you’ve already found them?”

“Oh yeah, marriage. No thank you. I just want a constant in my life.” Sirius sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Maybe… Just matters- Forget it.”

“I get it.” James said, still patting Sirius’ knee. “You want a drink or anything? Something hot? Or perhaps something to take the edge off the hell that we have been through?” He smirked, thinking of the firewhiskey he had stashed away in his office.

“Whatever you are drinking, I’m in.” Sirius said standing up, indicating for James to go first and he’d follow. 

James cast a final look at Lily, deciding that she was deeply asleep and wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. He got to his feet as well, leading Sirius into the kitchen. Luckily he had lived here long enough to be able to find his way around while visually impaired. He grabbed two glasses before ducking into his study to grab the bottle of firewhiskey, holding it aloft as he reentered. “A little pick-me-up, sir?”

“Why, certainly sir.” Sirius said, holding the glasses so James could pour. “Marlene and Dorcas moved in together, they got a flat.” Sirius said, sitting on a kitchen stool.

“Woah, didn’t see that one coming.” James said sarcastically as he filled the glasses with a few inches of the amber liquid, sitting down next to Sirius on another stool. “I’m surprised it took them this long, to be honest.” He smiled and picked up his glass, holding it out to Sirius. “To surviving another day?”

“To surviving another day.” Sirius echoed and tapped his glass against James’, then took a sip. “I’m glad I'm not the only one who assumed that they were… You know.” Sirius said and took another sip. “I’m not completely sure if they are though…”

“Maybe we’ll never know.” James shrugged, also taking a sip. He shuddered as the drink warmed him, the heat of the alcohol searing his insides in the most delicious way. “I guess we just have to let their business be their business. Are you gutted you won’t get to snog Marlene anymore?”

“Maybe I can still snog her if they are just mates…” Sirius said with a shrug. “Maybe I shouldn’t snog her though… Or shag her. I mean we haven’t done that since… Technically since Hogwarts.”

“You seemed fairly friendly at the wedding.” James smirked. “But then again, Dorcas was the one to take her home that night.” He sipped his drink again, his hand propping his head up as he leant his elbow on the counter. 

“Yeah. She’s always friendly when she’s drunk…” Sirius said, rubbing his finger around the top of his glass. “I had to get Moony home anyway…”

“I’m worried about him… Whatever Dumbledore’s got him doing, or planning on doing, it can’t be good.” James groaned and used the heel of his hand to rub at his eye. 

“I know… I keep trying to talk with him about stuff, but he’s distancing himself from me… It’s killing me…” Sirius sighed, finishing off the bit of his drink. 

“I’m sorry, Sirius.” James said sincerely, moving his hand to squeeze his friend’s shoulder. “Let’s just hope that everything gets a little easier soon. Maybe we can all have normal lives again.” He drained his glass, setting it back on the counter.

“I think we need another night cap.” Sirius said with a sad smile as he grabbed the bottle, pouring them both another one. “I was thinking, do you want to talk to Moony and I’ll try and track down Peter? We can try and plan to do something, something safe obviously. Lily said about a sleepover. I know you are a married adult now and wouldn’t do such things, but it might be fun.”

“Yeah.” James replied, sipping from his refilled glass. “That sounds like a good idea actually. And again, just because we’re married doesn’t mean we don’t want to have fun.” He rolled his eyes at Sirius. “Thank you for looking after her while I was gone by the way, I know she was probably trying to stay strong in front of me.”

“I know. I’m teasing you, Prongs.” Sirius smirked, resting against the table. “She’s all good. Perks of marrying a competent Healer. She knows how to fix things. She’s fine, mate. Please don’t worry about it.” 

“I hope so.” James smiled over at Sirius as he continued to sip his whiskey, feeling the weariness in his bones. “I quit the academy today.”

“Good. It was running you down, now you can join me in being happily unemployed.” Sirius said, putting his feet up on James. 

“Oi, I’m no leg rest.” James said, but didn’t make a move to push him off. “I’m gonna try and make things easier for Lily, she’s always so tired when she gets home from training. So I’m going to be the best husband ever and spend all day cleaning for her, and cooking dinner while I’m at it.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Who would have believed it?”

“Damn, James Potter, the house husband. Your mum will be proud, you looking after your wife.” Sirius smiled, standing up off the stool. 

“Yeah, I guess she would.” James smiled, draining the rest of his glass. “You should probably go and get some rest, mate. It’s been an eventful evening.”

“I’m not tired. I can stay if you don’t want to be on your own?” Sirius asked, he finished the drink again. 

“It’s up to you, mate.” James smiled, flicking his wand to send the glasses into the sink. He would wash them up the next day. “We have the spare room, I’ll probably try and squeeze in next to Lily, in case she needs me in the night.”

“Then I’m going to go and crash in the spare room.” Sirius smiled and messed up James’ hair. “Goodnight.” He said before heading upstairs. 

“Night.” James said as Sirius left the room, getting to his feet to move into the living room. He smiled at the sight of Lily still asleep on the bed. He set his wand and glasses down on the coffee table, carefully sliding into the bed next to her.

“You okay?” Lily's quiet voice asked, her hand moving out to touch his arm. 

“Hey… I didn’t realise you were awake.” James whispered back at her, rolling over to look at her while laying on his side. 

“Just dozing in and out.” She said, squeezing his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sirius is staying in the spare room.” His eyes flicked up to the ceiling then back to Lily’s face, which he could only just make out in the darkness and through his blurry vision. “How’s your back? Has the pain medication kicked in?”

“Good. We can convince him to make those really good pancakes in the morning.” She said with a smile. “I’m fine. Drugged up and fine.” She said, moving her hand to his face and stroking his cheek with her thumb. 

“Yeah we can.” He smiled back at her, his hand moving to rest over hers on his cheek. “Good, I’m glad. You scared me for a while there, Lil. I was so worried I was going to lose you…”

“I’m not going anywhere, James.” Lily said with a small smile, her eyes still closed. “You’re stuck with me till the end.”

“Thank Merlin for that.” James whispered, turning his head so that he could kiss her palm. “Try and get some more sleep, darling. I’ll be here when you wake up, or if you need me.”

“You need sleep too.” She said, taking her hand back and tucking her arm underneath her again. “So you need to promise to sleep as well.”

“Of course.” James smiled at her, leaning over so that he could kiss her forehead gently. “Don’t be afraid to wake me up, if you’re in pain at all.”

“Don’t worry. I will.” She smiled at the kiss, before falling back to sleep.

It took James a little while longer to fall asleep, his mind still racing after everything had happened. But in the end, exhaustion won and he sunk into a deep, dreamless sleep.

\--

Lily stretched, opening her eyes. “What smells good?” She called out towards the kitchen. 

James stirred at the sound of Lily’s voice, his eyes bleary as he looked up from his pillow. 

“Pancakes!” Came Sirius’ voice from the kitchen, the sizzling of a pan also making its way to Lily and James’ ears. 

“You are an angel.” Lily said, sitting up grabbing a spare blanket and wrapped it around her chest, the scar down her back healing but there was still a purple scar down her back. 

James had put on his glasses, and had seen the scar before she had covered it up. “Well, you’re definitely healing.” He smiled at her, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he swung his legs off of the bed. 

“Yeah, I don’t feel like my back is ripping apart anymore.” She said with a smile, she moved over and kissed James. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiled happily, kissing her back softly. “Come on, let’s see the carnage that Sirius has probably left in the kitchen.” He chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear for her.

Lily nodded, grabbing her wand off the table and summoned a t-shirt to pull over herself. “Sirius, please tell me my kitchen is clean enough…”

“Everything is fine!” Sirius called through to them, eyeing up the counter which looked a little like a bomb had hit it, pancake mix and bowls dotted over the top. “I’ll clean it all.” He said while flipping a pancake. 

James took Lily’s hand as they walked through to the kitchen, snorting at the sight. “Oh mate, I do not envy you right now.”

“At least he said he’d clean it up.” Lily said, sinking into one of the chairs. “You made us all pancakes?” She asked Sirius with a bright smile. 

“I did.” Sirius beamed at her, giving them both a wink. “You two both clearly needed a small pick me up, and while the firewhiskey last night was helpful, there’s nothing like some Sirius Black pancakes to cheer you up.” He slid the last pancake onto a plate, moving to place two plates in front of Lily and James. “Bon appetit.” 

“You are a hero, Sirius.” Lily said and dug into the pancakes. “It’s amazing…”

James nodded his response, grinning at Sirius who looked proud of himself. They were delicious. After his parents had died, James had eaten many of Sirius’ pancakes. They were his brother’s go to attempt at cheering someone up, and more often than not, they worked.


	21. Chapter 21

Lily had been up all night, having spent most of it with her head against the bath and her eyes closed trying not to think about throwing up. But as always she got up and ready for work before James had even stirred. Once she arrived at her shift, she managed to forget about how ill she felt. She was working with one of the senior Healers today, who was keeping an eye on Lily. 

By the time lunch came around, Lily was pale and nauseous again. “Go home, Potter.” The nurse said, sitting opposite her while doing a crossword in the Daily Prophet. 

“I’m fine…” Lily said and sipped her drink. 

“Oh, I know you’re fine. But you’re pregnant.” The Healer said bluntly, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“I’m not sure…” Lily said and chewed her lip. 

“Go and get yourself checked first and then go home.” She said with a small smile. “I’ll cover your shift.” 

Lily found herself walking through the front door of the cottage four hours before her shift should have ended with some anti-sickness potions in her handbag. She closed the door behind her, straining her ears for a sign of her husband. “James, are you home?” She called out.

James was down at the market, buying a gift for Lily since he knew she wasn’t feeling too well. They had been married for a few months and he hated seeing her sick. So he wanted to treat her. He perused through the market stalls, listening to what the sellers were trying to tempt him with. Eventually, he settled on a brand new potions kit, which was pretty expensive and very lavish. But he wouldn’t tell Lily how much it had cost him.

Once Lily realised James wasn’t home, she made her way into the living room. She curled up on the sofa, pulling a blanket over herself and nestled into the many pillows. It wasn’t long before she had fallen asleep, her hand on her stomach. 

James walked home happily, taking in the beautiful sights that Godric’s Hollow had to offer. He was humming as he unlocked the door to their cottage, not expecting Lily to be home for a few more hours. He had really taken on the role of being the house husband since he had quit Auror Training, cooking dinner and cleaning while Lily was bringing home the metaphorical bacon. 

He walked into the living room and stopped in his tracks when he spotted Lily asleep on the sofa. _She must have been sent home from work,_ he thought. Gently, he pressed a kiss to her forehead before settling himself down in an armchair, opening the book he had been reading. He’d made it his goal to read as many of the muggle books Lily loved as possible.

After an hour or so Lily woke up with a start, her brain telling her she was late for work. She paused for a moment, letting her eyes refocus. She looked around and saw James. “Hey, you.” She said softly and ran a hand through her hair, “I must have dozed off…”

James looked up from his book when she spoke, smiling softly at her. “Morning, sunshine.” He smiled, heading over to her. He crouched down in front of the sofa, brushing his thumb against her cheek. “I assumed you had been sent home from work, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” She said softly, taking a deep breath. “Just that stomach bug kept me up all night.” She said and bit her lip. “I’m fine, I needed some sleep so they sent me home. What about you, what have you been up to?” She said softly. 

“I got you a present.” James smiled, kissing her forehead before getting to his feet again. “I’ll be right back.” He stepped into the kitchen where he had left the potions set and took it through to the living room. “Sorry it’s not wrapped. I just wanted to get you something, I know how lousy you’ve been feeling and I wanted to lift your spirits.” He sat down on the sofa, lifting her legs so that they were resting in his lap. “Here.” He passed her the bag that had her gift inside it.

“Thank you, James, you didn’t need to.” She said and rested her head against the back of the sofa, so she could look at him. “James, I was thinking about something.. About our future… What do you want in our future?” She asked softly, her eyes looking over him. 

“A family, I guess,” James smiled warmly at her, his hands moving to her foot to massage it, hoping it would help her feel better. “I’d like for us to have some kids one day. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, and I also know any kids of ours would be _incredibly_ attractive. Good genes.” He winked at her, then nodded to the bag. “Open it.”

Lily gave him a small smile and opened the bag, pulling out the potions kit and her smile widened. “I love it, thank you.” She placed it on the small table next to her. She bit her lip again and looked back at James. “Yeah… One day.” 

James looked at her, his brow furrowing. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem like there’s something you’re not telling me.” His expression softened as he gazed at her. “You know you can tell me anything, Lily.”

“It’s fine, James.” She said and sat up a bit more in her seat, moving her feet but keeping them in his lap. “When are you on duty this week?” She asked softly, her hand moving to rest on his shoulder as she stroked patterns into the fabric of his shirt. 

“Only Friday. It’s with Remus which is a blessing. I’m sick to death of being paired with old men who think they know everything there is to know about spying on death eaters.” He rolled his eyes, leaning into her touch. “Maybe we should let Dumbledore know you’re not feeling so good, perhaps he can find someone to cover your patrols until you feel better…”

“That might be a good idea. I need to update Dumbledore on some stuff at St Mungo’s anyways. I guess it can wait until the next meeting.” She said with a small smile. “I’ve not got anything till Sunday, I’m sure I can get someone to cover me by then.” She said and let her eyes close for a few moments. 

James just sat there and watched her, smiling softly. He still felt that she was leaving something out, but he wouldn’t press her. Especially when she was feeling so sick at the moment. Her mentioning their future had made him think, and his smile widened when he imagined them with kids someday. He was sure they would have a boy, Potters always had sons first. But he then imagined that they’d have a girl too, with Lily’s long red hair.

Lily suddenly felt her head spinning and she quickly jumped up, running to the kitchen and throwing up into the sink. She held her hair behind her neck and sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before moving away from the sink. She rested her hands on the counter as she steadied her breathing. 

James rushed into the kitchen, rubbing her back gently with one hand. “Oh, Lil. It’s okay.” He soothed, his voice soft and sympathetic. 

“I’m alright,” Lily said, moving to touch his arm. “I’m only pregnant, it’s nothing to worry about.” She said and took a deep breath. 

“Oh well, that’s good then.” James said, relaxing slightly. Then he realised what she had said, and he stiffened, his eyes widening in surprise. “S-Sorry- Did you just say-?”

Lily brushed her hair behind her ears and looked over at James. “Yeah… I just said I’m pregnant.” She said with a small but panicked smile on her face. 

James let out a cry of joy, wrapping her up in his arms tightly. “Pregnant! Oh, Merlin! We’re going to have a baby, you mean it?” He grinned, resting his forehead against hers.

“Not so tight, angel.” She said, putting her hands on his chest but smiling softly at him. “Yeah. I went and got checked up today. I wasn’t sure before. I didn’t want to guess until I knew…” She said with a small smile. “But we are going to have a baby.”

James had tears in his eyes as he beamed at her, pressing a kiss to her lips. But he didn’t let it linger for too long, instead he dropped to his knees, his hands moving to Lily’s still flat stomach. “Hello, little one. I’m your daddy.” And he pressed another kiss to her belly.

Lily smiled, her hand moved to his hair as he spoke to her stomach. She smiled, feeling a little awkward. But she looked down at him. “James…” She asked softly. “Is this okay?” 

“What do you mean?” He said, looking up at her, still smiling happily. “Is it okay that we’re going to be parents? Of course it is! I know we’re young still, but I know we’re ready.”

“Yeah… Yeah… Sorry.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “Just a little bit of a panic.” She said and took a deep breath again. 

James stood up again, his hands moving to her waist. “We can do this, Lil.” He smiled reassuringly. “Sure, it’s going to be a hell of an adventure with a little one running rampant around the house. But they’ll be _ours._ Our little boy or girl.” He was still smiling as he tucked her hair back behind her ear. “We’re having a baby.” He whispered again, grinning from ear to ear.

“We are. We’re having a baby.” Lily smiled resting her forehead against his with her eyes closed. “I’m going to be a mum.” She said and smiled again. “Moony and Padfoot are going to flip.” She giggled. 

“I think Wormy might have a heart attack.” James laughed softly, one of his hands moving to rest on her stomach again. “We have to wait to tell them, right? In case something goes wrong with the little one?”

“Yeah. A bit of time. I was wondering though. How about we go and see my mum, tell her? I know it’s probably too early, but I’d like to. I want to…” She looked at James slightly nervous about what he would say. 

“Of course.” James whispered, smiling at her. “I’m sure she’ll scold us both within an inch of our lives before breaking down crying.” He chuckled softly before leaning in to kiss her again. 

“I don’t know, she’s already got one grandkid nearly here. I think she’ll be okay with a second.” Lily blushed and held him close.

“Oh yes, I almost forgot Vermin had knocked your sister up. What an ugly baby that will be.” James chuckled, kissing her forehead again. “I bet they’d spoil them and overfeed them and they’ll grow to be fatter than Vermin…”

Lily swotted James’ arm. “Watch it.” She said before resting her head on his shoulder. “Can you make me some soup and can we snuggle on the sofa?” She asked lightly. 

“Anything your heart desires.” James said softly, kissing her. Reluctantly, he pulled away, moving to the oven so he could start preparing the soup. “Get comfortable, darling, rest up, okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.” She moved over and kissed his cheek. “Dad’s looking after Mum.” She said before heading to the living room. 

\---

“Have we got everything? Did you bring the present we have for her?” Lily said as they walked up the street to her mother’s house. 

“I’ve got it! Stop fretting, Lily.” James laughed, squeezing her hand. “It’s going to be fine, I promise. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah…” She said and nodded. “Yeah… Right. It’s all fine.” She said and headed past the picket fence and up to the door. She knocked, then turned back to James with an anxious smile. 

Rose opened the door and cried out in joy when she saw Lily and James standing there. She pulled them both in for a hug, before ushering them inside, fawning over them every step of the way.

“It’s good to see you too, Rose.” James chuckled, kissing his mother-in-law on the cheek as she moved them towards the kitchen, promising cups of tea and biscuits.

Lily hugged her mother tightly, hiding her face in her shoulder. She then walked into the kitchen with her. “We brought you a few things, Mum.” Lily said. She pulled out a bottle of prosecco for her mother, a tin of biscuits, some food and other things. 

“Oh how lovely!” Rose clapped her hands together as she looked at the items. “Thank you, my darlings.” She kissed both of them on the cheek before picking up the prosecco. ”How about we pop this one open for a little treat this afternoon?”

James grinned at Lily, letting her take the lead on this one.

Lily smiled and took the wrapped present off James and held it in her arms. “I… I’m sure James would love a glass… But I’m not drinking at the moment…” Lily said and chewed on her lip. She elbowed James lightly at his grin. 

“Oh really? That’s a shame.” Rose said absentmindedly, grabbing two glasses and uncorking the bottle. She was halfway through pouring the drink into one of the glasses before it hit her, her eyes widening. She set the bottle down, her jaw dropped as she looked at her daughter. “You’re not- You’re pregnant!?”

Lily let a small smile pull at her lips. “I think you should probably open this.” Lily passed her mother the wrapped parcel. 

Rose opened the wrapping with a small frown, it was an embroidered picture that said ‘ _Number One Grandma'._ Lily grinned at her mother. “Surprise…” She said softly. 

Rose burst into tears, rushing to hug her daughter. “Oh! Two grandchildren! I’m the luckiest woman in the world!” She cried out, sobbing hard. 

James chuckled and moved to go and put the kettle on, but Rose tugged him in for a hug too.

Lily hugged her mother tightly. “It’s probably too early to tell you, but I didn’t want to wait.” She said and let go of her mother so she could hug James properly. “Thought the prosecco could work for a celebration.” Lily said and moved to sit on a seat at the breakfast bar. “Thought we’d bribe you, Mum.”

When Rose let go of James, he steered her into a seat at the table before placing the glass of prosecco she had poured in front of her. He then quietly moved to the kettle, pointing his wand at it so that it was boiled instantly, and poured himself and Lily two cups of tea.

“Well,” Rose began, sipping her prosecco with a shaky hand. “I can’t deny that I’m shocked. You’re both _very_ young. But you both also grew up so fast, I know you’ll make wonderful parents. I just hope you’re safe, as well as the babe, since you told me the wizarding world is on the brink of war…”

“We’re safe, Mum.” Lily said, taking the drink from James with a smile. “Safe enough. I’m not going to do anything stupid…” She said with a soft smile. When James sat beside her, she immediately moved to rest her head against his shoulder. “I would like to say though, I really don’t appreciate the fact I’ve inherited your lovely morning sickness…”

James turned his head to press a soft kiss to Lily’s hair, blissfully happy. Rose chuckled, shaking her head at the memory of both her pregnancies. “It was explosive, I can only apologise, sweetheart.”

“I’ll take the apology.” Lily smiled and poked her tongue out at her mother. 

They continued to spend the afternoon together, Rose made dinner for them both and they sat around watching bad films and laughing and joking. Lily ended up sitting on the floor with her mother brushing through her hair as the sun started to set. “We should probably head home soon…” Lily said softly, looking over at James. 

“Oh Merlin, yeah we should.” Replied James, looking at his watch. He was sitting on the sofa, watching his wife and mother-in-law with a loving smile on his face. “I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” He mused, thinking about his patrol with Remus that was starting at five in the morning. How he was going to keep Lily’s pregnancy quiet was beyond him.

Lily stood up and pulled her mum into another hug. Rose held her daughter tightly, stroking her back before kissing her on the cheek. “Look after yourself… Both of you.” Rose said and gave James a hug as well. “I’m cooking a roast on Sunday if you both fancy it, you can bring those boys of yours too.” She started walking them both out to the door. 

“That sounds good, I’m sure Sirius and Remus would love a home cooked meal.” Lily smiled and kissed her mother goodbye. 

“Goodbye, Rose.” James hugged Rose too, holding her tightly. “See you on Sunday, look after yourself in the meantime.” He smiled at his mother-in-law.

“Oh, James.” Rose patted his cheek gently before leaning up to kiss it. “I always do. See you then, travel safe!” She pressed her hand to her chest, over her heart. She waved at them as they walked down the path, her smile never wavering.


	22. Chapter 22

Lily and James sat in their living room a couple of days after seeing Lily’s mum, Lily had started learning how to knit, planning on making some baby clothes. She sat stumbling through and groaned when she dropped yet another stitch. “Damn, I’m never going to be able to do this.” She said and looked over at James.

James was reading a letter that had just been delivered via owl. His hand was pressed to his face, his eyes wide with horror. His gaze was fixed on the parchment, his body frozen in place as he stared at the words.

“Jamie, what’s wrong? Lily said, noticing his face, she stood up and walked over to him. “Jamie, what happened?” She moved to take the letter from him. 

He kept his grip on the letter, not wanting her to read it. “Lily, I’m so sorry… Y-Your mother… She was attacked.” A tear slipped down his cheek as he looked at her, his face etched with sadness. “T-The death eaters… She’s-” He broke off, unable to say it.

Lily shook her head looking at him. “No… No, she wasn’t… No… No, she isn’t-” Lily frowned and moved back from James. She walked past him out to the front of the house and apparated to just outside her mother's house. She could already see the door was broken off its hinges. There were burn marks on the lawn. She ran towards the house, bursting through the open doorway. “Mum?” She called out. “Mum!”

As soon as she apparated, James knew where she had gone, so followed. He watched as Lily ran into the house, crying out for her mother. He knew the pain of losing a parent, of course he did. But finding out your parent was  _ murdered  _ for information about you. He couldn’t fathom it. “Lily!” He called out after her, following his wife inside the house.

“Mum!” Lily continued to shout through the house, she was moving from room to room so desperately. “Mum!” She was almost screaming now, she walked into the final room to see Kingsley Shacklebolt standing next to her mother's body, lying cold and empty on the bed. “No. No.” Lily collapsed onto her knees in seeing her. 

“Lily…” James whispered, falling to his knees next to her, holding her in his arms. He let her cry against him, rocking her slightly back and forth. He had tears streaming down his face too, but he wouldn’t let her see it. He needed to be strong for her. 

Lily cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, just sat there silently letting him hold her. She just stared forward, blank and cold. “You should take her home.” Kingsley said, he walked over to them and put a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I’ll look after your mother. I promise.” He said softly to Lily who just looked at him. 

James pressed a kiss to Lily’s hair, his eyes dry now. He nodded at Kingsley, thanking him quietly for his help. He didn’t give Lily an option. Instead he looped his arm under her legs, lifting her up. “Come on, my love. We shouldn’t be here.” He whispered to her. “Hold onto me.”

Lily slowly moved her arms around him, holding as tightly as she could muster, which wasn’t much. Other than that she wasn’t really aware of what was happening. She stared blankly off in the distance. 

“Thank you, Kingsley.” James said again before turning on the spot, apparating directly into their bedroom back home. He gently placed Lily into their bed, taking her shoes off for her before tucking her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He assumed she would want to be alone, so made to leave the room.

“Don’t go.” Her voice was quiet and she didn’t move to look at him. She kept her eyes on the wall and didn’t move. “Don’t leave.”

“Okay.” James said softly, and kicked off his shoes. In just a few strides, he was back by the bed. He climbed in next to her and moved so that his chest was against her back, his arm wrapping around her side. He held her close, his face buried in her hair. 

“Promise you won't leave.” She said quietly, she moved her hand to take his and held it tightly. It was hours before she fell asleep, thankfully a dreamless sleep. 

“Never…” He whispered against her hair. “I’m with you, until the very end.” He held her until she fell asleep, yet still didn’t move. It was still a while before he dropped off too, his hand having found its way under her shirt, to rest against her stomach.

\---

Lily woke up the next morning in James’ arms, she lay there for a few extra moments before getting up and getting dressed. She changed her clothes almost robotically, pulling on her work uniform and started applying makeup to her face. 

James stirred, groaning slightly as he woke up. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed his glasses. “Lily, no.” He said when he saw her getting ready for work. “You’re not going in today.” He climbed out of bed and took the brush out of her hand, putting it down. “You need time to grieve, there’s no way you’re going in.”

Lily shook her head and took the hair brush back from him. “I’m going into work.” She said and moved to continue to brush her hair. 

“No. You’re not.” He sighed deeply, very well aware how stubborn she was going to be. “Lily, St Mungo’s will survive without you. The Ministry will have informed them about what happened. Remember I was going to be an Auror, I know this stuff. They won’t be expecting you there, and will most likely turn you away as soon as you turn up. For your sake, and the baby’s,  _ please  _ don’t put yourself through this stress.” James urged her, pleading at this point.

“I want to be busy, James.” She said and stood up, moving to pull a set of scrubs out of the drawer. “I’m not going to overstress. I’m just going to work, I’m going to save people and help people. Isn’t that what we are doing? Isn’t that what we’ve been doing all year? Why can’t I, James?” She said and looked at him. “Why can’t I?”

“Because sometimes we have to help ourselves.” He said softly, crossing his arms. It was exhausting watching her, knowing that she was two seconds away from snapping. He knew Lily, knew her well. He could tell that a breakdown was building, and he wanted it to happen here, in private, rather than in the middle of a shift at the hospital. “You  _ are  _ helping people, Lily. By staying home, you’re helping those you would be too distracted to heal properly. You’re helping me by not leaving me to sit here alone all day worrying. You’re helping our baby by not exposing yourself to stress. Stay home. Let  _ me  _ help  _ you. _ ”

Lily ran a hand through her hair and looked away from him, scrunching up the fabric in her hands. “Stop using the baby against me.” She said, but dropped the uniform. “Just stop it. Stop it, James…” Lily’s hands were shaking and she couldn’t look at him. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need help.” 

James stepped closer to her, moving so that his hands were on her shoulders. “You know I’m right, stop denying it.” He said, his voice calm and full of empathy. “Lily, look at me.”

“I don’t want to.” She said and looked down at her feet. “I don’t want to.” She ran her hands over her face. “I just want things to be normal. I want things to be fine. I don’t want a war. I don’t want to be pregnant.” Lily slumped down onto the floor. 

“Don’t say that.” James said, his voice low now. “You don’t mean that.” He sat down on the floor with her, but he didn’t move to touch her. “Say you don’t mean that, Evans.”

Lily rested her head against her knees, her fingernails digging into her legs as she tried to grip onto some stability. “I don’t…” She whispered. “I don’t mean it.” 

James sighed deeply, his head falling into his hands. He tugged at his hair, frustrated. “Please, Lily. Stay home. Allow yourself the time to grieve.” His hand reached out to her, gently stroking her hair. “Let me look after you…”

“Fine.” She said quietly. “Fine.” Lily moved her head against his hand. “I’m sorry…” She started to cry. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t. I didn’t mean to say that. Not the baby.. I’m sorry.” She sobbed. 

“It’s okay…” James whispered, pulling her into his arms, holding her close. “Shhh, I know… It’s okay.” He kissed her head, letting her cry into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, love.”

Lily cried into his arms until the tears all dried up, lying against him on the floor of their bedroom. “The world’s gone mad…” She said softly, her hand on his chest. “We’ll have to sort out a funeral. I should tell Petunia… Does she know?” Lily shivered. “She’ll blame me… She’ll blame me again…”

“I think the Ministry sorted it. Something about those muggle Auror’s turning up to tell her. She’s still a muggle, so they’ve decided to treat it like any regular muggle death caused by wizards.” He said softly, stroking her hair as he spoke. “The less the muggles know about the war, the better.”

“She’ll know.” Lily tried to regulate her breathing again. “She’ll know it was to do with me. She’ll hate me even more.” Her hand moved to her stomach and she brushed her fingers across it. “We should eat…”

“Come on.” He said softly, getting to his feet and holding his hand out to her. “I’ll make you some breakfast. Get both of you fed.”

“I think it’s more like lunchtime now.” Lily said looking at the clock but standing up. “I’m sorry…” She said softly, keeping hold of his hand. 

“Shh.” James said, leading her downstairs. “Stop apologising, you’re allowed to be upset.” They made their way into the kitchen, and James let go of her hand to open the fridge, wincing slightly when he realised it was pretty empty. “What would you like?”

“Why don’t you invite the boys over? We can order a pizza…” She said, her arms wrapped around herself. “We can stick a video on, they can stay over.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. 

He shut the door of the fridge, turning to look at her. “Would that help? The boys being here?” He leant against the kitchen counter. “Because whatever you want, Lily. If you want them here, I’ll get them. But don’t feel like you have to.”

“I’d like to not think about it all right now. I think having them over might help. People might help.” She said and forced a smile. “I’ll order the pizza, you get the boys.” She walked into the living room getting the house phone and calling for a pizza. 

James pulled the mirror he kept in his pocket at all times out, looking into it. “Sirius.” He said softly. He felt very relieved when his friend’s face swam into view almost immediately. “Hey, Pads. Lily’s taken a hit since her mum died last night, she wants you all over here. Can you get here as soon as possible? She’s ordering pizza.”

Lily smiled when she heard the floo network start up. She looked up to see Sirius and Remus walk through the fireplace and with a crack Peter appeared beside her. “Pizza anyone?” She asked and hung up the phone. 

James shared a look with his friends, mentally telling them to act as normal as possible. Sirius bounced over to Lily and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Pizza sounds divine, Mrs Potter.” He grinned at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

Remus gave her a sympathetic smile, and Peter looked like a deer in headlights, which was James’ job. 

“It’s good to have the five of us in the same room.” Sirius said and moved so that everyone could sit down. 

“Six of us…” Lily said quietly and moved to place a film on the television. She looked away from the rest of them. 

James looked at her in shock, not expecting her to tell them so soon. He spluttered, his hands gripping the counter. 

Sirius just looked at Lily curiously. “You need to learn to count, Red. There are only five of us here.”

“Bloody hell.” Remus whispered, staring at Lily’s stomach.

“Shit.” Lily exclaimed, looking around at James. “Sorry…” She said and blushed slightly, her eyes flicking to Remus. 

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag now.” James muttered, rubbing his hands over his face, pushing under his glasses.

“What?” Sirius said, really not catching on. He looked between James and Lily with confusion. “What cat? What bag?”

Lily sat on the floor, looking at Sirius, “Padfoot…” She smiled at him. “I’m pregnant..” She said and smiled at Remus as well.

‘WHAT?” Sirius yelled, his hands flying to his hair. James chuckled while Peter shrieked in excitement. 

“Congratulations.” Remus said softly, walking over to hug Lily.

“Yeah.” Lily hugged Remus back tightly. “You alright there, Padfoot?” She asked, looking over Remus’ shoulder. 

Sirius had barrelled into James' arms, he almost knocked him over cause he was hugging him so tightly. James was laughing gleefully, patting his friend on the back. “I think he’s good.” James said to Lily, grinning.

Peter had fallen silent, looking almost sick, almost like he’d found out something terrible.  The doorbell rang and Peter stood up. “I’ll get it.” He squeaked and ran off to get the pizza. 

“What the hell is up with Wormtail, these days?” James queried, still being bear-hugged by Sirius who didn’t seem to want to let go for anything. “He’s looking more and more ill each time I see him. Has he spoken to you at all, Moony?”

“No, he’s been struggling. Spending a lot more time with him mum apparently…” Remus shrugged and Peter came back to the room with the pizza. 

The group sat and ate pizza, laughing. It succeeded in distracting Lily away from thoughts of her mum. Sirius started shouting out random names every so often for baby name ideas and Remus told him to write them all down in a book. The evening grew late and Sirius decided to make the living room into a blanket fort, by the time the sun set they all lay asleep on various pillows on the floor. Young and happy. Safe from the outside world. 

\---

“I’m pregnant, not incapable.” Lily said, rolling her eyes as they walked up to the main doors of the Order house. “I quit St Mungo’s, I’m not stopping this as well.” Lily sighed and walked into the main room where people were starting to gather. Alice smiled at Lily, she gave her a look that said ‘tell me about it’ before going back to her conversation with Moody. 

“I know, Lily.” James replied, exasperated. “I just don’t think you should be going on missions, we don't want to put the little one at risk…” He instinctively pulled out a chair for her, smiling softly at the small baby bump she had now.

“I’m not going on missions James. I’m just intel and some patrols. Alice is still working…” She said and reluctantly sat in the chair he moved out for her. 

“Anyway…” James said, sitting down beside her. “We shouldn’t talk about this here.” His arm came to rest on the back of her chair. “Dumbledore’s just showed up.” He nodded his head to the door, through which they could see Dumbledore mid-conversation with Moody.

“Sure” She said and rolled her eyes at him. She placed a hand on her stomach as she watched Dumbledore enter the room. He walked to the head of the table. 

“We should be very grateful this week for all the work each of you has done. Many disasters have been stopped, many battles have been won.” Dumbledore looked down at the table. “Voldemort is still becoming more powerful by the day and we cannot risk our numbers…” He said and looked around the room. “For the next few weeks we must lie low, see what he is doing. No patrols, no meetings, lie low until I contact you.” Dumbledore moved to the doorway. “Mr Lupin, may we have a word?” He said and walked out with Remus following him. 

James frowned, looking toward Sirius. “Why’s Moony being singled out?” He leaned back in his chair, his hand starting to play with Lily’s hair absentmindedly. “I can’t believe we’re laying low, no missions or anything…”

Lily kept her eyes on the door where Remus had gone through, she chewed on her lip. “I don’t know…” Sirius said with a frown. Lily looked over at Sirius when the door opened and Remus returned. 

“Moony, mate. What was that about?” James asked, looking concerned at the expression on Remus’s face. “You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…”

“Yeah. Fine.” Remus sat down on the other side of Lily. He stared off at the table and Lily frowned at the two other boys. 

“Where is Peter?” Lily said looking around for him. 

“I don’t think he could make it today, something about his mum.” Sirius shrugged, still looking at Remus with worry on his face. James sighed deeply, still playing with Lily’s hair.

“Yeah. I’ll go by and debrief him later.” Remus said and shook his head looking back at the others. “I’m going to go and get some fresh air.” He said and quickly left the room. There was a brief pause and Sirius stood up to follow him. Lily watched them go and sighed, she looked around the room, Fabian and Gideon were gone, Dorcas had been badly hurt in the last raid she did, so she was with Marlene right now. Kingsley was in Auror meetings, the group was lacking in people and it was starting to worry her. 

“We’re going to be okay.” James whispered, sensing her worry. He kissed her temple gently before resting his cheek on top of her head. “Good always wins. We’re gonna take Voldemort down. I know it.”

“Yeah… We will.” Lily said softly, there was suddenly a loud bang from outside, Lily jumped up and grabbed James’ arm but quickly realised it was a door. 

“You’re not my boyfriend, you can’t tell me what I can and can not do.” Came Remus’ voice raised. 

“You are not going! I’ll talk to Dumbledore myself.” Sirius shouted back. Lily looked at James, the whole room had gone silent listening to the argument. 

“What the hell else am I good for? It’s my job. I have to do this.” Remus said, they sounded slightly further away now. 

“I don’t care. It’s dangerous and stupid!” Sirius groaned. 

“No one else can do it. It’s up to me, I’m going whether you like it or not.” The door slammed again and Remus walked into the room looking flustered. Everyone suddenly started talking again and Lily looked at Remus while holding James tightly. 

James kept a tight hold of Lily, but marched over to Remus, looking almost like a concerned father. “What was that? Where are you going?” He looked stern, probably stern enough to convince anyone to tell him the truth.

Lily quickly moved after James and pulled his arm back. “James don’t.” She said and looked at Remus. He looked like he was about to cry. He took one look at them both and walked out the room.

James spotted Dumbledore in the corner, and made his way over to him, determination on his face. “Professor Dumbledore! Please, where are you sending Remus? He doesn’t seem particularly happy about it, and I have a right to know if my friend is being sent away from me.”

Lily let go of James and watched him go over to Dumbledore. “He has a mission, James. Undercover. He knows what he has to do.” Dumbledore said calmly. 

Sirius walked in from outside, his face red and his hair was in his face. Lily walked over and took his hand. “James, come on, we should go home.” She said still holding onto Sirius. 

James' fists were clenched at his sides, rage simmering through him. Why couldn’t someone just give him a straight answer? “Right.” He said bluntly, turning to Lily and Sirius. “Home. Sure.”

Lily took them all out to the front of the house before apparating back to the cottage. “I’ll make tea…” Lily said and looked at James. “Talk to him.” She mouthed. 

James nodded before dragging Sirius into the garden, pushing him into one of the chairs by the table out there. He leant against the table, his arms crossed. “Talk. What’s going on? And don’t you dare try and bullshit me, Sirius Black.”

“Like I’d bullshit you about this.” Sirius waved his wand and a firewhiskey bottle flew into his hand. “A mission only Remus Lupin could do, what do you think it is, James? They’ll send him to the werewolves, get inside info.” Sirius took a swig from the bottle and groaned. 

“Fuck.” James muttered, running his hand through his hair. “That’s the worst thing they could force him to do…” He understood now, and almost wanted to share that bottle of firewhiskey.

“Like he said. I’m not his boyfriend, I can’t tell him what to do, none of us can. I can’t imagine he’d even listen to Lily at this point. He said it was only for a few weeks, but that’s how it starts with that old man.” Sirius swigged the firewhiskey again. “Fabian and Gideon were only to bug fucking Malfoy Manor for a few weeks. Where are they now? Dead.” Sirius groaned, standing up and walking further down the garden. 

James squeezed his eyes shut, sighing deeply before he followed Sirius, sitting down next to the pond. “We can’t force him to not go. If he’s decided it, then that’s his choice. I hate the idea of it, him being there. But Remus is an adult, he’s got to make up his own mind…” James looked at Sirius. 

“Would you let Lily? Would you let her go?” Sirius said and looked at James before sitting next to him. The look he gave him told James everything he needed to know and Sirius closed his eyes. “I’m done with the world taking everyone we care about away. I’m done with fighting for all of this. I just want.. I don’t know what I want anymore.” 

James wrapped his arm around his brother’s shoulders, bringing him in for a side hug. “I know what you mean…” He said softly, staring into the water of the pond. “I’m terrified, Sirius. Having a baby at a time like this. What if something happened to me, or to Lily? Where would he go?” He shuddered slightly as a thought came to him. “Lily’s sister is the only family he would have left... “

“He’d have me.” Sirius said and whistled through his teeth. “He’d always have me. I’m going to make sure that kid has the longest and happiest of lives. You two aren’t going anywhere… But that kid is always going to have his cool Uncle Sirius. I’m going to get him his first tattoo, take him for his first drink, his first legal drink… He’s going to be the coolest kid you’ve ever seen.”

At this point Lily stood behind them with three mugs of tea balanced in her hands. “One, stop assuming my child’s gender, Sirius. Two, I will murder you if you tattoo my son and three, drink the tea.” She said and passed them the mugs before putting one of her hands on her hip.

James laughed softly, and accepted his mug of tea. “Thanks, dear.” He chewed his lip for a moment, glancing at Lily before turning to Sirius once more. “We- We were going to wait to ask you this. But you don’t just have to be Uncle Sirius. We’d be honoured if you would be the baby’s godfather…” He glanced at Lily, hoping she would be okay with him asking.

Lily smiled softly at James and Sirius beamed at them. “Well, you and Remus are attached at the hip, so basically this kid gets two godparents for the price of one.” She smiled. 

“I’d love that.” Sirius said with a wide smile. “I’ll be the best godfather ever. I’ll be the godfather.” Sirius said not understanding the muggle reference. “I’ll buy him loads of stuff. We can do play dates. He can ride on my back!”

Lily groaned and rolled her eyes at Sirius. “I don’t want to think about that.” 

James ruffled Sirius’s hair, grinning at him. “I’ll take it that you accept the role then.” He sipped his tea, beaming at Lily. He jerked his head towards the half-empty bottle of firewhiskey, raising his eyebrow at it. Sirius was blabbering excitedly about being a godfather, he had forgotten all about it.

Lily reached over and took the bottle, placing it in her back pocket before Sirius realised. She smiled at James and sipped her tea again. 

“Come on, boys. Inside. The spare room’s all set up for you. I’ll make a full english in the morning.” Lily said and started to head into the house before the boys joined her. 

“Thanks, Prongs.” Sirius said and pulled James into a hug. 

“Of course.” James whispered, hugging Sirius back, patting his back. “He’ll be okay. I know it.” Giving Sirius’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze, he smiled softly at his brother, before leading the way back into the house. 


	23. Chapter 23

“Alright, Mumma?” Sirius was sitting on the stairs of the Potter’s old house as Lily and James made their way up. 

“Watch it.” Lily said with a small smile. It had been two months since they had been here and since they had last seen Remus. Sirius had been around the Potter’s cottage most days so it was unsurprising to see him, but he had obviously been waiting for them before he went into the meeting. 

They walked in together and Lily froze, spotting Remus slumped in a chair in the corner. Her hand moved to grab hold of Sirius before he did anything stupid. 

James' hand also reached out to Sirius, gripping his shoulder. Ever since that day by the pond, the day James had come to understand the full extent of Sirius and Remus’ friendship, he had grown extremely protective of his brother. He loved Remus, always would. But Sirius had suffered so much these past few months, he couldn’t help but feel defensive.

“Come on.” He muttered into Sirius’s ear, guiding him to three empty seats at the table, meaning they sat opposite Remus.

Lily sat down so Sirius was in between her and James, but she kept her eyes on Remus. She could see he had more scars than usual and he was holding himself weirdly, she had a feeling he was hurt. A few more people came in and she watched as Peter walked in, taking a seat next to Remus brightly. 

James scowled when he noticed Peter lean in, chatting to Remus like nothing had changed, almost like they’d been in contact this whole time. He noticed Sirius clenching his fists under the table, and realised he was doing the same.

“Well, Wormtail certainly looks happier than ever…” Sirius muttered, his voice almost poisonous.

Lily placed her hand on Sirius’ arm. “He probably just enjoyed having some time to himself… You know he’s been struggling with the war, a few weeks at home probably did him good…” Lily said, trying to get the boys to see sense. “Remus looks hurt…”

She was interrupted when Dumbledore walked in. The old man smiled at Remus, giving him a knowing nod. He looked over to see Lily, James and Sirius sat opposite him. His smile widened when he saw how big Lily’s baby bump had grown. There hadn’t been a meeting of the Order since he told them all to lie low, many changes had occurred in that time. 

Dumbledore started outlining patrols and handing out jobs to people, there were also extra patrols put on Godric's Hollow and Saltaire. Lily looked up when Dumbledore handed out these orders and she quickly glanced at Alice who did the same thing. As the meeting came to an end, Dumbledore stood up and looked around the table. “Mr and Mrs Potter and Mr and Mrs Longbottom, can you come with me?” He said before slowly walking out of the room. 

Sirius began to stand up and Lily put her hand on his shoulder. “Stay here… We’ll be back in a minute.” She kissed the top of his head before following Dumbledore. 

James grabbed Lily’s hand as they made their way into the parlour, following Dumbledore. He gave her a worried look. The last time someone had been singled out, he’d been sent to live with werewolves. What Dumbledore could want with two married and pregnant couples was beyond him.

Lily squeezed his hand as they made their way into the parlour, she chewed on her lip remembering the good memories of this room, sleeping on the floor after Marlene’s birthday and the Christmas they spent here with her mum. She shook her head before taking a seat on the sofa with James. 

“I need to make you all aware of something I have heard.” Dumbledore said, sitting in the armchair and looking at both of the couples. “A prophecy has been made… One that I personally heard. This prophecy is to be kept secret, but I have been led to believe it is about one of you.” 

“What is it?” Alice asked, her hand gripping her husband’s. 

Dumbledore brought his hands under his chin.  “ The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.” Dumbledore looked up at the two couples. “I am to believe that the prophecy is about one of your children.”

James felt faint, his hand holding Lily’s so tightly. “What?” He breathed, staring at Dumbledore in horror. But he knew it made sense. All four of them had survived a Voldemort attack three times, both couples had a baby due for the end of July. But… How could  _ their  _ baby possibly be… “This can’t be true…”

“I heard the prophecy myself, Mr Potter.” Dumbledore said sadly. “You will be under the best protection possible. Once I have organised some things, we will put up charms and wards and make sure you will all be safe.” He said before standing. “I am sorry to burden you all with this.”

“Wait!” James said, standing up as well. “But surely if  _ you  _ heard this prophecy, then why are we going into hiding? Voldemort wouldn’t have been there, would he? So he won’t know about the fact that one of our children will be his downfall! Unless there’s something you’re not telling us, Sir.”

Frank and Alice nodded their agreement, staring at Dumbledore. “We deserve to know the whole story, Albus.” Frank said, his voice shaky. “If the lives of our children are at stake.”

Dumbledore turned to look at them. “The prophecy was told in a public area, I cannot be sure it was not overheard. All prophecies are placed deep into the Department of Mysteries and I cannot promise he will not get hold of it.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, but it’s for your safety that I do this.”

James sank back into his chair. He pushed his hands up under his glasses, rubbing his face as he groaned. “This isn’t fair…” He muttered, so softly only Lily could have heard it. 

“I know.” Lily replied and closed her eyes for a moment. She stood up. “So we should probably all get home then..” She said and forced a smile towards Frank and Alice. “We’ll see you when this is all over…” She smiled and hugged Alice tightly. “Stay safe.” She hugged Frank. “Both of you.”

James looked shellshocked, letting Lily lead him out of the house. But before they disapparated away, he turned to take another look at the manor house he had grown up in. If they were going to be hiding away, he didn’t know when he would see it again. As he gazed up at the many windows, Sirius came running out of the front door.

“Oi! You can’t leave without explaining what the hell Dumbledore wanted! I swear to Merlin, if you two have to go and live with bowtruckles or something, I’m going to lose my shit.” Sirius froze when he saw the looks on their faces. His expression morphed into one of terror. “What? What did he tell you?”

Lily reached a hand out to Sirius. “Come with us, we will talk at home.” She said and looked over at James. She knew he was on his way to getting angry or upset or some kind of emotion and she knew they needed to get out of here. “Come on, Sirius.”

Sirius nodded, and together the three of them apparated to the cottage in Godric’s Hollow. James stormed upstairs, slamming his and Lily’s bedroom door shut behind him, a big indicator that he needed a moment with his thoughts. Sirius looked at Lily, taking her hand in his.

Lily and Sirius moved to talk in the living room, she told him everything. She probably wasn’t allowed, but he was Sirius, she didn’t keep anything from him. 

Sirius sighed deeply, his head in his hands. He sat quietly, not moving, not speaking. An enraged shout sounded from upstairs. That made Sirius look up. “He’s not taking it well…”

“Yeah… Well, you can’t fight against a prophecy, can you?” Lily placed her hands on her stomach. “The more you fight it, the more it seems to come true.” She sighed and looked up when someone came through the door. 

“Alice told me what happened…” Remus said quietly from the doorway. “I’m sorry…” He said and hovered away from them. 

Sirius looked up, his eyes rimmed red as he looked at Remus. His jaw clenched, his hands closing into fists again. “When did you get back?” He asked his flatmate, his voice emotionless.

“Yesterday.” He said. “Had to debrief Dumbledore so he asked me to stay at headquarters.” 

“Right.” Sirius replied, the atmosphere was cold. But it was broken when James appeared in the doorway, his hair even more of a mess than usual. His hand was by his side, his knuckles bloody. His fingers stuck out at an odd angle, clearly dislocated or broken. He looked utterly distraught.

“Jamie.” Lily said with a sigh and stood up going over to him. “Punching… Well whatever, isn’t going to help this.” She said, keeping her voice calm and looking at his hand, she took out her wand and started casting spells over the skin. “Remus, darling, we should probably have a drink or something. Could you brew the kettle, and find something a bit stronger in the cupboard?” She said and smiled at Remus. 

James dropped into his armchair, flinging his glasses onto the small table beside it and pressed his hands to his face once again. Remus did as Lily asked, moving into the kitchen and pointed his wand at the kettle, boiling the water instantly. He found the firewhiskey Lily had been talking about, bringing both the alcohol and the cups of tea back through. “Here.” He said softly.

“Thank you.” Lily said, still standing. She moved over and pulled Remus into a hug. “I’ll be the one to say it, we missed you.” She hugged him tightly. 

“I missed you all too.” Remus said looking at Sirius. “Also, I didn’t think so much would change, but damn, Lily.” 

“If you make a comment on my size I will send you back to those werewolves myself.” Lily threatened. 

Remus chuckled. “I won’t say a word, I promise.” He sat down in another one of the armchairs, hugging his cup of tea in his hands. 

Sirius let out an indignant noise, almost like a scoff as he ignored the tea, going straight for a glass of firewhiskey.

Lily picked up the cup of tea and took a sip, it was made exactly as she liked it. The whole room went quiet, everyone staring off into space, lost in their own thoughts. 

“Peter looks like he’s doing a bit better…” Remus said quietly. 

“I can’t fucking believe this.” James said, unable to hold it in any longer. “Why the  _ fuck  _ does a child have to be involved in this? With _ the power to vanquish the Dark Lord.  _ A baby? Possibly our baby?” He shook his head, clicking his knuckles. “I always knew Dumbledore was a bit barmy, but this is taking the piss.”

“I know, Jamie.” Lily said softly looking over at him. “It’s not his fault… He just found out about it. Would you prefer if we didn’t know? We’d be putting the baby at risk. It’s better to be safe. It could be neither of us, it could be someone else…” Lily said, a glint of hope in her voice. 

“It shouldn’t be anyone.” James said through gritted teeth, staring into the empty fireplace.

“Hear hear!” Sirius said, raising his glass of firewhiskey, downing it in one. 

“I know…” Lily's voice was quiet and she closed her eyes resting her head on the arm of the sofa. 

Remus got to his feet, setting down his still full mug of tea. “I should go… I’ve got some things I need to do, need to sort out.” He glanced towards Sirius. “Arguments to be had, I’m sure.”

“Please don’t be a stranger.” Lily said softly and also looked at Sirius who stood up. 

“I’ll be over tomorrow.” He said and walked straight out, not waiting for Remus. 

Remus nodded at both Lily and James before following Sirius out of the door. There were two loud cracks, and they were gone. James was still staring into the fireplace, not really noticing that there wasn’t a fire burning.

“James…” Lily said quietly looking over at him. “You’re scaring me a little bit…”

His face still fixed with anger, James turned his gaze to Lily. “How are you not as mad as I am?” He said to her, flexing his recently healed hand. “How can he do this to us? To our child?”

“He didn’t do it. He didn’t come up with the prophecy. He’s keeping us safe. What more can he do?” She said, pulling her knees up on the sofa. 

“I don’t know, Lily.” James sighed, his elbows moving to balance on his knees as he rested his head in his hands. “This has all gotten so mental. We were a part of the war, yes, fighting the good fight. But we never meant to be  _ involved. _ And certainly not have the life of our baby at risk…”

“Then what do you want to do, James? Do you want us to run? To fight? I don’t know what to do.” She said, keeping her voice low.

“I don’t know.” He whispered, looking up at her with teary eyes. “I just- I don’t know, Lily.” He sniffed, a tear falling. “F-For the first time… I’m truly… I’m lost.”

Lily stood up and went to go and sit with him. “I know. But we have each other. That’s what matters. We have each other and we will protect each other.” She kissed the side of his head and hid her face against his neck. 

James sighed deeply, holding her close. His hand moved to rest against her stomach and a small smile broke out on his lips when he felt the baby kick at his touch. “Someone’s telling Mummy and Daddy to cheer the hell up…”

“I think he is.” Lily smiled, she brushed her fingers through the back of James’ hair. “We are going to be okay. We’re going to be a family.” 

\-- 

The front door slammed open and Lily jumped up with her wand raised, which was quite a feat for a seven months pregnant woman to do. She lowered her wand once she realised it was Remus and Sirius, the latter of whom was hurt, badly. He was slung over Remus, both of them had blood and dirt on them and Sirius was struggling to stay conscious. “Put him on the sofa.” Lily said quickly before grabbing her Healer kit from the counter. “James!” She called out for her husband who was upstairs before she moved to look over Sirius. “What happened?” She asked Remus who had slumped to the floor. 

James heard Lily’s shout and went into panic mode, terrified that she hadn’t gone into labour early. “What!?” He shouted back as he crashed down the stairs, wand drawn and his face half-shaved. “Shit, Padfoot…” He muttered as he saw the scene before him. He ran towards his brother, grabbing him by the face. “Stay with me, Sirius.”

“James, get me some towels, a damp flannel and some water.” She looked at James. “Now!” She snapped at him before starting on Sirius’ worst wounds. 

“Dumbledore set up a raid. Known place for death eaters to be, we were meant to…” Remus coughed and tried to steady his breathing. “We were meant to outnumber them, but they knew about it. There were death eaters everywhere, Bellatrix, Lucius, Rodolphus. All the worst ones.” Remus groaned resting his head on the sofa. “They killed Marlene. I don’t know if Dorcas got out.”

James leapt into action, doing as Lily had asked. He passed the flannel, towels and water to Lily just before Remus told them about Marlene. “Marlene…” He whispered, freezing up in shock. “No…” Horror showed on his face and he immediately looked to Lily.

Lily listened to what Remus said, but continued to work on Sirius. She was going to save his damn life whether he liked it or not. She ripped off his shirt and wiped at her face, realising she was crying. She started healing wounds. “James, check on Remus.” She said as clearly as she could muster while she continued to work on Sirius. 

“R-Right…” He stammered, getting to his feet shakily. He walked almost like he was in a daze, not quite believing it was true. He crouched down by Remus, glancing at him. He didn’t look too badly injured, mainly just shaken. “I’m so sorry, mate…”

Sirius let out a low groan, his eyelids fluttering. It seemed for a moment that he was about to wake up, but then his eyes rolled back into his head again, and he slumped back down, unconscious still.

Lily quickly poured a potion down his throat and his breathing settled as if he was sleeping. She began cleaning him up with most of his injuries having been healed. Once she was happy with what she had done, she waved her wand over him once more accepting that he was okay. She pulled a blanket over him and stood up, walking into the kitchen and leaning over the sink. 

James shared a look with Remus, who gave him a nod back as if to say ‘go, I’ll be fine.’. He got to his feet and followed Lily into the kitchen, keeping his distance, knowing she liked her space when something like this happened. “I’m sorry, Lily…”

Lily just shook her head, leaning over the sink. She took deep breaths trying to calm herself down, but closed her eyes and threw up into the sink. She wiped at her mouth and turned the tap on taking a sip and splashing some water into her face. She turned around and looked at James. “I don’t want to die.”

James bit his lip, moving close to her. He wrapped her up in a hug, holding her tightly. “You won’t. I’ll see to that. You  _ won’t  _ die, Lily... “ He couldn’t guarantee it, but he knew he would die before he let anything happen to her. “Dumbledore has cast every protection charm under the sun to keep us safe. We have Sirius as our secret keeper, no one can get in.” He pushed her hair out of her face, cupping her cheeks as he looked into her eyes. “We’re safe here.”

“Yeah… Yeah.” She muttered, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt as they stood there. “We’re safe…” She took a small breath and closed her eyes. “Sirius is going to be okay. But we are going to have to watch him overnight. Remus should get himself cleaned up…” She said, her Healer training coming to the forefront of her mind. If she couldn’t fight, she could help. She would help and save her family.

James nodded softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Don’t stress yourself, my love. I can watch him, you should get some rest. Check over Remus, I think he’s a bit bruised and battered, but no worse for wear.”

“I’m fine, James.” She said with a serious look. She walked past him and put her hand out to Remus. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and checked up.” She said and Remus took her hand, standing up. They headed upstairs to the spare bedroom, where in half an hour she had him tucked up in the bed and out cold for the night. 

James made his way back into the living room meanwhile. He levitated Sirius so that he was resting on the sofa, which he quickly transfigured into a comfortable bed. He sat down in a chair beside him, resting his head against the mattress. He let out a deep sigh, feeling like the world was weighing so heavily on him.

Lily came back down and walked over to James, kissing the top of his head. “You’ll be a good dad.” She said, looking over at Sirius who was sleeping soundly. She waved her wand over Sirius to do some final checks of him before nodding. “He’s stabilizing. You might want to stay down here tonight though…”

James looked up when he heard her voice, smiling softly when she mentioned him being a good dad. “Yeah.” He replied, looking back at his brother. “I won’t leave him like this. Is Moony alright?” He looked at her again, one of his hands coming to rest on her waist.

“Yeah. He’s out cold.” She said and smiled, letting his head rest against her. “He’s got way more scars than he used to. Dumbledore should have never sent him to that place.”

“Bloody hell…” James muttered, his eyes closing as he leant against her. “Poor Remus… I can’t imagine how awful his transformations were in that place... “

“I heard some stories about it there. The transformations aren’t even the worst part.” She shivered and brushed her hands in his hair. “He’s safe now. He’s home.”

“I know…” James whispered, closing his eyes. “I’m so sorry, about Marlene…” He held her tightly. “I can’t- I can’t believe it.”

“You don’t need to apologise, Jamie. You didn’t do it.” She sighed. “It’s a war, we should have expected it.” She leant down and kissed the top of his head. “Me and Baby are going to bed. Wake me if you need anything.”

“Night.” He said, looking up at her. He gave her a look that begged for a kiss, his thumb stroking across her belly. 


	24. Chapter 24

Remus stood in their living room, Sirius was curled up in the armchair and Lily and James sat on the sofa. “You can say no, you know.” She said, looking up at him. “What about Harry? I thought you wanted to meet him.”

James' head turned, he looked at Lily in shock. Both Sirius and Remus looked confused too. “Harry?” James asked, his brow furrowed. “I don’t remember us choosing a name…” 

“Yeah, well I like Harry.” Lily said but turned to look straight back at Remus. “You don’t have to go. I’ll talk to Dumbledore myself.”

“I’m the only one that can do it.” Remus sighed. “I’ll try and be back as soon as possible. I’ll meet… Harry. Don’t worry.” Remus glanced at Sirius who was deadly silent. 

“Alright.” James said, getting up off the sofa to give Remus a big hug. “Look after yourself, Moony. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and don’t do anything I  _ would  _ do. There’s a fine line in there somewhere.”

Remus chuckled and hugged James back tightly. “Thanks, Prongs. I’ll bear that in mind. I’ll be fine, I promise. I can look after myself.”

Lily stood up, it was more like a waddle than a walk and hugged Remus. “Don’t leave me alone with these morons for too long.” She whispered in his ear with a sad smile. 

Remus nodded and looked over at Sirius again, he paused before walking out of the house. 

“I need a drink.” Sirius grunted, standing up as well. “I’ll see you soon.” Sirius said and followed Remus out of the house. 

“Merlin.” James breathed, running a hand through his hair as he stared out the door that his two friends had just vacated. He took a second to let it sink in before shrugging it off, turning back to his wife. “So… Harry, huh?”

“I like Harry. Harry James Potter. It works.” She said, a small smirk falling on her lips. “Why think you can come up with something better?”

“Harry James?” James felt his heart swell, his arms wrapping around her waist. He felt honoured that she had considered his family’s tradition of a son’s middle name being the name of the father. “I love it.” He whispered, ducking his head down to kiss her.

“You best do, we don’t have long now…” Lily looked at the calendar on the wall and sighed, it was the 30th July, the prophecy said a boy born at the end of July. She just had that tiny selfish bit of hope that Harry would wait a few more days before coming, then he wouldn’t be part of the prophecy. 

An owl hooted from the kitchen window holding a letter. “James.” She said waiting for him to collect it. 

“Hmm?” James hummed, he had moved now so that he was pressing gentle kisses against Lily’s neck and shoulder. Being the middle of Summer, she had taken to wearing strappy dresses and tops, much to his delight. He didn’t hear the hoot of the owl, much too distracted by Lily’s lovely soft skin.

Lily smacked his arm. “James. The owl.” She snapped at him and pointed at the owl. She sat back down onto the sofa with a loud  _ humph,  _ and watched him as he collected the letter. 

“Oh…” He blushed slightly, having gotten a bit carried away. With Lily being so heavily pregnant, he was just a  _ little  _ wound up. He stumbled into the kitchen, untying the scroll from the owl’s leg. He brought it back through to the living room, holding it out to Lily. “It’s for you, darling.”

Lily took the letter opening it up, she patted the sofa next to her and told him to sit, mostly so she could put her legs on him and he could massage her feet. She started to read through the letter when a photo fell out, she picked up the photo to see a very exhausted looking Alice holding a tiny baby in her arms. “Alice had her baby.” Lily said and passed James the photo. She read more of the letter. “Neville. She had him this morning.”

James knew exactly what Lily was going for when she rested her legs on his lap. He conceded immediately, taking one of her feet between his hands, rubbing them. He chewed his lip when he saw the photo, looking at Alice and Frank’s son. “A boy… They had a boy, Lily... “ He hated himself for it, but he secretly prayed that this baby was  _ the  _ baby. “A cute little boy, but he was born at the end of July.” One of his hands pressed against Lily’s bump, his nose moving close to it so he could talk to his unborn son. “You hold out, Harry. Two days, make it to August. For Daddy.”

Lily let a small nervous breath out. “Is it selfish of us to wish that?” She said quietly and looked over at James. “Is it selfish for us wanting him to be born in August, for Alice and Frank to take on that burden.” Lily wiped at her eyes. 

“It’s incredibly selfish.” He whispered, looking up at her. “But I’m pretty sure Frank and Alice felt the same way.” James let out a deep sigh, his forehead resting against her bump. As if he sensed how his parents were feeling, Harry pushed, kicking out. “Sorry, buddy.” James chuckled, kissing the spot that had moved. “We’re okay. Mummy and Daddy are so excited to meet you, I promise.”

“Don’t stress him out.” She said with a nervous laugh. She closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the sofa. She took a breath before picking up her book and began reading to pass the time. 

James returned to massaging Lily’s feet, wrapped up in his own thoughts. He felt awful for wanting Harry to be born after July, but he also felt he was in his right to. No parent wants their child to be born with a destiny like the one the prophecy spoke of. There would be a mark on their son’s head from the moment he drew his first breath. 

After a while Lily pulled her legs away from James ,staying curled up on the sofa reading her book. As it got dark she waved her wand to turn the lights on and kept her eyes on her book. 

As the night grew later and later, James felt tiredness creep into his bones. He checked his watch. "Lily, honey, we should probably head for bed. It’s late…"

Lily closed her eyes and took a breath before looking at him. “Yeah… Course…” She said and slowly started standing up, she leant against the arm of the sofa and took another breath. “Sorry.. I might take a while.” She smiled at him. 

“Are you alright, love?” James said, jumping to his feet. Concerned, he wrapped his arm around her, happy to give her a hand. “Feeling the weight of him tonight, huh?”

“Yeah, your son is just as good at annoying me as you used to be.” Lily smiled, resting against James before they started to make their way upstairs. Lily stopped when they reached the top, leaning against him with her eyes closed for a moment before making their way to the bedroom. 

“Like father like son.” James grinned at her as they made their way up to their room. When she took a moment on the landing, James frowned slightly. “You’re… You’re not in pain are you, Lil?”

“No, Jamie. I’m fine. Just exhausted.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m going to sleep in my clothes tonight, because even that seems like too much effort.” She smiled at him as she sat on the bed. “Come on, you look tired.” 

“Not too tired to make sure you’re comfortable, my love.” He smiled softly at her, pecking her lips sweetly. He lifted her dress over her head, folding it up neatly before he reached under her pillow to grab her nightgown. “Arms up for me, Lily.” He patted her wrist. 

“I am not a child, James.” She rolled her eyes at him but did what he said allowing him to pull the night dress over her. “Patronising git.” She smirked and hooked her foot behind his knee to pull him over.

“Just practicing.” He smirked when she scolded him, making sure her nightgown was on properly. He yelped though, when she toppled him over. He landed next to her on the bed and chuckled, looking up at her from where he lay. “Due to give birth any day now and can still best me. One of the many reasons why I love you, Lily Potter.”

“You best do, James Potter. This is the most peace and quiet we are going to have for the next few years, enjoy it while it lasts.” She smiled and lay back on the bed, lying her head on the pillow. “I love you.” She said softly.

“I know.” He whispered back, leaning over to kiss her gently. Then he rolled over, clambouring off the best to pull his shirt over his head. He groaned slightly, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned, the muscles tensing in his back. “Who knew being trapped in your own home could be so exhausting.” He murmured, stretching his neck now.

“Well, soon we will be trapped in here with three of us, no sleep and dirty nappies and sick.” Lily said with a sigh, she was rubbing her back with one hand. “Also, you are in no way shape or form allowed to moan.” She said and threw a pillow at him. “I’m making a person.”

“Sounds like Heaven.” James replied to her description of the next few years of their lives. He stripped off the rest of his clothes, stark bollock naked when she threw the pillow at him, Chaser reflexes still sharp, he caught it before it connected with his body. “I know, darling.” He winked at his wife, placing the pillow back on the bed before pulling on his pyjamas. “And I think you’re the most incredible person ever for doing it.” He crawled back into bed, pressing a loving kiss to her cheek. “What do you reckon he’s going to look like?”

Lily smiled, lying back and looking at him. “Hopefully he’ll look like me.” She cupped his face, “Because no kid deserves your ugly mug and hair.” She patted his face with a grin. 

James chuckled and pecked her lips. “Hey, you’re the one who has to love this ugly mug.” His hand had found its way to its favourite spot at the moment, resting on her bump. “I hope he has your eyes. I love your eyes… Mine are all boring and hazel, yours are... “ His voice trailed off, his mind searching for the right description. “Yours are more beautiful than emeralds.”

“Darling, if you keep me from sleep any longer, I will rip off your balls so you can never put me through this again… Okay?” She said softly and smiled. “As long as the kid isn’t as blind as you, we should be fine. Goodnight James.”

James laughed softly at that, kissing her once more before rolling over to turn the light out. “Goodnight, my love.” He settled down against the pillows, getting comfortable. “And goodnight, Harry.”

Lily let James fall asleep, but she knew she wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. She kept her back to him until she knew he was asleep before sitting up in bed, she’d been feeling off for hours now, pain in her back and cramps every so often. She took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself, she looked at the clock to see it was two in the morning. After a while watching the clock, she forced herself to stand up and made her way to the bathroom. “Your dad asked you nicely to wait.” Lily said, her hand lightly rubbing her bump as she leant against the sink. “I could do with you waiting as well.” She breathed deeply before gasping as she cramped. 

James felt the bed cool beside him, and somehow he knew he had to wake up. So he did. Groggily, his eyes peeled open and he spied that the bedroom door was open, a light on down the hall. He pushed his glasses on, and yawning he made his way out of bed and towards the light. “Lily, hun?” He called out. “Honey? Are you alright?”

Lily had both hands resting on the sink as she breathed deeply. “I’m okay…” She said and looked at herself in the mirror. “I’m okay.” She said her voice breaking slightly, as she winced again. 

“Oh shit.” James’ eyes widened, he was fully awake now. Panic sort of set in and he rushed towards her, his hand moving to rub her back. “He’s coming?” 

“We’re meant to wait…” Lily said with shaky breaths. “One more day. One more day and he’s safe. We’re meant to wait.” She whimpered, gripping tightly onto the sink. 

James pressed a soft kiss to her hair, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. “It’s okay. He’s going to be okay.” Grateful that he had picked his wand up when he’d put his glasses on, he conjured a patronus. Prongs leapt out of the bathroom window and to the Healer witch that Sirius had given the location of the cottage to. “Breathe, Lily. It’s going to be alright, my love.”

“I don’t want to. I can wait…” She gasped feeling the pain again, her hand moving to her bump. “I can hold it, I can wait. He can be born tomorrow…” She sobbed.

“Lily… Lily, look at me.” He said, his voice firm, but still soothing. Somehow, James Potter was the perfect person to have with you in a situation like this. “He’s coming now, It’s not ideal, but it’s happening. And we’re going to meet our little boy, finally” He smiles at the thought, begging her to see the good side. “We’re going to see our Harry.”

Lily listened to him, looked at his face as he spoke. She smiled widely, “We’re going to see Harry.” She then looked worried. “I should be honest. I’ve been having contractions for... a while.” She looked at him nervously. “I was hiding them… James…” She squeezed his arm tightly and leant her weight against him. 

“I know.” James said softly, supporting her as she leant against him. “I didn’t realise it at the time, but I suspected... “ He kissed her hair. “It’s alright, the Healer is on her way. Everything will be okay.” As he said it, he heard the front door slam shut downstairs, heard the Healer they trusted shouting out for them. “We’re upstairs, in the bathroom!” James called back to her, still holding Lily up.

Lily laughed nervously. “Yeah, it’s all going to be okay…” She slumped down, sitting on the floor as she felt another contraction keeping hold of James. “Jamie.” She whimpered.

James followed her to the floor, holding her close. “You can do this... “ He said, wishing he could do more to help her, have the baby for her or something. “You’re the strongest person I know, Lil. I know you can do this.”

The Healer found her way into the bathroom, immediately rushing to Lily’s aid. “Ready to pop are you? Not to worry, we’ll have this little one out in no time, sweetheart.” She said soothingly, her midwifery equipment spreading itself out on the floor magically. 

In the space of an hour, Lily found herself lying on her bathroom floor holding a baby against her chest. “Harry. I’m your mum.” Lily said softly, her hair sticking to her face as she stared down at the baby wrapped in a grey blanket. 

James couldn’t stop grinning. He sat against the bathroom cabinet, Lily between his legs. He smiled down at their son, one hand wrapped around Lily’s waist, the other stroking Harry’s jet black hair. He cooed slightly when Harry opened his eyes finally, and they were Lily’s eyes. He pressed a kiss to Lily’s sweaty temple. “Lily… He’s perfect.”

“He is.” She responded, not letting her eyes leave the small baby in front of her. The Healer smiled as the couple looked over their baby, she cleaned up her items, packing them away. “I’ll come and check on you three in the next few days. For now, I’ll let you get to know him.” She smiled and nodded to the family before leaving them alone. 

Harry made a bubble with his lips, making a few unbelievably adorable noises as he did so. James laughed along with his son, tears starting to stream down his cheeks. He reached his finger out and Harry wrapped his own fingers around it. “Hey, kiddo… It’s your dad…”

Lily kept her arms around her son, watching him move and make noises. She couldn’t stop looking at him, she felt like she would never want to stop looking at him. “You’ve got your dad’s hair.” Lily cooed softly. “We… Jamie, we should probably get out of the bathroom.” She said but made no indication of moving. 

“You sure you feel up for moving?” James said softly, Harry was still holding onto his finger. “I don’t want you struggling… Or is that pain potion still helping?” 

“I… I don’t really know.” Lily smiled at Harry. “There’s a baby in my arms.” She looked at James. “We have a baby.” She kissed him and rested her forehead against his. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” James said softly, kissing her again. He pressed gentle kisses all over her face. “You were so amazing... Incredible.” Carefully, he eased himself from behind Lily, getting to his feet. He moved so that he was in front of her before crouching down. “Should I take him? So then you can get up?” He didn’t want to admit it, but he was very eager to hold his son in his arms.

“But that means I have to let go of him.” She said with wide eyes and looked at James. She could see how much he wanted to hold Harry. She smiled widely at James before moving forward and placing Harry in his arms. “Hold his head.” She said, showing him where to move his arms. 

James let out a little gasp when Lily settled Harry in his arms, his smile growing impossibly wider. He did as she instructed, cradling his head carefully. Gently, he pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead, brushing his thumb against Harry’s cheek. Looking back at Lily, he used his free hand to hold out to her. “Think you can make it?” 

“I’m okay, just hold the baby.” Lily said looking slightly worried, “Both hands.” She said, moving to lean against the bath, pulling herself up so she could sit on the edge. She took a deep breath and brushed her hair back out of her face. She reached on the counter, finding a scrunchie and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She looked up at James and smiled. “My boys.” 

“Right.” James said, moving his hand back to Harry. He watched nervously as Lily hoisted herself up, but grinned proudly at her when she managed it. Harry appeared to be obsessed with his glasses, his hands kept reaching up to pull them off his face. James just laughed back. “Maybe he is blind like me and wants some glasses of his own…”

“Maybe.” She smiled and pulled herself up, leaning on the counter before making her way to the door. She leant on everything she could and managed to get to the bedroom, slumping onto the bed with a wince. 

“Well done, love.” James smiled, carrying Harry through to the bedroom. He leant down to press a kiss on Lily’s forehead. “I can’t believe he’s really here… Our son.” He sniffed, feeling tears prick at his eyes. “I love you both so much.” His voice broke slightly, emotions getting the best of him.

Lily smiled softly, moving so James could sit on the bed as well, she rested her head against him so she could look down at their son in his arms. Lily sat and watched their son until sleep got the better of her and she sunk into it.

Lily awoke a couple of hours later to find herself still leaning against James and the baby still in his arms. “It wasn’t a dream…” She said quietly.

James quite clearly hadn't slept a wink, still smiling down at Harry. The baby was fast asleep, so peaceful, so unaware of anything that was happening. Bleary eyed, James looked over at Lily when she spoke. "No… He's really here."

Lily slowly moved to sit up, a slight moan escaping her lips as she moved too quickly, but she propped herself up with pillows. “You should… You should get some sleep.” She said with a soft smile. “I could always hold him…”

James gave her a knowing smile, carefully moving so that he could place Harry back into her arms. He pressed a gentle kiss to Harry’s head, before moving so that he could kiss Lily as well. It was a soft kiss, sweet and loving. “I love you, so much.” He whispered once he pulled back.

“I love you too.” She kissed him back. “Also… This.” She indicated to the baby in her arms, “Is not happening again for a long while. That hurt.” She smirked before looking back down at the sleeping baby. 

“That’s completely fair.” James chuckled, kissing her forehead once more. He knew he should get some sleep really, but he was a bit of a clean freak. And he couldn’t get over the fact that the bathroom was still a mess. So leaving Lily with Harry in her arms, he made his way back to the bathroom, waving his wand to clear up.

Lily smiled watching him go and after a few minutes she heard the front door slam open. Lily quickly held Harry tightly before hearing a voice. “He’s gone. Bloody gone back to the werewolves.” She heard Sirius’ voice. “Sirius, we are upstairs.” Lily called out, hoping James heard.

James yawned and stumbled out of the bathroom onto the landing just in time to see Sirius storming up the stairs

“Merlin, mate.” Sirius said, looking James over. “You look like shit.”

“Oi.” James replied, unable to contain his grin. “Watch your language around my son, please.” 

“Your son?” Sirius suddenly felt himself sober up considerably. He pulled James into a tight hug before quickly making his way into the bedroom. 

“Alright, Uncle Padfoot?” Lily said softly, the baby still sleeping in her arms. “Come meet your godson.”

James leaned in the doorway as Sirius made his way over to Harry, a look of complete awe on his face. Very carefully, Sirius sat down on the bed, his hand reaching out to stroke the soft skin of Harry’s cheek. “He looks just like you, James… Have you agreed on a name?” He looked up at Lily, smiling happily, his previous anger having evaporated.

“Meet Harry James Potter.” Lily said and moved to place the small baby in Sirius’ arms. She wrapped the blanket around the baby more and moved Sirius’ hands so he was holding him right. 

Sirius squeaked a little when Lily placed Harry into his arms, nervous about holding him. He was sure that he had held Regulus as a baby, but he didn’t remember it. James meanwhile looked to Lily, a soft, but tired smile on his face.

“You’re doing good, Sirius.” Lily said softly and kept a hand on his arm. She looked over at James and saw him watching them. ‘Come here’ she mouthed to him and reached out her hand towards him. 

James sleepily made his way over to Lily and Sirius, climbing onto the bed so that his head was resting in her lap, lying on his side so he could watch his brother meeting his son. He let out a small, happy sigh, his eyes drooping slightly.

Lily moved her hand so she was stroking her husband's hair lightly, letting him sleep. “We’ve got two sleepy babies.” She said to Sirius who was still just staring in awe at the baby. 

“Did that one look after you?” Sirius asked softly, looking over at his brother. 

“He did very well.” Lily said, still stroking his hair. 

“I’d like a son one day.” Sirius said quietly, he moved his hand so his thumb brushed across the top of the baby’s hand. 

“As long as I get to be his godmother.” Lily couldn’t take the smile off her face, she had her family all together. 


	25. Chapter 25

Lily placed Harry in the pram that Sirius had bought them, Harry had been fussy all morning and he wouldn’t go off for his mid-morning nap whatever she tried. “I’ll just walk him around the block, I’ve got my wand on me.” Lily smiled softly at her husband. “No one will see me, I promise.” 

“Just… Please be careful…” James muttered, not particularly happy about Lily taking Harry out of the house. “ He pressed a lingering kiss to Harry’s cheek, chuckling softly when his son tried to snatch his glasses off his face. “I think we might be raising a little Seeker here…” He whispered before giving Lily a tight hug. “Be safe.”

“I know.” She said and kissed him. “Stop putting pressure on the poor boy.” Lily lightly stroked the hair on his head. “He can play whatever position in Quidditch he wants.” She poked her tongue out at him, she headed to the door closing it behind her and walked out onto the street. “Is this what you wanted?” She said to Harry, she took her wand out to her side and waved it, checking for anyone around before putting it back into her pocket. “Yeah, you wanted to go outside.” She cooed at the baby and began walking along the street. 

Harry giggled and made a few contented noises as she pushed his pram along. He was blinking up at the sky, blowing raspberries as they walked. He had a huge smile on his face, gazing up at his mother as they moved.

Lily was still getting used to being a mother, but it was times like this when her son made happy noises that made it worth it. She continued walking along and turned down another road. Lily kept her eyes looking around and suddenly she noticed something behind her. She picked up her pace, not knowing if it was friend or foe, but she wasn’t going to risk it. 

“Lily.” Severus Snape said, walking along behind her. His heart had lurched when he had spotted her from down the street. The Dark Lord had sent him to keep an eye out in Godric’s Hollow for known Order members. He hadn’t realised it was where Lily was living now. He knew little of her life, except for the fact that she had married Potter… He hadn’t spotted the pram, being too far from her to see it from behind, nor the baby that lay inside it.

“Stay away from me.” Lily tried to pick up her pace, part of her knew he wouldn’t hurt her, even now after everything. “Don’t make me hex you.” She threatened, not turning around to see him. 

“Wait… Please.” Snape pleaded, rushing over. He had longer legs than she did, and it didn’t take long for him to catch up. But his eyes widened when he spotted the pram, and his eyes fell on the small baby inside it. Harry looked up at him, eyes wide. Lily’s eyes…

“Don’t.” Lily’s wand was pressed into his chest as he reached her. “Don’t try anything.” She snapped at him and placed herself in between him and the baby in the pram. 

Snape held his hands up defensively, his excitement at spotting Lily had depleted dramatically. “So… You had a kid with him…” He couldn’t help himself, he  _ had  _ to say something about it. 

“I had a child with my husband, yes.” She took a step backwards, moving the pushchair with her. “Let me go, Severus.” She said, her wand was still pointing at his chest. 

“I just… I’m not going to hurt you or the-” He gestured his finger towards the kid. “I just wanted to see you, talk to you. It’s been a while…”

“What? You want to talk?” Lily snapped at him, keeping her wand raised. “How dare you?” 

“Wait…” Snape said, his eyes widening with a sudden realisation. His mouth grew dry, his hands shaking slightly. “L-Lily… When was he born? Y-Your son I mean… What date was he born?”

“Don’t… Severus don’t.” She winced at his words, a voice in her head said, ‘he knew’. “Stay away from me and my family.” She waved her wand, casting a stunning jinx before running back with Harry to the house. 

James was in the garden, dipping his feet in the pond to try and calm himself down since he was unbelievably nervous now that Lily had taken Harry out of the protective enchantments. He didn’t hear her come home.

Lily closed the door behind herself and Harry before putting up extra wards across the door, she slumped down to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on top of them. “Fuck.” She muttered her head spinning, she had ruined everything. 

Harry started wailing, sensing his mother’s fear. The noise carried to James, who immediately leapt up, running back into the house. He saw Lily by the front door, slumped on the floor. “Lily, honey, what happened? Are you both okay? Is- Is  _ he _ coming?”

Lily shook her head. “We’re okay…” She said quietly. “Harry’s okay…” She took a deep breath, trying not to let herself panic. “Snape… Snape knows. He knows about Harry, he knows when Harry was born.” Lily shivered. “It’s my fault…”

“Shit…” James whispered, gathering Harry up into his arms to try and calm him down as he screamed bloody murder. He slid down the door, so that he was sat by Lily. “You don’t think he overheard the prophecy do you? And told… Told Voldemort?”

“I don’t know.” Lily kicked her foot at the floor. “I don’t know.” She ran her hands across her face. “We need to talk to Sirius.”

“Yeah… Oh shh, Harry, shh. It’s okay.” James rocked Harry back and forth, trying to soothe him. “Merlin, Lily… This isn’t good… He knows where we are.” He sighed deeply, avoiding looking at her.

“I know. He doesn’t know where we are living… I stunned him so he didn’t see me come home. He just knows we are close.” Lily’s breathing picked up. “I shouldn’t have gone out. I should have obliviated him. Fuck.”

“We need to talk to Dumbledore…” James muttered, still trying to calm Harry down. “Maybe we can get some extra enchantments, extra help. I still feel like he’s leaving things out, that there’s stuff he’s not telling us.”

“Yeah… We do…” She rested her head back against the door before moving to take Harry. “Hey baby, it’s okay. Mummy’s got you.” Lily cooed at Harry, some of her hair dropped over him and he clasped it in his little hands. “You’ve got Mummy too, I know.” She said softly as the baby calmed down. 

James got to his feet and made his way into his study. He liked having his own space, but he had spent most of his time while they were in hiding researching prophecies and destinies. Books and papers were strewn all over the room. He went to grab a quill and parchment, then realised that was a foolish idea. So instead, he gripped his wand, fought to find a happy memory and let Prongs fly, delivering the message to his old headmaster.

Lily sat with baby Harry, waiting for him to calm. She stood up, holding the baby to her chest and went to the living room, she picked up James’ mirror. “Sirius.” She said quietly, “Sirius.” She said again. 

“Lily.” Remus’ face appeared in the mirror. “Are you okay?” He asked suddenly. 

“I don’t know, can you both come over?” Lily said nervously. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Of course.” Remus paused and looked at her again in the mirror. “Is that him? Is that Harry?” He said softly. 

Lily smiled and nodded, Remus disappeared from the mirror.

It wasn’t long before the fireplace in the living room burst into green flames, and out stepped Remus and Sirius. Remus looked exhausted and dishevelled, but a large smile grew on his face when he saw the baby in Lily’s arms in person.

Sirius looked concerned. If Lily was calling using the two way mirror, something bad must have happened. And if he knew James, he knew his brother was probably sulking somewhere. “Lily, where’s Prongs?”

“He’s in the study, he’s contacting Dumbledore.” Lily said, knowing Sirius would go and talk to him.

Remus stepped forward, “Not great timing I’m assuming.” He said to Lily, his eyes kept on the little boy in her arms. 

“Not really..” She let out a nervous laugh. “Uncle Remus, meet Harry, Harry James Potter.” Lily said with a soft smile, she moved and placed the baby in his arms. Remus cradled the baby like he was made of glass. 

\--

James had slumped into his chair in the study, hands over his face. He wanted to scream. He  _ knew  _ taking Harry out of the protective charms was a bad idea, he had told Lily that. And now Voldemort would probably be able to find them. He didn’t trust that Snape would keep it to himself, especially if he had worked out that Harry was born before the end of July. 

Sirius stood in the doorway of the office, “Talk to me. What happened?” He said leaning against the door frame. “We can fix it, whatever happened.”

James sighed, looking up at Sirius. “We can’t fix it. Lily decided it would be a good idea to take Harry on a walk.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm as he said it. “Oh yes, such a wonderful idea. Yet who does she bump into? Severus fucking Snape.”

\--

Remus meanwhile was rocking Harry gently, fawning over the baby. “He looks so like James…” he chuckled. “I’m your Uncle Moony, Harry. And I must say, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Lily watched as Remus rocked the baby, “It’s good to have you back Remus.” She said softly a hand on his arm. “We’ve missed you. Sirius has missed you.” She said and nudged him slightly with her arm.

“I’ve missed you all too.” Remus smiled back at her, chuckling as Harry gurgled in his arms. “I can’t believe it's taken me this long to meet Harry. But I’m back now, and Dumbledore said he doubts I’ll have to go undercover again.” He doubted it sure, but that didn’t mean he definitely wouldn’t go again.

“That’s good, I don’t want you leaving again. Last time it happened I gave birth on a bathroom floor, so you’re not allowed to leave again.” She smirked and moved so they both sat down. “Say hello to uncle Remus, Harry, say hello. Yes.” Lily babbled at her son, she should be worrying more but she didn't know what to do.

Remus chuckled at Lily, grinning back at her. “As long as there’s no other pregnancies I should know about, I think we’ll be alright on the giving birth front for the time being.” 

“No thank you, not again for a long while.” Lily smiled, she looked over Remus’ face at the three scars he now had running across it. “You want to talk about it?”

\--

“Then, we will put more wards. We’ll cut down the amount of people allowed to visit. Maybe even change the secret keeper.” Sirius said, listening to everything James said. “You’ve been going out every now and then, it was safe before, it’s just bad timing.” He sighed. “I don’t think Snape is going to try and get Lily killed, you probably, but he wouldn’t want to hurt Lily.”

“Sirius,  _ you’re  _ our secret keeper, I trust you more than anyone in the world.” Jame shook his head, feeling the beginning of a migraine. “And I don’t care what happens to me. Lily is safe from Snape, but what about  _ Harry? _ What about my son? If Voldemort decides he is the one in the prophecy, my son has a death sentence…”

“Yeah and who is the first person they are going to guess is your secret keeper? Me.” Sirius sighed, “I’m not saying I won’t do it and I’ll always be here for you, but think about it… I’m the obvious choice.” He ran his hand through his hair. “As for Harry, we protect him, like we always have, we protect our own.”

“We didn’t protect Marlene…” James muttered, staring out the window. “Or Dorcas or Gideon or Fabian or the countless other people we’ve lost. Who’s to say we won’t fail to protect Harry too…”

\--

Remus shook his head at Lily, sighing softly. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I swore an Unbreakable Vow to Dumbledore that I wouldn’t talk about it with anyone but him… Precautions, you know.”

“Yeah… I bet Sirius doesn’t like that.” Lily said with a sad smile, she looked back down at her son who had now fallen asleep. “Wish you had been here a few hours ago, probably would have stopped this whole situation.”

“What happened, Lily?” Remus asked, his arms rocking Harry. “If you don’t mind me asking? Y-You seemed panicked in the mirror.”

“I went outside, Harry wouldn’t settle. He’d been screaming since the early hours of this morning. So I took him out, he’s been out before, with either me or James. Just a small walk, some fresh air. But Snape was there… He saw me and Harry and asked when he was born. I stunned him and ran, I should have obliviated him or killed him or something, but I just ran…” Lily's voice was quiet as she looked at her sleeping son. 

“You did what you thought was for the best in the moment, Lily.” Remus said softly, trying to reassure her that it wasn’t the end of the world. “No one can berate you for that. We just have to hope that Snape still likes you enough to keep this information to himself…”

“Yeah…” She said quietly. “It’ll be okay… We’ll make it okay…” She rested her head on his shoulder and watched Harry for a few moments more.

\--

“Don’t say that.” Sirius gave James a dark look. “Don’t ever say that.” His hand clenched into a fist. “I will protect you all with my damn life if I have to.” He growled. 

“I know, Padfoot.” James sighed deeply. “And you know I would step in front of the Killing Curse in a heartbeat to protect you. But this is Snape… He loathes me. I don’t think his obsession with Lily is enough to stop him telling Voldemort everything. And Voldemort is far too strong…”

“Then Voldemort knows, that’s all we have. Voldemort will come after you eventually…” Sirius shook his head. “We fight to kill him before this happens, we hide you as much as we can. We win the war and save you three.” 

“It’s not going to be that easy, Sirius.” James whispered, finally turning to look at his brother. “Who knows what hidden magic he has? What secrets he holds that we don’t know about.”

“We are doing everything we can. I don’t know what else we can do.” Sirius said. “James, don’t waste the time you have with Harry, don’t spend your time worrying about things like this. I’ll deal with it.”

“Thanks, mate.” James sighed, getting up to hug Sirius. “It’s so… It's so difficult living in fear like this… We don’t deserve it.”

“That kid is going to have a long life. I’ll make sure of it.” Sirius said into his shoulder. 

“If something… If something happens to me and Lily... “ James sniffed at the thought, still hugging Sirius tightly. “You’ll look after him right? You won’t let him end up staying with Lily’s awful sister and her awful husband?”

Sirius didn’t respond to James’ comment, but he knew the other man knew he would do whatever he could to keep that little boy safe. 

Remus had fallen quiet, just staring down at the baby in his arms. After a few minutes of silence, he had to say something. “He’s so small… I didn’t think he would be this small…”

“If you make a comment saying because I was so big…” Lily smirked, knowing Remus never would. 

At that point Sirius came down the stairs and froze in the archway seeing Remus with Harry in his arms. Sirius shook his head before walking forward and dropping into an armchair. “Your husband is one stubborn man.” Sirius laughed. 

Remus looked up when Sirius entered, noticing his shirt was crumpled at his shoulder. James must have hugged him super tightly…

Lily looked over at the doorway, hoping James would emerge. She wanted to know he didn’t hate her, she wanted to know that he still loved her. 

After another moment pondering in his study, James went through to the kitchen, lingering in the doorway. He didn’t head all of the way in, simply deciding to stay in the doorway and watch his friend meeting his son.

Lily watched as he stopped in the doorway, she waited before turning back to Remus. “Sirius is officially his godfather now, after last weekend. We wanted you to be there…” Lily said quietly to Remus. 

“Oh, it's alright.” Remus smiled back at her. “I’m just happy that I get to see him now. He really is beautiful.”

“If only Peter was here, we’d have the whole family.” Lily said softly.

James came through the door now, moving to where Lily was sitting. He stood behind her and leaned down, his arms wrapping around her middle. He buried his face in her neck, eyes squeezing shut.

Lily closed her eyes as he moved his arms around her, she melted into his embrace, her hands moving over his. “I’m sorry.” She whispered so only he could hear. 

Sirius stood up and went over to Remus, he moved Remus’ arm slightly. “Like this.” He said helping the other man. 

“I’m sorry too…” James whispered into her neck, nuzzling closer. He was still mad. But not at Lily. He was mad at Voldemort. Furious at him. “I’m sorry I got so angry, I’m not mad at you, I promise…” He whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck.

Remus couldn’t help but grin as Sirius helped to show him how to hold Harry properly, making sure not to catch his eye. Instead he stared down at Harry who had woken up now. At the sight of Sirius, the baby had begun babbling excitedly, reaching his hands up to his godfather.

Lily stayed in his embrace with her eyes closed, She just wanted an easy life, she just wanted to spend the rest of her life with her husband and son, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

“Y-You should take him.” Remus said softly to Sirius. “He looks like he wants you.” Remus lifted up the baby so Sirius could take him. 

“Hey, pal!” Sirius grinned at Harry as he took him in his arms, thrilled that his godson had recognised him again. “I hear you’ve been giving your mum and dad grief by crying all night. Now I hate to break it to you, Harry, but that’s  _ my  _ job. So I’m going to need you to stop, capiche?” Harry simply laughed back, tugging at Sirius’ long hair. 

James couldn’t help but grin at the sound of Harry’s laughter, pulling his face from Lily’s neck to look over at them. But he kept his arms around her, not caring that his back was beginning to ache from leaning down in such a way.

Remus smiled softly looking at the other man. Lily stood up and moved around so she could hold James properly. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. 

James pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Lily’s head as he hugged her back, still watching Remus and Sirius fawn over Harry. Danger was coming, it was inevitable. But James had to take Sirius’ advice, and enjoy the moments he shared with his family, while he still could.


	26. Chapter 26

Lily sat on the floor of the living room, the small baby lying on a mat in front of her as Lily waved different toys over him. “Where’s my Harry?” She said, pulling faces at the little boy. “Who’s my beautiful?” She tickled his belly. 

Harry giggled, a small squeal escaping him as his mother tickled him. His tiny hands reached up towards the toy she was holding over him, trying to snatch it out of the air. 

Lily looked up, hearing a knock at the door. She placed the toy in Harry’s hand, grabbing her wand from the table next to her. “Mummy will be back…” She said to Harry before heading towards the door. Lily looked through the peephole before opening the door, her wand raised. “Tell me Harry’s favourite toy.” She said sharply. 

“The Hippogriff toy that I knitted, the one he sleeps with every night.” Replied the voice of Bathilda Bagshot, the historian that lived next door. She was a kind old lady who adored Harry and got on incredibly well with Lily and James. 

“Can never be too careful, Alastor wouldn’t let us.” Lily said, letting the older lady in and relocking the door behind her. “We’re in the living room.” She said, walking them both in. “Can I get you a cup of tea, Bathilda?” She asked, checking on Harry and handing him the toy he had dropped. 

“That would be lovely. Thank you, dear.” Bathilda smiled, patting Lily’s arm as she followed her into the living room, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Harry. “Hello, little one.” She smiled, shuffling over to the baby. She very carefully lowered herself to sit on the floor beside him.

Harry babbled brightly at the older lady and Lily smiled. “You don’t have to sit down there, Bathilda, I can always move him closer.” She said, but went off into the kitchen to make them their usual tea and biscuits. 

“Oh, it’s alright, isn’t it, Harry, my love?” Bathilda smiled down at Harry, tugging at his baby-grow gently. She smiled warmly at the fact that Harry was clutching the toy that she had made for him close to his chest.

“James is upstairs in the study, doing some work for Dumbledore.” Lily said, calling back into the living room. She finished the drinks and put the biscuits on a plate before levitating the plate into the other room. “Here we go.” She said with a soft smile before joining them both on the floor. “Let’s show Aunty Bathilda the sitting up we have been doing.” Lily said helping Harry to sit up, he still wobbled but held himself up quite well. 

“Oh, wonderful job!” Bathilda beamed, clapping her hands together. She thanked Lily for her tea as she took the mug off of her, still smiling at Harry. “My, he’s getting so big so quickly. You must feel so proud.”

“Very proud, he’s a right little handful sometimes. He looks so much like James with each passing day.” Lily said with a smile as Harry put his hands on hers as she clapped them together. Harry let out a big yawn and Lily smiled, putting him against her chest as he rested his head against her. She stroked his back, knowing he would fall asleep quickly. Lily picked up her drink with her spare hand and took a sip. “But how’s everything with you?”

“Oh, just fine.” Bathilda smiled, still fawning over Harry as he started to fall asleep against Lily’s chest. “It’s far easier being retired, I can tend to my garden and potter about. I do hope you two youngsters aren’t finding it too difficult being cooped up here all of the time.” 

“I honestly think James is going out of his mind already.” Lily said with a small shrug. “I’m doing okay because I’m busy with this one, we still get Sirius and Remus come over every so often so that’s okay. I’m worried that may have to stop as things get a bit more serious… But it’s okay. We’re okay.” She rubbed Harry’s back and looked off for a moment before looking back at Bathilda. “Biscuit?” She asked, indicating to the plate and taking one herself. 

“Thank you, dear.” Bathilda accepted the offer, taking a biscuit. “It can’t be easy, being stuck inside like this. I worry that it will hurt the relationship the two of you have, though I’m sure your love is strong enough to allow it to survive. If you ever need me to come over and watch Harry while you both go for a walk, you know where I am.”

“I will be very honest with you Bathilda, it’s not something I’ve been worrying about too much. We are doing… Pretty well.” Lily let a blush appear on her cheeks. “But I may take you up on the walk offer, it would be good to get out. We only get to take Harry out once a week now and only when Moody comes to escort us…” 

“I see.” Bathilda gave Lily a knowing smile as she sipped her tea. “It’s better for you both to have some time to yourselves, and it’s healthier for Harry to not be around you every second. I’m more than happy to spend some time with the little angel while you and your husband take a stroll.”

“Thank you, I’m sure we will take you up on that.” Lily said, resting her head back against the sofa to check Harry was okay. “Last week you were telling me all about Albus when he was younger, I was wondering if you could tell me more, his story is so interesting.”

“Oh, that boy.” Bathilda smiled, shaking her head as she reminisced. “So smart, so proud. His brother Aberforth was so different to Albus, always getting himself into trouble. You know the story of their father, Percival?”

“He went to prison for doing magic in front of muggles right?” Lily said, sipping her drink again. 

“Yes.” Bathilda nodded. “Leaving Kendra to tend to three children alone. Albus of course, clever as he was, had great things lined up for him. Head Boy, Minister for Magic. But when Kendra, rest her soul, passed, Albus took over as head of the household. It wasn’t easy for any of the Dumbledore children.” She sighed. “And I’m afraid my great-nephew wasn’t much help, once he came to stay with me.”

“He was Gellert Grindlewald right?” Lily asked, moving Harry into a more comfortable position lying back on her legs. “That’s who you showed me in that photo album you have.”

“Yes. He still is, even from his prison cell. I’m afraid he and Albus were rather taken with each other, always planning great things.” Bathilda looked into her mug of tea. “I had hope for him, but he disappointed me. I’m glad Albus stood up for what was right in the end, even if it resulted in the downfall of Gellert.”

“I imagine that’s quite hard for you, being unable to see him and for him to have turned out the way he did.” Lily said, a soft smile on her face. 

“Yes.” Bathilda nodded, glancing at Lily once again. “He was always rather… Rather odd in his interests and his views. Even as a boy. I am afraid that meeting Albus only exacerbated his vision of the Greater Good. I can’t say that I am proud of the man he became, nor the atrocities that he caused or was planning. It was all so long ago now, so long.”

“I can imagine.” Lily smiled at her. “Don’t worry if anything is too much and you don’t want to say anything, it’s all good…”

“It’s okay.” Bathilda smiled, squeezing Lily’s hand gently. “Was there any particular time you were interested in?”

“Not really, I just enjoy listening to your stories. You’ve lived such an interesting life, I love hearing all the stuff about Dumbledore, usually he’s such a secretive man.” Lily said, looking down at Harry when he moved. 

“I have an inkling that he feels ashamed.” Bathilda said, running her finger around the rim of her mug. “He has a lot of darkness in his past, has done things that he regrets. But that shouldn’t stop us from having faith in him. He’s a good man, and a powerful wizard.”

“He’s helped us all so much, he is a good man.” She said, brushing back a bit of Harry’s hair, smiling at her son. 

“Lily, do you want a cup of t- Oh, hello, Bathilda.” James had walked into the living room, dark circles under his eyes and his hair a mess. He’d been working non-stop on research for Dumbledore, finally deciding that it was time to take a break. 

“Hello, dear.” Bathilda smiled up at James, sipping her tea once more. “You look tired.”

“Kettle is still hot if you want one.” Lily said, indicating to the drinks they already had with a soft smile. She hated seeing James like this, but knew it was better for him to get stuck into the work than to concentrate on the fact they were stuck in the house. 

“Right, thank you.” James managed to smile at her, his eyes landing on Harry who was still fast asleep. “Sorry if I interrupted you both, has he been alright?” He nodded towards Harry, already edging towards the doorway to leave the two women in peace.

“He’s been good. Showed Bathilda his sitting, we’ve been playing with his toys as well.” She said, smiling back at her husband. “You can join us, we are just chatting.”

He smiled wider at that, moving over to sit on the sofa by Lily, his legs resting just beside her as he leaned against the sofa. “Sorry, I’m just a little stressed.” He said to Bathilda as he leaned down to gently stroke Harry’s hair. 

“Oh, you have nothing to apologise for, my love.” Bathilda said, her hand waving his words away. 

Lily placed her hand on James’ leg, squeezing it and smiled at him, looking over his face with a small frown before looking back to Bathilda. Harry chose this moment to open his eyes, looking blarily around at them all. “Hello, you.” Lily said with a soft smile, watching as he moved around on her legs. 

“There’s my boy.” James smiled, his face lighting up when he saw Harry wake up. There was something about seeing his son, seeing his bright green eyes that always filled him with joy. 

Bathilda took another biscuit from the plate, smiling at the small family sitting by her. 

Lily picked him up and sat him up so he could look at his parents. “Look, Daddy’s here to play.” Lily said brightly, watching Harry as he moved his arms around. 

James let out a small hummed laugh, reaching over to brush his index finger over Harry’s cheek. “Someone’s still sleepy huh?” He smiled warmly, feeling Harry’s soft skin against his own. 

“You’re a beautiful family.” Bathilda said softly. “It’s so nice seeing two young people who love each other so much, and are so caring to their son.”

Lily blushed and smiled at Bathilda. “Thank you for saying that.” She said and moved Harry into the hook of her arm. So he could curl up again, but Harry’s head was near James so he could see him. 

James slid off of the sofa so that he was sitting beside Lily, immediately moving to press his lips to Harry’s forehead. 

“Just telling the truth, sweetheart.” Bathilda smiled, setting down her empty mug. “I should probably head home, but please do consider taking me up on my offer, Lily.”

“We really will. Maybe one evening next week would be nice.” Lily said, nodding and moved to James, putting Harry in his arms. “Let’s get you up off the floor.” Lily said and helped Bathilda up.

“Hey, buddy.” James smiled down at Harry as he held him, laughing softly when his son immediately swiped for his glasses. “Hey, we’ve talked about this, mate!”

“Thank you.” Bathilda smiled at Lily as she got up off of the floor, trying not to groan at the pain in her legs. “And thank you very much for the tea and the conversation. It’s been a lovely way to spend the afternoon.”

“Whenever you fancy it, you know we will be in.” Lily said, helping her out to the door. “You are always welcome.” 

“Tell your lovely husband in there to get some rest.” Bathilda said, giving Lily a brief hug. “I know you are both attempting to stay busy and distracted but you shouldn’t overwork yourselves.”

“I’ll try. He’s a stubborn man.” Lily said and hugged her back. “I’ll talk to you in a few days.” 

“Of course. Look after yourself and your family.” Bathilda smiled as she took a step away. She raised her hand to wave goodbye to Lily before walking down the garden path to head home.

Lily waved to Bathilda before closing and locking the door and returning to James and Harry, sitting back down next to him. “You look rough…”

“I’m okay.” James said, not looking at her. He was smiling at Harry, who had his hand clasped around James’ finger. “Just needed a little break, I’ll carry on in a minute.”

“You can carry on tomorrow.” She said, resting her head on his shoulders and looking down at Harry. “For now, me and Harry want you around.”

“Dumbledore wants me to do this for him, I can’t just stop.” James said, though his voice had no sense of motivation in it. His head moved to rest on top of Lily’s, letting Harry continue to grip at his finger.

“Yes, he wants you to do it, but he doesn’t want you to do it twenty-four hours a day. You are having a break.” Lily said, pulling down Harry’s baby grow and put a hand on his tummy. 

“Okay…” James whispered, turning his head so that he could press a soft kiss to her hair. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t overwork myself like this, but I feel so useless.” He sighed, moving the hand that wasn’t supporting Harry’s back to pick up his wand, making the coloured puffs of smoke appear that Harry loved so much.

“I know. But you are doing a lot. It’s okay. You don’t need to make up for it.” She said and put her hand on James’ back, rubbing it softly. 

“I just wish I could be out there, rather than sitting at home, reading books and parchments.” He sighed, letting his eyes close for a second. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being a lousy husband, and an even more lousy father.”

“You are not… In no way are you being either of those things.” She said, moving her hand to his waist to hold him close. “You are helping to save the wizarding world, while still being there for us.” She kissed his cheek. 

“I don’t know how you manage to be so bloody positive.” James stared at her in wonder, shifting Harry a little so that he was sitting with his back against James’ chest. “You are a marvel.”

“I’ve got you and Harry, it’s all I need. As long as you are both safe.” She said, moving forward and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said, leaning in to kiss her again. “So much.” Harry squirmed a little in his lap, evidently wanting to crawl over to his toys to sit and play with them again. So James set him down, letting him do his own thing for a little bit. “I’ll cool it down, I’ll make sure I’m spending more time with the two of you.”

“Maybe we just balance it better. James, I can always help, when Harry’s asleep or playing. I know enough about all this stuff.” She shrugged. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I want.”

“I am happy.” He smiled at her, stroking his fingers through her hair. “And I’d like that, us working together. But I also don’t want you to end up like this, overworked and stressed.”

“Don’t worry, I have more tolerance than you with stuff like this. You remember all those nights in the library?” She smiled, watching Harry as he grabbed one of his toys. 

“I was so annoying then.” He laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “It all seems like such a long time ago, but it really wasn’t.” He sighed and shook his head. 

“Just a few years. We’re not quite that old yet.” She moved closer in his arms. “We’re all going to have an early night tonight.”

“Yeah, though it’s my turn to make dinner tonight.” He smiled, watching as Harry let out a small shriek as he flung his hippogriff toy up in the air, clapping his hands happily. “So as long as I don’t burn down the house, we should be fine to get to bed early.”

“Preferably not, I managed to clean most of it while Harry slept earlier.” She said, watching Harry. “Well done.” She said to him and passed him back the hippogriff.

“You know, he might even make it as a chaser.” James said thoughtfully, smiling at their son. “Though his obsession with my glasses still has me convinced he’ll be a seeker in later life.” 

“If he even wants to play quidditch.” She said looking back at James. “Which he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to.” 

“Lily, he’s my son. Of course he’s going to play quidditch.” James chuckled, but he knew that if Harry did decide not to play in the future, he would accept that choice. “Did you and Bathilda have a nice time? Sorry if I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin it.” She smiled and moved to place her legs over his and wrapped her arms around him. “We were just chatting about different stuff, she’s offered to babysit soon so we can go for a walk just you and me, get some fresh air and some time outside.”

“That would be nice. I love Harry, but sometimes I miss having time for just the two of us.” He smiled as he watched Harry babbling away to himself in gibberish on the floor. He let his other hand rest on Lily’s leg, smiling at the way they were sitting together.

“Me too. I want to be back in that cottage by the sea. I’m sure Harry would love it.” Lily said, watching Harry still. “As soon as this is all over we will have to take him to the beach.”

“I can imagine it now, his little smile when he sees the sea for the first time ever.” He said softly, his fingers tracing circles over her shoulder. “It’ll be like we never left.”

“Oh no, I pushed a human out of me since then.” She said with a small laugh. “Harry, baby, don’t eat that.” Lily said reaching forward and taking it out of his mouth. She then picked him up and brought him back over to them. “You’d like to go to the beach one day.” 

Harry simply shoved his thumb in his mouth in response, kicking his legs up and down on Lily’s lap. “How did we manage to produce such a weirdo?” James laughed, ruffling Harry’s hair. “Why are you so weird, Harry?”

“He is your son.” Lily said, looking back at James before laughing. “You’re not weird, Harry, you are perfect and we both love you lots and lots.”

“Your mother is right.” James grinned, moving to blow a raspberry on Harry’s belly, causing the baby to let out a scream of laughter. James peered up at Lily again, a goofy smile on his face. 


End file.
